Nina Zenik's Wife

Ez, she/her, 💖💜💙, lover of books instagram: @_crowsbeforehoes_

[satisfiedbiscuit]

*During a fight*

Inej: Jesper, why do you keep clapping after shooting someone?

Jesper: I'm high fiving myself!

Nina: Well that's an idea almost better than waffles.

Kaz: *Disappointed*

[satisfiedbiscuit]

I'm really excited for the new S&B show but then that means that there will be people joining the fandom for the show and not the books. and like that kinda makes me mad but maybe the show will encourage more people to read the books so idk jsgskshsksj

[satisfiedbiscuit]

I would just like to say one thing:

if any of the crows stepped on me, I would thank them.

Thank you for listening.

[satisfiedbiscuit]

Not sure how to subtly tell your crush that you're into them?

Look no further than here!

According to Kaz Brekker you need to call them an investment™

This method is a sure way to drop a hint to your crush!

[satisfiedbiscuit]

nobody:

me: hi I would like to take this time to say that Nina Zenik is my wife and she's amazing I love her

[satisfiedbiscuit]

Kuwei: *eating a kiwi*

Nina: *gasps dramatically* CANNIBALISM!!!

( cannibalism solves everything - @kaz-leg-brekker )

Have a problem? CANNIBALISM

[satisfiedbiscuit]

Wylan: I wonder how it feels to get rejected by your crush *glares at Kuwei*

Kuwei: I wonder what it feels like to watch your crush kiss someone else right in front of you

Wylan: *goes and kisses Jesper* There, now you know how it feels B I T C H

[satisfiedbiscuit]

The Crows' Alternate Shipnames

Pt. 1: Wesper

First names:

Jylan, Weslan, Jeslan, Jyper, Wyper, Jelan, Jespan, Wysper, Wyler, Jesan, Jysper, Jyler, Welan, Wespan, Wesan, Jespern, Wespern

Last names:

Van Fahey, Van heck, Fan Eck, Fahey Eck, Van Feck, Fanhey, Faheck, Vahey, Vanhey, Heyeck, Van Fack, Fan Heyeck, Feck

What the Van heck did I just do???

[satisfiedbiscuit]

*when Jesper first meets Kaz*

Jesper: Kaz? Is that short for Kazoo?

Kaz: *is not impressed*

Jesper: *fingerguns*

[satisfiedbiscuit]

Nina: You must be Jurda Parem cause I'm so addicted to you

Matthias: Nina nO

Nina: Nina yES

[satisfiedbiscuit]

The Crows as Pickup Lines

Kaz: Are you a thief? Cause you just stole my heart

Inej: Are you a knife? Cause you're looking sharp

Jesper: Are my pearl-handled revolvers? Cause I never want to part with you

Wylan: Are you a bomb? Cause I can see you blowing my mind (among other things)

Nina: Are you a heartrender? Cause my heart speeds up whenever I'm near you

Matthias: Are you Djel? Cause I'll gladly worship you

Kuwei: Are you an inferni? Cause you're hot

[satisfiedbiscuit]

Matthias: Nina, are you sure you want to eat another waffle?

Nina: *eating her fifteenth waffle* Yeah why

Matthias: No reason....