Reader and Larissa are virtually sexting, they’re both anonymous to each other but reader has a tattoo that Larissa has seen in pics.
ANYWAY, reader works for the sheriff department and after Wednesday gets into some trouble, reader drives Wednesday back to the academy and Larissa and reader meet, and Larissa sees her tattoo.
LARISSA KNOWS WHO READER IS BUT READER DOESNT KNOW WHO LARISSA IS. ANYWAY, Larissa doesn’t exactly Trust reader irl cause she’s a police officer, BUT readers actually an outcast and manages sheriff Galphin to go easier on the outcast kids.
Ok, loves, so we've all got the message that joking about suicide is bad for your mental health. Now we need to get on "joking that the planet/all of humanity has no future is bad for societal health/encouraging resistance to bad shit."
i don't think people understand the irony of the date on this post. yes it's jan 31st and it's a mood so every jan 31st we reblog it. but guys. . . this was made in Jan 2020. By the first week of February covid numbers were finally starting to come out of china, by mid Feb Italy was shutting down and by the end of Feb half the world was entering their covid lockdowns. OP Jan may have be tough but you had a big storm coming
it’s so important for your health to regularly interact with people at least a decade older than you who aren’t family, especially as a young person.
When my 45 year old teammate gives me advice on mental health and I know she understands because she’s had a tough adult life.
When my 32 year old friend tells me his life started improving for the first time the year she turned 30.
When the 60 year old man at the soup kitchen gives me permission to grieve by telling me I’m ‘just a baby’ with only gentleness in his voice.
It’s so much easier to abandon and break out from the cultural idealisation of youth when you surround yourself with wonderful people in all stages of their lives.
summary: Y/N makes a questionable purchase, endures an evening of coven induced chaos, and shares an unexpectedly nice breakfast.
wc: 8.5k (Chapter 2/?)
a/n: i'm not entirely happy with this chap, but ngl i have way too much fun writing the coven, I’m sorry. The first half of this chapter is definitely coven heavy (because they’re chaotic and I love them), but don’t worry, towards the end is all about Lilia. again this one’s super dialogue heavy, which i'm not used to but honestly, I couldn’t bring myself to cut any of it without hating myself. Just a quick heads-up, there’s no smut yet, but this chapter does lean into some more mature themes
Ch. 1
also on ao3
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A week had passed since the Great Flirting Incident, and while Lilia hadn’t exactly acknowledged anything outright, I could tell something had shifted. She was watching me more closely now, little glances when she thought I wasn’t looking, the occasional pause before she called me baby like she was testing the waters. But she hadn’t made a move, and if I was being honest, I wasn’t sure she ever would.
So, naturally, I decided to take matters into my own hands.
It started with a simple realisation: Lilia Calderu was a woman stuck in another century. She still used a landline, still read newspapers, and still had absolutely no concept of modern convenience. I mean, she handwrites every single appointment into an actual paper planner. Who even does that anymore?
At first, it was just a passing thought, how much easier things would be for her if she had a smartphone. But the more I thought about it, the more it felt like the perfect excuse to do something nice for her. Something that wasn’t just flirting but actually, you know, helpful.
Which is why I found myself standing in the phone store, staring at a sleek smartphone display, wondering if I was about to change her life or ruin mine.
By the following morning, Lilia was perched at the counter, lazily shuffling her tarot cards with that effortless grace that made my heart do embarrassing things. She glanced up as the door jingled, eyes flicking to the small shopping bag in my hand.
“What’s this?” she asked, raising a delicate brow.
I placed the bag on the counter with a triumphant grin. “It’s about time you stepped into this decade, Calderu.”
She sighed, long and suffering. “Y/n, I don’t need —”
“You do,” I interrupted, pulling out the sleek black smartphone. “This? This is a miracle. You can set appointments, track orders, and get this, stop living in the dark ages.”
Lilia stared at the device like it might bite her. “I like my dark ages.”
I rolled my eyes. “Come on, humour me. Think of it as an investment. For the shop.”
She exhaled dramatically but took the phone, turning it over in her hands with a look of mild disdain. “It’s so... modern. ”
“That’s the point.” I grinned. “And, because I care about y—” I stumbled, suddenly feeling awkward. “—because I care about... efficiency, I already programmed it with your contacts and the shop’s schedule.”
Lilia smirked, clearly enjoying my mortification. “Very thorough, baby.”
I flushed. “Just... try it.”
She sighed but started poking at the screen, and I watched, fascinated, as her brows furrowed in concentration. “Hmph. It’s... responsive.”
“That’s what touchscreens do.”
“Fascinating.”
I grinned, feeling victorious. “You’re welcome.”
Later that night, I sat on Agatha’s couch, nursing a drink and dramatically recounting my victory to the coven.
“She took the phone,” I said, gesturing grandly. “She even said it was fascinating. This is huge.”
Jen raised a brow. “You bought her a phone?”
“Yeah.”
Alice leaned in. “Like... an actual smartphone? ”
“Yes.”
Agatha, sipping her wine, smirked. “y/n. Baby. Darling.”
“What?”
“You have to sext her.”
I choked on my drink. “ WHAT?! ”
Billy, perched on the armrest of the couch, grinned. “I second this.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head vehemently. “Absolutely not.”
Agatha leaned forward, eyes glinting with mischief. “You cannot waste this opportunity.”
Alice covered her face with her hands. “Oh my God.”
Jen nodded sagely. “Listen, you’ve been pining after this woman for weeks. This is your moment.”
I gaped at them. “I bought her a phone so she could schedule tarot readings, not so I could send her—” I cut myself off, flushing furiously. “No. Not happening.”
Agatha smirked. “y/n.”
“No.”
“y/n.”
I groaned. “Guys, she doesn’t even like me like that.”
Billy scoffed. “She’s calling you baby every five minutes.”
“That’s just how she talks!”
Agatha shook her head. “Trust me, if she wasn’t interested, she wouldn’t put up with your nonsense.”
I buried my face in my hands. “I hate all of you.”
Jen patted my back. “Just... test the waters. Send something flirty. Nothing too intense.”
“Like what?” I mumbled into my hands.
