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[saturnrin]

I love the idea that everything (positive) that Lila lies about somehow comes true for Marinette.

Lila lies about having connections to the queen of England? Suddenly, Marinette is getting regular commissions from the queen herself and forms quite the acquaintance-ship w the royal family.

Lila "is practically family" to an Italian mafia? Marinettes grandmother has quite an eccentric background, and through her, Marinette somehow manages to get a local Italian Mafia to pseudo-adopt her. (Only because she refused to actually be adopted, much to their disappointment)

Lila "went on tour" with Jagged Stone? Guess who wants his favorite designer to accompany him for his U.S. tour during the summer?

Oh, Lila says she acted in a movie for Graham de Vanily Films? Guess who ends up accidentally staring in a Graham de Vanily film?

I just want all the positive things that Lila lies about to happen to Marinette, who is sufficiently surprised every time (you'd think she'd be used to it by now), meanwhile, in the background, Lila gets progressively more pissed.

And the worst part? Every time she tries to upstage Marinette with something even bigger and grander than Marrinettes' own accomplishments? No matter how ridiculous, Marinette somehow ends up stumbling upon That. Exact. Opportunity.

It's incredibly frustrating.

You could say Marinette has some miraculous luck, despite how adamantly Tikki denies any involvement in these increasingly ridiculous turns of events.

All in all; Lila is frustrated, Marinette is frustrated, and Tikki is very amused (as are Adrien and Plagg, who watch this shit-show from the background).

[pingasking-brhdft]

I feel as if Tikki having this MASSIVE Shit eating grin.

[saturnrin]

Oh, she absolutely does.

Tikki looks far too smug every time she places blame for these "mysterious" turns of events on every good luck superstition under the sun.

What do you mean Tikki is the reason for Prince Ali contacting Marinette for a charity collaboration - completely unprompted and out of the blue - almost immediately after Lila lies about such an event?

Obviously, this happened because Marinette threw salt over her shoulder the last time she was baking.

Obviously..

No other reason.

No, Marinette, Tikki isn't the catalyst for the unfortunate turn of events that led to Mari {somehow?!?! Tikki wtf?} meeting the very same American heroes that Lila had just been claiming to be "very close personal friends" with. That's preposterous.

Clearly, this happened because Marinette found a face-up penny on the sidewalk three days prior.

No, Tikki didn't meddle in Marinettes life to get her that interview with Teen Vouge Magazine. And no, she's not the reason Marinette is on the front cover, either.

This is undoubtedly the work of that four-leaf-clover Manon gave Marinette the last time they went to the park.

Tikki always has an answer for everything. Every single question has an answer. Of course, Tikki wouldn't meddle with Marinettes good luck because that would upset the balance of the universe.

{No, it wouldn't. Tikki and Plagg plan it out Every. Single. Time. and make sure that they interfere on similar scales so it always balances out, just like the little shits Marinette knows they are.}

[saturnrin]

I got on birth control for a guy who doesn't even want a relationship. Somebody sedate me pls.

[questionable-method]

it's all fun and games til you're one of the two birds

[unhingedbbg]

i be acting like a escaped mental patient when i like someone

[clickbeetle]

*gripping sink clenching teeth* one percent is better than zero percent. one percent is better than zero percent. one percent is better than zero percent. one percent is better than zero percent.

[clickbeetle]

only washing your face in the shower, just to get anything clean, is better than not showering at all. doing one push up just to get your body moving is better than doing zero push ups. putting a single floret of broccoli in your pasta just to get any amount of veggies in you is better than zero broccoli. only getting out of bed to feed your cat is better than not feeding your cat. writing down what you want to do today, and then not doing it, is still better than never doing anything at all.

[depsidase]

[pisshandkerchief]

never kill yourself. discovering music is literally endless. you know songs? they're always making new ones

[depsidase]

[mandareeboo]

Piedmont will have absolutely no clue how to handle Post-Weirdmaggedon Dipper and Mabel.

The neighborhood kids play hide and seek and they’re hanging out on some random roof. You can’t beat them if you can’t reach them, suckas.

They’re outside every hour of the day. Literally. If you happen to be outside at two in the morning you might find them mid-magic hunt. Why not? Ford always said to take advantage of your insomnia for science.

Once some teenagers performing some weird Halloween hazing the Pines kids absolutely wrecked them. They literally have no chill.

For that matter, if you look Mabel in the eye, rumors say, you immediately have to play a game of cards with her. Never take pocket change anywhere near their street.

