please excuse my dear aunt sally

hanna she/her my hobbies include sleep, plants, dogs, fine cheeses, and weed

[sexhaver]

my favorite r/researchchemicals post was one where OP was like "oh my god guys do NOT do etizolam, i just regained consciousness after a full WEEK and have been told i was going to my job the entire time like everything was normal" and then someone asked what his job was and he said he operates an industrial crane at a shipping dock

[depsidase]

[angelicguy]

the fucking gorilla glue logo looks like an ad for gorillas. it has nothing to do with glue

[sandmandaddy69]

[duckdotcom]

i walk into the confession booth shaking and trying not to cry and then 5 minutes later i walk out with a full plate of spaghetti

[bakuraryxu]

utterly obsessed with this bubble tea place

[detectivehole]

what do you do in your free time?

freeze in place until i'm within render distance

[powerbottombrucespringsteen]

“Who yells?” Is unquestionably the best broad city line i think about it every time someone raises their voice even slightly

[tropiyas]

the two quarterbacks will ceremoniously kiss at the end of the game to signify the end of the superbowl and the beginning of valentine's day

[depsidase]

[grox]

Dude I had a dream where a wizard like appeared and summoned a little goblin friend for me and I screamed YES so loud it woke me up

[guerrillatech]

[an-autistic-with-personhood]

[synebluetoo]

Why would you hide that in the notes

[depsidase]

[sexhaver]

im going to keep screenshotting these ads until you let me reblog them @staff

[leannihilation-deactivated20230]

I do wholeheartedly believe Wes Anderson is a sick sick freak. I like his movies but I definitely think this guy has like a hidden room in his spacious french apartment that he slips into quietly each night and it is just filled with tiny little doll replicas of all the actors he's ever used in any of his movies and he puppets them around and mimicks their voices and shit. and sometimes he'll text Owen Wilson pictures of his little doll with a comb or something from an untraceable number and pair it with like "see how I take care of you Owen?" and then the following day Owen Wilson will find him at the service table and go, "Geez Wes look at this," and Wes will pretend to be all concerned and horrified but there is this calculating almost eager look in his eyes that unsettles Owen Wilson. and the next time Wes is having a little soiree with all his actors, his beloved beloved actors, maybe Owen Wilson will accidentally get lost on his way to the beautiful bathroom and find that little room and see all those dolls and his throat will hitch with horror. And before he can call Bill Murray or Adrian Brody to look a dark silhouette will appear in the doorway and Wes looks sort of resigned when he says, "I see you finally found my secret, Owen," and Owen Wilson will try and pretend that he's fine with it but they both know better. and Wes will go (the look in his eyes back again) "We both know this can't get out, right?" and he'll grin very suddenly and Owen Wilson will laugh along very nervously and leave the room and eat some brioche and when the evening is over he will rush over to his Prius and frantically click his keys but over the cobbles on the beautiful beautiful street there is the sound of footsteps. and tears are running down Owen Wilson's cheeks but he can't say a word and Wes, emerging from the shadows, will gently touch him on the shoulder and say, "look, I'll drive you to the airport, huh?" and Owen Wilson will try to refuse but they both know it's futile. and, halfway through the drive, Wes Anderson will smile and say, "I'll miss working with you" and then perfectly jump and roll out of the car, wiping off his corduroy pants, while Owen Wilson's Prius swerves into a local patisserie, bursting into flames

[wormspeddler]

homophobic cavemen be like.... no unga but.. he kinda bunga

[unclefather]