Billy grinned. “Something like ‘Hey, Lilia. Thinking about you. And also that tarot reading you owe me.’ ”
“That’s not sexting?” I arched my brow.
Agatha shrugged. “Baby steps, y/n. Baby steps.”
Alice, ever the voice of reason, chimed in. “Or you could, you know, just use the phone for its intended purpose.”
Agatha and Billy groaned in unison.
Jen smirked. “C’mon, y/n. You flirt with everyone else like it’s your day job. Why not just send a little something spicy?”
I shook my head furiously. “Absolutely not. I refuse.”
Agatha grinned wickedly. “Then hand me your phone.”
I snatched it away, glaring. “I will murder you.”
“Fine, fine,” Agatha said, leaning back with a sigh. “But mark my words, y/n, you will crack. And when you do, I expect details.”
I groaned, sinking deeper into the couch.
This was going to be a disaster.
Another morning, another shift, I found myself watching Lilia as she tapped away at her new phone with a surprising amount of focus. She was getting the hang of it faster than I’d expected, which only made me more nervous.
“Enjoying it?” I asked casually, leaning on the counter.
She glanced up, lips quirking. “It’s... useful.”
I smirked. “Told you so.”
Her eyes twinkled. “You’re quite persistent, baby.”
I swallowed hard. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it.
Lilia left not long after, saying something about running errands and warning me not to rearrange her “perfectly organised” bookshelves while she was gone. I rolled my eyes, but as soon as the bell above the door chimed, I let out a breath.
I was halfway through dusting the crystal ball display when my phone buzzed in my pocket. Expecting a message from one of the chaos gremlins I called friends, I pulled it out without thinking, only for my stomach to drop.
New message from Lilia Calderu:"This phone might be useful after all. You’ve made me quite... curious."
I stared at the screen, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Oh no,” I whispered.
I could practically hear Agatha’s voice in my head.
You cannot waste this opportunity.
I didn’t respond to Lilia’s text. Not right away, at least. I told myself it was because I was busy, sorting inventory, helping customers, thinking about her like a lovesick idiot, but really, it was because I had no idea what to say.
"You’ve made me quite... curious."
What did that mean? Was she flirting? Was she just being her usual enigmatic self? Or was I reading too much into a perfectly innocent text from a woman who probably thought Wi-Fi was some kind of mystical energy?
I shoved my phone back into my pocket and spent the rest of the day pretending it didn’t exist.
Later that night, I gathered the coven at my place, pacing my living room as I relayed the situation.
“So she texted that, and I didn’t reply,” I finished, waving my phone around like it was cursed. “I just left her on read. ”
Agatha groaned, throwing her head back dramatically. “y/n. y/n. ”
Billy gasped. “You ghosted her?”
“It’s not ghosting if it’s only been a few hours!” I argued. “I needed... I needed time. ”
Jen stared at me like I was the dumbest person alive. “To do what, exactly?”
“Panic!” I exclaimed, throwing myself onto the couch. “You don’t understand! I can flirt with anyone, anyone, but it’s Lilia. She’s... Lilia. ”
Alice, sitting beside me, patted my knee with sympathy. “We know, y/n. But if you don’t reply soon, you’re going to look weird.”
Agatha sat forward, pointing at me with a knowing smirk. “You need to sext her.”
“No!” I practically shouted, scrambling to sit up. “We are not sexting!”
Billy grinned. “You cannot miss this opportunity.”
Jen crossed her arms. “y/n. Babe. If you don’t flirt back, she’s going to think you’re not interested.”
I groaned. “I am interested. I’m just not... ready to send the big guns. ”
Agatha rolled her eyes. “Fine. We’ll start small. What’s something flirty but not too flirty?”
Billy snapped his fingers. “Tell her you were thinking about her.”
I stared. “I’m not texting that.”
Alice suggested gently, “Maybe something like... ‘What exactly are you curious about?’”
Jen nodded approvingly. “Oh, that’s good. Leaves it open-ended.”
Agatha smirked. “And suggestive.”
I pointed at Alice. “I like that one. Safe. Respectable.”
Billy huffed. “Boring.”
I took a deep breath, typing it out slowly.
Me: What exactly are you curious about?
I stared at the screen, hovering over the send button. “Okay, I sent it. Wait, no, I can’t.” I threw my phone to Alice. “You send it.”
Alice sighed but hit send. “Done.”
I buried my face in my hands. “I hate this. This is awful. Why do people do this?”
Agatha snickered. “Because it’s fun.”
A moment later, my phone buzzed, and the entire group froze.
Billy’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, she replied already?”
I snatched my phone, heart pounding.
Lilia: You, mostly.
Silence.
Then chaos.
I just stared at the screen in pure, unadulterated panic. “WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT?”
Agatha grinned like the devil herself. “You say... ‘Only mostly?’”
Alice nodded. “Yes. Play it cool.”
I nodded slowly, fingers trembling. “Okay... okay.” I typed the words, hesitated, then hit send.
A minute passed. Another buzz.
Lilia: You do tend to take up a lot of space.
Billy fell to the floor. “WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?”
Agatha cackled. “It means you’re living in her head rent-free. Y/n, if you don’t escalate this, I will.”
I groaned, pacing the room again. “Okay. Okay. I need to flirt back. How do I flirt back without looking desperate?”
Jen smirked. “You are desperate.”
Alice offered, “Maybe... ‘I hope I’m not too much trouble.’”
Agatha groaned. “Boring. Say, ‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’”
“I’m not pushing it, Agatha.”
Billy grinned. “Coward.”
I sighed, typing Alice’s suggestion.
Me: I hope I’m not too much trouble.
Another buzz.
Lilia: Not yet.
I screamed into a pillow.
Agatha raised her glass. “Ladies and gentlemen... we got her.”
The next morning, I walked into the shop with my heart pounding in my chest, expecting— hoping —for some sort of acknowledgment from Lilia. Maybe a sly smile, a lingering look, or even a teasing comment about our texts.
Instead, I got... nothing.
“Morning, y/n,” she greeted me in her usual warm but distant tone, barely glancing up from rearranging a set of tarot decks.
I blinked. “Uh, morning.”
