Bex @sapphicbluegoddess - Tumblr Blog

Good stuff.

This. This is good fiction writing advice. I really appreciate how it was formatted as “this is a common problem, here is a solution to try in your own work” and not “oh god, don’t do that!” without any extra help. And I extra appreciated the “don’t rely on adverbs” bit, because they do have their place but they aren’t the only way actions can be emphasized.

cartoonrival

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

cartoonrival

if Open Link in New Tab is wrong then baby i dont want to be right

ruffboi-mags

So apparently, over the summer, Quibi (the shortest-lasting streaming service ever lmao) did a quarantine project called “Home Movie: The Princess Bride” where a bunch of celebrities recreated The Princess Bride in tiny chunks at home.

And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.

So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:

Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:

And it’s all just delightful.

But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.

As Prince Fucking Humperdink.

movebackintime

https://youtu.be/lR8pA_WV9QI

Here ya go

laziestgirlintown

In case you need a comfort watch and because Youtube search nowadays sucks rancid farts, I remind you of the Princess Bride Home Movie from the lockdown, starring everybody

phillymint

You and your spouse have been married almost a decade. Your spouse has several bank account, credit cards, and small investments that they haven't shared with you. your finances are separate, save for a groceries account they mete out specific amounts into. You didn't agree to this arrangement, you just didn't really get a say. You've had chronic illness for a while so work has been patchy. You're struggling to cover your cell bill and bus fare in slow months. Your spouse wants to solve this by giving you an allowance ($65/mo). This kind of financial arrangement in a marriage is:

Totally normal, I see no problem with it.

Unusual but not my business.

Questionable.

Worrying.

Secret option (put in the tags)

Voting ended onMar 21, 2025

phillymint

Wow. I was not expecting the massive response this post got, but thank you to everyone who's been filling out this poll and/or commenting on it! I feel like maybe I should give some clarification or context?

I posted this poll because my spouse thinks the above arrangement is reasonable and their prerogative. They feel that what is theirs is theirs, and they don't have to share it with their spouse, and wouldn't expect me to share what's mine with them if the tables were turned. I deliberately avoided using language in the poll that made any of the responses leading, because I didn't want to influence the results. When my spouse and I have arguments about how few of my basic needs they meet, and how vulnerable I feel, they tend to dig their heels in and insist that defining what a partnership looks like is up to the individuals and it's ok to deviate from the norm (which I agree with in principle, but only if both parties agree to the arrangements and can do so freely, not through coercion), and sometimes I genuinely feel like I'm crazy for thinking that there's a basic standard we get to expect from each other mutually, not in this one-sided way, and that my partner is being being both neglectful and controlling at the same time. I posted this poll because even when my spouse makes me feel like I'm being unreasonable, I know in my gut I'm not (not least of all because we very much did talk about our expectations of each other in both the best and worst potential situations, and what they promised me is not what I'm living now).

To see how many people have responded by straightforwardly calling this financial abuse, and to see how few people see this as normal, is validating to say the least. I've begun the process of building myself a life raft out of this situation, and I think I needed to see this feedback - so many strangers responding to what I hope is as neutral a summary of the situation as I intended it to be, and still calling it like I see it.

What I didn't put in the above poll is the even crazier stuff: A few years ago I ended contact with my abusive family, and my spouse promised to take care of me. Not long after they stopped giving me emotional support and asked me to seek it from my friends instead of them. When my computer, my main work tool, suddenly stopped working, they would only help me pay for a new one if I paid them back for it (they put me on a payment plan, but it was better than a bank loan because there was no interest and they let late payments slide). I also contracted a serious chronic illness because my partner was careless and ignored my existing health issues which made me vulnerable, and they failed to take care of me to the point I wasn't even eating properly while in bed with a fever, and for months after. Any support they gave was won at the cost of arguments I didn't have energy for, and reluctantly, but to friends and family my partner presented themselves as a caretaker.

