Schwergewicht

A journal of my way to a healthy weight.

[schwergewicht]

tw: negative

I over-ate and binged a lot this week, especially today. I feel like I'm about to throw up. Just looking at pictures of food or thinking of food is triggering my gag reflex (luckily I haven't thrown up yet). I feel like a pig.

[curioscurio]

The worst part is that when fat people talk about their struggles with fatphobia they're expected to ALWAYS have a disclaimer saying "Body shaming of all kinds is bad uwu even skinny shaming we're all victims of the same caliber of a body shaming society!" Lest they be seen as one of those Mean Fatties who hate skinny people and thus DESERVE to be systemically seen as unhealthy and lazy by society. I shouldn't have to reassure you that, yes, if someone tells you to eat a burger they're being an asshole. because I'm too busy being told I should kill myself for looking like a whale lol

[fatmasc]

"how to look androgynous" "nonbinary fashion tips" you are skinny im not listening to you

[fatmasc]

i just saw a tiktok of "[movie] inspired outfits nonbinary edition" and the person wore the same outfit in different colors 5 times. it was a tshirt tucked into skinny jeans. youre skinny not fashionable

[schwergewicht]

Just a quick visualization of what my body looks like right now (or better: at my starting weight) [left column] vs what it could look like a my goal weight [right column].

[schwergewicht]

btw i made a tiktok account for tracking my weekly weight changes, check it out here!

[schwergewicht]

tw: negative, body image

I hate the way I look. I'm so fucking fat it's disgusting. I gained more than 6kg this year when the goal was to lose weight. Recently, I saw myself nude in a full-size mirror and it was just gross. I'm nearly at twice the weight that my goal weight is – we're talking 115kg compared to 60kg. Seeing myself in images, videos, or even reflections ruins my mood, I just look like a mountain of fat. I always tuck in my stomach not just because it makes me look slightly better but also because fully relaxing it just hurts because the skin is being dragged. I'm such a disgusting sight I cannot stand myself and how do I cope with that? I eat like a pig. Can't walk through the supermarket without sweets ending up in my bag. It's such a waste of money too, and it's bad for my health. I just don't find the discipline and energy to get out of this spiral. Maybe I should put up my worst pictures where I look like a pile of fat next to others – either this will motivate me to work on my weight loss or it will disgust me so much that I'll throw up, which would at least purge out all that shit I'm eating.

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

[lungthief]

not to sound like a medieval peasant or a catholic but i resent anti-carb propaganda so much like bread will never be evil it is holy it is divine it is one of life’s most simple yet decadent pleasures. love is stored in the bread

[nebulover]

tired of skinny people acting like being told to eat a cheeseburger is the same thing as fat people being... denied healthcare, having a harder time finding good quality affordable clothes, being targeted by unhealthy diets and diet trends, and just general fatphobia and oppression. skinnyphobia doesnt exist lol

[nebulover]

[id: tags that say "skinnyphobia does exist it's just directed at people with eating disorders". end id.]

nope. bigotry against people with eating disorders is ableism. and even if that was "skinnyphobia", it still is nowhere near the lived experiences of oppression that fat people experience on a day to day basis. thin people, regardless of whether or not they have an ED, still hold privilege over fat people. they still benefit from being seen as "normal" and conventionally attractive. thin people, in this context, are the oppressors of fat people. the oppressors cannot be oppressed on the same axis that they are privileged.

btw fat people can and do have eating disorders as well.

[the-exercist]

via Darebee

[ink-pedia]

ig: blum.ttt

[bellafleurz]

[ms-demeanor]

In General, people who are fat as a direct result of disordered eating/unhealthy habits about mealtimes and satiation/having only had access to "empty calorie" foods/not knowing how to eat balanced, can achieve slow healthy weight loss easily as soon as they eat right, while people who are "" fat"" because they are genetically supposed to be a body type that counts as fat under BMI, can only be thin by lifelong starvation.

Hey real quick, constructing categories of "good, honest fat people who are like that genetically and are just stuck the way that they were born, the poor lambs, we should love and respect them" and "bad lazy fat people who were too stupid to eat better and had ice cream for every meal all through college who can lose weight on a whim once they just start behaving properly" isn't the Fat Acceptance Win that you think it is.

[ms-demeanor]

It is Super Fucked to think that it's possible to determine "why" people are fat like this, btw. Classist too.

"Are you fat because you're family's fat? Well, that checks out. Are you fat because your parents didn't feed you right and you lived in a food swamp and never took a health class? You could fix that if you weren't so lazy."

Also I shouldn't even have to say this but apparently I do: there's no one "reason" that anyone is fat? Like, you can't look at a fat, inactive person from a slim family and say "you're fat because you don't exercise enough" because for all you know that person has an autoimmune disorder that causes weight gain, or just has a different expression of the genes that control ghrelin and leptin than their family does, or one of a million other things. You can't look at someone who eats a whole bunch of "unhealthy" foods all the time and say "you're fat because you eat twinkies" or whatever because there are plenty of slim people out there who are going to be eating the same amount of twinkies.

it is not for you, or anyone, to attempt to determine "why" anyone is fat, and thinking that it's possible to tell the difference between the people who "come by their fat honestly" and those who "could be thin if they changed their habits" is just. Just so blatantly wrong and fatphobic.

[stability]

its weird how different your life could be if people found you more or less attractive

[bisexualcordelia-deactivated201]

mitski + body image

[killrockstar]

"this filter will show you if your teeth are yellow" "this filter will show you if your nose is perfect" "this filter will show you if your face is symmetrical" "this filter will show you if your lips are big" how about if we all blew up our phones forever

[watermlon-deactivated20211021]

finally

[watermlon-deactivated20211021]

i am so tired of ppl not watching the video and rbing with their ignorant opinions going on abt “dress for your body type” and shit like…. that’s not the point. the point is that almost everything deemed trendy and attractive is awarded these qualities BECAUSE they are worn by tall, skinny and usually white bodies.

if y’all had bothered to watch the video, you would’ve seen the comparison between gigi hadid wearing denim shorts and a regular ass shirt and a normal fat woman wearing the exact same fit, and how drastic the reception was for the latter. it’s the exact same outfit, nothing revolutionary or new, i can’t even call it fashion—denim shorts and a t-shirt. yet the fat woman was mocked relentlessly online and said she looked like a racist, while miss hadid was praised for being a trendsetter and a fashion icon.

and not for nothing but y’all have to shut the fuck up abt dressing for body types. it’s bullshit. women should be able to wear whatever the fuck we desire without needing others’ approval for whether or not our bodies are attractive enough for you to let us get out of the house or post pictures online. the most important thing is that YOU like what you’re wearing and YOU feel confident and comfortable in your outfits and your expression of yourself. wear a long skirt “even if” you’re short. wear 6 inch heels “even if” you’re 6 feet tall. wear crop tops and hot shorts and backless dresses “even if” you’re fat. cover up and take off whatever you want as long as you like what you’re wearing.