She didn’t say anything else. No mention of the texts, no coy smile, no baby. Just business as usual.
I busied myself at the counter, sneaking glances at her whenever I could. And while she seemed to be going out of her way to act normal, something was different. She stood closer to me when we worked together, her hands occasionally brushing mine when I passed her something. She touched my arm when she needed me to move, her fingers lingering for just a second longer than necessary.
But she didn’t say anything about it.
Not a damn thing.
And to make things worse, she kept casually reminding me of just how much older she was.
“You wouldn’t remember,” she said with a small chuckle when I asked about an old book she was dusting off. “It’s before your time.”
When I mentioned a show I’d been watching, she waved it off with a smirk. “Oh, y/n, that’s so... modern. I remember when television didn’t have color. ”
And when I tripped over my words trying to ask her a question, she just gave me that small, infuriating smile and murmured, “Ah, youth.”
It was driving me insane.
That night, I gathered with the coven at Agatha’s, pacing the living room like a woman on the edge. “She’s driving me crazy, ” I groaned, throwing myself onto the couch dramatically.
Jen raised an eyebrow. “She didn’t mention the texts at all? ”
“Not even once! ” I threw my hands in the air. “It’s like they never happened! And yet she’s touching me more than ever, but at the same time, she keeps bringing up how ancient she is.”
Agatha smirked. “Ah, classic ‘I’m too old for you’ defense.”
Billy frowned. “Wait, you think she’s doing it on purpose?”
Alice nodded thoughtfully. “It sounds like she’s trying to create distance without actually pulling away.”
I groaned into a pillow. “So what does that mean? She’s interested but scared?”
Jen hummed. “Maybe. Or she could just be screwing with you.”
Agatha sipped her wine. “Or hear me out—she’s waiting for you to push past the age thing.”
I peeked out from the pillow. “Push past it how? ”
Billy grinned. “Flirt harder.”
I sat up. “I don’t think I can flirt harder, Billy.”
Agatha leaned in with a devilish grin. “Then you make her realise age doesn’t matter.”
Jen smirked. “And how exactly does she do that?”
Agatha’s eyes gleamed. “Confidence. You show her you’re mature, and that she’s the one wasting time over nothing.”
I frowned. “And if she’s genuinely not interested?”
Alice squeezed my hand. “Then at least you’ll know for sure.”
Billy nudged me. “Look, the way she texts you... she’s interested, y/n. No way she’s not.”
I sighed. “I just... I don’t want to push her if she’s uncomfortable.”
Agatha rolled her eyes. “y/n. She’s not uncomfortable. She’s hesitant. There’s a difference.”
Jen nodded. “You just need to show her that you’re serious, that you’re not some wide-eyed kid crushing on her.”
I groaned again. “So what do I do?”
Agatha grinned. “You step up your game. And I have just the plan.”
The shop was quiet this afternoon, the scent of incense curling through the air as I busied myself restocking the shelves. Lilia sat behind the counter, flipping through a book, her brow furrowed in quiet concentration. It was a peaceful kind of day until the bell above the door chimed, and I looked up, nearly dropping the stack of crystals in my hands.
I froze.
Standing in the doorway, looking just as poised and elegant as ever, was my ex.
“Oh my God,” I muttered under my breath.
She blinked, then smiled in genuine surprise. “y/n?”
Lilia glanced up at the exchange, her expression pleasantly neutral, though I noticed the way her fingers paused mid-page turn.
I forced a smile, setting down the crystals. “Hey! Wow, uh... what are you doing here?”
She laughed lightly, brushing a lock of dark hair behind her ear. “A friend of mine recommended this place. Said the tarot readings here were... life-changing. ”
Agatha, you absolute menace.
Before I could explain, Lilia stood, offering one of her usual polite smiles. “A friend of y/n’s?”
My ex turned to her, all charm and grace. “Oh no, dear,” she said with a small chuckle, resting a hand on the counter. “I’m her ex.”
Silence.
Absolute, deafening silence.
Lilia’s lips parted slightly, her eyes widening just a fraction before she masked it with a practiced blink. “Oh,” she said slowly, clearly recalibrating. “I see.” Her eyes flicked between us, and then, with an almost surgical precision, she added, “Aren’t you... a little old?”
I internally screamed.
My ex, to her credit, handled it with an amused smile. “It was perfectly legal, I assure you.”
Lilia’s gaze didn’t waver. “Hm.”
I coughed awkwardly, feeling my face heat. “We, uh... it was a while ago.”
Lilia didn’t respond, just continued observing me with that unreadable expression of hers, her hands resting lightly on the counter.
My ex gave me a lingering smile. “You look good, y/n. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, it has,” I said, shifting uncomfortably under Lilia’s silent gaze. “How have you been?”
“Busy,” she replied with a casual shrug. “But I won’t keep you, I just wanted to check the place out. It’s lovely. I’ll be sure to come back when I have time for a tarot reading.” She smiled politely at Lilia. “I see y/n’s in good hands.” She added.
Lilia’s lips twitched, but she only nodded. “Naturally.”
I was pretty sure I was sweating at this point. “Uh, yeah, well, good seeing you. Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will,” she said with a lingering smile before heading out the door with a soft chime of the bell.
The moment she was gone, I turned to Lilia, ready to explain but she was already facing away from me, carefully aligning a deck of tarot cards that didn’t need aligning.
Silence stretched between us, heavy and thick.
I cleared my throat. “Sooo... that happened.”
Lilia hummed noncommittally, her focus apparently glued to the cards in her hands. “Indeed.”
I shifted awkwardly. “You okay?”
She glanced at me, her expression perfectly composed but her eyes just a little too sharp. “I’m fine, baby.”
Baby. I nearly sighed in relief at the sound of it, but something about the way she said it, softer, more thoughtful made my stomach twist.
“You sure? You’re, uh... being quiet.”
She smiled faintly, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Just... thinking.”
I frowned, watching her closely. “About?”
She didn’t answer right away, instead carefully setting the tarot deck down before meeting my gaze. “I suppose I’m just... surprised.”
“Surprised?” I echoed.
Lilia tilted her head, her expression unreadable again. “You didn’t strike me as someone who dated... older women.”
I laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck. “Uh... surprise?”