I've struggled to work steadily and most of my limited income went to repaying the cost of my computer, so I depleted any savings I had left after the pandemic. As a result I sometimes couldn't even afford basics like toiletries or even clothes (I once showed up half an hour late to a doctor's appointment because the zipper on my only jeans broke and I had to wear a skirt in the freezing cold), and my partner, while expressing sympathy verbally, didn't take any action to offer tangible support, ie. buying me a new pair of jeans. I didn't have my family to rely on for safety and support. Anything I want or need, whether it's a necessity or something like a trip to visit family or friends who all live far away, I have to meet my partner's parameters since they're the one footing the bill. It took many arguments and detailed explanations of my difficulties and expectations before they would give me basic support like a one-off clothing purchase, and even more negotiation for it to be given in a way that allowed me autonomy in decision making (ie. they handed me a limited budget instead of going shopping with me or asking me to run purchases by them first).

I've given my partner a lot of leeway because they're struggling with several simultaneous neurodiversities and they tend to be passive observers in most situations, rather than active participants. I can see the ways in which they struggle to understand my experience because of their NDs. It has also been several years now since their diagnosis, and they use their ND as an excuse, but won't seek support for it. I have to do the emotional heavy lifting for us both, and if my expectations of them feel reasonable to me, it doesn't matter because if it's outside of their comfort zone, even the simplest things become contentious and they get the final say, since they're the only one in the relationship who have financial independence right now. I have no access to, nor do I get updated on, any of their bank accounts or savings (worrying in case of an emergency), except for a debit card which has a set amount on it at any given time and is only for groceries and recurring bills.

My spouse will give me information on their financial standing occasionally if I ask, but they are very hesitant and reluctant. I have a bank account of my own, and my spouse has asked to see my monthly earnings for the purpose of understanding my needs, but I'm hesitant to show them because of how much of my trust they've compromised, and how private they've always been about their financials (not to mention that it indicates they don't trust me to state my needs reasonably and reliably). I believe that everyone in a marriage should have at least one personal bank account, but our finances aren't shared at all, save for the one shared groceries/bills account. That account does, however, include medical costs, and as long as my spouse approves the spending, I can use it for things like amenities.

I don't know if I will show my partner this poll, but it's really good to have in case I would like to. It shows what I've been saying to them for a very long time, which is that my expectations are based in widely socially accepted ones that most people are aware of, and while I want to respect that my partner's ND may preclude them from having understood this, I also feel it's reasonable to ask that they accept that I'm not unreasonable in having these expectations (especially since they had justified this with commitments they made when we got married and have since broken).

phillymint

It's been well over a year since this post and I wanted to add an update:

I never did show my spouse this poll, but what I did do was go to

A lawyer

A domestic abuse non-profit

A government agency

and had all three confirm that the situation was economic abuse. It took me several months but I scraped together enough to have a consultation with a divorce lawyer and learned what my options were. I wasn't expecting to get much - even though they'd have to either sell our home and give me half of what he got for it, or buy out my half, I didn't think they'd be willing to do the former or have the money for the latter, but I could at least get alimony and I could take care of my needs and my health problems better and get away from the stress of the marriage. So I asked my spouse for a divorce.

The divorce process itself was... illuminating. I found out that my spouse had several massive savings accounts they had conveniently forgotten to tell me about. And what was lucky for me, they didn't seem to understand that in a marriage all things are legally shared. They seemed to think that if something was only under their name, it was theirs exclusively - like putting a label in your clothes for summer camp. So they didn't secure any of their accounts, and most of them consisted of funds accumulated during the marriage. Not long after that came to light, they moved out (their ND includes being severely conflict averse and you can imagine things became... tense). It took a long time until I could start to relax and feel like I could be safe again.

In the end I walked away with enough to have a safety net. I bought an apartment that meets my disability needs, and have enough to live on for a few years while I get back on my feet (though hopefully it won't take that long). Moving, and doing all this on my own was really hard, but luckily I've had wonderful friends who've helped me and been incredibly supportive. I still feel like I'm putting myself back together and finding myself, but am doing worlds better.

Thank you to everyone who commented and reblogged and added tags - that massive and unapologetic naming of this situation as abuse was so so validating and meant the world to me. I was significantly luckier than most people facing a similiar situation and found a way out. I hope you'll consider donating to one of these domestic abuse non-profits if you're able to, to help others who are struggling:

If you want to volunteer with domestic violence nonprofits, make donations, fundraise for them, or gather information, this can be the ultim

lordsausage

shoutout to the words "overmorrow" and "ereyesterday". english losing these words was stupid. "the day after tomorrow" "the day before yesterday" clunky-ass constructions. revolting. i'm bringing overmorrow and ereyesterday back in my idiolect and there is nothing you can do about it

segamascott

shawty's like a malady in my head

enki2

androdragynous

[ID: A tweet by TylerAlterman:

"In the middle of a "forcing party" where friends and I are forcing one another to do the things that we've been avoiding.

