A Birthday Letter for Tatay
Thank you for all the birthday greetings! My heart is full. By grace alone, I live. Please join me in praying that the pandemic will soon be over, that there will be provision for families who lost their jobs, and access to proper health care and education tools sa mga bata and their parents.
This is my digital journey entry today and I am sharing it, and this is emotional (like my whole journal) and I am sharing something I didn't tell my friends last year, sarreh 🤣🤣🤣
"Dear Tatay, Happy 14th year in heaven and happy 28th to me on earth! I miss you, yet as I grow older I see your eyes, your hair, and your smile in me ☺️ Thank you for passing on these lovely gifts ❤️
I did not write to you last year, but I had a very wonderful and redemptive memory of this day.
Last year, October 8, after exploring Antipolo, Ram took me to CBTL FT, one of the places we always go to study or chill during our ATS days. I thought we'll just end the long day with coffee, but suddenly the café's music changed with the song "Bless the Broken Road". Ram gave me a Pandora's Box -- a metaphor of how I see the world before: a world where pain, sorrow, and isolation is present. And when you left us in 2006, I really felt that we are one of the victims of these.
He told me that he looked for a perfect gift from different shops, but nothing can capture the story that I told him about. I didn't know that he actually listens to me whenever I tell him about Greek/Roman myths, and how he remembered one of our conversations where I told him that my birthday is out of Pandora's box.
As I open the box, he said (nv), "in this life where you may have experienced the chaos in the world early, may you see me journeying with you. And when you open this box, may you not see sorrow, but happiness. We will redeem the joy of today each year. Will you journey with me?"
I did not speak. I just cried for about 10 minutes. As I am crying, I remember that at the last moment of Pandora's story, Hope remained. An ending I forgot because I am so obsessed with my pain. But here is Hope, not Pandora's, but He who gave us life has come and redeemed the day, and showed it to us in a tangible way. At this moment, through people, and sometimes, through circumstances.
I still miss you and remembering our last conversation is still painful. But I hope that on your last breath you've forgiven your stubborn child. Your child who went out when you told her not to.
I've come home Tay, and I will stay at home in our Father and our hope. I am never going away. Like our home, pain and sickness is sometimes there, but God our hope, remains ❤️ I hope that many people will get to know Hope, our Jesus, and in knowing Him, we find relief in chaos, peace amidst our restlessness, care in our isolation.
I know that you are now enjoying the fullness of His care and I can let you go na. We visited your "resting place" para magpaalam, please walk beside me on that day.
blakekathryn
titsay
annaxmalina
areudirty
2087
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