Lone Wolf

Waiting until the day I recognize myself in the mirror. they/them//he/him transmasc nonbinary 21 y/o Sw: 250 lbs Cw: 212.5 lbs Gw1: 200 lbs Gw2: 170 lbs Gw3: 150 lbs Gw4: 140 lbs Gw5: 130 lbs Gw6: 120 lbs Ugw: 110 lbs 5’4

[scaredwolf]

My weight goals and their assigned date. Now I have something to keep me accountable.

I intentionally slowed down my goal weight loss bc I know that weight loss slows overtime as well as increased likelihood of plateaus.

[scaredwolf]

This is my personal account.

Follow scarredwolf for my spam account, aka where I reblog everything.

[scarredwolf]

I reblog everything from scaredwolf here to scarredwolf

[scaredwolf]

I haven’t been on this account in over a year. I don’t plan on being very active on this account anymore, but I might come back every now and again. Depends on where my thoughts are at the moment.

[ilaxian]

skinny to me is more than just a number, than a body.

It's freedom.

Freedom to be seen, to have your struggles listened to, not just heard. People will treat you delicately, love you more, treat every moment they have with you like precious gold. The feeling of being lightweight, like you are no longer a burden. All the problems you have, the heavy weight of life becomes feather-like, and suddenly, nothing can touch you.

Nothing would dare touch you, after all, they don't want to accidentally break this fragile being.

They'll nurture you, worry over you, and love you unconditionally, because they know if they don't, it's game over.

For that, I'll keep going. ♡

[cozybonez]

ed books i want to read

What I Lost by Alexandra Ballard

The Art of Starving by Sam J. Miller

Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson

Quiet in the Corner by Walt Gleeson

Elena Vanishing by Elena Dunkle

Paperweight by Meg Haston

How To Disappear Completely By Kelsey Osgood

Tiny Pretty Things by Sona Charaipotra

MASSIVE by JULIA BELL

Letting Ana Go by Anonymous

[beetlegarden]

we are not born to die!! what are you talking about!! do you think a book begins just to finish? do you think a song opens with a beautiful chord just for it to end? you don’t read the book to finish it, you read the book to eat up the excitement and the emotions it evokes!! to learn and to digest and to fall in love and be heartbroken!! you listen to the song to dance and dance and sing your throat raw!!! to cry and smile and swell with the harmonies!! yes, we are born with the inevitable fate of death, we are mortal after all, but that is merely the finale of the play!! the final act, the closing of the curtains - we are not born to take a bow and exit stage left!! we are born to love and be joyous and yell and move and learn and cry and feelfeelfeel!!!  we are not born to die, silly, we’re born to live!!!

[sexceptionul]

I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:

IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.

1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.

2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.

3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”

4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”

5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.

TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.

Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.

This post is old, but you are STILL ABLE TO GET AHOLD OF TUMBLR STAFF in an emergency: this just happened to me recently. All you have to do is email [email protected] and they will handle the situation for you. Thanks for passing this along, guys!! xo Kate

[ezzraverse333]

your body can go months when fasting, so why shouldn't i be able to go a day?

[pearlyfrosting]

Cute silly cat pictures

[m0ldyte4]

my reasons

To look back at when I'm thinking of quitting

Because I need this

To be the prettiest one in the room at all times

For the chance I'll look more masculine and less like a fat girl

To be comfortable in tight clothes

To look pretty in candid photos

To look pretty at all angles

To fit in pants even when I'm sitting and my thighs are squished

So my binder won't roll up all the time and suffocate me

To look pretty in t shirts, getting rid of the bit of fat on my elbows

To look tall and scary like a tim Burton character

To look less childish and less baby faced

So I don't look stupid eating in public

So I don't look like an overgrown baby at the beach or pool

So I don't have rashes on my thighs from walking for so long, since my thighs won't even touch when I walk

So he stops telling me how odd looking and fat my face is

So I can wear headphones without my glasses squishing my face

So I won't be the only one sweating my ass off in a room ever again

So my knee high socks become actually knee high

So I won't have to buy belts online for my huge waist

So I can find a cute piece of clothing and have it fit no matter the size

To be able to wear ANYTHING and still look good

For children's underwear and socks to fit me because they're the most fun kind

For a jaw line

For the collarbones

For the hip bones

For the ribs

For the bones on the back of my hand

To be beautiful.

