“Because this life is a beautiful mess”. It’s 11:40 p.m. the moment I write this caption. A breeze sweeps over my window after a long rain since the morning. The smell of the sea and cold that isn’t too cold, creating a chill that feels just right. I needed to feel alive again after going through some of the hardest months of my adult life. I am scrolling down to the pictures on my disk. ‘Look at the face of yours. The smile, the emotion, you were very contented.’ It is impossible to recreate an experience exactly, especially one of such significance. No single experience can ever be the same or bring out the same emotional response. I could return to that same spot at sunset a month, a year, or a decade from now, and it would be different. In a way, I am leaving a lot of my life up to chance these days. I’m leading a march of self-discovery into a thick forest, with no compass to guide me. Hopefully, it let me know that I am heading in the right direction. What direction that is, I don’t precisely know. I still feel so lost. But that’s alright. That’s just how it is now. I’ll keep moving forward because standing still is not an option. You don’t find your happy places in life without putting one foot in front of the other. I love what Tulus said in his Diri song, semuanya baik-baik saja. He is not saying ‘it will’, instead he chose the words ‘it is Okay’. ————————— The beginning of Spring, 2022. 📸 @securious_mind (at 태화강대공원) https://www.instagram.com/p/CbE6oFqPWaLnRZmFeZAoVztSfWOXPixE1LszCQ0/?utm_medium=tumblr