Sit And Read Another's Heart

My name is Sarah. I'm pale, I'm awkward, and I'm short.

[heartsnmagic]

[heartsnmagic]

[rai-r]

[pastart]

[klassizismus]

Morning at Cape Inubo, 川瀬巴水 Kawase Hasui, 1931

[nordicsublime]

Autumn

[nemfrog]

Various ferns. The fern paradise. 1878.

Internet Archive

[sarahhasablog]

Listening to Red (TV), I’m sucked back into all the emotions and memories.

The friends who also loved this album, and how we made breakfast at midnight.

That winter and the bus rides spent listening to the tracks.

The reminder of how I made a countdown for a missionary who was dragging me along and never bothered to tell me that he wasn’t ever going to make us official and was still writing his ex girlfriend.

Scarves and working at Pier 1.

Baking cookies and being really into red lipstick.

The blouse I bought from Forever 21 that resembled one that Taylor Swift had for photos used for the album/singles.

Meeting my now husband and feeling like State of Grace was our anthem at the time.

[zwrt]

[rosesinaglass]

[buddhabrot]

[lakevida]

sunroom update

[sarahhasablog]

The thought occurred to me today…

That you think you’re better than me. But define better!!!

Just because our lives are different, and we have different personalities—doesn’t make one or the other better.

I certainly don’t think I’m better than you. I believe that we both bring value to the table.

But do you see that? Or do you just see me as some delusional basket case who is apparently stuck in the past and can’t grow up?!

[venus-borne-deactivated20180619]

[andallshallbewell]

[vibewxtmelolly]

[sarahhasablog]

One step forward and two steps back... Why do I do this to myself? I didn’t think it was a big deal. I should have known better, but here we are. Me and my big mouth. I suddenly feel more guilt than maybe I should, because I’m so hard on myself, and I’m so terrified of fucking things up more than I already have.  I’m sorry, but I don’t know what this means for us. I’m literally shaking and anxious and the tears are welling up right now.