the way percy and annabeth’s nicknames are used on each other actually gives the shift from their real names to “seaweed brain” and “wise girl” so much meaning i’m going to sob
because annabeth was the first one to come up with it! she just wanted to make fun of the newly-claimed son of poseidon and prove herself to athena, and then percy steals clarisse’s nickname for annabeth (aka wise girl) and they BOTH use it to offend the other. at first. obviously they grow out of their Conflict and become friends and blah blah blah. but what i’m trying to go with this is that after becoming friends, they barely used the nicknames! it was mainly just “percy” or “annabeth,” and occasionally when they DID use it, it was to make fun of each other as friends, and it was such a private thing that you can clearly see the moments in which it WAS used was meant to be truly special for just them.
“Hey, you’re out early!” She laughed, grabbing my shoulders to keep me from tumbling into the street. “Watch where you’re going, Seaweed Brain.”
For a split second she was in a good mood and everything was fine.”
—The Battle of the Labyrinth (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book 4)
she’s clearly so excited that they’re going out on a date before the events of botl happen and she’s just thinking: ah, my silly boy….i love him so much because we just kinda collided and we’re so stupid. and🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
until later on, when rachel comes in, annabeth realizes they’re not alone and reverts to calling him percy. which also says a lot. like i mentioned earlier, this is private and special and is almost their love language, in a way.
then there are the other cases in which seaweed brain comes up (especially seaweeed brain, since wise girl, i believe, is rarely used).
one of these cases is after the explosion of the princess andromeda, where annabeth tells percy, regretfully, “I’m glad you’re not dead, Seaweed Brain.” this is because she is reassuring herself that they still have that something special, even if everything is shitty, and even if she hasn’t been around him, she still cares for him and she still cherishes the happy moments with all her heart. this is the same in percy’s case, and every time we see a shift in the way they address each other, there is so much weight in the change of name! we know what is going on in their relationship with just this, like if they’re feeling angry or if they’re sad or if they’re grieving or if they’re joking around. and i live for that. now i’m going to sob again.
'Annabeth became invisible, stuffing her Yankees cap into her back pocket.
"I've been waiting a long time for a quest, Seaweed Brain.' she said. "Athena is no fan of Poseidon but if you're going to save the world, I'm the best person to keep you from messing up."
"If you do say so yourself. I suppose you have a plan, Wise Girl?"
Her cheeks coloured. "Do you want my help or not?"
The truth was, I did. I needed all the help I could get." '
I just realized that the titan’s curse is not the first time the oracle moved because of percy. remember tlt? remember when chiron was taking percy on the tour of camp and the oracle was watching him through the window?
Do you think Hera got rid of the Achilles Curse on purpose? Or was it just a coincidence. Like, maybe the gods thought Percy was too powerful and that's why he specifically was switched instead of Annabeth and thus got washed of the curse.
anon ur mind >>>>>>
i do think that hera wanted that, specifically. i certainly don’t buy that a roman river could wash away the curse just because said curse is greek. we know that this was for plot purposes mainly (as weak as a plot as it was), but the idea of the gods purposely doing something to the little tiber makes so much sense in this context. because? it would’ve actually been better to switch up annabeth and reyna?
i know there’s some posts about this from miss @annabethsinvibilitycap , and it’s true! i mean, annabeth is a much better choice in terms of greek representation (athena being her mother and also the Conflict of her having to do her quest because the romans stole the athena parthenos) and reyna is very roman as well! like, bellona has no greek equivalent. so why not switch them for the peace hera wants? the results could be better, what with both sides realizing that romans and greeks can work together, even with a very greek demigod or with a very roman one. and you’re right, hera not choosing them has to do with percy’s curse.
it also has to do with the fact that if percy found out annabeth had been kidnapped by the gods, he would finally fucking snap—and with the curse of achilles, no less. hera knows that percy is an actual, real threat to the gods’ survival, so now i am thinking...somehow, she managed to work with that river and make it wash away the curse. was styx involved? were other gods involved?? hmm, we shall never know.
You’re my favorite person for when it comes to Powerful!Percy (your thing about Percy’s fight with Hyperion is chef’s kiss), so I was wondering what your thoughts were on Percy blowing up Mt. Saint Helen’s on accident. He really did cause a quarter million to be evacuated and almost destroyed the Northwest United States unintentionally. I Stan.
thank you!! i’m glad you like my takes because apparently everyone gets brain rot from them and we love that 💅
i’ve said this mainly in my take about hyperion but i also mention it in the one about percy fearing water, and my initial post, that i headcanon or more so i point out how percy is the ocean.
and for the mt. saint helen thing...it’s so crazy that so many of percy’s most important moments when it comes to his powers have been on accident. or, well...it’s more so that that’s how it looks like. because rereading that scene again, he kind of knew what he was doing. at least, he willingly unleashed the power that potentially created an exploding volcano.
