curly's dialogue from the last one and then another (the how fish is made dlc used to promote mouthwashing), because i feel like it's an interesting insight:
it's easy to get on this boat when you have to. you say to yourself, this is just temporary. just until i get what i need. got bigger things planned! then suddenly you're one year in, five years. ten. first i couldn't stand the constant, constant noise. now i can't sleep without it. a lot of things can't follow you out here. but it also means the outside world moves on without you. won't even notice until it's too late... easy to get on, hard to leave.
do you want to hear a joke? three men are in the hospital. the first man cries "i lost both my hands, they told me i'll never work again!" - the second man wails "i lost both my legs, they told me i'll never work again!" - the third man? he rejoices "i lost my hearing, they'll never be able to tell me i'm fired again!" hahahah! good one, huh?
next comes spite. first it stares back at you in the mirror. then it's those around you. they're wearing your face, and you theirs... you know. he joined because of me. what were the words i used? ah, right. "it's a great opportunity. easy money, just a trip or two." someone else's words in my mouth. hey, worked on me as well, right? change hurts, but worse things fester for a long time. i told him as much. i tried, i really did. we're defined by our past, but not slaves to it. we said tomorrow will be different. today would be the last day. the last one. the last one and then another. and another, and another, and another...
HELLOOOO EVERYONE!!!!! i haven’t posted in so long ughhh but i assure you i’m still a buckshot girlie! i’ve been getting into anatomy a lot recently and my art has improved ugh
he’s some araceli’s as compensation for being gone so long LOLLL
*slides in* hey,, :3 can you make some general relationship hcs for my man swansea, i love him so much <3
Swansea? In this household? It's more likely than you think. This one is more fleshed out just for all you starved Swansea lovers out there. Ended up more mature (not nsfw but just mature) than fluffy.
𓇻 ft. swansea x gn reader
𓇻 request. relationship headcanons!
𓇻 content. referenced age gap but in the context of "if you have an age gap". reader is not swansea's first spouse in this one. referenced ex-wife and kids. mention of drinking and recreational drug use.
𓇻 enjoy! feel free to like, reblog, or send in asks!
A lot of late nights just sitting out on the back porch, drinking sodas and shooting the breeze.
Swansea who holds your hands steady as he takes you out hunting, his burly hands over yours as he steadies the shotgun. He definitely gets your initials engraved in it at one point.
Swansea who sits through your drinking sessions and any recreational medicinal trips that you choose to take, who only sighs and holds your hair out of your eyes, pressing a cold cloth to your forehead. Swansea who always knows the best remedy for all of it. Who doesn’t shame you for choosing to partake in those activities but wants you to do it safely.
Swansea who carries your bags everywhere with a pinched face but never lets you take them from him.
Gets grumpy when he takes you fishing with him and you catch more, but fillets them and makes a subpar grilled fish but it’s fine because it’s him.
He slides any wine-cooked foods onto your plate with a surly look. No matter how many times he’s told that it gets cooked out, he doesn’t want to risk a relapse. Doesn’t want to risk you.
He prefers to sleep with you laying on top of him. He’s comfortable with his weight, so he’s actually fond of you sleeping on his stomach.
Above all else, his sons mean the world to him. So it’s a major relief when they either tolerate or accept you, especially if there’s a considerable age gap between you and him.
If you’re closer to his kids’ ages, he’s content with letting you three hash out shared experiences.
If there’s an age gap: he’s a little amused the first time someone assumed you were his kid. It becomes a little annoying after a while but he makes the dry comment of “yeah, they’re only with me until I kick the bucket and they get the inheritance” sugardad spiel and that shuts them up quick. He always finds great amusement in that.
Always has a knack for remembering the little details. He doesn’t do extravagant outings or presents, but remembers the shirt you liked in a store, or a dvd you watched as a kid. He’ll gift them to you later. He absolutely does not expect nor want reciprocation in gifts. Your company and affection is more than enough for that.
Are you in school, studying something? Swansea will sit down and go over your homework with you. In fact, he’ll learn your subjects so that he can help you better. He’s actually good at that. He may, in fact, enroll in a few classes to better understand.
Late night drives into the sunset in his beat up, vintage car, with the hood down and blowing through your hair. He’ll let you drive if you ask. If you don’t know how, he’ll actually teach you.
