Sarah!! @sarah-swift - Tumblr Blog

folklore will have 16 songs on the standard edition, but the physical deluxe editions will include a bonus track called “the lakes.” Because this is my 8th studio album, I made 8 deluxe CD editions and 8 deluxe vinyl editions that are available for one week 😄 Each deluxe edition has unique covers, photos, and artwork. Available exclusively at https://store.taylorswift.com

serialreblogger

UGH there is NOTHING more frustrating than trying to research ADHD, it’s all “do you interrupt people a lot? do you find it hard to sit still?” and “boys are twice as likely to have ADHD than girls” and “here’s how to deal with your ADHD child” and there’s nothing about adults, nothing about underdiagnosis in women, nothing about RSD, dyscalculia, sensory processing, emotional regulation

i am not a little boy pretending to be an airplane in the back of the classroom. I was never allowed to be, because I was a little girl. i was a little girl who couldn’t sit still but i had to because ladies sit still while the boys shout and fidget in the background. i was a little girl who got left behind when recess ended because i was so engrossed in my small rock garden i didn’t hear the bell; i was a little girl who grew up smart enough to take precalculus, but couldn’t for the life of me remember my times tables; i was a little girl who got so angry and didn’t know how to stop it (“you can control your emotions!” my dad told me; “don’t bottle it up,” my mom said; “scream into a pillow, write it down, take deep breaths” everyone told me, and none of it helped); i was a little girl who lay awake every night terrified i’d forgotten to do something due tomorrow; i was a little girl who couldn’t make friends because socializing was hell because if i made one wrong move, received one negative response, i might as well have set myself on fire; i was a little girl who took pride in being the Weird Girl, because i had to; i was a little girl with adhd

and now i’m an adult woman with adhd, and i know that because of people on tumblr, not because of the DSM-V. The DSM-V and the CDC tell me little boys have ADHD, not little girls. they tell me if i don’t interrupt people (don’t interrupt people, that’s rude, being rude means hurt hurt hurt because of RSD and nice young ladies aren’t rude anyway) and finish assigned tasks (don’t forget don’t forget don’t forget if you forget they’ll hate you) i don’t have the inattentive component; and they tell me if i can sit still (what kind of organs do snails have, anyway? let’s research that for four hours) and avoid butting into people’s space (don’t be rude, don’t be RUDE) i don’t have the hyperactive component; and they only ever mean to talk to parents of little ADHD boys, and there is nothing, nothing, nothing meant for me.

tuckoo

ADHD

Not sure why ADHD is trending on Twitter, but sure, here’s my big post about ADHD, because now it’s too long to be a Twitter thread (ADHD, amirite?):

ADHD has possibly THE most inaccurate name for a medical condition:

Dysregulation of attention, not deficit. We focus MORE intensely than neurotypicals on things that have caught our attention, because our neurotransmitter receptors (e.g., dopamine) developed atypically. But we struggle with switching tasks, because of this.

Inattentive-type ADHD won’t be as obvious, because it’s not the “physically disruptive boy child” stereotype.

Yes, it is a real neurodevelopmental condition, and yes, the medical community knows what it is.

No, not everybody “is a little bit ADHD.” Saying that shows that you haven’t educated yourself about the condition.

It usually manifests very differently for women, & MANY medical professionals aren’t informed about that.

Letting a child’s ADHD go undiagnosed and untreated leads to a VERY high risk of adulthood co-morbid anxiety & depression.

Letting someone’s ADHD go undiagnosed also leads to VERY high risk of addiction, because addictive substances trigger a fast release of dopamine, and the reward centers of our brains desperately need dopamine to live a happy & fulfilling life.

Black kids are 70% less likely (and Latinx kids 50% less likely) to be diagnosed than their white peers, because the most noticeable behaviors are attributed to willful misbehaving defiance, as opposed to a neurological cause.

This contributes to higher suspension rates for Black and Latine/Latinx kids, and higher likelihood of entering juvenile detention systems.

The misdiagnosis-to-prison pipeline is very real, with some neuroscience studies estimating that 40% of inmates in the US have ADHD.

Stigmatizing pharmaceutical treatments is harmful, because it inhibits people from accessing treatment.

Stimulant medications do not affect people with ADHD the same way they do for neurotypicals. They have a calming and focusing effect on folks with ADHD (unless co-morbid anxiety, depression, or other co-morbid conditions interfere)

Many folks with ADHD struggle to even remember to take their meds, and the most commonly prescribed treatments now have a time-delay mechanism that helps limit the risk of addiction.

