SchellseaMarie

[schellseamarie]

Day 27: April 15, 2020

I have given so many presentations to an audience of over 300, I was a master of Ceremonies for a graduation that was live streamed for parents abroad AND I have spoken in front of camera’s to talk about my job and what I was doing, but for some reason... filming a youtube video where it is all about my work and me...scares me. 

Long story short... I did it! I am so excited! I even did all of the editing for it and I am really excited to show people! I have a current struggle that I am trying to work out, but I did it and I even came up with more content!

In that sense, I had quite a bit of success today! It was a productive day, but I really didn’t want to do anything which makes it a weird feeling. I was in a bit of a vegetative state. I made sure I got stuff done, but I lounged while doing the work instead of sitting at my desk which made me feel a bit lazy, BUT THAT’S OKAY! 

I’m excited about my accomplishments, however, I definitely feel like I should stretch or something to make up for my lack of movement. 

HAHA!

[allthingseurope]

Riga, Latvia (by Dietmar K.)

[schellseamarie]

Day 26: April 14, 2020

I started quarantine feeling thankful to have a bit of a break from life. I wasn’t burnt out or anything, but I felt like I transitioned from a job that took every bit of energy I had out of me to a job where it was all me (and my business partner) and we were trying to launch a business and keep it running. 

Don’t get me wrong. I am so thankful that I now run a VA business with my business partner because she has so much knowledge and is so good at connecting with people! I just felt like I needed a break from everything because I was going non stop for so many years.

I started quarantine thankful that I didn’t have to be anywhere and that time was a construct. Eventually I became a little too comfortable there and really became unmotivated to move forward with anything. Eventually I realized that the life I was leading was not working for me. I was also losing sleep because I stayed in my room all day and all night that my body didn’t know what to do when it was time for bed. 

My sister offered for me to use the extra bedroom she has in her house so I can have another space that I could make my own and that is when things changed for me. Suddenly, having a new space allowed me to re-motivate myself. 

I have always wanted to try to do youtube because I LOVE youtube. For years, I have been telling people that I have wanted to go for it, but I was always convinced that I needed to be drunk in order to make it happen. haha. 

Well... long story short, i realized that I finally have the freedom to take this chance. I have ordered a desk that will be coming in a few weeks and I have started put my ideas into actions. 

In order for me to attempt to continue to put some type of positivity into the universe, I am going to say positive words of affirmation:

I am doing this for myself and not to impress others

I have the potential to make anything happen

I can really do anything If I stick to it and continue to learn

I encourage everyone to do something that they have always wanted to do and make it happen!

You can do this!

[schellseamarie]

Day 25: April 13, 2020

It is officially the day after Easter and I finally feel like Things are going to be okay. 

Usually I have between 10 - 15 people over for dinner over the holidays, and yesterday, there were only 4 of us. As sad as it was to not see my family, it was oddly relaxing to have a nice dinner (that was made by others and delivered to us) and not having to worry about dealing with the anxiety I have with having so many people around. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but sometimes the energy is so high with everyone that I get overwhelmed. 

It was a quiet day that concluded with some drinking, making TIkTok videos and chatting with family and friends. For the first time, I wasn’t exhausted after a holiday. 

That being said. It did allow me to to prepare for today and continue to keep on track with everything that needed to be done. Today, I have had one of the most productive days I have had in a while! I planned yesterday what I needed to get accomplished today, and I stuck to that! I have also officially set up a place in the house that I could call my own and it is so amazing to notice the change within myself. No the room is not the colour I would pick, but it was an East facing window, so I come in to a sun filled room in the morning which is so encouraging. 

Let’s see how the rest of quarantine goes!

[schellseamarie]

Day 24: April 12, 2020

I started quarantine off strong. I had a lot of work that helped to keep me busy throughout the day, and I was really appreciating the fact that I didn’t need to be anywhere at any specific time. I felt like I never stopped before and I needed to slow down for a period of time. 

Over time, the quarantine has gotten to me. I was down on myself, not feeling like I had a purpose and wasn’t too sure which direction I wanted to go in. 

Recently I have decided to follow my heart and my instincts. I am going to be doing a lot of stuff that makes me really uncomfortable, but I know that there is no better time like the present. 

Life is all about taking chances. If you don’t try, you will never know. I just have a feeling like I am headed in the right direction. If it isn’t, than atleast I have learned something.