Note: Kyungsoo is going to be here in a way on the 15th of october.

JVL
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
trying on a metaphor
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@schizosoo
Note: Kyungsoo is going to be here in a way on the 15th of october.
It's been almost half a year since you're gone and I can't fucking live without you. I'll see you soon.
{ ` sitting down near the grave, he looks up at the sky and sighs softly } I finally realized that I did so many things wrong, you know? I pushed you away when I should’ve kept you close. Hurt you, when I should’ve hugged you. I know I shouldn’t have acted the way I did.. And I’m so sorry. You don’t know how sorry I am, hyung. If I could turn back time, I would’ve been there to keep you safe, to stop you from killing yourself. If I could turn back time, I’d say yes the first time you asked me to be your boyfriend instead of hoping he will return. { ` he bites his lower lip and leans back as he lets the tears roll down his cheeks } I stole your first kiss and you gave me your virginity. I shouldn’t have been such an asshole to you, I’m sorry. If there is a way to bring you back.. I would do it. No matter what it takes, I would do it. I want you back, I need you. And I love you.
{ ` sitting down right in front of the grave, he runs his fingers through his hair and tries his best to fight back the tears as he stares at the numbers and the name engraved into the stone. it’s been a while since he last paid a visit, and he still doesn’t want to believe his beloved friend is gone; letting the tears roll down his cheeks he breaks down completely and starts to cry out loud, cursing at himself for not protecting his friend as he looks at the grave again that looks really blurry with the tears still in his eyes; he follows the lines of the name engraved into the stone with his fingers and mumbles quietly } Come back to me..
(/leaves a flower bouquet with a note saying «Death is no more than passing from one room into another, but there's a difference because in that other room you shall be able to see. Rest in piece. - Lu Han» and respectfully leaves)
✖; Goodbye.
Once again, he found himself on the floor of the bathroom with a bottle of pills in his hand. Should he try it again? He was sure this was his destiny. Nothing was ever going to get better. He would have to endure this torture for the rest of his life and he couldn't and didn't want to have to live it like this. His decision was made and there was no way he would change his mind but this time, he would make it better. He wouldn't do the same mistake. He got up and tossed the bottle away before he headed over to his bedroom. Moving over to the bed side table, he pulled open the first drawer and his eyes landed on the gun hiding in the back of it. He bought it just a few days ago, for safety. His therapist told him he should have something that will make him feel safer, meaning he should maybe get another two locks on his door or anything like that. Kyungsoo was sure he didn't actually mean a weapon. With shaking hands, he picked it up and looked into the cylinder. Four bullets. That's how much he could afford. He took a deep breath and sat down on the bed, his gaze still locked on the gun. After a moment of hesitance, he lifted it and pressed the muzzle of it to his forehead as tears started rolling down his cheeks. It would be so easy. He just needed to pull the trigger and it would be over. For real this time. No one who would find him in time and save him. He wouldn't have to see their tears. He took a deep breath, his heart hammering loudly in his chest as the faces of his loved ones flashed before his closed eyes. With a last sob, he pulled the trigger.
how could you [ want ]
to be with
{ s o m e b o d y }
like [ me ]
My human capabilities aren’t sufficient enough to help translate what my soul wants to express.
(via kaijongk)
ihu kai.
Kyungsoo loves to stuff his mouth with trophies
kyungsoo for so cool magazine
squishy adjective \skwish-ee\ ∟ do kyungsoo