I think it’s time I resurrected this blog. I haven’t written in here in a long time. Originally this place was for documenting my experiences and stories about preparing for and living in London. Unfortunately, I kept on putting off writing and I never really got to write the stories and express the emotions I was going through at the time. Best of intentions, I suppose.
But now I’m at a new stage. I got pulled back home before I was ready and before there was time to grieve, and now I’m in that period of readjustment to the place that was home. It isn’t any more, not in the same way. There is a constant ache, a constant fight, and I think I could use a way to really lay all that on a page.
I don’t know who follows this blog any more. Maybe no one does. That’s okay. If someone does and they learn or they feel the same, that’s awesome. If no one does and it’s me talking to myself, that’s always been therapeutic. This will become a tale of a new journey: one where I learn about and find myself again.
When I return from my trip home (which happens in 9 days, I'll have you know! 9!), I'm going to develop a new system. It is common on the blog or vlog-osphere to have a theme for certain days or, at the very least, a system of when updates occur. Since I clearly fail at updating this with any regularity and have, as a result, missed many landmark events, boring anecdotes and other exciting things over the last 16 months while I've been here, my return to the homeland will be the launch of a new system. I've yet to decided what it will be. Perhaps of a Sunday afternoon, I will sit down and write a new entry. I don't see something happening every day and, depending on what my new job is (because I will have one!), I probably won't have the time for daily updates. Weekly, however, seems like a good start, and if I set myself a day, a time in my schedule as I do for church or feeding myself, then I can see updates occurring. It'll be good for me, updating regularly! Everyone will start getting sick of me which can't be an entirely awful thing.
I've not had a chance to get down to the Tower of London while the poppies have been out. Between school, being away and rainy weather, the daylight hours I've had have not been numerous. The crowds, I've been told, are insane in size, so I've chosen to observe through others' photos.
The Coolest Girl, from 'A Very Potter Sequel'. This song was one that got me through a tough couple of months before leaving home, so it is one that will always be very close to my heart. Seeing it performed live on Saturday almost broke me. This version is from Market Days in 2011. Take a listen. Enjoy.
Almost 12 months to the day of leaving Australia for the shores of the mother country, I find myself reflecting on the experiences I've had since I've arrived. I've learned a lot about myself, grown and hopefully changed for the better. I've done things I'd never imagined I would get to do. Sure, there's still plenty to be achieved, but there's still time. After all, I have another twelve months lined up over here.
But it's the last weekend that I've come here to reflect upon. One of the reasons London was on my list of places to go was for the thriving cultural scene: for the museums and the rich history, for the West End and its shows. I didn't come intending to see well-known people perform, but that happened. I met some of my favourite actors and my favourite musicians. My collection of photos and autographs unexpectedly exploded. I didn't expect Arthur Darvill. I certainly never expected Tom Hiddleston.
Darren Criss, however, was a dream far beyond any of my wildest.
I will willingly admit that I was one of many who discovered Darren through Glee. I knew of A Very Potter Musical, but hadn't watched it until I did that Google search every new fan does to try and find out all about this magical person you've just discovered. I fell fast and completely. I don't know what about Darren drew me in, but the more I saw, the more I adored.
I stumbled upon a video around the same time of the then recent flashmob by the Darren Criss Street Team. Now, I love flashmobbing and I was caught in my new obsession with Darren Criss, so this looked like something I needed to be a part of. A trip through Google found me the Street Team page. This was something I needed to be a part of. It was a group that weren't merely fans; they were a team who wanted to support a guy who was totally awesome and totally talented, and show the world this guy and why he was just so damn special. A goal I absolutely identified with, I joined and haven't looked back since.
I soon became an officer, co-leading the Australian chapter, and it's been an amazing journey. It's encouraged me to do a number of wild things in the name of Darren, from adapting books to writing song parodies, climbing onto a roof once, as well as assisting in event planning, some attempts more successful than others. More importantly, I've made so many friends. Across the country, drawn together by our love of Darren firstly, but also by so many other things, they've made me stronger. They've made me stronger, encouraged me, made me do crazy things and just let me be myself. In the words of the man himself, "There is nothing more badass than being yourself."
