Itachi’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki
Nobody eats until you come out and eat with us 😤
Thank you! You’re the only one who even noticed 💙
You need to do a better job of hiding that kitten lol it pushed open your door and walked down the hallway again
Of course! You know where I keep it you don’t even have to ask 😊
I know I’ve spoken to Nagato about them he’ll handle it
You have GOT to come try this new massage chair I got it’s heaven 😌
Come on I was just kidding!!
Please call him off if he bites off my hand again Sasori said he won’t replace it 😔
Sharingan is not art it’s dirty cheating
The counter is covered with plates of eggs, did you do that weird sleepwalking thing again?!
Me and Hidan and maybe Tobi. Come on take the stick out of your ass and just come with us!
I’ll paint them if you braid my hair first.
Why do you always blame me?? Hidan probably took it!
Omfg I SWEAR I meant that for Sasori!! 😳 Please please don’t show Kisame he’ll kill me 😫
He’s just so emotional is that an Uchiha trait?
I can literally smell your exhaustion you need to go and rest
Yeah very cute. Be a shame if someone ate it 👀
He was doing fine. Got a lot taller. Looks a lot like you in the face.
No I’m glad you made him leave that dude freaked even ME out 😵💫
Can I borrow your face cream? This mask makes my skin itch like crazy!
God stop it man are you TRYING to speed up going blind?!
Would he take your last name or would you take his? 🤔
No. Never. They think I’m a dumbass, remember?
Little more time in the sun would probably help 🤷🏻♂️
“Crushes” are for little kids. And anyway he hates me 😔
I thought about that yeah. Reminded me of your mom’s. She always made the best ones.
I’m not sure of anything kid. But we’re in it too far to back out.
Idk you just looked super pale
Ask Sasori to make you more, they’re helping a little
Idc what Zetsu says. I can do a lotta shit but cannibalism isn’t one of them 🤢
You think I didn’t see you sneak in that pie? Either share or I’m telling Kisame.
Come and join Konan and I for tea. We’ve got a new blend we think you’ll like.
Permission granted. Just be back within three days, I’ll be sending you two on a mission then.
Thank you for the tips. My eyes feel much better now.
Take your time reading it. When you finish I’d love to discuss some of the themes with you.
I know you dislike meat but perhaps a bit more protein might help improve your stamina.
I don’t mind but do not let Kakuzu see it.
Movies with me and blondie?
Yeah but he’s half-animal right? Still counts, pervert.
PLEASE make the splinters in the ass joke PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU😭😭😭
If I didn’t take a piece you would have ate the whole fucking thing yourself and your stomach would burst. You’re welcome 😊
No that was definitely Deidara’s gay ass
Mask boy’s looking for you
Oh right like Kisame wouldn’t beat my ass for that 🙄 Nice try asshole
God damn it’s 3am when the FUCK do you sleep?!
We’re not “plotting” anything just come with ffs 🤦♂️
It was an accident and I didn’t even look that long don’t tell her she’ll slice me up with that sharp-ass paper 😖
You always being on time with your rent is most appreciated.
To be honest I don’t really know. But at this point I’m too far into my feelings for him so this is my life now.
Getting enough sleep is important. Nagato agrees that a new mattress would be in your best interests. No arguments.
I’ve ripped off his leg and made it clear it won’t be returned until he returns your property to you.
I’ll consult with Sasori and get back to you.
Konan is insisting everyone text you to come down to eat. It’s my turn. Be advised that continued delay will result in one or more of us coming and retrieving you by force.
Please inform me right away if you notice any adverse side effects. I may need to change the medication or adjust the dosage.
Oh, thank you for reminding me. I wouldn’t want a repeat of last year. What sort of gift do you think I should give him?
You’re more than welcome to anytime. You know I don’t sleep.
Finding the correct body is the most difficult part. All that follows is merely routine.
He can be very sensitive. I’m still learning to decipher and appropriately react to his emotions.
May I borrow that book when you’ve finished it?
Heh. That’s actually very funny.
Try not to overdo it. Your chakra levels still haven’t recovered from the last time.
You may want to hurry back. Zetsu has been circling outside your door like an animal and trying to sniff under it. That lock may not hold.
You remembered your meds today right?
Yeah? I bet I could work out that tension 😏
Cake is not acceptable for every meal, Itachi.
I got a new blanket, very soft. Come test it out with me 💙
I’ll talk to him about it don’t worry.
For God’s sake just TAKE A NAP!
Have fun but watch your back, I don’t trust those two.
Pretty warm out tonight. Midnight swim later? 😏
You left your necklace on my dresser
Leave it there. You’ve already got one illicit pet you don’t need a second.
I’m cooking, you’re eating. No objections.
My hands are craving being in your hair 😔
I did not eat him. Zetsu is a liar.
You got any more pics like that? Please? 👀
