gabba be thy gool

Abby be like frog - yearn for bog Call your reps today

[solarsyrup]

the unimaginable power of saying "huh, guess that's not for me" and moving on with your life

[romanceyourdemons]

when the blackberry bushes have thorns to discourage mammals from monopolizing the consumption of their fruits and encourage birds to spread their seeds but they don’t know that the mammal in question is ME #notdiscouraged

[romanceyourdemons]

#ow

[romanceyourdemons]

#stuck

[jame7t]

hey man it was wonderful to giggle with you tonight…

[pochowek]

I dont even need the “binky fucks my mom now” edit the originals are so much funnier

[theblueteletubby]

scrolled through the tags and saw that a lot of people weren’t blessed enough to see the edits

here it is, in all its Glory

[thelilnan]

this kills me every single time

[etirabys]

oh my goodness, one of dian fossey’s first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badly that by the time she’d gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her: “Nearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.”

[argumate]

hello, fellow apes

[spitoutthedaisyhoratio]

The lead up to that sentence is gold:

[consistantly-changing]

[Image transcript: porch. The group had been day-nesting and sunbathing when I contacted them, but upon my approach they nervously retreated to obscure themselves behind thick foliage. Frustrated but determined to see them better, I decided to climb a tree, not one of my better talents. The tree was particularly slithery and, try as I might, no amount of puffing, pulling, gripping, or clawing succeeded in getting me more than a few feet aboveground. Disgustedly, I was about to give up when Sanwekwe came to my aid by giving one mighty boost to my protruding rump; tears were running from his eyes as he was convulsed in silent laughter. I felt as inept as a baby taking its first step. Finally able to grab on to a conveniently placed branch, I hauled myself up into a respectful semislouch position in the tree about twenty feet from the ground. By this time I naturally assumed that the combined noises of panting, cursing, and branch-breaking made during the initial climbing attempts must have frightened the group on to the next mountain. I was amazed to look around and find that the entire group had returned and were sitting like front row spectators at a sideshow. All that was needed to make the image complete were a few gorilla-sized bags of popcorn and some cotton candy! This was the first live audience I had ever had in my life and certainly the least expected.]

[roach-works]

imagine some freakish not-a-human alien THING has shown up out of nowhere and is trying to get into your office building to study you. but it has no idea how to get past a revolving door. it tries for three hours. by the time it finally understands the concept of a revolving door and squeeze into the building everyone in the office is crowded into the lobby to watch and call helpful suggestions. it’s conclusively determined that the alien is definitely not a threat, except maybe to itself.

[obeliskthetormentorsfeetpics]

Addition approved

[werewolf-transgenderism]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOOPY. I LOVE YOU SNOOPY

[lemonsweet]

This is just awful

[flowerbleedme]

touches U in a very weird but non sexual way

[flowerbleedme]

[kinuko]

[eilooxara]

Oat milk was discovered much more recently than you may have known. Like many now-familiar technologies, it was found by accident during the Apollo program when NASA learned what a zero-g environment does to goat milk.

[existennialmemes]

Companies in the 2000s: You wouldn't download a car! Digital copies are still stealing, even if the original copy remains with us.

Companies in the 2020s: That digital copy, which you have paid for, doesn't really belong to you. We're removing it from your library now.

[existennialmemes]

Companies deleting media you've literally purchased is 1000x more realistically "stealing" than digital piracy, you cannot change my mind

[galaxywarp]

[mrsterlingeverything]

Having a body is the scariest thing everrrrrrr what if something happensss

[fagstaynight]

Sorry boss i cant come into work tomorrow the old jolly king just slapped his belly and leaned back in his chair with a big leg of lamb in his hand and loudly declared that the festivities shall last all through the night

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason your snacks are unsatisfying is that you need both carb and protein.

Carb starts your engine, protein keeps it going.

No carb, engine don’t start. No protein, engine dies out fast.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Easy carb add on:

Cookie

Fruit (canned or fresh)

Chips

Piece of bread

Popcorn

Crackers

Easy protein add on:

Nuts

Spoonful of nut butter

Cheese

Roasted chickpea snacks

Glass of milk (dairy or non dairy)

Small canned sausages or similar

[what-even-is-thiss]

Sugar in there.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

[nattousan]

i'm in agony, SOMEbody please help me remember what the childhood book series was that centered around critters that looked like this:

IM IN HELL WHAT WAS IT

[hrrkikshoard]

Little Critter?

[nattousan]

THATS THE BITCH

[nattousan]

alright smart-aleks, what about THIS one huh?? the dude had a really cool shading technique where he just swirled (colored pencil?) around??

[cosmignon]

Parts :)

[nattousan]

YOU GUYS ARE TOO GOOD AT THIS WHAT THE HELL

[nattousan]

ok my partner wanted in on this, I have no idea what this is

[thecrabscycle]

I GOT YOU

[nattousan]

i'm never leaving this fucking site i stg i love you all.

OK

final one

for all the marbles,

this one doesn't have an illustration bc i think it was just a kids novel but i haven't been able to find ANYTHING about it on my occasional internet queries:

kids is staying with his (grandmother?) in the woods and she warns him not to look a fox in the eyes bc they're tricksy and will swap places with you. obviously that's the first thing the little boy does and gets body snatched by a fox who uhhhh proceeds to pig out with his new little boy human hands and the boy has to trick the fox into looking him in the eyes again to switch back...

thats all i got, it's an older book i wanna say from the 60's?? 70's?? kinda the same jist of "Little Rascal"

[dyketennant]

perhaps this?

[nattousan]

A DECADE OF SEARCHING THANK YOU @dyketennant IM ORDERING THIS IMMEDIATELY

[nattousan]

ok i lied i'm back bc this is fun and i get to share some of my most deeply cherished childhood books with you all

i cannot express how much these are from memory, that's how internalized these artists and writers have become, they're a part of me now

[cryptid-of-ohio]

The first one looks like The Spider and the Fly, though the poses are a bit different.

The second one is likely Stellaluna.

I’m not sure about the third one, I will keep searching.

[cryptid-of-ohio]

I think I found the third one, though I’m the least confident about this one. Is it Creature Tech?

Unfortunately it doesn’t have a praying mantis on the cover :(

[nattousan]

[hexbugswallower]

Ants have the most badass lives of anything in the animal kingdom, life as an ant is like warhammer

[hexbugswallower]

Wake up in enormous underground cyberpunk metropolis

Venture outside with your ant buddies to forage scraps from an incomprehensible civilization of alien gods (each one several times larger than the city you've spent most of your life inside) for the glory of your GodMomEmpress

Get attacked by a platoon of soldiers from a rival megacity, they're an offshoot of your species except like twice as big (basically orks) and like 10% of them are genetically modified supersoldiers with wings

Luckily, you've been engineered from birth to spit acid so you and your antfriends successfully defeat the rival ants and their winged miniboss

Die from getting stuck on a jolly rancher

[moss-cliff]