devil's playground

BEFORE I DO ANYTHING, I ASK MYSELF: ❛ would the detective do that? ❜ AND IF THE ANSWER IS YES, I DO THE THING, UNLESS IT'S INCREDIBLY BORING.

[satancursed]

@glitchyluv still won’t let me have a raptor au and it’s not fair

[satancursed]

//js but like, your canon isn’t other people’s canon, so if you don’t like someone’s portrayal, before getting on your high horse about it maybe consider whether or not they’re working in a different canon?

like gonna say outright that my muse? canonly died twice for a human. that’s canon. you may think it’s “ridiculous and as sensible as dying for a pet” (which side note is frankly pretentious of you because i love my cat and damn skippy i’d take a bullet for the stupid furball), but it happened and it’ll probably happen again because, well. i’m working off a different canon than you are, buttercup. and even if i wasn’t it’s my muse, and i’ll write him how i interpret him within canon/how he resonates with me, not how you demand i write him.

[satancursed]

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[satancursed]

Au Lucifer can turn into a velociraptor at will Raptor Satan

[satancursed]

glitchyluv‌:

the flush on percy’s cheeks was unmistakable. how easily flustered she got, and her gaze averted shyly. “we’d have to find a babysitter,” percy remarked. going out these days with a four year old in the home was… difficult. 

“My demon Mazikeen could watch the child for you. She has experience now, she’s quite good with the urchins.”

“Lucifer.” Dmitri leaned out of the kitchen, hands covered in flour as he shot the devil an annoyed look. “Stop hitting on my wife.”

“Ah, Deadlock! Hello. Didn’t realize you were in. Still not interested in a threesome? Or a foursome, now I suppose. Wouldn’t want to leave the detective out--no? Alright then. If you insist.” He smirked, stepped back from the counter slightly at the look from the other man. “Anyhow, my business is done now that I’ve made my purchase. I’ll just take my card and go, shall I?”

[satancursed]

glitchyluv‌:

“oh, sure. not a problem,” percy murmured, texting the address to their delivery driver. while her husband dealt in mafia, their actual bakery employees weren’t typically a part of that. specifically for this reason. 

actually… percy wondered if lucifer knew about her husband’s… less than moral career. 

“oh- thank you! yes, our daughter.” spawn…? 

“Excellent!” Oh, he definitely knew. “You should come to Lux sometime, hm? Bring your husband along. Pretty woman like you should definitely enjoy herself with drinks and dancing. On the house!”

[satancursed]

@lightbringer replied to your post: “All of you are uninvited to my wedding.”

amenadiel vc: real mature, luci. real mature.

Squint. Don't you patronize me, Amendy.

[satancursed]

“All of you are uninvited to my wedding.”

[satancursed]

“That’s it, I’m calling father.”

[satancursed]

glitchyluv‌:

I AM A FULLY GROWN WOMAN, YOU CAN’T ADOPT ME AND HE’S NOT MY BROTHER.

THAT DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T ADOPT YOU. HE’S YOUR BROTHER NOW. STOP LUSTING.

[satancursed]

glitchyluv‌:

all the cakes. all the cakes. well, they would have to do delivery- since percy couldn’t feasibly carry them all out to… wherever lucifer wanted the cakes to go. 

percy chose not to acknowledge the comment about a detective and what her husband said. he’s always been one to brag. even when she told him not to. 

“ah… yes, of course. let me just ring you up and i’ll have one of our delivery guys bring it. where do you want it sent to?” 

“Local LAPD station, here’s the address.” He scribbled it down, sliding the paper across the counter alongside his credit card with a smile. “Your delivery guy will have to submit to a quick inspection--they’re not too fond of unknown deliveries and what not, but I’ll let them know to expect him so he isn’t held up too long. I’m treating everyone today since I’m in such a good mood! In fact--” He leaned over, tapping the case. “Why don’t you add a pair of those chocolate cupcakes to my order? One for you and your daughter. Or was it a son? I don’t remember, but still! One for you and your spawn, my treat!”

[mothsmuses]

amenadiel is STUNNING, LUCIFER 

[satancursed]

I’VE ADOPTED YOU, HE’S YOUR BROTHER NOW. STOP LISTING OVER YOUR BROTHER, ELLA.

[satancursed]

glitchyluv‌:

“then sit down.” 

“I won’t sit for it either”

[satancursed]

“I will not stand for this!”

[mothsmuses]

“Percy!” Hello, here’s unexpected devil man in your husband’s bakery. “Darling! I’ve heard so much about you. I’m Lucifer.” – @satancursed​

dmitri made it a point not to involve percy in his business. keep her and cici out of the danger by not speaking about it. so when lucifer morningstar stepped into the bakery, she nearly dropped a box she was holding. 

“i– oh, you have? from… who?” 

[satancursed]

“Your husband of course!” He peered into the case of cakes, humming thoughtfully as he studied them. “He likes to tell me about his wife and how she’s so much better than my detective. I’ll admit he has something going for himself here!”

Lucifer pulled his wallet free. “I’d like all the cakes in this case, please. Do you do delivery?”

[satancursed]

.

[satancursed]

compatiissante‌:

“wait, are you serious? you’d— you’d do that for me?”  not that you probably could buy a whole new dad, or anything, but the fact that he was willing to do that threw her for a loop.

“Yes?” He’s confused, what part of this not really anything relationship ever implied he would not drop thousands of dollars on a new dad without hesitation?

“You clearly need a better parent, and I have the money for it.”