The pig goes with them. That’s final.

They say Dipper Pines has a six pack. They say he’s shredded. They saw he’s got a scar across the belly from fighting off a pack of wolves with his fists.

All the doors in the world are open if you know how to pick locks… Not that they’re saying they can. That’s implementing themselves in multiple unsolved crimes, and that would be stupid.

Feel free to add your own!

[nihilisticlinguistics]

Mabel starts leaving handmade jewelry around their school, their neighborhood, the local grocery store. People who know her are afraid to touch them but strangers pick up these little wire and yarn doodads and find themselves having some very good luck.

There’s a rumor that that kid who always falls asleep in class couldn’t sleep at night because a ghost was haunting him. One night they find out that Dipper got in trouble for breaking into his house in the dead of night. That kid stops falling asleep in class.

On all their homework and tests, they leave behind red ink eyes crossed out with an X. One of Mabel’s classmates asked her why and she looked up front, at their Trigonometry teacher and said, just in case.

Dipper listens to a death metal band called Robbie V and the Tombstones. No one can find their songs anywhere, but if you ask he’s happy to lend you his CDs.

Mabel remembers everything, about everyone. She’s the only one who remembers the birthdays of the kids with no friends and she shares happy memories when her peers are upset about a grade or family stuff. She writes down little details in a pink glittery notebook, so that no one will ever forget.

Dipper and a group of his classmates went on a field trip in the woods. When Dipper disappeared for several hours, the teachers panicked, but he appeared at their bus a few hours later, having collected all the data he needed for his bio lab and toting a jar filled with multicolored moths. He’s banged up, but he doesn’t seem to notice. When someone asks where he got them, he says “Mothman” and doesn’t answer any more questions.

Mabel makes a tidy profit off of Mabel Juice during final exam season. Half their graduating class will swear by it all through high school even if it does taste terrible. (The arrest rate for stimulant drug use drops close to zero.)

[radioactivepeasant]

These are amazing!

[horizonthetransient]

@tinibopper

[tini-ballerini]

Even right after they return, when their teachers ask them to share what they did over summer vacation, the Pines twins (mysteriously in all of the same classes –no one wants to imply that someone changed the class registers, but someone probably changed the class registers) just smile and shake their heads and say “nothing interesting” and “we spent the summer with our great uncles.” Everyone is nonetheless absolutely certain that the aura around them has changed in some inexplicable way.

Dipper writes everything down in a blank field journal, and is never seen without it. There are entire chapters written in ciphers with no handy key available, and he sometimes switches ciphers midway through. No one has the courage to ask him if he’s actually writing anything; they’re afraid the answer will be no. They’re even more afraid the answer will be yes.

Mabel has a thriving pen-pal relationship to almost everyone they met in Gravity Falls. “Who are you writing to?” will get answered with often inane answers, such as “he was our mailman and probably a werewolf” or “the sheriff and his first officer; they’re in love.”

Mabel also receives eloquently written love letters that she never opens.  At one point a pair of girls caught hold of one before it reached her, and read it, and were alarmed when they handed it over to her (resealed, of course) and she lit it on fire without even opening it. “They’re from Gideon,” Mabel says, as though that explains everything, smiling in a way that somehow doesn’t seem at all innocent.

They never agree to any request unless they’ve seen the other party has done their portion of the deal first. That’s a lesson you only ever have to learn once. Never trust words at face value.

Once, hanging out with friends on a clear autumn night, one of the girls pointed upward and said “Shooting star!” Mabel flinched visibly and would not explain why.

Mabel has a woven bracelet made of rainbow-like material that she never takes off. When asked about it, she says it’s unicorn hair. Dipper will sometimes muse that one of her teeth got chipped from that and their parents hadn’t been enthusiastic about the extra cost to their daughter’s orthodontic plan.

[mandareeboo]

YES YES AND MORE YES

Now I’m just seeing Dipper and Mabel slipping in and out of ciphers without meaning to, wearing unicorn hair (Dipper probably has a anklet or something), chugging Mabel Juice like it tastes fine, drawing x-ed out eyes on their arms and such.

[tini-ballerini]

It’s not a Pines Twins headcanon after Gravity Falls unless it has that vaguely unsettling sense of ‘something is not quite right with them’. At least, that’s my personal take on it.

[crystaldragoncynzi]

Their parents sometimes hear them speaking in the bathroom when there’s only one of them in there. When asked they shrug with a smile and say they’re just talking to their reflection. The parents never question why the other voice sounded nothing like their children’s.