So far: [bullet list] A passport has been filed for; An inbox has been zero'd; A personal website has been created; & more.

I recommend this format!"]

anathemaegg

call that attending an Executive Function

enki2

androdragynous

[ID: A tweet by TylerAlterman:

"In the middle of a "forcing party" where friends and I are forcing one another to do the things that we've been avoiding.

So far: [bullet list] A passport has been filed for; An inbox has been zero'd; A personal website has been created; & more.

I recommend this format!"]

anathemaegg

call that attending an Executive Function

monstermonger

Friend in an alleyway | my wife sent me this photo the other day and said "you HAVE to draw this." and I agreed completely <:

monstermonger

oh I was told you can only see the photo if you have a bsky account, so here's a screenshot of it!

fucktheflagandfuckyou

its been 6 months and im still not over this. easily best and most hilarious play in baseball history

fucktheflagandfuckyou

for those who dont really understand:

-the first baseman had no reason to chase Baéz, if he just stepped on the bag he was automatically out

-theres two outs, so if hes out, the inning is over. even if the runner on second base gets home, the run doesnt count. its not until hes safe at first that the run scores

-theres no specific rule in baseball about running backwards from first, just that you “cannot retreat to home base” meaning so long as if you dont touch the plate, its fine

-Baéz ran backwards to kill enough to get the run to score, and then stole and extra base on the base on the bad throw

-HE TOOK THE TIME TO UMPIRE HIS OWN PLAY AND CALL SAFE

what a fucking sport yall

bisexuel

@fractaldunes

altospaceangel

Javier Baéz’s nickname according to those announcers is El Mago which is spanish for The Wizard

Well earned

philippelebonducdebourgogne

love how the explanations do not help at all

officiallordvetinari

Let me see if I can break this down a little more.

Javier Báez (the batter, a Chicago Cub, wearing blue) has just hit the ball. His job is now to run around the bases - 1st, 2nd, 3rd, back to where he started (“home”), at which point he will have scored a point. In practice, he will probably stop partway, wait for the next batter to get a hit, and try to make it home from there.

The Pittsburgh Pirates (in white) are fielding. Their job is to stop the Cubs from scoring by getting them out, by various combinations of catching the ball and tagging people or bases with it.

The scoreboard (top left) shows that one Cub has already made it to second base, so he will resume running now that Javy has a hit. It also shows that two Cubs are out. If a third Cub gets out, their turn to bat will be over, it will be the Pirates’ turn to bat, and the Cubs can’t score anymore (for now, but that’s not relevant).

The Pirate at first base (the first baseman) has the ball. All he needs to do is step on first base while holding it before Javy gets there, and Javy is out. This is probably the number one most common thing a first baseman has to do.

He does not do it.

For some reason he starts chasing Javy, presumably trying to tag him with the ball directly. This is a perfectly legitimate way of getting him out, but also completely unnecessary.

This has never happened to Javy before. Unsure what else to do, he just kind of… jogs backwards away from him.

Meanwhile, the Cub who was at second base (Contreras) has made it all the way back to home. Because the Pirates’ first baseman has helpfully walked the ball back home, he can easily toss it to the Pirate at home (the catcher) who will tag Contreras out.

The catcher doesn’t tag him in time.

The umpire signals that Contreras is safe (not out).

Javy also signals that Contreras is safe, just for fun. He’s never been nearby when a teammate makes it home before, and he’s enjoying himself.

Notice that the score has not changed, even though Contreras made it home. That’s because Javy is still technically running to first base. If he gets out before he reaches it, the Cubs’ turn to bat is over, and nothing else that’s happened since he hit the ball matters.

Javy remembers this, and heads back to first base. The catcher throws the ball to another Pirates fielder, who is frantically running to do the first baseman’s job.

He doesn’t catch it.

Javy is safe at first. Contreras scores (although the scoreboard won’t change for a second).

Javy notices how far away that ball landed, and decides he can make it to second base before anyone picks it up and tags him out.