Lilia studied me for a long moment, her lips pressing together like she was considering something. “I see.”
And then, without another word, she turned back to her work, and I was left standing there, feeling like I had somehow lost a game I didn’t even know we were playing.
By nightfall, I was back at Agatha’s, crashing onto her couch, groaning dramatically. “Agatha, you suck. ”
She grinned over her wine glass. “You’re welcome.”
Jen shook her head. “So let me get this straight, you saw your ex, Lilia found out, and now she’s acting weird? ”
“Weird,” I confirmed, running a hand through my hair. “She’s quiet. Too quiet. And she kept bringing up the age thing before, but now she’s, like, really leaning into it.”
Billy grinned. “So she’s jealous.”
I groaned. “I don’t know! She’s not saying anything. She’s just being all... introspective.”
Agatha smirked. “Oh, she’s spiraling.”
Alice gave me a sympathetic look. “Maybe she’s just processing. I mean, you’re younger, and she’s probably overthinking it.”
“She is overthinking it,” I muttered. “And I don’t know what to do!”
Jen sipped her drink. “You flirt with her more.”
Billy nodded. “Exactly. Show her age means nothing.”
I sighed. “I don’t know if I can just—”
Agatha cut me off. “y/n. Look at me.”
I looked.
“You are hot. You are charming. And you have successfully dated an older woman before. ”
I winced. “Thanks for the reminder.”
She grinned. “Lilia Calderu is not immune to you. Trust me. She’s just panicking because now she knows she’s not the first older woman you’ve been interested in.”
Alice chimed in gently, “She might have been telling herself the age thing was a reason not to get involved with you. And now? She’s realising it’s not a reason at all.”
I blinked. “You think?”
Agatha smirked. “I know. ”
Billy fist-pumped. “So, new plan?”
I sighed, staring at my phone, where Lilia’s name sat in my recent messages. “New plan,” I mumbled. “Step up the flirting.”
Agatha raised her glass. “To y/n’s romantic conquest!”
I groaned. This was going to be so much worse than the texting.
I walked into the shop with renewed determination. Last night’s pep talk with the coven had me feeling... well, mostly confident. At least confident enough to step up my game and make it clear to Lilia that the whole age thing? Not an issue. I had a plan, flirt, be charming, and maybe, just maybe , get her to acknowledge whatever was happening between us.
Except life, as usual, had other plans.
The moment I walked in, the shop was packed. A line of customers at the counter, others browsing the shelves, and Lilia, poised, composed, and completely absorbed in reading after reading.
I blinked. “Since when do we get this busy?”
She didn’t answer, of course. Lilia never spoke during a reading, but the way she glanced up at me before flipping over a card for the woman in front of her said enough.
I sighed, shoving my bag behind the counter.
After the reading, she finally looked up, smoothing her hands over the table. “It’s the full moon tomorrow. People are... searching.”
“Of course they are.”
So much for my grand seduction plan.
I tried, though. Between organising stock and ringing up sales, I threw in little comments. A brush of my hand here, a sly smile there. But Lilia? She was avoiding me like it was her new favorite hobby.
Every time I moved toward her, she shifted her attention to a customer. When I leaned against the counter, trying to catch her eye, she breezed past me with a murmured, “Excuse me, baby.”
And when I finally managed to get close enough to remind her about my plans, she barely registered it.
“Hey, don’t forget I have to leave early tomorrow,” I said, leaning in slightly. “Agatha’s art gallery thing, remember? I told you last week.”
Lilia, scanning a book title, nodded absently. “Mhm. That’s fine, baby.”
I frowned. “Lilia, Agatha will kill me if I miss it.”
Still no real reaction. “You’ll be fine.”
And just like that, she was gone again, moving to help another customer without a second glance.
I stared after her, utterly baffled. She was always attentive when I talked to her, always teasing or throwing in some cryptic comment to keep me on my toes. But today? Today, she was distant. Aloof. And it was driving me insane.
By the end of the day, I was ready to scream.
I stomped into Agatha’s that evening, slumping onto the couch in pure defeat. “She’s avoiding me.”
Agatha didn’t even look up from her wine. “Told you she’d spiral.”
Billy, sprawled on the floor with a tarot deck, flipped over a random card and smirked. “I predict that she’s freaking out.”
Jen raised an eyebrow. “You got all that from the cards?”
“No, I got that from common sense,” Billy said, grinning.
Alice offered me a sympathetic smile. “Maybe she’s just busy?”
I threw my hands in the air. “No, Alice. She’s strategically avoiding me. I tried everything today. Every time I got close, she found something else to do.”
Jen winced. “Ouch. So what’s the plan now?”
Agatha set down her wine, eyes gleaming. “Simple. You keep going.”
I groaned. “Agatha.”
“No, listen,” she insisted, sitting up. “If she’s avoiding you, that means she felt something yesterday. And now she’s panicking.”
Billy grinned. “So what you’re saying is... push harder?”
I sighed. “I told her I was leaving early for your thing tomorrow. She barely reacted.”
Agatha smirked. “Good. Because tomorrow, my dear y/n, she’s going to realise just how much she hates it when you’re not around.”
Alice smiled kindly. “Maybe a little space will make her see what she’s missing.”
I stared at the ceiling. “I hate all of you.”
Billy grinned. “We know.”
As soon as I stepped into the shop again, it felt like déjà vu. But thankfully today the shop was quiet. Not many customers, just the quiet hum of the incense burner. And, of course, Lilia still expertly dodging me like it was her life’s mission.
I tried to be casual about it, leaning on the counter and watching her pretend to be absorbed in inventory she’d probably memorised years ago. “Hey, mind if I use your place to get ready for Agatha’s thing later?” I asked, keeping my voice light.
She didn’t even look up, just nodded. “Of course. The spare key’s behind the counter.”
I resisted the urge to sigh. “Thanks.”
And just like that, she was back to pretending I didn’t exist.
I stared at her for a moment, resisting the urge to say something more, something to break through whatever walls she was so determined to put up. But instead, I just grabbed the spare key and headed into the back.
