Cheaper Than Therapy Headcanons
"It seems no matter where they go, they'll always have a hand in the underground crime world..." - DW. C.
- He’s a bit more laid back than the other Mafia brothers and the least likely to anger. He believes that communication can be the solution to most issues.
- He has a really big soft spot for frogs for some reason. He’s even got a terrarium at home for ones he’s found that were crippled, and he visits different cities to run frog races and their betting pools every once in a while.
- He spends the most time at Cheaper Than Therapy, most of the time just running the bar. He also manages the hired help with Chardon. Both for the bar and their underground work.
- He’s the most likely to contact their big boss. Communication is his forte, so of course, when the time comes to report to the dark man who runs the entire crime world, it’s him who does the talking.
Alster (Mafiatale Papyrus)
- He’s a gentle-monster above all else. Even when getting his hands dirty, he refuses to have a hand in torture himself. He has very defined lines in his ethics.
- If you spot him at Cheaper Than Therapy, he’s quite cheery and practically radiates a steady sort of passion. He loves to speak his mind, and carries conversations easily, but the real treat is when he speaks about his hobby.
- Although he spends his time running the underground world and the bar, he has a passion for entomology - the study of insects! He has several books in his library and displays of exotic bugs, even from different AUs! He loves gushing about his favorite topic.
- He usually never swears as a sign of respect to himself and his image. If he does, something is likely very wrong, or you’ve pissed him off beyond mercy.
- He and Brandy will have heated debates on which species is better - amphibians or insects - but more often than not, Chardon will interrupt, stating that his beloved cat trumps all of them.
- He enjoys breaking kneecaps, because honestly, that’s what his night job calls for, but he’s pretty stuck on the idea of being a gentle-monster when he can outside of work.
- He’s a certified himbo. He flirts real well sometimes - he knows what his voice can do - but there are times where he just forgets he has brain cells and how to use them.
- He’s huge on baking in his spare time. He’s been the judge of cookie contests before, and been the champion 3 years in a row. His signature cookies are his snickerdoodles. A recipe that he guards jealousy and was passed down from his Ma.
- He’s got a strong opinion on fate. It’s not something you can ever avoid. He has first hand experience on just how narrowly fixed a path of life can be.
- He’s the laziest of the four in terms of work, but still manages to get things done. He’s at Cheaper Than Therapy the least often, but whenever he is there, he’s usually up for a drink with anyone companionable, or doesn’t want to be bothered at all. No in between.
Chardon (MafiaFell Papyrus)
- He’s uptight, to put it bluntly, and his expectations for everything he consumes or buys are of top quality and nothing less. He enjoys the finer things in life, but every once in a while, he’ll indulge in guilty pleasures that remind him of his less fortunate childhood.
- He handles most of the organizing of all their underground work but is also in charge of keeping track of which drinks make it onto their menu. Nothing of a quality lower than his high expectations is allowed so long as he’s here.
- He’s got a special drink for every occasion - holidays, charity events, birthdays? He’s got one for every birthday he’d celebrate, and if you don’t have it, he’ll bring it himself.
- He and his brother will have heated debates, sometimes during work hours, and if they start getting too stubborn, they’ll pull in customers and ask them for their opinion.
- He has a cat named Mr. Whiskers! Who is spoiled just as much as Doomfanger is. Anyone who dares to ruffle a single tuft of fur on him is sent to their doom.
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