Holocron

Elder Millennial, ageless cryptid, any pronouns but prefer not to be perceived. Performatively horny asexual. Not gay as in happy, queer as in fuck you.

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

my actual vampire hot take is that if you're going to be a 'vegetarian' vampire (a vampire that only drinks the blood of animals) you MUST have hunter education. i'm so sick of people being like oh well predator animals are mean and scary because they kill cute 'harmless' animals like NO they're crucial for the environment and if you're going to hunt animals for blood you still need to stick to regular people hunting guidelines and only hunt things that are in season and abide by your areas bag limits

[moral-autism]

vampire that did a detailed study about whether vampires can get prion diseases and concluded they can't and preferentially hunts animals with chronic wasting disease. and then incinerates the corpses.

[aksemmi]

vampire who is a woke predation abolitionist and so exclusively hunts predators, leaving primarily herbivorous and scavenging animals alone

[yaldabaothadeez]

"For miles around the foul creature's lair is nothing but barren wastes"

"because of The Curse?"

"Because of the deer and rabbits, fucking thing ate all the wolves"

[quendergeer]

[3liza]

this kind of post is how you know the entire edifice of "inceldom" is delusional

[succubusboyfriend]

are you “adaptable” or are you just willing to subject yourself to existing in low key background-level ambient misery

[succubusboyfriend]

these are different things btw. actual adaptability means not dealing with being miserable long term. and being constantly mildly annoyed/frustrated with a situation but being “able to deal with it” counts as ambient misery. btw.

[succubusboyfriend]

let this be your sign to make your life just a little more livable. get a dollar store trash can for your bedside so Cup City’s invasion plans fall through. block a tag or post that makes you grind your teeth every time you see it. get some grip pads so your bed stops sliding across the hardwood a little bit every time you get in it. tell that person you need a little more support. if you get annoyed at a situation more than a couple times, change it. don’t be content with being miserable.

[demonprincex]

and the more that you start doing this, the better you will get at detecting your own feelings and advocating for yourself! This is an important start to being more of a person in the world if you struggle with that

[justnoodlefishthings]

Starting to think we just need to start beating antivaxxers with hammers

[justnoodlefishthings]

while I'm at it if you wear Meta glasses and record strangers in public I should legally be allowed to bite your throat and shake you until you stop moving

[great-and-small]

I saw an otter briefly hop on top of a babirusa at the zoo and when the stranger standing next to me heard my camera shutter click he turned to me with this look of immense relief, put his hand to his chest, and said in a dead serious tone “oh thank christ someone caught that on film”

[great-and-small]

Not the best photo but here it is for posterity

[aelijoh]

I wanted to draw them

[ravenwordsx]

@animals-with-fan-art

[meladoodle]

me: “hey can you pretend this banana I found outside is a gun?” Gus: “it is a gun” me: “shit you’re a good actor”

[meladoodle]

I got another photo with Giancarlo Esposito and the conversation went like this

me: hey 10 years ago I got a photo of you pretending a banana was a gun, do you remember me?

Giancarlo: of course I remember you

me: shit you’re a good actor

[dogpuppy]

[erikag59]

[sigmaleph]

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

[hyenaswine]

based based based based based based based based based based based based

[becomedog]

[alukardtheabysswalker]

@halfaqueen peer reviewed tags because they're so on point

[debustee]

Lyanna Stark💙

[lunalockser]

One of my favorite things about Leverage is that they were not afraid to put their men in colors. I'm not just talking about Nates obnoxious cutomes either. But the amount of times that Hardison is just casually wearing pink. The amount of fun patterns that Eliot gets away with while still being the "guard dog".

I love a show that isn't afraid of fun outfits.