Lilia’s space was tucked behind the shop, a cozy, cluttered little place filled with books, candles, and an endless supply of robes draped over various furniture pieces. I didn’t think much of it as I changed into the dress Agatha had practically forced me to wear. The dress hugged every inch of me in all the right places, the deep shade accentuating my skin in a way that even I had to admit was... impressive.
I slipped on my heels, applied my red lipstick with a steady hand, and fixed my hair until it fell just right. I wasn’t trying to do anything, this was just getting ready for Agatha’s event but even I could admit I looked good.
With one last glance in the mirror, I grabbed my things and stepped back into the shop.
Lilia was standing behind the counter, flipping through a book, seemingly lost in thought. She didn’t look up at first.
And then she did.
I watched the reaction unfold in slow motion, the way her eyes lifted, trailing up from the hem of my dress to my legs, then higher, higher, until they reached my face. Then she looked down, as if to double-check what she’d just seen. And then— snap —right back up again, her head jerking so fast I swore she almost gave herself whiplash.
Her lips parted slightly, and for the first time ever, she said absolutely nothing.
I bit back a smile and walked over to the counter, heels clicking against the wooden floor, and held out the keys. “Thanks for letting me use your place.”
Lilia’s fingers closed around the keys, but she didn’t look away. Her dark eyes dragged over me again, slower this time, like she was trying to take it all in, maybe even commit it to memory.
There was something in the way she was looking at me, like she was working up the courage to say something. Her mouth opened slightly, and for a split second, I thought she might finally break her silence.
And then, right on cue, the door chimed.
“y/n, darling!” Agatha’s voice was as bright and smug as ever as she strolled in, wearing a knowing smile that only deepened when she saw the way Lilia was staring at me. “Look at you.”
Lilia’s gaze snapped away, and just like that, the moment was gone.
Agatha’s arm linked through mine, her grin positively feral as she turned to Lilia. “I’m stealing her for the night. Hope you don’t mind.”
Lilia finally spoke, her voice softer than usual. “Not at all.”
I turned to her with a small smile. “Bye, Lilia.”
She nodded, still looking at me like she wasn’t quite sure what to say. “Goodnight, baby.”
Agatha practically dragged me out of the shop, and as soon as the door shut behind us, she let out a low whistle.
“Holy shit, y/n.”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Yeah, yeah.”
“No, no, did you see her face?” Agatha cackled, practically vibrating with glee. “I think you just aged her a decade.”
I groaned. “She didn’t even say anything.”
Agatha rolled her eyes, starting the car. “Oh, honey, she didn’t need to. That woman was devouring you with her eyes.”
I bit my lip, staring out the window. “You think?”
“I know. ”
And honestly? I really, really hoped she was right.
The night with Agatha was exactly what I needed. I loved things like this, dressing up, feeling the buzz of conversation, the soft glow of lights reflecting off expensive paintings, and the effortless way I fit into it all. There was something about the atmosphere, about the way people looked at me, that made me feel alive. And, of course, Agatha basked in it too, sipping her wine with a smirk and throwing me knowing looks every time someone complimented my dress.
"You clean up dangerously well, darling," she whispered at one point, nudging me with her elbow. "No wonder Lilia nearly combusted."
I rolled my eyes but couldn't fight the heat creeping up my neck. "She didn't combust."
Agatha just grinned. "She will."
After the event wrapped up, Agatha, never one to let a good night end too soon, insisted on a celebratory gathering at her place. It didn't take much convincing—Billy, Jen, and Alice were already in, and honestly, I loved being around them. Nights like this were rare, and I soaked it in, lounging on Agatha’s plush couch with a glass of wine in hand while she dramatically recounted the events of the night.
"And then," Agatha said, eyes sparkling with mischief, "she walked out of that little back room, looking absolutely devastating, and I swear to you, Lilia nearly dropped dead. "
Jen gasped in delight. "Shut up. "
Billy, sprawled out on the floor with his arms behind his head, grinned. "I knew it. I knew she couldn’t handle it."
Alice, ever the voice of calm, smiled softly. "She really didn't say anything?"
I groaned, covering my face with my hands. "Not a word. She just... stared. "
Agatha smirked. "Stared? Honey, that woman was devouring you with her eyes."
Jen cackled. "So what’s the next move, y/n? Do we escalate?"
"I don't know!" I groaned. "She’s been weird all week, avoiding me, and now this? What does it even mean? "
Billy rolled onto his side. "It means she’s cracking."
"She’s definitely cracking," Jen agreed. "And if you play your cards right, she’ll snap soon enough."
I sighed, swirling my wine. "I don’t want to push her if she’s uncomfortable, though. If she’s really that caught up about the age thing—"
Agatha waved me off. "Oh, please. She’s not uncomfortable. She’s terrified. "
"Terrified?" I frowned.
"Terrified because she knows you could wreck her entire world, and she wouldn’t stand a chance." Agatha leaned in with a wicked smile. "And she likes being in control, doesn’t she?"
I opened my mouth to argue, but my phone buzzed, cutting through the conversation. My heart leapt into my throat.
I glanced down, and there it was.
Lilia: Let me know when you get home safe.
I stared at the screen, the words blurring slightly as my heart hammered against my ribs.
Billy sat up instantly. "Who is it?"
I swallowed hard. "Lilia."
The room erupted.
"Oh my God," Jen practically shrieked, grabbing my arm. "She texted you?! "
Agatha grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Oh, she’s gone. "
I blinked, staring at the message. "It’s just... she wants to make sure I’m okay."
Agatha snatched the phone from my hand, reading the message aloud in a dramatic tone. "Let me know when you get home safe." She gasped theatrically. "Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve entered the protective phase. "
I groaned, grabbing my phone back. "It’s not a big deal."
Jen poked me. "y/n. Babe. This is a huge deal. She’s thinking about you right now. She’s picturing you coming home, kicking off your heels, and—"
"Okay, that’s enough," I muttered, my face burning.
Billy smirked. "But seriously, what are you gonna say back?"
I stared at the message again, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. "I don’t know. What do I even say? "
Agatha leaned in with a devious grin. "Simple. ‘Wish you were here.’"
I shot her a glare. "I’m not sexting her."