[scaredwolf]

Journal Posts

5/29/23

Tomorrow I’m going to see if I can find my old scale at my parents house. I haven’t checked my weight in months bc I haven’t had access to my scale. I know that my weight is going to be in the 200’s range, but gods help me if it somehow got above 250. If I actually let myself get that fat, I don’t even know what I’m going to do.

I mean there’s fat… but then there’s me. And then there’s me… but then there’s the possibility of me being such a fat disgusting blob of patheticness that I might weigh over 250 lbs. I’m so scared but I need to know.

[scaredwolf]

6/2/23: I got a new scale

I haven’t checked my weight in months, and I’m gonna check tomorrow, and I’m freaking terrified of what it’s going to say.

On a good note, I went for a mile-long walk earlier this week, the first time I’ve gone on a planned mile walk in a while. I’ve worked 8 hour shifts the last two days. And I just went swimming for half an hour. So at least I’ve been burning some calories lately. I’ve been doing okay with my food intake… a bit too high and too much junk food, but I’m broke so I got to finish what I currently have in my pantry first before I go buy healthy, lower cal options.

[scaredwolf]

6/3/23: Weigh in

My weight is 212.5!!! I can’t believe it. I was so sure it would be between 230-250. But I did actually lose weight since I last checked!!! I was so worried, but now I feel hopeful. I know I’ve lost weight, and I can keep losing weight. I’m actually on track, for the first time in months, I feel like I’m doing something right when it comes to my body.

[scaredwolf]

Journal Posts

5/29/23

Tomorrow I’m going to see if I can find my old scale at my parents house. I haven’t checked my weight in months bc I haven’t had access to my scale. I know that my weight is going to be in the 200’s range, but gods help me if it somehow got above 250. If I actually let myself get that fat, I don’t even know what I’m going to do.

I mean there’s fat… but then there’s me. And then there’s me… but then there’s the possibility of me being such a fat disgusting blob of patheticness that I might weigh over 250 lbs. I’m so scared but I need to know.

[scaredwolf]

6/2/23: I got a new scale

I haven’t checked my weight in months, and I’m gonna check tomorrow, and I’m freaking terrified of what it’s going to say.

On a good note, I went for a mile-long walk earlier this week, the first time I’ve gone on a planned mile walk in a while. I’ve worked 8 hour shifts the last two days. And I just went swimming for half an hour. So at least I’ve been burning some calories lately. I’ve been doing okay with my food intake… a bit too high and too much junk food, but I’m broke so I got to finish what I currently have in my pantry first before I go buy healthy, lower cal options.

[trouxbledprincess]

My fav thinspo/deathspo/bonespo pics atm

[starvedandconfused]

I can't wait to look like this

(all photos found on Pinterest)

[lowcalhiyoko]

b&a.

[s4dsack]

i want to be the skinny boy with pale skin and a pretty waist & a cigarette between my long thin fingers. i want to look like the dying artist

[c0ney-1sland-queen-deactivated2]

How to stop binging

Ok, so I got back into ed stuff like a month ago, and I haven’t binged once. This is (my take on) how to stop binging for good:

High restriction — Eat above 1000 cals when you’re exercising, it doesn’t matter how many cals you eat if you burn more.

Have at least one metabolism day a week — I eat around 1500 cals on saturday + sunday.

Don’t exercise every single day — Take at least 2 days to rest, especially the day(s) before you weigh yourself.

Don’t weigh yourself too often — I only weigh myself on saturday and wednesday. Seeing a bigger change in your weight can motivate you a lot more.

Drink enough water — Water really does keep you full and prevents bloating.

Try to avoid sodium — This will make you bloated and temporarily heavier.

Be kind to yourself — If you want to eat an entire cake, try eating a low cal meal before and then eat a tiny bit of cake. Cutting things out will only make you want them more.

DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE !!

hope that helps lovelies <3

[d1etc0kel0ver]

food charts