this was one of those moments when he realizes just how much he’s capable of. the sea is inside him. all he had to do was let go. and that’s exactly what he did. so yeah, ok this time i checked, and THIS confirms my entire theory and i am losing my mind bc why do ppl not talk about this:
(this is, in context, the part where percy has to clean the stables in that ranch and talks to the naiad of the river nearby who gives him some advice)
and this naiad literally compares herself to percy. she says, “the water is within me. it is my life source.” and then proceeds to become part of the river itself. like hey!!! what if percy could do that??
and hey???? what if he did? what if he became actual water at some point?
and examining the scene of when he blows up the volcano, this is what happens:
in that moment of panic, of helplessness, he calls to the sea. he searches deep within himself. because this is what the naiad told him, which is what i’ve been saying this entire damn time!!!
and here’s the best part, which is where i’m coming from, saying that he became the water itself. at least in my interpretation:
“I shot upward from the heart of the volcano in a huge explosion, just one piece of flotsam thrown free by a million pounds of pressure.”
and we could infer that he was just thrown up in the air like trash, but i think it’s more than that. the sea is within me. again, this is what he literally says. it is CANON that he unleashed the raw, PURE power of the ocean. he became the ocean. he was part of that water mixing with the lava—because he is the ocean.
which is another thing, people debate that this is one of the only times percy demonstrates that he can cause an earthquake, and...i unfortunately have to disagree. don’t get me wrong, i love the idea of percy having dominion over the earth and totally accept it as canon with my whole heart, but it isn’t what happened here. this explosion happened because an enormous amount of water created enough pressure to make a fucking volcano explode.
and how can anyone do that if their life source wasn’t linked to the sea? how could he summon that water? that strength? because that’s what he did: he SUMMONED WATER in the middle of a VOLCANO!!! and then he proceeded to merge himself with said water. this actually reminds me of nico di angelo’s case, because he can become a literal shadow. i’m pretty sure there was this whole thing in boo where he’s kind of permanently becoming part of the darkness. so why not percy? why not have him be like that naiad, who’s life source comes from water? that’s basically what’s going on here.
and i am also considering this as a fact (yes, yes it is), because when he arrives at calypso’s island, he is on death’s door. just like nico was when he first shadow traveled. of course, there’s the part where he was thrown off the face of the earth and nearly burned alive, BUT that wasn’t his problem at all!! because leo was also thrown into ogygia, and he wasn’t in such horrible shape. the burns shouldn’t have hindered him as much, because he is still poseidon’s son—and besides, when he summoned that water, it should have healed him to some degree. no no no, he nearly died because of the way that he almost burned himself out, nearly wasted his entire life source, poured it all out into that volcano and just. became water himself. THAT’S what happened. THAT’S why hephaestus was like, “you don’t know your own strength.”
this is just the tip of the iceberg. who knows how much the ocean affects percy and how much he can affect it. would his mood change with the tides? with a storm? and what if he tries this again? what if he tries this unleashing of his own self? what if he tries to melt into water, just to see how it goes? can he willingly do it, or would that cost him just as much as that time in mt. saint helens? WHEN, i repeat WHEN are we going to see this again??? but no, we won’t see this again. rick didn’t give it to us and he never will, so i have to do all the dirty work😤
i can't stop thinking about the agony of flashes of memories coming back and him realising annabeth lied to him to spare him... aaaaaA
it's so perfect. aphrodite would love such mess, percy values loyalty and the fact that he unknowingly cheated, he knew the risk but he still did and now-
it's such a missed opportunity from rick but at least we have this. thank u and thank everyone who is adding their great ideas!
IT’S HERE - I am also very worried it will not live up to expectations. People usually get mad when I write angst so I’m a little confused lol. Also, I should probably note that I ended up getting pretty sick this weekend so, like, I think I did okay, but sick-brain sometimes is bad. That’s the only defense I got if everyone hates it lol. Also, I think I owe @deliciousdetectivestranger an apology specifically bc... Ah, well, you’ll see lol.
Other Oneshots from this AU in Chronological Order:
Prequel Oneshot: Hazel and Percy being adorable + Percy crushing on Frank
1. Percy & Nico being friends in SoN and also finding out about Frank/Percy
2. Percy meeting CHB without having gotten his memories back and being totally sold to the Roman side.
3. Percy deadass breaking his girlfriend’s heart without knowing it and also being a terrifying praetor who puts up with no BS
4. Thalia Comes to Town
5. Frank, Percy, and Hazel explore the mysterious Argo II Room
6. Gladiator Fights
7. Percy and Nico Talking
8. Grover and Tyson Visit (AKA the 3rd most popular one on the poll)
8. Percy talking to Sally on the Argo II
9. Dark Percy Casually Murdering a God because We Love That for Him
10. This One!
11. Mark of Athena Alternate Ending. That’s all I’m saying here. (To Be Written)
Percy had heavy pockets these days.
He reached into one, feeling the vial he had taken from Hercules before letting it fall again and instead clutching a piece of wood. He brought it out with a sigh, running his thumb over it. He closed his eyes.