Alice smiled. "You could just say, ‘I will, thanks for checking in.’ Casual, but lets her know you appreciate it."
Jen hummed. "Or... you could send a little something extra. Not too flirty, just enough to keep her thinking."
I sighed. "You guys are terrible influences."
Billy shrugged. "We know."
I rolled my eyes but typed out a response anyway.
Me: Thanks, Lilia. I will. You're sweet for checking in.
I hovered over the send button, heart racing, before pressing it.
The room watched in silent anticipation.
Billy grinned. "And now we wait."
I stared at my phone, willing it to buzz again. The coven had gone back to their usual antics. Billy was dramatically narrating the highlights of Agatha’s gallery event, Jen was critiquing the wine selection, and Agatha was lounging with a satisfied smirk, clearly pleased with her own meddling.
But me? I was glued to my screen, staring at Lilia’s last message like it held the secrets of the universe.
And then, finally, my phone buzzed.
Lilia: Please let me know if I need to send the police out.
I snorted, shaking my head. “She’s threatening to call the cops on me.”
Billy perked up. “That’s sexy.”
I sighed, typing out a response.
Me: I’m at Agatha’s, staying here tonight.
A moment later, another buzz.
Lilia: Good. Glad you’re safe.
I exhaled, a small smile tugging at my lips. But before I could even process it, another message popped up.
Lilia: How did the night go?
The coven erupted.
“Oh my God, ” Jen gasped, grabbing my arm. “She’s fishing. ”
“Grandma’s up past her bedtime, ” Agatha grinned, swirling her wine. “Probably already touching herself thinking about y/n and that red lipstick.”
I choked on my drink. “ Agatha! ”
Billy cackled, rolling onto his side. “I mean, she did see you in that dress. You think she just went to sleep after that? Hell no.”
Alice, blushing furiously, covered her face. “Oh my God, guys.”
I groaned, glaring at them. “Can you all not? She’s being nice, that’s all.”
Agatha smirked. “Sweetheart, people don’t stay up texting their employees at midnight just to be nice. ”
Jen waved a hand. “Yeah, no one’s buying that. She’s sitting at home, staring at her phone, probably replaying that double take she did when you walked out in that dress.”
Billy wagged his brows. “Lilia Calderu: palm reader by day, handsy old woman by night.”
I buried my face in my hands. “I hate all of you.”
Agatha grinned. “No, you love us. Now text her back. Be flirty, y/n.”
I peeked out from my hands. “What do I even say?”
Jen, ever the strategist, leaned in. “Keep it casual but suggestive. Something like, ‘It was good. Would’ve been better if you were there.’”
Billy gasped. “Yes, yes, YES.”
Alice shook her head. “That’s too much. Maybe just say, ‘It went well, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.’”
Agatha snorted. “Boring.”
I sighed, staring at my phone. “Fine. I’ll go with something... middle ground.”
I typed, biting my lip.
Me: It went well. I think I made an impression.
The coven leaned in, waiting as I hovered over the send button. I rolled my eyes and hit it.
We all stared at the screen, waiting.
My phone buzzed again.
Lilia: I have no doubt you did, baby.
I froze, and the coven lost it.
I swallowed hard, my fingers trembling over the keyboard. “I think I’m going to die.”
Agatha grinned. “Not before you sext her back. ”
I stared at my phone, heart hammering in my chest, Lilia’s message practically burning into my screen.
I turned to the coven, wide-eyed and completely at a loss. “What do I say? What do I say?! ”
Alice sighed. “Keep it playful. Like, ‘Good to know my reputation precedes me.’”
Agatha smirked. “Or—and hear me out—‘I leave a mark wherever I go... want me to leave my mark on you?’”
I groaned, grabbing my phone back. “You all suck.”
Billy grinned. “And yet you keep asking for our help.”
I rolled my eyes but typed anyway, fingers trembling just slightly.
Me: Good to know my reputation precedes me.
A collective sigh of satisfaction rippled through the group as I hit send.
We all stared at the screen again. Silence. Then...
Lilia: It does. Quite the reputation, indeed.
Jen gasped. “OH. MY. GOD. ”
Agatha laughed, draping herself dramatically over the couch. “y/n, darling, you are killing her.”
I couldn’t fight the smile stretching across my lips, warmth spreading through me.
Alice giggled. “This is so cute.”
Billy nodded sagely. “It’s not cute, Alice. It’s sexy. ”
We kept chatting for a while longer, Agatha tossing out increasingly absurd suggestions that I shot down one by one, and eventually, we all crashed, smiles on our faces, hearts full, and just enough teasing to ensure I wouldn’t get a moment’s peace tomorrow.
It was so fucking early. Too early. The kind of early that felt like a personal attack.
I woke up to the sharp smell of coffee and the unmistakable sound of Billy and Jen bickering, their voices cutting through the dawn like they had no concept of time—or mercy. My brain protested every second of consciousness, but I managed to peel myself off the couch, blinking blearily.
After some groggy, half-conscious hugs and a round of mumbled promises to update each other, we all stumbled our separate ways, the world outside still drenched in that unsettling, pre-sunrise gloom.
And then... I was home. Alone.
And I was bored.
I wasn’t at the shop today, which meant I had absolutely no distractions. No tarot cards to organise, no shelves to restock, and, most importantly, no Lilia. I found myself pacing my apartment, debating whether it would be too much to text her again, but the thought made me cringe.
I needed an excuse. Something casual.
I chewed my lip, glancing at my keys. And then it hit me.
Lilia loved this little Italian pastry place across town, she mentioned it once in passing, some small hole-in-the-wall bakery that she claimed made the best sfogliatelle she’d had since leaving Sicily.
Before I could overthink it, I grabbed my coat and drove across town.
By the time I reached the shop, the Closed sign was still hanging on the door. It was early, too early for the shop to be open yet, but I knocked anyway, clutching the warm box of pastries in my hands.
A few seconds passed, and then the door creaked open.
Lilia stood there in a robe— a robe.
A silky, deep burgundy robe that clung to her in ways that made my brain short-circuit. Her dark curls were loose, tumbling over her shoulders, and she looked... soft. Sleepy.
And I was the one speechless now.
“y/n?” she murmured, brow furrowing in confusion.