The hardest hurdle in your relationship would be that he’s harsh in his criticisms and tactless for it. His words can be nasty, and it’ll be a while before he realizes they cut you. He’s not prone to apologies but he’ll try to make it up to you. It’ll be an uphill battle to get him out of that habit.
Going to extended family barbeques. You’ll always get served first.
Not prone to pda but will gladly kiss you whenever you want.
It’s a habit for him to wear his old wedding ring and he probably won’t even think to remove it until you mention it. If it’s an issue, he’ll swap it out for a different one of your choice.
Doesn’t initially think of marriage first so it’ll be something that you bring up. At this point in his life, he’s content being in a common law relationship with you, but will agree to marrying you. It’s one of those “he doesn’t feel the need to” but will gladly do it. I repeat: gladly. He wouldn’t do it just because you want him to. He wants to. He just doesn't mind if it happens or not.
Only wants the marriage to be a small affair with family but will acquiesce if you want a larger one.
Actually asks if you’d prefer a whole new wedding band for the pair of you. Again, he’s not overly attached to his old one, but it’s familiar to him. Definitely fidgets with the new one a lot until he gets used to it.
You’ll have to bring up the topic of kids. May try to coax you into a dog instead. Still becomes the best dad ever if you two have a kid anyway. (He tries, anyway, and he has experience.)
Always awake during thunderstorms but will gently coax you back to sleep. Also a pro if you’re prone to nightmares. Somehow half asleep when he does it.
King of bubble baths. Knows all the perfumes, fizzing bombs, candles, etc that all compliment each other. Likes to either have you against his chest while you’re both in the tub OR him behind you (outside of the tub) while he pampers you.
If you’re multilingual, he’ll slowly learn your language then surprise you with it randomly. It’s butchered horribly and, honestly, if you laugh at him about it he may just give up.
Anything barbequed is his apology food. Sometimes, rarely, you’ll get a dessert that’s underwhelming (think cake that flopped in the middle).
Has the absolute most beautiful penmanship and he, without fail, signs each card as from the both of you. Also gives cards for anniversaries and birthdays.
He’ll stand behind you in the doorway as you’re watching a show. If it’s some kind of soap drama or reality tv, he seems to scarily know alot about it and will indulge you in all of the facts.
You two spend a lot of time with the neighbours. Not because Swansea introduces you two but because they always come around. The kids, especially, become increasingly familiar with you and refer to you two as their “grandparents” (regardless of how old you are).
Not an avid cuddler but will let you cuddle him. He’ll just drape an arm around you and, when you try to leave at some point, will tighten his grip just enough to convince you to stay.
While watching tv together, somehow, he always winds up with your feet on his lap. Swansea is pretty proficient at foot massages.
You two absolutely slay when it comes to the tango. He always has enough energy to go a few rounds and then some. He may grumble in protest if you try to pull him into a dance whenever any music comes on, but he’ll oblige.
Swansea leaves sticky notes everywhere for you; these can range from compliments, chore lists, to whatever feud you two are having (he’s humoured by the sticky notes during fights so he’ll break first in that case) to even little commentary like “watch the newest episode”.
Swansea is secure in the relationship in that he won’t bat an eye if your eyes linger on someone, but he’ll end up sliding up in front of you if someone tries to make a pass. You’re his, hands off, pal.
Simultaneously the best and worst person to watch a series with. He’ll nod off after a while partway through or stay up to watch a few more episodes before he realizes you fell asleep. If you both start a series that he’s already ahead of you on, he’ll inadvertently spoil it by going “is (name) still alive?”. He sometimes says it just to fuck with you. Watching new series together tends to be more golden though. He’ll be completely unphased if you spoil it for him.
Carries you to bed either bridal or piggy-back style. He will complain about it if you’re awake. Always seems to know when you’re fake sleeping just to have him carry you but it’s endearing. “Nice try, sweetheart. Don’t worry ‘bout nothing, though, I’ve got you.”
Really likes the look of you in his t-shirts. Something about seeing you in his clothes makes him feel so homey and softer. As if this is the sight he wants to come home to every night for the rest of his life. (It is.) He tends to wrap his arms around you and settle his chin on top of your head, just lingering. He'll grumble if you take his shirts but you'll always find a new one easily accessible.