“Souvenir of yours?” A voice asked. Percy glanced over. Of course... who else could it be?
“I wouldn’t say that,” Percy said as Annabeth walked over to him towards the stern of the ship. Percy smiled wryly at her. “I’m just keeping it safe.”
“A piece of wood?”
“It’s a magic piece of wood,” Percy grinned at her. “I can’t let it burn. My Neptune trick is to always keep it slightly damp,” he said and put it back in his pocket. “What brings you here?”
“I wanted to see if you were alright. You weren’t in your cabin... or Frank’s,” she added. Percy tilted his head at her with a weak smile. “Hedge would pitch a fit if he knew how often you snuck in there.”
“We aren’t doing anything,” Percy shrugged. “Besides, I believe the rule is no girl-boy cabinmates. It is not my fault we were not factored into this equation. Blame unconscious bias and homophobia,” he said, and Annabeth raised an eyebrow. “...Hazel and I watched a documentary.”
“Did you?” Annabeth said, face softening as Percy gave her a bashful shrug.
“We had both come to the conclusion that I might be bisexual after almost being executed - it’s a whole thing - but we decided to watch a video on it for more research purposes. Though, we did accidentally mix up the videos,” he admitted with a grimace. “Just so you know, if you research anything gay with a demographic in it... porn will pop up.”
“Oh no,” Annabeth laughed. “What demographic?”
“Well, I wanted to know if it was a Roman thing, so I looked up Roman gays, and the next thing I know, Hazel is screaming, I’ve seen things I cannot unsee in some historically inaccurate costumes, and Reyna is bursting in just in time to see the climax - literally - and it was overall just not a good day,” he said solemnly.
“Poor Hazel.”
“I’m not sure she ever fully recovered,” Percy admitted. “I mean, where she’s from, even kissing in public is pretty scandalous. I don’t think she was ready for all of that,” he said. Annabeth shook her head, giving him a fond look. It made Percy want to recoil as his stomach twisted. He needed to ask. He had to ask. He had to.
“How are you doing?” Annabeth asked before Percy could gather his courage. “You’ve been a little... upset,” she decided. “Since Hercules, I mean.”
Percy laughed.
“I didn’t think anyone noticed,” he drawled out and ran a hand through his hair. Annabeth lightly reached out and kicked him. She was more open than usual. He could see her relaxing slightly as her hair blew back to reveal her expression as... almost content.
He hated that he had to ruin it.
“Before I answer that,” he said slowly. “I need to ask you something,” he told her. Annabeth looked at him. “And I need you to swear to be honest with me,” he added. Annabeth’s brows came together slightly at that but nodded. Right. Okay. Percy took a long breath. “I got another memory back,” he said slowly. Annabeth glanced away from the waves outside the boat back to him.
“Yeah?”
“It was about Rachel,” he said. Annabeth’s shoulders tensed. “At least, I think it was Rachel. She’s a redhead, right? Green eyes? Freckles?” He asked. Annabeth’s lips pursed. She gave a curt nod.
“Yes,” she said and gave him a tight smile. “She’s a pretty girl.”
Uh-huh. Percy looked at her for a long time before continuing.
“Well, in the dream, we were standing on a beach, and she kissed me,” he explained, watching her closely. Annabeth merely nodded. He waited, but that seemed to be her only response. “It was weird, though,” he told her and turned completely so he could look her in the eyes. “Because... I remember thinking how great Rachel was - but I didn’t like kissing her. Instead, for whatever reason, I kept thinking about you,” he said. Annabeth closed her eyes. “Which is kind of a weird thing to think about when your girlfriend kisses you, right?” He asked.
“Percy...”
“And I keep thinking about when we first were on the Argo. Hazel found something that she didn’t want to show me, and you asked her to keep it a secret. Not to mention you act weird and closed-off around me - and especially around Frank,” he continued. Annabeth stood up. It took Percy a second to realize she was walking away. “I - Annabeth!” He frowned and jumped up after her.
“I’m not doing this with you,” she said when he grabbed her arm. “I won’t.”
“You promised you would tell me the truth,” he said, but she was already shaking her head. “Annabeth, please,” he said, softening his voice. “You said you would be honest with me. I need to know.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I won’t be mad, swear-”
“This isn’t about you being mad. This is about me protecting you,” Annabeth said. “Just... we aren’t ready for this conversation,” she said, and Percy shook his head. “I... No. No, I can’t,” she said, hands clenching by her side.
Percy shook his head.
“I think I already know,” he said stubbornly. “I just need you to say it,” he told her. Annabeth closed her eyes. “Did I ever date Rachel?” He asked. Annabeth kept her eyes shut - resolutely avoiding his gaze. A few seconds passed, and he didn’t think she would answer.
“No.”
“Did I date you?” He asked. Another long pause followed.
“Yes,” she finally whispered. Percy felt his heart rate pick up.
