Welcome to class, bitches.

My dear students, Welcome to School for Stoners. Here you will learn to contribute to society by being the best pothead you can be. We'll be covering lessons on topics such as stoner etiquette, knowing your strains, and things to do while baked out of your fucking mind. If you'd like to share your own words of wisdom, submit them to me and I will post them and give you credit. If you have any questions or need any advice, I'd love to help you out with whatever you need. Peace and love, Professor Smokey McBongwater

[schoolforstoners]

Edibles Review #1: Cheeba Chews

Potency: I had been told that a very small pinch of a cheeba chew would get me fucked up. That didn't happen. Maybe it's because I went with the quad dose instead of the deca dose. Regardless, I got through two entire chews in one weekend. The first one was split between six people in one night. We didn't really get high until the entire thing was gone. For the amount of money I spent, we could have all gotten crazy stoned several times had I bought actual weed instead of edibles. 

Duration: It took about half an hour to an hour after eating the chews for my friends and I to even start to feel high. That being said, the high lasted quite a while, up to about three or four hours. 

Taste: They tasted a bit like tootsie rolls, but still had a faint weed taste to them that I didn't enjoy. I swallowed my bites whole rather than chewing to avoid the taste. 

The high: The high from cheeba chews feels a lot more functional than a smoking high, and made me a lot less lazy. The high was very nice and calming, and I felt like my regular self, but floating on a cloud. I honestly sat here for like ten minutes trying to find a better description than "floating on a cloud", but that's how it felt to me. However, just because I felt more functional doesn't mean I was. I didn't have a filter because I didn't realize how high I was and couldn't recognize that some things can wait until I'm sober enough to judge what I should and shouldn't say.

Overall verdict: As nice as the high was, I don't think I'll ever buy these again. I found it to be a waste of money. I also found it difficult to enjoy in social settings because of reasons I have previously stated. I may try the deca dose later in life, but definitely not the quad dose. 

[schoolforstoners]

Edibles Lesson 1: Pros and Cons and My Personal Opinion

I have this issue where I keep forgetting how different the high you get from edibles is from the high you get from smoking. I bought some cheeba chews over the weekend, and I don't think it was a wise investment. 

Things to take into account when wanting to buy/make edibles:

Pros: no coughing, no smell, you can get high in public, a little goes a long way

Cons: more expensive, a lot of smell if you're baking yourself, takes quite a while to kick in

I personally am not a huge fan of the edibles high. I always tend to feel like I'm sober, but act really high because I am. That really isn't fun for me. Edibles also give me headaches and a lightheaded, sick feeling. However, some people love edibles. If you're one of those people, please inbox me and tell me why, and I'll publish it to this blog! 

[schoolforstoners]

Finally getting cheeba chews today! This will be my first time trying them. I'll post a review once I'm like a kite. Side note: I really wanna do some kind of cheeba chew challenge that would involve people eating a few whole ones and uploading videos of their high.

[schoolforstoners]

My friend Griffin high for the very first time. #weedvirginitylost

[schoolforstoners]

Im not a stoner myself but my bf is. Last year his life was really fucked up n things got way out of hand. He started smokin everyday, all day. It was an escape from life. He got better n stopped smokin but now he smokes again. Im worried. What if he loses control? I dont mind him smokin with his friends, just chillin. I mind him usin it as an escape. He lies about it 2 n gets angry if I even mention weed. He says In intolerant and narrowminded. How do I prove 2 him that Im not? What should I do

Anything can be unhealthy when used as an escape, whether it be drugs, food, alcohol, or even sleep. However, there is nothing inherently psychologically unhealthy about smoking marijuana. I don't know your boyfriend, so I can't really judge the situation. Personally, I've experienced using weed as an escape in the past. Now I smoke every day, and I feel no emotional dependence on it whatsoever. Consider that this is a possibility with him. Talk to him and ask him to explain his situation to you. Trying weed yourself could also give you a better insight, but don't do anything you aren't comfortable with. Just try to be open-minded.

Side note: I don't see him smoking weed as wrong, but I do see a problem with him lying to you...

[schoolforstoners]

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE STRAIN?

Comment here or submit a strain review!

[schoolforstoners]

STONEY HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT: STONE AND SKYPE

Are you a college student who misses getting baked with their friends at home? Are you and your stoney significant other doing long distance? FUCKING SMOKE WHEN YOU'RE SKYPING THEM. It's seriously the best thing ever. You start to forget the distance is even there because stoned. 

[schoolforstoners]

Very nice blog, please keep it up

Thanks, man! I really appreciate it.Peace and love.

