@sawebb93 - Tumblr Blog

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) || Avengers: Endgame (2019)

so i’m currently working at a law firm and the other day one of the attorneys was talking to me and he mentioned that he’s “not very confrontational” and i was like you are?? a lawyer???

and he said “yeah but in court there are rules. i can argue with some shmuck in a suit in front of a judge no problem, but when i leave the courthouse and go home i’m not gonna argue with my wife about dinner. there are no rules in our kitchen. i would die.”

martymartinloki

there are no rules in our kitchen. i would die.

brnbear550

After one first and final fight with his wife

memesandlaughs

pettycentral

memesandlaughs

gaycism

thegiantpandabear

Tops with no vocabulary be like

lonely-epidemic

Stop top shaming. They’re humans too

proto-homo

So we gotta put in 85% of the work and have a script written with lines memorized???

niambi

85%?!?!?

proto-homo

Okay, you right. It’s more like 97.42%

dotdotfrot-deactivated20190813

I- 97.42%?

thegiantpandabear

Bottoms: *clean out for 20 minutes, watch what they eat for the entire day, blow the top for 15 minutes, ride the top while supporting their entire body weight, deal with possibly being sore afterward for a short time*

Tops: *get hard and just shove it in, sometimes don’t help the bottoms finish after they finish because they just fall asleep*

97.42% tho

darthvaders

Just bury me in the ocean with my ancestors who jumped from ships, ‘cause they knew death was better than bondage.

hell-bound-and-diversivolent

do not let someone tell you that you’re not valid

ponett

“Gay rights!” - Spidered Man

loafed-beans-deactivated2020082

fedkaczynski

What’s funny is that this actually happened.

allamericankindofguy-actual

I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

fedkaczynski

Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis.

ethereal-insight-deactivated201

Did he survive?

loafed-beans-deactivated2020082

Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

doctor-roman

His name was Aimo Koivunen if you want to look him up

misteryada

Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed

superkat500

Those are the eyes of a man who saw satan and asked for his number

haiku-robot

those are the eyes of a man who saw satan and asked for his number

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Being aware that you are true is what makes you a failure. | PayPal | Patreon

tapatiopapi

When another gay is hired at your job

stushiroll-deactivated20200406

When you’re the new gay who just got hired

dragonite-master

When the new gay get fired for not doing thier job

stushiroll-deactivated20200406

When the new gay shows up after getting his job back for blowing the manager

papa-peach-deactivated20241019

When the district manager fires both of you, and the manager, for starting drama in addition to having inappropriate sexual relationships with management.