::Schizoaffective- bipolar type:: Vent Blog

Welcome to my Blog! ::26:: She/Her:: Danish :: < Schizoaffective disorder- Bipolar type> Still struggling:: (sorry for the many grammar mistakes I am very bad at writing, but I am doing my best) ::

[schizzo-me-things]

In A&E now, but this time because my body is so annoying 👍 🙄

[schizzo-me-things]

Aaaa. I’m stuck

[schizzo-me-things]

⚠️abortion/miscarage referances⚠️

Almost a year later I am still grieving that bunch of cells I aborted.

I often can’t sleep, like now for example.

I still get feelings of panic. I still get triggered by abortion/ miscarriage stories on social media and references in films and tv shows as well. IT WAS JUST A BUNCH OF CELLS!! And it has affected me so much! The emotional pain was so much bigger than the awful pain I experienced during the abortion. My due date was supposed to be the 2nd of May. That day was very hard for me. I AM SOMEHOW STILL GRIEVING A BUNCH OF CELLS😭😭😭😭 how do I get out of this?????????!!?????

[schizzo-me-things]

When you are so depressed and barely functioning and your psychiatrist expecting you to be feeling great again on the lowest possible dose, is low key insulting …

[disabirbity]

Reminder that political figures, abusers, bigots and general bad people aren't "delusional", "brain-dead", "narcissistic" or "psychotic" for the horrible things they do.

They're assholes. Or arrogant. Or power hungry. Or abusive. Or bigoted. Or heavily biased. Or criminals. Or violent. Or aggressive. Or out of touch. Or genocidal. Or any other descriptive word for what they're doing that doesn't make an already stigmatised symptom any more demonised.

[angstandhappiness]

True

[schizzo-me-things]

A well needed post!

[schizzo-me-things]

I am waiting in A&E

Tell me what is the most outrageous thing a mental health professional has told you?

I am not talking about the “your are doing it for attention” kind, I mean the really bad stuff.

[schizzo-me-things]

Ok, I am back at the hospital whoohoooo😀

After feeling paranoid for a while that the police is going to hunt me down….. I came to think I should Go back——— sounds boring- I know.

I said it before on here- I should be an a psych hospita,l and honestly most of us on here should. I have been doing my best to get by, but my best is not enough anymore and I do need some extra help, not just the useless community team🤢

I have people who love me and I love them and I need to stay alive for them.3

[schizzo-me-things]

Can’t believe this was earlier today and now I am on the run hiding in a gym😂 I think “running away” gave me an adrenaline boost, I feel so much better😂😂😂

[schizzo-me-things]

Oooooooaoooaoooh what have I done???? I wish I could turn back time

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Ok anxiety kicking in, they are probably going to contact family, which is the whole reason why I escaped- for them not to be contacted😭😭😭

[schizzo-me-things]

Now private numbers are calling me (I assume the police) while I hide in a gym- a place no one would think a person with depression would hide😂

[schizzo-me-things]

Holy cow! I manage to leave A&E without anyone noticing!!!!!

[schizzo-me-things]

To all the people who say/refer to cvtting as “silly” WTF is wrong with you??!??? Why would you think that’s an ok thing to say?? Why in your head is someone cutting into their own skin, cvtting into different layers, exposing tissue, opening veins and cause bleeding a “silly” thing to do? Nothing can express how annoying and irritating I find such people.

[schizzo-me-things]

Literally wanted to cut my veins open and watch myself bleed to death, but my partner made me feel better, so I now I am much calmer. And I will probably get back to how extremely angry I was at myself earlier but, at least now I am calm…

[schizzo-me-things]

Aaaaaaaaaah I’m panicking here I want to kill myself, but I can’t 😭😭😭😭😭

[schizzo-me-things]

If anyone tells me “everyone has days like that once in a while” one more time I am going to scream, cause no not once in a while, it’s every single day. Not everyone has days like this, not even once in awhile

[schizzo-me-things]

I had a chemical abortion today, It was planned. It was the right decision but, but I feel like I am grieving😭, I feel terrible like I made a mistake. It’s probably just hormones but, it’s really sticking in my head. Hopefully it will go away very soon. A lot of stuff is going on in people’s lives and It’s not the time to make things about me. And my stupid feelings. I just want my hormones to return to normal😭 Though I will probably continue to write on here because a girl gotta vent.