Mabel is often found sending messages in bottles at the local river no matter what season. When asked she says she’s sending them to a penpal. Every so often she’s seen with new shell necklaces or reading letters written in Spanish. She never took Spanish.

[mandareeboo]

The fandom is coming together to create this really cool after-series magical world for Dipper and Mabes and I am HYPE YA’LL These are some seriously good headcanons!

[trell-less]

Their classmates spend a good portion of one summer following Mabel’s Instagram posts from a castle in Austria, totally casual with her arms slung around a baron and his girlfriend

Dipper’s classmates are confused by his hat switching styles every other year (it became a tradition for him and Wendy to switch at he end of each summer)

There’s a rumor that Dipper knows a special combo code for Fight Fighters at the local arcade but every time he’s there and someone asks he’ll just laugh it off and walk away

Sometimes a student will check a book out from the school or local library and it’s FULL of scribbled notes & ciphers

Somebody spent the time and effort to add a man named Quentin Trembley to the history textbooks in sparkly purple gel pen and the students always joke about having a question about him on the final

Any time one of them does something mildly rude or inconveniencing to the other the victim yells “I invoke GLOBNAR!” and mimics shooting a laser gun at the other

They get a physics class assignment to build a miniature bridge that can withstand a certain amount of weight, theirs ends up strong enough for the teacher to use it as a replacing desk leg. The whole bridge is faintly pink and glows slightly when the lights are turned off, and when asked what their secret is, the simply say “it’s all about the glue you use”

[hackmansmaze]

Mabel goes mini golfing with some friends. She insists on checking all the little tunnels you hit the balls through before she makes any swings, but gets repeated hole in ones. Her friends start checking as well, just to see if her luck will rub off, but Mabel claims it’s just skill.

Dipper treats photocopy machines like most people treat ovens: perfectly safe as long as you are careful and don’t touch the operational part of the device.

At one point in a thrift store, Mabel freaks out and demands to leave, but her friends don’t understand why she’s so upset over some old BK kids club merchandise.

Dipper joins a DD&MD campaign and complains when his Gnome Bard can’t team up with people to shatter undead skulls by singing or form a giant voltron Gnome. He eventually becomes the DM and wows his players with incredibly creative homebrew monsters, but refuses to include Probabilitor in any of his adventures.

[littleblueberryartist]

Eventually, The Pines Twins become known as the Mystery Twins in Piedmont too

Some years they come back with a new scar somewhere

It’s said that they managed to befriend some of the wild animals in the nearby woods

One of Dipper’s old bullies run into him and tries to tease them again. He’s never seen in the same place as the Pines ever again

If you listen closely to the twins when they’re chatting you can hear mentions of something called a “multi-bear” before they switch to speaking in cipher because somehow they noticed you eavesdropping

Most of the deaf and mute students in school know the Pines because they know Morse code and sign language

Any bully that the Pines See are sick the next day

Occasionally, when you chat with the Pines about the supernatural, they tend to randomly correct a few things. For example, pure elves are actually pretty ugly. When you ask how they’re so sure, they just share a knowing look and say “Our Grunkle told us”

The Pines Twins are way too smart.(Ford could tutor them both, if only to keep them in the same grade) But for some reason they never want to skip grades. When asked, they simply say “Don’t want to grow up too fast”

yknow if romeo had just Cried on juliets corpse for a couple hours instead of drinking poison Right Then they would have been Fine

[persephonesidekick]

The moral of the story is: always take time to cry for a few hours before making important decisions.

[runecestershire]

[runecestershire]

So I’m more or less being facetious here, but this is actually a thing.

Hamlet is genre savvy. Hamlet knows how Tragedies work, and he’s not going to rush in and get stabby without making absolutely certain he’s got all the facts.

Except once he thinks he has all the facts – once he’s certain that it really is the ghost of his father and Claudius really did kill him, he rushes in and stabs the wrong guy, which starts a domino line of deaths and gets Laertes embroiled in his own revenge tragedy and ultimately results in the deaths of nearly every character other than Horatio.

That’s the irony and the tragedy of the story. Hamlet knows his tropes and actively tries to avoid them, and the tropes get him anyway. It’s inevitable, the tropes are hungry.

[motherfuckingshakespeare]

I want a sticker that says the tropes are hungry so I can put it on my laptop

[daimonie]

i met a scholar once who said that tragedies aren’t about a silly “flaw” or anything, it’s about having a hero who’s just in the wrong goddamn story

if hamlet swapped places with othello he wouldn’t be duped by any of iago’s shit, he’d sit down & have a good think & actually examine the facts before taking action. meanwhile in denmark, othello would have killed claudius before act 2 could even start. but instead nope, they’re both in situations where their greatest strengths are totally useless and now we’ve got all these bodies to bury.

