I am Jon. And other things.

I sometimes woof and I sometimes yawn. There will be beards and cocks and bellies and little else.

[sardonicjay]

Lesson 1: The use of filters to make yourself look half decent when you're actually rancid and knackered.

[sardonicjay]

I've got a fairly rancid cold. Usually, pseudoephedrine sorts out my nose (the most insufferable part of being ill for me) enough that I can feel and look human. It's barely doing a thing this time.

I'm meant to have my second date-ish-thing with a very pretty man tomorrow. He sent me a text telling me he'd be wearing a suit as he was coming from a job interview (unf) and that he needs to be dominated (unffffffffffff) but here I am looking like some abomination and breathing like Darth Vader. That's not unf.

[sardonicjay]

"Know what'd be cool? Modding Morrowind to play the Sailor Moon theme as its battle music". I don't deserve to live.

[sardonicjay]

Combination of too much curry and Star Trek TNG. And a headache.

[sardonicjay]

Hornover.

That's all.

[sardonicjay]

I had beer! Taken by leifr.

[sardonicjay]

I was bored so I wanked myself off with a sleeve toy. True story.

  A less tumblr+gif bastardised version (49s, higher quality, sound, straight from my phone) is here for your viewing pleasure. It's also over here on xtube.

[ceejofmalta]

This sexy fat boy. 

[sardonicjay]

sweet mercy I'm in love <3

[sardonicjay]

I was feeling pretty good after the gym, ergo selfie.

[sardonicjay]

I've been away from tumblr for a few days so... Have a photo. I have a triangle of spots above my left eyebrow. Pray for me.

[sardonicjay]

"Wow.. sexy men are hot".

Other insightful and philosophical thoughts are available in my brain.

[sardonicjay]

Friend: "How can you be so angry all the time?"

Me: "How can you not be?"

[sardonicjay]

Me, in my natural state.

[sardonicjay]

My current New Vegas character. I like her.

I had to rob 5 houses to find that dress.

[sardonicjay]

Have one of my favourite songs, with a video that is just bizarrely entertaining.

[sardonicjay]

No, not at all, Face Herpes! I'm totally fine with you showing up to the party unexpectedly.

*submerges in a vat of acyclovir*.

[sardonicjay]

Phenoxymethylpenicillin is frickin' wonderful.

That's all.