In the months leading up to my departure for London last year, I had some difficult moments and struggles with various things that shook my strength and sometimes made me doubt my conviction. God absolutely knows what he is doing and makes things work out for the best, and sometimes that means having already put in place in your life music and lyrics that encapsulate where you are and make you fight to be stronger, that remind you that you have control of your life and show those who are against you that you're in life to win it. For me, that was Darren's lyrics. Songs got played on a loop as I gritted my teeth and planned what was going to be my big win.
"No way you're find me in the background
No damn way you're gonna see me satisfied
No way they're ever gonna make me back down
No, no way."
The life of an Australian Darren Criss Street Teamer though isn't an easy one. We're well-known as a country that is far away and, as a result, don't get an awful lot of people. Darren's influence on how my life was shaping up was getting stronger and stronger, but the chances of ever actually meeting the guy to tell him so were nearly impossible. Having performed on Broadway, on television, in movies and doing his own concert tour, an album in the works, he's in high demand. Getting to Australia? Highly unlikely. It makes an officer's work challenging, but hey, it'll make success all the more rewarding when we finally get him there.
But I'm not in Australia, am I? I'm in London. That's where, at a little convention called G4, the excitement went down. I love conventions. If it isn't your first, you see old friends. If it is your first, you have the chance to make new ones. You get to chat with those actors you see on TV, ask them questions and tell them things that you want them to know. When my friend and fellow officer, Laura, messaged me at an ungodly hour one Saturday morning to tell me Darren was going to be at this convention I was attending, needless to say, I completely flipped out.
I could not have been happier with this weekend. I got to catch up with my UK Street Teamers and share this excitement with them. I got to sit and chat with Darren and a few new friends for a couple of minutes, where I got to pass on greetings from my chapter and give him a gift on behalf of them. That was mind-blowing enough and it was just the first night. The next day I got to take a photo with the guy, which was incredible. Almost as incredible is how well the shot turned out. A photo with Darren? It's actually a crazy chance. Just one thing of many that I never expected to get to do.
Between sitting and listening to his Q&A session later that day and his concert later that evening, I was completely blown away. Darren talks a lot. An anecdote for everything, sometimes more, it was genuine and fun. He was clearly enjoying himself and as a result, so did the room of 500 of us.
The concert that evening was more than a dream and it took almost 24 hours for me to realise what an event that was, what an impact it was. An intimate gathering - if you can call 500 people intimate - the majority of us were sitting on the floor in front of a small stage for a concert that felt literally like a jam session in someone's living room. It wasn't a concert - it was a bunch of mates just hanging out. Darren, with the occasional help of his friends, crossed his entire repertoire - Disney, Little White Lie, Potter Musicals, Starship, original pieces, other covers, a Glee number. Anything I could have wanted to hear was there.
There were tears on my part on a couple of occasions. I expected none of that concert in my life. There were songs that reminded me of how I found Darren in the first place. There were songs that reminded me of my street team and the friends I've made there. There were songs that reminded me of the girl I was before I came here and made me reflect on my unbelievable year and how much stronger I am. This guy has done so much to change my life without even meaning to and there it all was, laid out in that room around me.
As I've previously said, being an Australian Street Teamer means you're often presented with setbacks, working against the obstacle of giant oceans to achieve anything. But as well as just celebrating myself as a person, this weekend reminded me of just why I got into the Street Team to begin with. Darren is about passion, fun, hilarity, and being yourself regardless of anything else. He's about showing that no matter how much you screw up a song, you can still come out the other side and laugh about it. Try things, give it everything, but don't be afraid to laugh if it doesn't work out. Don't give in because people are saying no or because obstacles seem stacked up against you. One day, things will work out in your favour and you'll see those dreams laid out in front of you. You'll be stronger. Say no to the status quo.
I'm currently on three weeks holiday for Easter. Two have already passed, chilling out in Colchester, but now, with a little money up my sleeve and a whole week to have any fun that I want, I decided that this final week was going to be all about the exploration and the fun stuff. To kick it off, I raced home from Colchester this afternoon, dumped my bags, dressed up, and headed down to the Royal Opera House at Covent Garden for the red carpet for the Olivier Awards, London's big theatre awards. Initially it was just an excuse to stalk Tom Hiddleston because he was nominated for an award and, despite currently filming in Toronto, was rumoured to be coming back to London for the ceremony.
