ships you with Knives (TG)
She hasalways been a bit of gloomy one. Not that she was unfriendly or something, but ina company Knives tended to keep silence and observe. Actually, that was herrare smile that attracted TG for the first time.This smile was always starting with her eyes. When something funny occurred,she didn’t burst out laughing as other girls but her eyes narrowed a bit and smalllaugh lines appeared, like tiny khors for the cheerfulness to splash out of thecorners of her eyes. Then her lips trembled and there appeared a smile – shyand quick like a lightning – touching the corner of her mouth. TG never heardher laughing loudly and to his deepest regret Knives often covered her lipswith a delicate gesture as if she didn’t feel comfortable enough showing hersmile.There was a lot to say about Knives but, again, it was her smile that attracted him forthe first time.
He never asked her about her past. Not only because that topic was kind of aforbidden one between turks, but because he felt that it was her past that madethese thin lips smile so seldom. TG didn’t try to force her to smile, didn’t tellher anecdotes and didn’t try to behave silly – when Knives smiled it was alwayssome kind of a small holiday and you don’t make holidays out of nowhere, notwith this one.He had a lot of women in his life and as every man had his own peculiar ways ofappreciating them. It had nothing to do with looks, though for Vitto looks wereimportant, but with the thing after everything – flirt, kissing, sex. The thingwas how he felt in the morning if his partner stayed till then. Sometimes hewas lying in bed and thinking ‘Cazarolla! What the fuck was I thinkingyesterday?!’ and wishing his partner to get up and leave – his bed, his room,his life forever. Sometimes mornings were all right. With Knives it was thethird way, the rare one. He liked waking up before her and lying next to her, listening to her breathing.In and out. In and out. She seemed so small next to him that he couldn’t butkept thinking ‘Lil kitten crawled into my bed’. TG would get up trying not todisturb her, take a shower and make a breakfast for two. Big deliciousbreakfast that both of them would be struggling through while watching thenews.She would leave without kissing him and he would close the door immediately.The pillow on his bed would smell of her perfume – very-very distant and fragrantlike its owner.Sometimes he thought that it’d be great if she didn’t have to…
‘…go’‘What?’ Knives looked at him with a slight surprise.‘Do you really have to go?’ repeated TG patiently and when he got no answer buta quick and a bit scared look from her which he didn’t like - oh, God, he didn’t like that look at all ‘cazyou never look like that at a person you’re sleeping with! – he tried to seekfor a work around ‘That’s not a question, you know. More like of a… generalwondering’‘General is Sephiroth, TG, and I have to go’ Knives gave him a tense andapologizing smile and in five minutes she was gone.TG lit a cigarette. He liked her, liked her much – the way she slept, the wayshe moaned while making love … even the way she has just made that stupid clumsyjoke to avoid anything vaguely reminding of conversation. But that smile she gave him before going… that was one of her smiles he didn’tlike at all. The I’m-sorry-don’t-ask smile.