Getting diagnosed as an adult made me cry, out of relief. I finally had an explanation, & I could forgive myself.

I am perpetually hyper-aware of how “not normal” I am in social interactions. I go through life feeling like an alien, every day.

This can lead to a perpetual cycle of self-isolation and self-consciousness, along with other maladaptive coping mechanisms.

Many symptoms that occur with Autism can also occur with ADHD: sensory overload, hyper-fixation/hyperfocus, directness, rejection of societal norms, emotional dysregulation.

The reason people with ADHD seem like they make every conversation about themselves is because they are trying to make genuine connections with other humans and stay actively engaged in the topic. Anything else seems superficial, disingenuous, and meaningless. People with ADHD seek genuine connection, and we are trying very hard to make that connection with you.

As with Autism, people with ADHD frequently reject society-imposed notions of gender and sexuality. These societal constructs are fairly useless, frequently harmful, and honestly feel contrived, awkward, and silly. I’m not just making that up. There is a VERY high correlation between gender dysphoria and ADHD (as well as Autism).

The reason I have to write everything down is because my working memory basically doesn’t exist.

The reason we interrupt in conversation sometimes is because we literally won’t remember what we need to say by the time someone finishes talking.

I forget someone’s name before they even finish their sentence. There are a million other things happening in my brain as I am trying to navigate a social situation.

Folks with ADHD can struggle with “Information Retrieval,” which is ironic for me, considering my PhD research focus. The information is THERE, however, and if there is an external stimulus to trigger, my brain can access and retrieve the information that I have stored.

So many folks who have ADHD struggle when they are put on the spot, unexpectedly. They can’t just conjure something out of thin air, so none of their words come out right, and then they will feel like an imposter.

It’s not all bad stuff. The running joke is that people with ADHD don’t just “think outside of the box”…they throw the entire box out, and provide innovative solutions that many wouldn’t have considered.

ADHD is highly-correlated with innovation, entrepreneurship, physical accomplishment, and artistry (e.g., Bill Gates, Michael Phelps, Simone Biles, Jim Carrey, John Mulaney)

We have so many hobbies, hidden talents, and interests…and we’re VERY enthusiastic about ALL of them. They used to have a word for folks like that, and there’s a reason scientists have postulated that Leonardo da Vinci very likely had ADHD.

I can detect someone else who has ADHD or Autism almost immediately (even if they don’t know it), & immediately form bonds with them. I don’t make the rules. It just happens. And I find it very refreshing to interact with folks who are neurodivergent, because I can let my guard down and just be myself.

notayloritsbecky

Alrighty

So heres my story

So I have an older brother who we spend, well a lot of time together. Go to movies play Dungeons and Dragons. I did my laundry at his place and cleaned his apartment atleast once a month. We were roommates for almost three years.

My brother has asthma, his new roommate has Diabetes. And because of the nature of my job, I’m a hairstylist, i’m at a high risk of contracting Covid-19 (Im in close proximity to strangers all day long). Because of that and my brothers health issues and his roommates were not going to be able to hang out until this is all over

Then, the other day he sends me a message telling me that if he dies he has a life insurance policy that im the beneficiary of. And he told me how he would want me to spend it Hes been self isolating since like March 15th so its unlikely hes going to catch it. But hes all I have left. Our dad died 5 years ago and our mom 14 years ago. All of our grandparents passed away the last one this past August.

I know hes just preparing for the worst but, I just cant handle the thought of being all alone in the world. Just me and my cats

Now on top of all of that I was laid off a week ago today. The franchisee of my salon says he’ll reopen as soon as he can but as of right now i have 4.87 in the bank. I have 3 credit cards but I maxed them out trying to save money and getting to and from work (which is a whole other story, I dont have a drivers license or a car, I was supposed to have my last driving lesson tomorrow but because the DPS is closed indefinitely the driving school postponed my driving lessons) I would take a lyft to work, which would usually only cost me about $8, and thats on the high end, but Lyft was jacking up their prices and I was spending about $12.

My rent is due, I got the late fee waived because I was laid off but I still owe $135. My power bill is due, its $65

I’ve signed up for unemployment and ive been tentatively approved for 387 a week. I’ve also signed up for temporary food stamps so I’m hoping that goes through soon or atleast I hear something back about it

Yeah so I’m a little stressed out

notayloritsbecky

And the Govenor has extended the order through April 30th

Fuck

Life

notayloritsbecky