“Were we still dating when I disappeared?” He asked, and when Annabeth opened her mouth, held up a hand. “Please, please be honest with me,” he repeated quietly. Annabeth’s mouth shut back closed. When ten seconds passed without a response... he knew he had his answer. “Shit,” he whispered.
Annabeth finally turned and faced him.
“You’re angry?” She guessed. Percy bit the inside of his cheek.
“How could you not have told me this from the beginning?” He asked, not wanting to answer the question - not knowing the answer himself. Annabeth’s eyes studied him before she bitterly shook her head. “No. No, don’t do that. How...?” He began but couldn’t find the words. He took a long breath. It was one thing to think he had been dating this Rachel girl. To believe they had broken up and that Percy had done absolutely nothing wrong, but this... this was so different. “Does everyone else know too?” He asked. “Are me and Frank the only ones on this ship that doesn’t know?” He asked, and Annabeth sighed. “So Jason gets to have both his memories back and mine,” he muttered bitterly. “Great. And when were you planning on mentioning this?”
“I - I don’t know,” Annabeth managed and looked around as if trying to find the answers floating somewhere around them. “What was I supposed to do, Percy?” She asked, voice rising. He didn’t answer. He didn’t know. “I...” she began, and her voice caught. “When you went missing. I prayed. I prayed every... Every. Single. Day. To every god. And when... when I realized your memory was gone, I... I prayed again. Every single day. That... that if you remembered nothing else, you could at least remember how much I cared about you,” she said and closed her eyes. “They didn’t answer me. Gods never do,” she murmured. “And then I finally found you and... I see the way you look at him.”
“We could have fixed this sooner.”
“How? You don’t remember me,” Annabeth said. She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes for a moment. “If I told you, then all I would have done is ruin the relationship you built here. Even if you decided to get back with me, it wouldn’t have been the same.”
“I... you don’t know that,” he objected, but it sounded weak to his own ears. Percy felt as though someone had punched him in the throat. He wanted to find something else to respond with - something less betrayed and more reassuring - but he felt too much like he had been hit in the face. Dazed. Confused. Hurt.
“Look, I feel as though all I did since you’ve gone missing is pray. I wasn’t about to try it again. I wasn’t going to ask you to remember anything when you were happy. If you couldn’t remember that I cared about you, then I didn’t want to risk you losing someone else who did. I learned my lesson before,” Annabeth continued. Percy tried to focus on her words. “With Rachel. I... I wanted to be more mature this time,” she mumbled. Percy wondered what that meant. “And I wanted to do what was best for you - and before you say anything, I know that keeping it from you might not have been the right way to do it,” she said and waved a hand out, almost hysterically. Percy absently wondered if she was still talking to him or ranting to the sky. “But I don’t know the right way! I have no idea what the right way to care about you is. Nobody tells you how to handle your boyfriend being taken from you and wiped clean of anything he felt for you. I don’t know if I did it the right way, but I did care. In the only way I knew how to at the time.”
Percy was going to be sick. He needed to say something. Anything. She was in pain. Gods, there was so much pain in her voice. He hated it.
“I’m sorry,” he managed, and it wasn’t the right thing to say, but it was the only thing he knew was truly accurate to how he felt. “I didn’t mean to hurt you like this,” he said. Annabeth’s eyes snapped to him, and he hated himself more when she looked like she was about to cry.
“I know,” she said. “It’s okay. I don’t expect you to do or say anything-”
“But I do,” Percy interrupted. “I... I don’t want to be hurting you during this entire quest,” he said. Annabeth smiled weakly. “I just - I’m going to remember and then... and then I...” he trailed off. And then what? His blood went a little cold because he knew the answer. And then he would have to choose.
“Percy,” Annabeth said softly. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not. It’s... It’s not. Annabeth, I wish you-” he began but stopped. There was no use in telling her that he wished this had been handled differently. It was too late for that, and - to her defense - Percy wasn’t sure he would react differently in her shoes. “Is it really okay to you?” He asked, and she looked away, biting her lip. “It’s already out there. Might as well be honest.”
A long pause followed.
“I know,” she said and looked up at the sky. “I know. I... I don’t know!” She suddenly yelled, making him jump. “It hurts! Is that what you want me to say? That it hurts so fucking bad that I could scream? Because it isn’t just that we aren’t dating anymore. It is so much more than that-”
“Is it-”
“She’s killed you!” Annabeth shouted. Percy went silent. “You... you’re this... this Roman now, and I don’t even recognize you half the time. And I keep telling myself it isn’t your fault, and deep down, you’re still the same, but I’m even sure anymore,” she said, pacing the small space between them. Percy tried not to let the words hurt. She didn't mean them maliciously...probably, at least. “And, yeah, maybe there was a stupid part of me that... that bought into the fact we might fall in love all over again. You know, like some sort of romantic movie where we’re soulmates or something,” she said. Percy felt a lump grow hard in his throat. She laughed, but there were definitely tears in her eyes. “And she didn’t just take my boyfriend. She took you. You’ve been my best friend for five years. And... it isn’t just your memories she got rid of. There were ours too. There were things only you and I knew and remembered and... now I just have to remember them alone,” she said, and her voice broke. “And I prayed... I prayed so much... Gods, I sound like Silena,” she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest protectively.