I swallowed hard, trying to remember how to form words. “Uh... I brought breakfast.” I held up the box like an offering, as if that explained why I was standing outside her shop at an ungodly hour.
She stared at me for a beat, then at the pastries, and then back at me. Without a word, she stepped aside, opening the door wider.
I stepped inside, the familiar scent of the shop mingling with the faint, warm scent of her.
Lilia gestured to the small table in the corner where we usually sat with tea. “Sit,” she said softly, closing the door behind me.
I obeyed, setting the pastries down as she disappeared into the back for a moment. When she returned, she had two mugs of coffee in hand, sliding one across the table to me.
“Thought you had today off,” she said, finally breaking the silence.
I shrugged, unboxing the pastries. “I do. I just... thought you’d like these.”
Her lips twitched. “From my favorite place?”
I grinned. “I listen.”
She picked up one of the pastries, inspecting it like she was deciding if I’d done a good job. Then she took a bite, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “You really do listen.”
I laughed softly, watching her. “So, how’d the shop do without me yesterday?”
Lilia smirked. “It survived.”
We ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes, the tension from the night before melting into something more familiar. She asked about the gallery, my friends, the art. I told her about Billy’s ridiculous art commentary and Agatha’s smug satisfaction.
“You have good friends,” she said after a while, stirring her coffee thoughtfully.
“They’re the best,” I agreed, smiling.
She sipped her coffee, watching me over the rim of the mug with those dark, knowing eyes. “And they care about you... a lot.”
I shrugged. “I care about them too.”
Something flickered in her expression, but before I could ask, she glanced at the clock and sighed. “You should probably head back before they start wondering where you are.”
I pouted. “Are you kicking me out?”
Her lips twitched. “I’m saying your fan club will miss you.”
I rolled my eyes, taking the hint, and stood to gather my things. “Fine, fine. I’ll let you get ready to open.”
Lilia smirked, walking me to the door. “Smart choice, baby.”
I paused in the doorway, turning to her. “Thanks for letting me crash your morning.”
She leaned against the doorframe, her gaze soft but unreadable. “Anytime.”
I left with a flutter in my chest, already thinking about what excuse I could come up with to see her again.
The evening was quiet, just me and the soft hum of the TV filling the apartment. I was curled up on the couch, half-watching some crime drama, the kind where the detectives always figure things out way too fast. My mind kept drifting back to this morning, Lilia in that robe, the way she’d looked at me, the way her lips had curled around the edge of her coffee cup like she was considering something she wouldn’t say out loud.
I sighed, sinking deeper into the cushions, telling myself to stop overthinking.
And then my phone buzzed.
I glanced at the screen, expecting a text from one of the coven, but my brows furrowed at the sender.
Lilia Calderu.
I sat up a little straighter, unlocking my phone.
The message? Absolute gibberish.
“fhbgggjkkjj”
I blinked.
I stared at it.
I blinked again.
I typed back quickly.
Me: Lilia? Everything okay?
No response.
I stared at my phone, waiting.
Still nothing.
I chewed on my lip, debating if I should call her, when—
RING.
I nearly dropped the phone as Lilia’s name flashed across the screen.
I fumbled to answer, pressing it to my ear. “Lilia?”
Nothing. Just... breathing.
Shaky, uneven breathing.
And then—
A whimper.
My entire body froze.
Another sound, soft and needy, and—
A low, drawn-out moan.
I choked on air, clutching the phone so tightly my knuckles turned white. My mouth went completely dry.
There was no mistaking what I was hearing. No way.
I opened my mouth to say something— anything —but before I could, the line went dead.
I stared at the phone like it had just burst into flames in my hand.
“No. No way,” I whispered to myself, blinking rapidly.
This... this had to be an accident. Maybe she sat on her phone? Maybe—maybe she was watching a... video or something? Yeah, I thought, nodding to myself. That makes sense. Probably just a mistake.
A completely innocent, totally not deliberate mistake.
My phone stayed silent in my hands, and I sat there for about 20 minutes, just processing.
And then my phone buzzed again.
Lilia: Ignore that.
I gawked at the screen.
Ignore that?
Like it was just some minor inconvenience?
My fingers trembled as I typed back.
Me: …Okay?
There was a long pause.
Then, finally—
Lilia: Goodnight, baby.
I groaned, falling back against the couch, covering my face with my hands.
“She’s going to kill me.”
I barely slept that night. Every time I closed my eyes, I heard it, the soft whimper, the breathy moan, the way the call cut off before I could even process what was happening. My mind replayed it over and over, dissecting every second until I convinced myself it had to be a mistake.
Lilia had to have accidentally pocket dialed me. There was no way she’d do something like that on purpose. Right?
By the time morning rolled around, I was a mess, over-caffeinated, under-rested, and dreading what was going to happen when I walked into the shop.
I took a deep breath before pushing the door open, bracing myself for something, anything awkwardness, a comment, maybe even a cryptic remark about phones.
But when I walked in, Lilia was already behind the counter, counting the till like nothing had happened.
“Morning, y/n,” she said casually, not even looking up.
I froze for a second. “Uh... morning.”
She glanced up, arching a brow at my hesitation. “Are you alright?”
I stared at her, searching for any hint of discomfort or amusement anything that would give away the fact that she absolutely knew what she did last night. But she just looked... normal. Unbothered. As if she hadn’t called me in the middle of the night and—
I cleared my throat, forcing a smile. “Yeah. Just... didn’t sleep well.”
Lilia hummed knowingly. “Ah, too much excitement from your art gala adventure the previous night?”
I blinked. Was that... was that a dig? I couldn't tell.
“Something like that,” I muttered, setting my bag down behind the counter.
She straightened up and gave me one of her usual, polite smiles. “I need you to organise the crystal display today. People keep moving things around, and it’s driving me crazy.”
I stared at her, waiting for something, some sly comment, some subtle hint that she knew.
Nothing.
She just handed me a cloth and gestured toward the shelves like it was any other day.
I nodded slowly, taking it from her. “Sure. I can do that.”
Lilia’s lips quirked, and she patted my shoulder lightly. “Good girl.”