[livingwrong]

So whenever I'm stoned or drunk

I write down funny things that people say, because I figure I won’t remember them the next day. So I have all of these great quotes people said stoned/drunk saved to the notes on my phone, and I figured I’d share some with you.

"What if when you set the pipe down, a meteor landed in the cul de sac, and we all caught on fire?"

"I’m not gay, but I’m for suggestions."

"Leviticus 9:11-Thou shall be a terrorist."

"I hid cigarettes in the front yard this morning."

"Trees have copious amounts of DMT in them. Therefore, trees are always dreaming."

"I’m a stoner aspiring to be a priest."

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of reality?"

"I’m the Ringo Starr of social skills; I’m failing epically, but I’m having fun."

"We should go see St. Vincent and then go give flowers to sick people."

"What if I was  a street performer, but I played in a cul de sac and only got tips from people taking U-turns?"

"What would On the Road be like if Jack Kerouac had used a GPS?"

(While smoking in the car, “A Day in the Life” by The Beatles comes on)Stereo: “He blew his mind out in a car…” My friend: “That’s what we’re doing!”

"New rule to live by: If you ever think you’re being irritated purposefully, do something outrageous incase you’re being Punk’d."

"How many pots have you smoken?"

[schoolforstoners]

STRAIN REVIEW 2: MOB BOSS

Potency: Very strong

Strain type: Sativa-dominant hybrid

Medical uses: Relieves stress, anxiety, and physical pain

Positive side effects: Made me feel happy and relaxed

Negative Side Effects: Dry eyes and dizziness

Overall rating (out of 10): 9

Comments: I love this strain. I got a terrific head high with a decent body high. I was always able to function pretty well after smoking it. I didn't get the munchies ever after smoking it, which is very rare for me. It may be the most relaxing strain I've ever smoked. It didn't make me sleepy, but it did make it easier to fall asleep. Also, it smells amazing and is sticky, so that's fun. 

[schoolforstoners]

Will be posting a review of Mob Boss as soon as my roommate goes to sleep and I can get baked as fuck

[schoolforstoners]

Okay, so, Bible paper is great for rolling.

[schoolforstoners]

ARTS AND CRAFTS LESSON 1: WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE ROLLING PAPER

If you wanna roll a joint, but don't have any papers, here are some alternative options:

1. Receipts. I personally hate rolling receipt joints. They taste gross, are a bitch to roll, and have all sorts of chemical shit in there that you don't need to put in your body. 

2. Chewing gum wrappers. These are amazing and work nearly as well as normal rolling papers. The aluminum foil ones are a bit ratchet, but the paper ones are perfect.

3. Paper towels. These are a bit annoying to roll joints out of because they're so flimsy, but once you get the hang of it, they work really well.

4. A dollar bill. This actually works incredibly well. It's a stupid waste of money, but it makes you feel like you're sticking it to The Man. 

[schoolforstoners]

do you think it's worth it to spend the extra money on dank or should I save and just buy mids?

I think it's more than worth it to spend more money on quality weed. Considering the fact that you have to smoke a lot of mids to get as high as you would with a little dank, it ends up costing you about the same. The only difference is that you won't have to smoke as much to get high with dank and the high is typically much better with dank. The only time I recommend buying mids is when making edibles, since you need so much. But even then, you're not going to get nearly as high as you would with stronger stuff.

Peace and love.  

[schoolforstoners]

Stoned and don’t know what the fuck to do with your time? I have a couple suggestions that will blow your fucking mind.

Dark Side of Oz. Watch the Wizard of Oz on silent while listening to Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” album. It lines up perfectly. It’s intense as shit. Start the album as soon as the third roar of the MGM lion at the beginning of the movie ends. Good marking point: During “Breathe in the Air”, Dorothy turns around right after the lyric “look around”. If that doesn’t happen, you can adjust accordingly. 

Alice on the Wall. So guess what happens when you watch Alice in Wonderland on silent while listening to Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”? It lines up perfectly! It’s actually pretty fucking scary how well it works. Start the first CD right when the music of the movie starts. Once the first CD is done, pause it and start the second one. Skip “Comfortably Numb” on the second CD. 