[whopooh]

The tropes are hungry and the hero is in the wrong goddamn story.

I love this post.

[little-red-alchemist-of-doom]

You either die a hero…

or you live long enough to see yourself become Nathalie.

[lawbreaker13]

I’M DYING THIS IS TOTALLY CANON

[buggachat]

[quietwingsinthesky]

possession horror where the thing possessing the autistic character causes them to behave in a more neurotypical way. autistic possession horror where the thing inside you is easier to communicate with than you are, the thing inside you doesn’t have a flat affect, the thing inside you doesn’t let your body stim, the thing inside you is how you were told to behave and you can only do it when you are no longer you. autistic possession horror where you will never forget that everyone liked it better than you before they found out something was controlling you. autistic possession horror where they know what’s inside you isn’t you and debate whether it would be easier for everyone to leave you like this anyway. you agree. reblog.

[leebrontide]

Potentially hot take but one of the reasons we need art and music in schools is that, taught correctly, they are ideal avenues for teaching kids how to do something, kinda suck at it, keep going anyways and improve over time.

And THAT is one of the most valuable skill sets a human being can have. THAT is the skill set that unlocks soooooo many others.

A LOT of people I see with anxiety and depression do not have this skill set. To suck at something is a threat. Proof that they are doomed to suck at it forever. And then, often, that either THEY suck forever or the task must be stupid/useless/pointless (whence we get AI art fans who have decided actually making art is pointless and degrading the labor and skills of others is fine because these are useless skills).

Or you get the freeze- the inability to try things in case you fail. The sudden lancing shame and humiliation or hopelessness. The sense that anything you haven't learned by now you can't learn. Which is so heartbreaking and so untrue.

I just hate it.

"What if I write it and it's bad" "what if I draw it and it's bad" "what if I play it and it sounds bad" DOING IT BAD IS HOW YOU LEARN TO DO IT GOOD! You can't skip the process of leaning and the process is FUN if you let it be what it needs to be!

[lastoneout]

Sorry we really went from free the nipple, take back the night, slut walks, and ending gender/sex segregation in sports being fucking milquetoast feminism 101 concepts to fucking girl dinner and "I just worry about fairness if we let trans girls play against cis ones" and "it was right of that woman to call the cops on a black man for existing near here in public during the day time because men are all violent monsters" and "radical feminism isn't transphobic we just need to kill all men including trans ones those oppressive traitors" and I will legit never be able to be normal about it. What the FUCK happened. I'd say I wonder what the feminists of my youth would say about this but I'm one and lemme tell ya I want to throw up. Go fucking read bell hooks or do something else useful please because all of this learned helplessness, gender essentialism, and transphobia dressed up as feminism is actively holding us back.

[thewitchoftheweed]

We live in the dumbest, lamest cyberpunk dystopia possible.

So LA has been — and continues to — protest against ICE. These protests haven’t gotten any smaller or lost any momentum, but social media wasn’t reflecting it.

TikTok users, realizing that the platform/other social media are censoring/deleting/shadowbanning these protest videos, decided to find a workaround.

They’re calling it the LA Music Festival. Ice detention centers and other protest locations are “stages.” The hottest band is Rage Against the Machine. “Here’s what gear you should be bringing to stay safe at the LA Music Festival.”

And it fucking worked.

TikTok has become a proving ground for a lot of new music, meaning lots of labels and organizations have lucrative deals with TikTok to promote their new artists and music festivals. So they absolutely cannot censor the words “music festival” or train the algorithm to ignore it, or they risk endangering that very important revenue.

So now protest videos are flooding feeds again, but it’s the LA 24/7 Music Festival. Truly an incredible timeline we’ve landed in.

[charonsferry]

During the Civil Rights Movement of the 60s, radio broadcasts would refer to upcoming marches as "parties" and use other such euphemisms to sneak calls to organize past censors. For example, the Birmingham marches of 1963 were called "a field trip in the park with a luncheon".

This is, frankly, a timeless strategy, just done online.

[deep-state-partisan]

[queermania]

if i’m ever brutally murdered and everyone feels like they need to do something productive in my memory, all i want is for you to pass legislation banning LED headlights in my name. regardless of how irrelevant it is to my murder. it’s relevant to my heart.