The words slipped from Lilia’s lips like they meant nothing, like they weren’t currently wreaking absolute havoc on my nervous system.
I gripped the cloth in my hands so tight I was surprised it didn’t disintegrate. My entire body was in overdrive, my brain short-circuiting in real-time, because after last night, after hearing that noise, after spending all night dissecting it from every possible angle, there was no way I could process her saying that without losing my mind.
And yet, Lilia carried on like she hadn’t just set me on fire.
She hummed to herself as she floated across the shop, rearranging candles with her usual air of elegant chaos, soft, sophisticated, yet somehow still completely kooky. She muttered something under her breath about “people putting things in the wrong places” and shot the candles a scolding look, as if they were responsible.
Meanwhile, I stood there, trying to act like my entire worldview hadn’t shifted overnight.
She didn’t know. She couldn’t know.
There was no way she had butt-dialled me on purpose, right? No way she knew what I’d heard. But what if she suspected? What if she was saying things like good girl just to watch me unravel? Was I unraveling? It definitely felt like I was unraveling.
“You’re awfully quiet.”
Lilia’s voice cut through my spiralling thoughts, and I nearly jumped, clutching the cloth like it was a lifeline.
“I’m—I'm fine,” I croaked, too fast, too awkward.
She glanced at me with a raised brow, then tilted her head, curls slipping over her shoulder in that careless, elegant way she always managed. “Mm.” Her lips quirked, amused but not prying, yet. “If you say so.”
I nodded too quickly, ducking my head and wiping the same spot on the shelf three times. Play it cool. Play it cool. She doesn’t know.
Lilia, completely oblivious to the chaos in my head, twirled one of her rings around her finger absentmindedly, watching me with a curious little smile. “You really didn’t sleep well, did you?”
I froze. Oh god. “What makes you say that?”
She shrugged, returning to fussing with the display, adjusting a vase by a fraction of an inch before stepping back with a satisfied nod. “You’ve got that look.”
“What look?” I tried to keep my voice casual, but I was fairly sure I sounded like I was moments away from combusting.
Lilia turned, resting her elbows on the counter and watching me with a thoughtful expression. “The same one you get when you’re overthinking things. Your brow does this little... crinkle.”
My hand shot up to my forehead instinctively. “It does not.”
Her lips twitched. “Oh, it does.”
I groaned under my breath, focusing aggressively on the shelf in front of me. “It’s nothing. Just... a long night.”
She hummed knowingly. “Ah, still recovering from the art gala. I imagine it was... stimulating. Those events tend to linger, don’t they.”
I choked. “What?”
Lilia blinked, completely innocent. “The art. Your friends.” She paused. “The drinks?”
I stared at her, searching for even the tiniest flicker of something, anything , that might indicate she was toying with me. But she just looked... normal. Perfectly composed. Like she hadn’t called me in the middle of the night and—
I swallowed hard, nodding. “Yeah. Stimulating.”
Lilia tilted her head, eyes twinkling. “You’re acting strange.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.” She leaned a little closer, lowering her voice conspiratorially. “Are you in trouble? Did you get up to mischief?”
My entire existence was mischief at this point. “No.”
Lilia pursed her lips, clearly not convinced, but she didn’t press. Instead, she gently adjusted the sleeve of her robe, glancing at the clock. “Well, whatever it is, baby, I’m sure it’ll sort itself out.”
There it was again. Baby. My knees nearly gave out.
I swallowed hard, gripping the edge of the shelf. Focus.
To make things worse, she strolled over, close enough that I could smell the faint scent of her, something warm, a little floral, a little spicy, something that was so Lilia it made my head spin. She picked up a crystal from the display I was supposed to be fixing and turned it over in her hands.
“This one’s nice,” she mused, running her fingers along the edges. Then, without missing a beat, she handed it to me. “For stress.”
I blinked. “I’m not stressed.”
She smiled, and it was the kind of smile that said she knew I was lying through my teeth. “Of course not.”
I took the crystal anyway, staring at it like it might offer me some divine clarity.
Lilia lingered for a moment longer, then gave a satisfied nod. “Well, I’m off to pretend I’m being productive in the back. Call if you need me.”
I watched her disappear behind the curtain, releasing the breath I didn’t realise I was holding. The second she was out of sight, I dropped my head onto the counter and groaned into my arms.
What the hell was I supposed to do with this?
She didn’t know.
And yet, somehow, it felt like she was winning a game I didn’t even know we were playing.
I sighed, rolling the crystal in my palm, muttering under my breath. “Progress. It’s progress.”
Because she wasn’t avoiding me. And if this was how she wanted to play it?
HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY
holy shit, just got home, and there's thousands of messages from people asking how they can download this since I posted this morning (!?!)
guys I've done a super rushed submission to spotify and apple music on the off chance this somehow accidentally slips past their profanity filters (unlikely but would be hilarious if it does)
But god this cannot go viral. Please don't make this my legacy guys. Imagine having to explain this one to my grandparents.
Also because so many people have been asking It's also on Youtube until they inevitably nuke it from existence, or you can just download it straight from tumblr
Sorry I haven't gotten to all your very kind DMs but, yes yes yes you absolutely can play this at your club, drag show, or even more than one of you have asked if its okay to play it at your wedding. Please for all that is holy, send video if you do.
We weren't gonna reblog, because well *gestures*, but then you said you didn't want this to become your legacy and as an Australian it's therefore our sworn duty to ensure it absolutely 100% does.
Also the song slaps.
(Big language warning, in case the big word 'slur' wasn't a dead giveaway)
no such thing as wasting your 20s your 20s are for recovering from whatever the fuck happened to you as a kid so that youre ready to get weird with it in your 30s
While your English professor is helping you with your essay, your pen falls under her desk. The department head chooses that moment for an impromptu meeting and you're stuck under the desk until the meeting is over. Luckily, there's a way to pass the time.
Please, I beg, can someone gif the moment in AAA ep 2 when Lilia’s magic flashes over her fist? When Agatha is trying to get them to blast her? It’s really subtle and brief but I love the little detail
this part is so hot 😫
(I tried but @end0r4 can definitely do it better)
Sarah Paulson Fan @sarahpaulsonsoftie - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