But while Tom was my reason for going, I was far from disappointed with the experience. I was too late to get right on the fence, but I managed to snag myself a position behind a rail that was very close to the carpet anyway and with a great view. From there proceeded a hour and a half of sightings and waving at all number of people coming up the carpet. From Tom Hiddleston (who graced the carpet, practically solo, for the last 20 minutes to do some signings and a lot of selfies) to Benny and Bjorn from ABBA, Martin Freeman and Mark Gatiss of Sherlock fame, Dame Judy Dench, Gok Wan, Former Doctor Who companion Arthur Darvill and also James McAvoy. Oh, and a lot of other faces that I did not recognise but were dressed beautifully anyway.
It was a fantastic way to kick of my week. How often does one get to see a red carpet happen anyway? It's such an uncommon experience for most people, yet here it was on my doorstep, reminding me again just how much I love London's opportunities.
After what appears to have been an incredibly mild winter, to both my pleasure and my disgust (what about the snow???), spring is on its way. We've had temperatures of up to 19 degrees this week, with plenty of sunny days that have left me walking around outside with a thin jumper on over a t-shirt at most. It's rather alarming.
I haven't had much chance to look around London or around the area where my new house is, so I took advantage of the lovely afternoon today to have a little look around. Aside from a few shops that will come quite in handy over the next little while, I spent some time in Bunhill Fields, the burial ground opposite from Wesley's Chapel, my current place of residence.
There are flowers everywhere and it looks glorious. The squirrels are coming back out now as well, so I stopped briefly to have a chat to one while he snacked.
So the day has arrived. There's a matter of hours left until I leave for the airport and launch myself entirely into the unknown. Six months of preparations are over and all I have left is to toss myself out there and see if I float.
It's been a while since I wrote in here and updated everyone on what I've been up to. If I were to go into detail, I'd be here forever, so I'll just give you an overview and give you an idea. The long stories will come after the adventure has begun and I get to do things.
My visa was approved (all the cheers) and I now have the potential of five years of working over there. At this stage, it isn't the intention, but I'm not ruling it out. Who knows where this story might take me or how long it might last? But it's there, it's pretty and shiny and I am official.
The big drama was all surrounding selling my car. I took that right up to the last minute and a little bit over.
The final week leading up to my safety certificate running out, I was pushing hard on my car ad to get it sold. Finally, on the day I was admitting defeat and taking it to the dealer, I got a call from a girl who was interested. That began a week long ordeal of them looking over the car, racing to pay out the loan before they'd pay and take the car, and having to renew my safety certificate (which by this stage had run out). There were fifty million hoops I was made to jump through, but finally, after a week of stress and tears, the car drove out my driveway. I had my money and my savings for the trip were looking substantially healthier.
Making my bank balance look healthy has been an uphill battle itself. Thank god for tax returns!
I've spent the last 5 days running around like a lunatic, doing all my last minute jobs. I've cancelled things, I've unlocked and ended my plan (being on prepaid again is horrible!), I've scanned school resources and done numerous other jobs making sure I'm ready. Oh, and there was the haircut from hell that has left my hair an inch or two shorter than where I wanted it. I'm still mourning the loss of my hair. I refuse to accept my hair the way it is, but unfortunately, there's nothing much I can do about it. I'm just going to have to survive with it being short.
My suitcases are sitting on the floor next to me, stuffed and loaded with all sorts of bits and pieces. It weighs a ton and I have to pay for extra baggage because no matter how hard Mum and I tried, it just would not fit in the designated weight restrictions. I'm demanding that it's all essentials... I guess we'll see as I go if they actually are! As much as I have though, there are still many, many things that I've had to leave behind and I'm am rather sad about that. I've only packed one book which, for those who know me and my bookworm habits, is incredibly unheard of and very painful. I'm under instruction to join a library, but that doesn't make it any easier. My books are a part of me and I'm going to hurt without them.
So now, with everything pretty much prepared, all I do now is wait. It's 5pm as I post this. I have dinner, I have to get changed, my hair is getting braided for ease of care as I fly for 25 hours. That's about all there is. The waiting game is on as we count the minutes to departure.