“Silena...?” Percy asked cautiously. He immediately regretted it. He could see he had said something wrong the moment Annabeth’s face completely shattered. She slid down the pole, burying her face into her arms to sob. Shit. He stood up to move next to her.
“I miss you so much,” she whispered. “I just lost Luke. I wasn’t ready for you. I was never going to be ready to lose you,” she choked, and not knowing what else to do, he pulled her into a hug. She felt natural there, fit into his shoulder as if the only reason he had been given arms was to hold her.
Percy wished he could be angrier at this reveal. He couldn’t, though. He really, really couldn’t. It just hurt too much for him to sit here and try to swallow all the pain. Pain he had caused.
“Here. Here, Annabeth. Look,” he said and pulled out the vial of ichor. She took a shaky breath and glanced up. “This will give me my memory back. Hercules said it would,” he said and pushed a strand of her hair back. She stared blankly. “I can take it and... and...” he began, suddenly aware of the piece of wood in his pocket. His heart dropped as his other hand absently jerked back towards it.
“Why haven’t you taken it already?” She asked, sounding tired. Percy swallowed.
“I wanted to talk to you first,” he said. Annabeth closed her eyes. “I did!”
“You don’t want to remember.”
“That isn’t true,” he argued. “I mean, maybe I thought that before-” he said and cut himself off. Annabeth grimaced.
“Before you realized it was me you were dating?” She asked. Percy flinched. “Percy, you can’t just remember something because you want me to stop being sad,” she sighed. “No matter what, I’m sad.”
“No matter what?” He echoed. “Why?”
Annabeth placed a hand on his cheek. She stared at him a long time - gray eyes studying him intently.
“Because I’m hurting you,” she said finally. “Your fatal flaw is loyalty. Me and Frank. Hazel and Grover. Greeks and Romans. I know the second you have your memories back...” she trailed off and then lifted her hand, grasping the bottle Percy was holding out. “Not right now. Not right now,” she repeated and pulled the vial away. “I can keep this for now. Until you’re really ready to remember. When you want to remember,” she said and closed her eyes, letting her head hit the back of the pole behind her.
Percy stared.
“Why do you get to decide that?” He asked her. Annabeth held the vial slightly away from him, eyes flicking up in surprise. “They’re my memories-”
“You’ve never taken yourself into account,” she said slowly. “And if you won’t do it, then I can.”
“Yeah, but you just said I’m not the same person, didn’t you?” Percy asked, a fresh wave of frustration rising up. “She’s killed me, right? That precious Greek Percy that everyone misses so much. He’s dead. So why are you even still trying to protect me at all?” He asked. Annabeth’s breath hitched.
“You’re going to get your memories back. Now just isn’t the time.”
“No,” he said and stood up to step away from her. “No, you just don’t want to admit the fact that even when I do get my memories back... I still have these Roman ones too. That all this new stuff is going to stay. You just want to ignore this because you can keep fantasizing that things can go back to however they were before-”
“That’s not true!” Annabeth said, voice also rising. “You don’t even want to remember!”
“Because you know me so well,” Percy muttered. “I’m trying to do the right thing-”
“Yeah, trust me, that hasn’t changed,” she said, and Percy felt something inside him snap. He didn’t know how to respond. He felt powerless against her. Whatever she wanted, he felt like he had to do. He had to. He had betrayed her. Hurt her. She was right, loyalty was his fatal flaw, and he... he had done this to her.
“Fine,” he said, voice growing taut. “If it makes you feel better to be my gatekeeper... fine. I can make the hard decisions,” he told her. Annabeth’s eyes flashed.
“What do you mean?”
“Keep them. We aren’t going to be together right now, anyways. I’m not going to be with anyone,” he said, voice catching. “It isn’t fair to the others. There’s a war going on, and we can’t be having this kind of drama affecting us. This isn’t a soap opera. Hera brought me here to unite the camps. I thought that meant caring about them equally, but... maybe I’m caring too much,” he admitted. “I can break it off with Frank for now. Everything will be professional until the giants are gone and Olympus back open.”
Annabeth looked as if he had hit her.
“I don’t want that.”
Percy smiled weakly.
“And I didn’t want you to protect me,” he said. Annabeth flinched. “I know I cared about you. I guess since you have that vial, I might have to wait to understand how much, but...” he trailed off with a nod towards the ichor still in Annabeth’s hand. “I am sorry. Just... so, so sorry,” he whispered. Annabeth’s eyes glazed over, and she nodded, looking down.
For a second, Percy thought the conversation was done. Then she reached out and grabbed his wrist.
“The gods didn’t answer my prayers, so I just have to ask you,” she said and looked back up at him. “I don’t think you should remember everything. Not yet. But if you only know one thing... Please just know that I cared about you. I still do. In every way there is to care about someone. As family, as friends, as... more. I... I just need you to know that. I need you to know that,” she repeated, voice barely above a whisper.
