Something that took me way too long to learn that I thought I'd pass along:
"Picky eaters" are, in fact, picky.
When you offer something to eat to someone who has preferences for certain foods, and they say, "No, thank you," it's because they don't like what you've made, or because they like other things more.
It's not because your food is unpredictable, and they don't *know* if they like it.
If I make taco soup for a neurodiverse child and they love it, then they believe they love taco soup. The soup has ground beef, a bag of frozen mixed veggies, some beef broth, and taco seasoning. It's served with tortilla chips, and it's tasty.
And if, perhaps, the next time I make it, I add beans and a can of tomatoes?
I think it's excellent that way.
But it's the *same* taco soup as the one they remember. And maybe they can stand the texture of beans, or the acid of tomatoes.
They know that -- they just don’t know that they feel like they've been tricked.
Taco soup isn’t supposed to be one thing, every time.
If I say we're having "tacos" and one time it's chicken and one time it's ground beef and another time it's carnitas, that child can know whether "tacos" are something they can eat.
"Stir fry?" Forget it. Way too few variables.
But you know what does have variables?
Add-hot-water-and-eat instant pho.
Taco Time meal number 8 with chicken, corn tortillas and a root beer.
Frozen gluten-free waffles.
Those are never the same every single time, no matter what.
If, God help me, I make chili mac (or hamburger macaroni, or hamburger helper, or whatever you call noodles and meat and tomato sauce all combined in a pan,) and I make it different every time? Then that child will be able to eat chili mac, even if it's not their favorite food.
Two of my kids went through a phase where they could only eat certain things, and I could always understand why they could love something one day and hate it a week later.
Turns out it's my creative, delicious, never-changing, unadaptable cooking.
I'm hoping this latest child with food preferences will adapt and overcome -- one of my older kids, who was at one point down to a list of six foods, just made excellent gumbo for Christmas and a plate of fantastic stir-fried rice at midnight tonight.
So if you're wondering why your kid wants to eat fast food but not your cooking?
It's entirely possible that it's because they hate your cooking, or because they love fast food.
It's because they don’t know they don't hate fast food. And they're sure they're going to hate whatever you're making.
(Comments, insight, discussion, empathy, as always, are welcome. But please give me advice on children and food preferences unless you have raised neurodiverse children with food aversions, have had to deal with being gluten-free and/or dairy-free for years, and understand the biology and psychology behind texture and taste sensitivities. Anyone who comments anything along the lines of, "Make them eat what's available -- eventually they're break down and eat" will be celebrated. It's like saying, "I know they're a vegetarian, but if they're hungry enough, they'll eat steak and like it." It's helpful and kind.)
Pictured is the very excellent gumbo we had for Christmas dinner.
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