An offscreen Pirate throws the ball to second base, where another Pirate is ready and waiting to catch it, tag Javy out, and end the Cubs’ turn to bat.

He doesn’t catch it.

Javy is safe at second. The video doesn’t show it, but he will go on to score as well.

This should have been a very easy out for the Pirates, but through two dropped catches and one truly bizarre decision from the first baseman, they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and turned it into two points for the Cubs.

The Cubs won this game by two points.

fucktheflagandfuckyou

HAPPY OPENING DAY OF BASEBALL 2022 YALL. LETS PRAY FOR MORE OF THIS BULLSHIT

uncahier

I know I’ve reblogged this before, but here’s a version with an explanation for folks unfamiliar with the game* and this amazing comment:

Never change, Pittsburgh

worldsbeyondpod

Honored friends,

The Worlds Beyond Number: The Official Graphic Novel Kickstarter launches on June 16, 2026 at 6AM PT / 9AM ET, and we wanted to let our Patreon supporters by the fireside know about an exclusive bonus you'll receive during the campaign.

As a thank you for supporting Worlds Beyond Number on Patreon, all paid Patreon subscribers who back any physical tier of the Kickstarter campaign will receive an exclusive special edition comic book at no additional cost.

More details: https://www.patreon.com/worldsbeyondnumber/posts/patreon-wizard-1-160758655

socialmaya

Occasionally forget people genuinely think capitalism is thousands of years old

sylestial

One time I was talking about Robin Hood with some coworkers and one guy was like “he was bad because the people he helped learned to expect handouts” and I wanted to be like… okay can you explain how that flawed capitalist propaganda applies to feudalism

scallioncreamcheesebagel

reminder that capitalism was literally invented in the 16th century

tayefeth

That’s an exaggeration. What was invented in the 16th century was mercantilism. Capitalism really dates for the beginning of the nineteenth century, with the rise of industry and cash crops over artisans and merchants. Vulture capitalism, with the notion that companies have no duties other than generating profit, is even younger.

antique-scarecrow

Capitalism is only 200 years old and I have to say, they have not been an impressive 200 years

downtroddendeity

I think a lot of this comes from the fact that most people don’t know the formal definition of capitalism. We all know the word, we’ve all seen the jokes, but very few people bother to actually define it unless they’re talking about political theory and philosophy, so it’s easy to end up with the impression that Capitalism = Money Can Be Exchanged For Goods And Services.

Capitalism is the economic system where most of the means of production (i.e. everything people need to have to make the stuff that everyone wants) are owned by private individuals or corporations, who then hire people to provide the labor necessary to produce things, with the intent of selling the output at a profit. It’s the difference between “you’re a carpenter and you make a chair and you sell it” and “you’re Richard Q. Richington who owns a chair factory, and you pay people to sell the chairs you paid other people to make and then all the excess money goes back to you.” There have been Richard Q. Richingtons on and off throughout history, but that being the norm for every single industry is a pretty recent development.

antiterfbutch

An alarming amount of people seem to think capitalism = all trade, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

cryptotheism

If staff reformed the ban system to stop banning trans women and used the resulting good will to re-introduce pornography, this site would become a juggernaut. It would swallow Twitter whole.

glazeliights

adrenaline-revolver

“Eridians dislike earth because they abandoned Grace.” *Incorrect Buzzer Sound* ya missed the point of the story buddy! It’s not about someone being ‘bad’ it’s about the incredible power of love and that love being worth dying for!

Gimmie Eridians who are absolutely heartbroken to hear that humans where so desperate and so scared that they where willing to part with not just one Grace, there were three of them! Gimmie Eridians touched to find that the humans planned a way for their sacrifices to be as comfortable as possible. Gimmie Eridians who send earth a message saying “We know it must have hurt to send your heroes to die, but one made it and he’s safe here. We lost 22 good Eridians on the journey we would have lost 23 if not for your Grace.”