Percy nodded, gently detaching himself from her.
“I guess this is what she meant,” he murmured. Annabeth looked at him. “Hera. When I first came to Camp Jupiter, she had me carry her in. She told me that my punishment would arrive on a Greek boat. I should have known it was you,” he said. “Forgetting you. Remembering you. I’m not sure. It’s just you.”
Annabeth smiled back. It was probably the saddest smile he had ever seen.
“The night you went missing, she visited me in a dream. She told me that my punishment would join me to Greece. I desperately wanted it to be Jason or Frank, but... I knew it was you. You’re the only person it could ever really be.”
Percy nodded. That felt right. Tragic, but right. Love was often a punishment on its own. It was entering into an agreement that you would lose someone, someway, somehow, someday. You just had to take a gamble and hope you had as many happy years as life would let you instead of a few short months of pain and tragedy.
He turned before she could say anything else. It was all too much for him. At least for right now. He couldn’t stand to see her in front of him knowing... knowing what... nevermind. He kept walking. Moving until he was in front of a wooden door with his hand hovering up. His hand twitched to the piece of wood in his pocket.
He couldn’t do it.
No. No, he had to. He had to.
“Percy?” He turned and almost sobbed out a cry of relief. Hazel. She was in a t-shirt of sweats, rubbing her eyes as she peered at him for a moment. “What happened?” She asked and took a step towards him. “Are you okay?”
Percy lowered his hand.
“You were right,” he said, and his voice cracked. Hazel’s brows came together for a moment before realization dawned. “It hurts,” he managed, shoulders slumping. “It hurts a lot,” he whispered.
Hazel didn’t need any other explanation as she launched herself at him, hugging tightly as if trying to squeeze the pain right out of him. He clung back, trying to remember how to breathe. The door opened with a click.
“Per-? What is happening?” Frank asked, looking between them. “What’s happened? Who’s hurt?” He asked. Percy looked at him, and Frank’s expression went guarded. “Oh,” he said quietly. Percy just nodded. “It was Annabeth, wasn’t it?” He asked. Hazel reached down and squeezed Percy’s hand.
“Yeah,” Percy said finally. “We should probably talk.”
I go absolutely feral over how the descriptions of Percy change based on whether or not he's around Annabeth. We see the most impressive descriptions of Percy when he's alone. Hazel describes him as a god, Apollo says he's intimidating, and Frank is very impressed by him. But when he's around Annabeth the descriptions of him are so much more tame. Piper calls him unimpressive and Mangus describes him as just 'some guy.' I like to think that Percy is just so relaxed and happy around Annabeth that it affects the way people view him. Different people bring out different sides of him and I love that Annabeth makes him act like a normal teenage boy who just loves his girlfriend.
never forget that annabeth was the one who extended the olive branch to percy… she was the first one to pledge their friendship. when percy was still like “why would you be nice to me” and annabeth was like “cause you’re my friend, duh” in tlt. she saw something in 12-year-old percy and said “i think i’ll keep him”
and how important this must’ve been for percy, whose fatal flaw is literally personal loyalty… “if i couldn’t trust annabeth, i couldn’t trust anyone.” you really can’t!
especially since at that point he was still struggling with self-esteem and self-image?? it was so important for him to have someone who would watch his back, take his side, stand by him who wasn’t literally his mum or grover. also in general like friendships forged when you’re 12 years old are already so intense without all the life-and-death stuff…
keep things realistic. you may think you can read 200 pages of jane eyre in one night, and honestly, you could…but you won’t unless that essay that’s 30% of your grade is due, you know, tomorrow.
you know your habits better than anyone. try to work around what you know you’re going to do. can you read about 25 pages without getting totally bored/sidetracked? well, make yourself do that. it’s only 25 pages, right?
try to accomplish one thing every day. don’t ever let your day slip away from you without doing anything. even if that “one accomplishment” is making a stupid text post on tumblr or revising your notes or washing your sheets…just be productive!
this is especially important for those of you with mental illness! having a “zero day” can really plummet your mood or set you in an unproductive rut.
if you really feel like you need a day to just chill out, napping can count as your accomplishment
don’t push studying off! you’ve probably heard this one a million times, but seriously. don’t. you’re not going to retain 10 weeks worth of information with one study session…okay, maybe you can, but do you really want to?
the best, low-effort way of remembering information is to, at first, review it often. right after you learn the material, review it a couple times during the week. maybe re-write your notes that weekend. then, the next week, visit one or two times, just glazing over parts you don’t really remember well. then, maybe once every two weeks, etc…by the time you get to finals, you’ll be familiar with all the information! trust me, it works.
organize your to-do’s. personally, i make a huge to-do list for the entire week. then, i delegate different ‘levels’ of urgency to it (see below.) you can do this however you want, but i do it this way to help me visualize how lazy i can be and not pay for it…
i tend to organize it by these ‘categories’ / ‘urgent levels’
is there a quiz on the material due soon
how likely is there to be a pop quiz
what’s my grade in the class like / how badly do i need that ‘a’
does the homework/assignment need to be turned in
etc
actually doing it:
studyspo helps. okay, i know this is kind of obvious considering i’m a studyblr, but… you see that notebook you just bought? isn’t it fucking adorable? don’t you want to make some sweet, sweet note-love to it? you know you do.
don’t spend too much time setting up your work space or browsing tumblr. seriously. you know when you’re overstepping.
have some nice playlists. preferably with music you already know! if you don’t know the song already, chances are it’s just going to become a distraction.