Wakes you up with loud clanging sounds as he gets ready for the day. It’s all accidental, he’s just a loud individual; always putting a bit too much force behind closing drawers, rifling through cabinets or loud banging in the kitchen as he gets coffee ready. Grumbles an apology but kisses you good morning as he reads the newspaper.
He absolutely hates if you finish his crossword puzzle, namely without him. It's the one thing he won't share with you.
He either makes enough food just for himself or enough to feed an army. There’s no in between. He, however, doesn’t complain if you steal food off his plate aside from raised eyebrows and a long, suffering sigh. Willingly slides the food onto your plate if you stop doing it though.
Honestly, another sticking point in your relationship could be his relationship with his ex-wife. They’ve been separated for a long while before you two got together, but they have two sons together and raised them together. They still have family trips between the four of them (you’re invited, as well as his ex’s new partner). But it can feel especially chummy to those who are insecure about people being friends with exes. This will be one line he won’t back down from. There’s absolutely nothing romantic between them anymore but he’s not going to cut her out; they’re friendly and she’s literally the mother of his children.
Swansea takes photos of things that he thinks you'll like; usually, it somehow winds up with an accidental, unflattering frontal camera selfie (which you save anyway) or half-blurried shot. He takes the time to photograph you properly though, going as far as adding all the filters you like to it. He'll refuse any bodily changing ones (removing acne, making yourself skinnier, smoothing wrinkles, etc). He loves you just as you are and it's unfathomable to think that you don't.
Tends to pay for everything. Bills, dinner dates, gifts. It may lead to a feeling of financial dependency (despite having a job) and it’ll be a discussion to be had if you’re not cool with it.
Absolutely refuses to buy new clothes or retire aging items. He’s especially handy (being a mechanic has its perks) so he just repairs it. You’ll have to gift him new items and remove his old ones to actually get him to use any of it though. “They just don’t make ‘em like they used ta.”
While he feels formal clothing feels stuffy, he cuts a nice figure in his suit. But he absolutely cannot take his eyes off you when you’re all dressed up.
A proper gentleman. He opens doors for you, pays the dinner bill, arriving early, pulling out chairs for you. Also knows which fancy spoon or fork to use at important meetings. (He’ll cough slightly and look pointedly at you as he demonstrates.) It’s ingrained in his very soul. You’ll have to beat it out of him if you want him to stop. (Please don’t beat him.)
He keeps a photo of you in his wallet and on the vanity mirror.
He invited you to join the Christmas photo for when his family sends out cards. He wears the most godawful ugliest Christmas sweater and looks terribly grumpy; but in each one, he can’t take his eyes off you. (That’s in most of the photos with him, actually.)
Swansea lets you rifle through his phone without complaint; you probably know a lot more about it than he does. He’ll bitch about it so hard if your contact photo for him is him in an absolutely weird sleeping position, but will grumble if you change it. Whatever contact photo you have for him, he’ll reciprocate.
While he can learn new things and will proudly show off his own expertise, if it’s something that you showed him, he’ll have you do it each time afterward. It’s not that he’s lazy, it’s just that he thinks it’s kind of hot and endearing to see you perform such tasks confidently.
Somehow, he ends up with the weirdest pets and names them the most diabolical thing like “Shizzlord 3000”. (Courtesy of his youngest son from an inside joke when the youngest was a kid.) (He'd actually choose something "classy" like Washington or Churchill.) They’re always raccoons, beavers or bats. Once a full on elk. He’s full on the animal whisperer and somehow has them docile towards both him and you. Although he’s fully prepared to full on yeet them out the door the second they harm you. Full on just chucks them out with surprising strength.
Swansea catches on quick if you find any action he does as attractive. Rolled up sleeves? He’ll be parading around like that all the time with a little smirk. “Don’t get yer knickers in a twist, I’m just washin’ the dishes over here.” It’s a bit of a playful game to see how long you’ll go until you lose it.
Swansea winds up with a tattoo of your name on his shoulder at some point during your relationship. The cheesy one that has the heart and a scroll, going “(name) 4EVER”. While he never tells you where or when he got it, he’s secretly very proud of it. He’ll also get your wedding date tattooed on him, alongside the date of when you first met, close to where he has his kids’ birthdays tattooed.
If I hear one more person say, "Oh, it's because he's married, he has kids," I'm done. I don't care. That's a fictional man, and I could just as easily be his wife.
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