lonesome fret

(ennui from lonesomeness) Trans man | 29 | GA this blog is primarily for venting and tracking my health and fitness

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[the-memedaddy]

Meirl

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8.2 lbs until I treat myself to spiked root beer

57.3 lbs until my next BIG goal (being under 200 lbs @ 199.9 lbs)

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Tfw everyone you know reassures you that you aren’t an awful person but you don’t really believe them 👌🏻

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I feel like a loser

I don’t want to be in this body sometimes

I’m too neurotic

Nobody deserves to have to put up with me

I can’t even have online interactions without anxiety

I can’t even play video games without anxiety

I’m not good enough at anything

I’m not smart enough and I don’t know how I fooled anyone into thinking that I was

I don’t feel like a real human sometimes

I don’t know if I’ll ever function properly

I don’t feel like I’ve ever fit into this world

All I’ll ever do is let people down

I don’t know why anyone cares about me

I want to push everyone away to save them from how difficult I am

I feel like a con artist

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It’s actually embarrassing just how little it takes for me to spiral

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L'enfer, c'est les autres

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My sister just made me cry

“I've always felt insecure cause i feel like other can like meet someone and become like best friends and ive literally never had that happen.

But like I've had my best friend be there when I was born so like.

Really that's WAY better If you think about it.”

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9/24/2020

Did Easy Yoga for Complete Beginners on Daily Yoga (16 mins)

Dumbbells

~~

8 lbs

Bicep curls: 50

Lateral raises: 20

Overhead presses: 30

Chest presses: 30

—

Crunches: 40

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On Thursday, Nov 8th, 2018, I wrote on my old blog that I was in the worst shape of my life and bigger than I’ve ever been.

Less than two years later, I’m 29 years old and about the same capability of activity/weight as I was when I was 21-22.

That feels pretty good.

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Intermittent fasting progression

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Yesterday, 9/20/2020

Crunches: 50