8tracks is a great site for this! you can make your own mixes or take a listen to one of the many, many study / chill playlists available. again, take a listen to the track on your way to class or whatever before actually trying to study with it on.
instrumentals + classical + video game music are the standard
get organized. messy = stressy. seriously. organize your desk, organize your notes. even if it’s not really your style, at least try to keep things ‘in your personal order.’ try to pretend you have your shit together. you will be so much more productive & confident if you feel in control of your situation.
if you’re a perfectionist, you may want to disregard this. really. you don’t want to put ‘tidiness’ above productivity.
taking pictures of your awesome, super-nice work space is awesome motivation. give that illusion of productivity. become tumblr famous.
if you can afford it, matching stationary and cute shit like that is super awesome feeling. it makes studying aesthetically satisfying.
take care of yourself. brush your teeth, put on that nice-smelling lotion, drink water. eating healthy foods, getting some exercise, all that good shit people tell you to do…it really is important. it’s kind of hard to focus or remain motivated if you’re miserably bloated & haven’t showered in 3 days.
especially for my neurod or mentally ill followers!
i fucked up:
repeat after me: IT’S OKAY. IT’S OKAY. we all fuck up. you’re allowed to fuck up. sometimes assignments don’t get done, sometimes we don’t do as well on tests as we’d like. it’s okay. you’re okay.
recovery. alright, so, now that we’ve accepted that we’re human beans who sometimes grow upside-down…
cuddle in a blanket, and write down what you think you did wrong. did you not study enough? do you need to go to your professors office hours? write down your ideas.
let your failure motivate you! you hit your lowest point, alright? now you can focus on doing better, even if it’s just a few points difference.
you can do some things wrong. you don’t need to get an A every single time. did you understand 50% of the material? well, that’s halfway there!
you’re not going to be perfect at everything. we all have growing pains.
well, that’s all i have to say. keep growing towards the sun, kids.
good morning to people who are touch-starved, bitches who put their shit on sock-sock shoe-shoe, people who desperately need to get railed, everyone who is not making a new year’s resolution, people who don’t go to bed until after 12, all the bitches not getting kissed at midnight next week, people who cannot swim, and as always, bad bitches who wear glasses
talk to me about molly wrapping harry gently in her arms after the battle and kissing his temple and telling him ‘you will always have a home with us’
talk to me about arthur noticing when harry gets too quiet and distracting him by asking him if he’d like to help rebuild sirius’s motorbike
talk to me about bill seeing the warning signs that harry’s been triggered into an anxiety attack and grasping his arm and telling him to ‘breathe, harry, it’s okay, you’re safe’ and sitting with him until he’s calm
talk to me about george growing even closer to harry because suddenly he understands so much better and he realizes that this kid knows, too, what it’s like to feel so fucking alone
about ron keeping track of how much harry’s eating so on the days when harry can only manage to push food around his plate ron makes sure to ply him with tea all day and asks his mum to make one of harry’s favorites for supper
about charlie getting fed up with the reporters who mob harry everywhere he goes and grabbing a camera from a bloke who will not stop snapping pictures and chucking it in a fountain
percy fidgeting awkwardly, not quite able to meet harry’s eyes, and apologising for that letter he knows ron told him about
hermione making harry look her straight in the eye and telling him it’s okay not to be okay, and harry not knowing whether to be grateful or annoyed because he suspects that she’s actually been researching whatever the hell’s happening to him
ginny letting harry have his space but also knowing when to insert herself right into that space so he can’t shut down and push everyone away because she’ll be damned if he thinks she’s going to put up with that
luna finding him at one of the many parties he’s expected to attend and asking him ‘do you suppose you’d rather be here or stuck on the bottom of the hogwarts lake surrounded by extraordinarily aggressive plimpies?’ in such a solemn voice that harry can’t help but laugh
mcgonagall taking note of the circles under harry’s eyes when he stops by the school and suggesting a visit to the hospital wing before he leaves so madame pomfrey can give him something to help him sleep
hagrid inviting harry over for tea and just letting his boy sit outside in silence, fang’s head on his knee, as hagrid works in his vegetable garden
neville asking harry if it would maybe be okay if he comes along with him to see teddy some time so during the next visit they end up sitting on the floor in andromeda’s lounge on a cloudy afternoon, these three orphans, playing pretend with stuffed animals shaped like wolves and dogs and lions
kingsley kicking harry out of the ministry for the night because ‘for christ’s sake, harry, you’ve been here for twenty-two hours and molly’s owled me TWICE now GO HOME and get some rest or i will personally throw your “chosen” arse over my shoulder and toss you into the floo’
talk to me about people taking care of harry and helping him manage his ptsd
thought i’d list out the different escapism strategies because whew, who doesn’t need some of those these days?? most of these are those that i have personal experience with but i’m sure there are more.