[yeahabsolutelynot]

i found some examples 🫶🏻

hardison in a cute lil sweater vest-tie combo lookin scrumptious:

hitter hacker thief in varying levels of fun outfits (hardison with the scarf/shirt, eliot wearing professor-chic, parker in a black doily):

here's eliot looking all kinds of soft and fluffy, channeling mormon jesus:

i got distracted bc i found this gif of aldis hodge and holee shit...

okay back to business!

we've got eliot in his guy-liner fashionista era and hardison really having no feet to stand on bc what in the hell is that orange monstrosity? no judgement (kay maybe a little) but it definitely is an outfit:

i'm so sorry i got distracted again...(i'm not sorry at alllll)

could not for the life of me find a better gif of it but hardi boy in this pink number with the fringey scarf:

eliot in salmon+overalls and parker in soft blue (personal favourite colour on her, it just goes so nice w her hair and skin tone):

eliot and his truly impressive layering, they really put him in 2 button-ups, a zippered hoodie, AND a leather jacket to top it all off:

and finally, a classic! all of them looking like they crawled out of a bad comedy movie lol:

[freakofnerdsher]

[my-citrus-pocket]

Eliot's various Chef outfits need to be mentioned too! Can't find the scary chef one from the French Connection Job, but this one is nice too.

[not-a-smartass-just-a-nerd]

new favorite reaction image just dropped

[zac-oyama]

[cursedtrekedits]

Hey bud, could we please have Q Paul’s drag race

yes you absolutely can

[cursedtrekedits]

@punchholesinthesky

[cursedtrekedits]

update by popular demand (i think from @tangled-pixel-harpsichord first)

[scribblerinthestars]

100% would watch.

[hilarynights]

ilya and shane are going to be saying they love each other multiple times in every episode of s2. they’ll say it while they fuck and while they are on the phone and while they are eating and when they wake up together!!!!!!! when they are happy and sad and mad and blissed out and over text and around shane’s parents and hayden and jackie. and ilya will say he loves shane in therapy and even when they cant say it to each other out loud they will know, and their eyes will show that love that they say aloud to each other every day

[thememedaddy]

[prismatic-bell]

If you want to make a "better" appliance I will pay a premium for, here's my ideal fridge:

1) glass doors. I have ADHD and if I can't see it, it doesn't exist. Invest in technology that will insulate a clear fridge door.

2) semi-smart feature: crisper sensor. A feature where I can input whatever is in my crisper drawers and have a little readout timer that says how long it's been in there and turns red if I need to use something in the next ~24 hours. This should not require an internet connection.

3) a semi-circular back so shelves can be spun out for cleaning and selecting items near the back. This would have the additional benefit of letting me put stuff in locations that optimize cold airflow, instead of where I can see/reach.

4) for models with a freezer on the bottom (which logically should be all of them, actually, it's more energy efficient): "pop-up" shelves that help me to minimize bending or kneeling.

And now:

5) I should be able to repair all of the shelves on my own. The parts for the crisper sensor should be modular for easy replacement and shouldn't cost an arm and a leg. Gaskets should be removable/replaceable and don't tell me it can't be done, I worked in food service for seven years. I was the person cleaning and checking the gaskets. I know it's already possible.

6) I realize there are some parts of a refrigerator that your average layperson should ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT be able to access for repair because we prefer to not have Freon in our water supply and also way too many people are way too dumb about how dangerous undischarged electricity can be, and I accept that some things are too dangerous to be handled without special training. HOWEVER, parts for these areas of the fridge should be produced to a standardized spec and be readily available so that 10 years into owning my fridge I can call any fridge repair person, say "hey my fridge is ten years old and I'd like to get the guts checked out to be sure everything is in proper working order," and when they check it out they can say "mostly good, but your flux condensator looks a little shaky and I'd recommend replacing it now so you don't have to worry about it damaging your quantum harmonizer," and then they can tell me exactly how much that will cost and that they can have it done in a week because the part is easy to order and the fridge was designed for them to be able to easily remove/replace damaged components as long as they have basic fridge repair tools. No proprietary tools, no "you have to order from a single factory in Timbuktu that only produces flux condensators during full moons falling on Tuesdays," and if any given brand is like "okay you have to use a Maytag flux condensator in a Maytag fridge for your warranty to apply" then they should be required to provide a Maytag flux condensator at the same price as a third-party flux condensator of the same demonstrated quality.

There you go. That's how you get me for life. Quality construction, right to repair, and making your parts either the same price as the generics, or of such good quality that I say "you know what, that flux condensator lasted me ten years. I'll go ahead and pay the extra fifty bucks for a Maytag one instead of going generic."

[gothamlesbian-blog]

they used to say that the only people who ever stayed dead in comics were jason todd, bucky, and uncle ben so where is uncle ben’s leather-wearing gun-wielding antihero solo comic