[schoolforstoners]

STRAIN REVIEW 1: ALASKAN THUNDER FUCK

Potency: Very strong

Strain type: Sativa

Medical uses: Relieves stress, anxiety, depression, pain, lack of appetite, and insomnia

Positive side effects: Made me feel happy, giggly, energetic, and hungry

Negative side effects: Dry mouth, dry eyes, dizziness, paranoia

Overall rating (out of 10): 9.5

Comments: Alaskan Thunder Fuck is one of my favorite strains. It's strong and gets me baked, but I never feel like I can't function after I smoke it. I will hang out with friends, go to class, or go to rehearsal after smoking this stuff with no problems. It has helped me a lot with dealing with stress and anxiety. I will get somewhat paranoid after smoking it sometimes, but it never makes me freak out. It's more of a feeling of thinking that everyone knows I'm high, but not really giving a shit. It has also helped me quite a bit with relieving pain. I have had issues with chronic nausea and headaches, but after smoking a bowl of ATF, I feel absolutely fine. Another great thing about ATF is that it doesn't make me sleepy, but it does make it easier for me to sleep when I need to. A little of this stuff goes a long way, so it's a very economical choice. I recommend this to everyone always. 

[schoolforstoners]

STONER ETIQUETTE LESSON 2: DEALER ETIQUETTE

1. Pay up front, in full.  None of this "Can I play you the rest later?" bullshit. Don't fucking buy if you can't pay. In my travels, I have encountered one dumb-ass dealer who let people "pay the rest later". One guy still owes him $300. Serious shit almost ended up happening to the guy who owes him money. Moral of the story: don't be that guy. 

2. Pay in cash. This should be obvious, but some people try to give their dealers checks. Do you realize how fucking sketchy that is? No dealer wants to constantly go cash large sums of drug money at the bank.

3. No change, and no $1 bills. Ideally, pay in $10s or $20s, if you're buying, for instance, a $60 eighth. If you're buying an amount that's like $200, pay in $50s and $100s. Just make this shit as convenient as possible for the person who is doing illegal shit for you and can lace your shit if you make things annoying. No one wants to keep track of a bunch of $1s and $5s. If you try to pay with change, you can go fuck yourself.

4. When going to a dealer's house, don't overstay your welcome. It's okay to chill if you're friends with the dealer, but if not, leave them the fuck alone. Go in, get your shit, and leave. 

5. If you are friends with the dealer and you're in a situation where it's cool to light up in front of your dealer, SHARE WITH THE PERSON WHO IS GOING OUT OF THEIR FUCKING WAY TO GET YOU ILLEGAL SHIT.

6. If your dealer is meeting you somewhere, or is coming to you, pay them extra for gas money. Ideally, you should always "tip" your dealer for the risk they go through for you, but that usually doesn't happen. However, if they drive somewhere for you, you have an obligation to throw in a few extra bucks.

7. Don't tell anyone who your dealer is unless you have permission from your dealer to do so. Many dealers are looking to expand their business and want you to get the word out. But many are fine with their number of customers and don't want to risk getting caught by a lot of people knowing what they're doing. If you do have permission to tell, make sure the people you're telling are reliable and won't narc your dealer out. 

8. Don't fucking complain. If you think your dealer overcharges, sells you short, or you just aren't happy with the strain you were sold, FIND ANOTHER FUCKING DEALER. Good dealers who care about pleasing their customers will go out of their way to weigh it in front of you, sell to you at a reasonable price, and get you good quality stuff for that price. If your dealer isn't doing that for you, they don't care about making the customer happy as much as making money, so telling them what's bothering you isn't going to do you any good. Just find a dealer who respects the customer as much as you respect them.

9. When buying from a new dealer, don't be an asshole. If your friend tells you about a dealer they think you can buy from, get their number, and text them letting them know who it was who told you about them and ask if it would be okay for you to buy from them. Don't text them demanding drugs, and don't show up to their fucking house either. I've seen people do this, and no good will come of it. Dealers must constantly be paranoid about getting caught because, in most cases, what they're doing is illegal. So be considerate of that by being nice and polite without giving them anything to be nervous about.

10. Don't try to exchange weed. This should be an obvious one, but a certain friend of mine (I'm looking at you, Adam) thought it would be okay to ask a dealer if he could exchange a gram of stuff he just bought for a gram of the awesome new strain our guy just got in. He didn't end up going through with asking because I didn't let him, but it did make me worried that other people out there would think that's okay. It isn't. 

11. Be responsive and easy to reach when your dealer texts/calls you. If you aren't, they have every reason to bail on you.

12. Show up to meeting places ON TIME. Like with #11, if you don't,  they have every reason to bail on you. 

13. Don't be a strain snob. It's perfectly okay to ask your dealer what strain it is you're getting, but don't ask your dealer to go out of their way to get a specific strain for you. The only exceptions to this are if your dealer is getting shit from dispensaries and can easily get whatever strain your little heart desires, or if your dealer is getting shit from Silk Road or something of that nature. However, if this is the case, be prepared to pay a little extra for gas money or shipping.