1. books!!! fiction books in particular. this is a classic. this is what everyone that was lonely did in middle school (me) and is a really good one. might not be that good for people that can’t see images in their head. for me when i read a really good book and i get really into it, at one point it doesn’t even feel like i’m reading anymore, it’s just a movie playing out in my head. i think a lot of us have lost this habit and have found other ways to escape the reality of our situation, but i’ve also seen a lot of people reverting back to their middle school habits during the pandemic.
2. tv-shows!! obsessing over a tv-show and bigning it is a common strategy for a lot of people. in like march/april of this year when i had school online (we’re back irl now but our cases are rising again which is worrying) i binged all of criminal minds, all 15 seasons, in about a month and a half. and i know my friends did the same thing. so binging shows is also a classic one. easier for people who can’t have images in their heads because their images are on the screen, but might also feel a bit more distant than reading a book.
3. movies. i feel like movies are harder to really escape to, unless it is a comfort movie, because you watch like two hours and then it’s over. if it’s a long series you might get up to 24 hours or more in total viewing time (lotr, harry potter, star wars, etc.) but then again they are often based on books and in my opinion it is easier to find an escape in books.
4. fanfiction. this is a good one if you have a book/show/movie/etc. that you really like and you want to explore more within that universe. there are so many different AUs to read, so many ships. there are a lot of really good sites. wattpad is often the start for many, but because of all the ads they have it isn’t enjoyable to read on there anymore. tumblr is good, often has good smut if that is something you’re looking for. fanfiction.net has stuff if you want to find a bit more obscure fics or if you’re looking for classics. ao3 is of course the queen amongst peasants. with a superior tagging system, a great warning system for triggers, as well as a huge user base, you can find ANYTHING you want here. (im talking anything, one time i found teletubbies smut, it was an experience) (i didn’t read it but it was there). ao3 is also good because you can often find a lot of y/n fics, and those are quite good if you just wanna feel like you’re dating your favorite celebrity or character.
5. music. music is always good if you’re in your feelings. there’s something for everyone and i think that no matter what genre you listen to you can find something that suits your current mood. you can also, if it is a somewhat popular artist or group, always take a deep dive into the fandom and watch all the content from when they started until now. that is what i did back in 2015/2016 when i started to listen to 5 seconds of summer. i watched all of their old videos and lives and EVERYTHING. i made sure i knew everything about them, like if i would have been a fan from the start. the thing about having music as an escapism is that personally i wouldn’t really call it that. for me, music (or the focus on the artist) is more of a temporary “obsession”. i put obsession in quotation marks because it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. i got into kpop in like february/march of this year and yeah sure i have no clue what i was like before kpop, but at least they make me laugh. kpop is also a really good way for someone to escape through music/artists. there is so many different groups or solo artists to listen to. you don’t even have to listen to kpop, there’s k-rnb,k-hiphop, k-rock. there’s c-pop and j-pop. (literally, like go onto kprofiles.com and you’ll see how much there is to see). no group sounds the same so you won’t get that issue either. the only thing you might have an issue with is if you want to be able to understand what they’re saying which you won’t unless you know korean (there’s always subtitles but from what i understand some people hate subtitles which i don’t understand at all). and you’ll always be able to find english translations of the songs, either on youtube or on lyrics sites.
6. social media. social media is a tricky one because on one hand you can definitely find content that offers an escape but on the other hand social media is full of the reality of our lives and therefore it might be hard. tiktok is good if you wanna feel like you’ve been on the app for five minutes when in reality it’s been 3 hours. for me tiktok is kinda bad, because when i get to the point that i spend hours on it every day my attention span turns into crap and i get really obsessed with it. always be careful with social media because there’s often a lot of toxic behaviour there too. i’ve seen a lot of people talk about how tiktok is turning into tumblr 2.0 (in a bad way) with (trigger warning!! thinspo, eating disorders, don’t read the next four lines) a lot of ed content as well as a lot of mental illness in general. i’ve seen comments like “time to not eat” on people’s tiktoks when the person has a “good” body (i.e. often skinny, and conventionally attractive). there’s also so much hate and insults there. as soon as anyone who is not necessarily attractive according to society’s standards, and they try to dance or they try to be funny, everyone in the comments are super mean to them. even comments like “as soon as i saw this i ran to the comments” are not nice. so if you’re gonna use social media as an escape please be careful.
those are all of the escapism strategies i can think of right now. if you have any others please reblog with them or add them in the tags!! and if you want tips on my personal favorite book series/tv shows/music groups let me know!!