Give me humans sitting on Earth slowly coming to the conclusion that when we look up not only are we not alone, someone out there is alive because of one of us. That no matter what we think of ourselves a whole species thinks highly of us because we helped save the galaxy. Give me humans who figure out how to send a probe to Erid filled to the brim with messages for Grace and footage of a monument being raised that reads his name, his crews names, and then “in memory of the 22 Eridians who lost their lives on the journey to save the stars.”

haruu-luv

everyone talks about stratt sending grace with his hackey sack but not the sour skittles she sends him with because why were those on the ship if not for the guy who we see buy an entire register box worth of them on earth

herewithstupid

I feel like the hackey sack was Stratt. A memory of their first interaction. A reminder of what’s at stake. A reminder of what all of this is for and how this little ball of lava is only lava in our minds, and is not that scary if we just grab it and hold onto it.

But the skittles? The skittles were all Carl.

Carl, who’s just supposed to be a quiet and imposing body guard. Carl who gets stuck with baby sitting duty.

Carl, who is the first person Grace asks for input from. Not Stratt, not the military officials, not phoning another science friend. Carl.

Carl, who does his job of be seen and not heard so well it earned him a job on the Petrova task force. Carl, who is obviously smart to have gotten to where he is- but is not ‘smart’ in the way the enlisted scientists are. Carl, who is there to be the muscles to everyone else’s brains.

And yet, it’s Carl that Grace looks to and asks, “if you were a little space dot, why would you go to Venus? Why not a closer planet, like Mercury?”

And it’s such a simple question but the way that Grace asks is so important. The sun is dying and as terrifying and heavy as that implication is, Grace doesn’t talk about it like that. He doesn’t say, “Carl, what migration criteria do you think are necessary to trigger an IR light release, despite a 107.7 km distance between them?” He asks Carl in the same way a teacher and a friend asks something. “Yo, if you were X, why would you do Y?” He presents it as though Carl is an equal in this brainstorming.

And when Grace initially doubts Carl’s answer (“Venus’s atmosphere is almost completely CO2”), Carl responds with exactly what Grace needs to hear. “Maybe that’s fresh air to them.”

Do you all understand? I need others to understand this. Carl presents the same kind of answer that got Grace kicked out of the academic field. Grace’s academic paper was essentially “fuck you, we don’t know what an alien species would like.” And Carl’s gut answer was “Yo, you don’t know what these little space dots like.”

And from that moment on Carl isn’t just a body guard. He’s Grace’s fellow scientist. Yeah, sure, Grace knows the technology and HOW to design the experiment. But you hear Grace say it- it’s “The Carl Hypothesis”.

Then Carl, who has not once been laughed at by this person everyone treats as ‘the smart one’, who’s been made to feel ‘a part of’ through the whole experiment, goes a step further. Now not only has he proposed a successful hypothesis, he’s proposing successful solutions! He paid attention to everything Grace explains, and when the dots escape the slide, he tells Grace to go get them. And when Grace explains all the ways it could go wrong, he not only understands the problem because of how Grace has taught/explained, he understands enough to propose the obvious solution. “Just put that box in a bigger box.”

A scientist that was full of themselves getting high off the smell of their own fucking farts probably would have scoffed and laughed. But not Grace. Because Grace was always the kind to challenge the status quo with his own science.

And throughout all of this, they’re making themself fucking sick on sour skittles. And when Carl finally watches his co-scientist, his teacher, his friend, begging for help in the dirt as he’s pinned down and sedated, it’s Carl that think of those fucking skittles. Because when Stratt had Grace shoved on a fucking fighter jet screaming his head off as he was flown off to the carrier, there was no time to pack that entire register of skittles.

And sure, Carl has a bag, occasionally. But he’s a grown ass man. And his job is to be a guard, and look intimidating- and he can’t munch on skittles while doing that.

But he keeps those extra bags. And sure, Stratt packed the dumbass tshirts and hackey sack and the one photo they have of him aboard the carrier… but it’s Carl that’s standing at her side, just like he was the first time he met Grace.

And it’s Carl that tucks those last few bags of sour skittles in Grace’s personal belongings.

And it’s Carl that’s hopes some part of Grace remembers him when he sees them. That he’s not forgotten by the one person that saw him for once as not just the muscles, but the brains too.

And it’s Carl that wants Grace to remember how important it is to always be curious and learning, and how sometimes the answer isn’t found by who has the most degrees but by who is willing to ask the ‘why’s that everyone else takes for granted.

And while Stratt hopes that Grace and the others will find the answer that saves humanity- it’s Carl that’s hopes the sourness of those skittles might be enough to mask the bitterness of his betrayal.