PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
No title available
tannertan36
No title available
almost home
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
we're not kids anymore.
Cosimo Galluzzi
Stranger Things
Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Love Begins
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
noise dept.
hello vonnie
PR's Tumblrdome
One Nice Bug Per Day
Sweet Seals For You, Always
trying on a metaphor
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Brazil
seen from Denmark
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@screamingintoavaccuum
A new normal
I’ve been in the 199-206 range and holding there for about 4 months now. It feels like my brain hasn’t caught up with my eyes because looking at these pictures - it blows my mind that this is me.
I see my memories come up on Facebook and 2 years ago I was a totally different person, looks wise anyway 😅
300 lbs DOWN
SW: 546 lbs CW: 244 lbs. I cannot believe I typed that number just now! 302 lbs lost since October 2018. My oh my has my life changed so drastically in such a short period of time!! I am still in shock about it all... a word of advice to anyone reading this that is interested in weight loss surgery would be t let time happen. Let time take its course. Do not try to rush anything. Take everyday, one day at a time. All of these days will add up into pounds lost and before you know it you’ll be at your goal. I know each and everyone of you have the potential. Just let yourself have it!!! BE PATIENT.
GET IT KING
Thank you @theevilthatliterallylivesinsideu 🥰
300 lbs DOWN
SW: 546 lbs CW: 244 lbs. I cannot believe I typed that number just now! 302 lbs lost since October 2018. My oh my has my life changed so drastically in such a short period of time!! I am still in shock about it all... a word of advice to anyone reading this that is interested in weight loss surgery would be t let time happen. Let time take its course. Do not try to rush anything. Take everyday, one day at a time. All of these days will add up into pounds lost and before you know it you’ll be at your goal. I know each and everyone of you have the potential. Just let yourself have it!!! BE PATIENT.
Dating???? / 1 Yr. Update
Until recently I had been super morbidly obese and had a very poor self image of myself. I had my roux en y done on 1/29/2019 and since then have lost 286 lbs. starting weight 546 lbs - currently 260 lbs. I look and feel like a completely different person.
Until now I’ve never let myself be vulnerable and let down my walls and get to know someone on an intimate level, but this guy somehow tricked me into putting down my guard... boy was that the wrong thing to do. It was lie after lie with him. I gave nothing but honesty and that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
Where does that leave me now? I can either swear off dating or not let this get to me and move forward. My previous self would have said forever alone but the new me says this will not keep me down. I cannot let another person keep me from the love of my life. The love I deserve. My soul mate.
I’m not giving up. I’ve got some fight left in me.
Month 11 Update
December 29th will mark 11 months since my surgery. I cannot believe how far I’ve come.
Highest weight: 546 lbs
Current weight: 269 lbs
Total lost: 277 lbs
I am still shook that I have lost more than half of the person I was less than a year ago.
My life has DRASTICALLY changed... it’s hard to wrap my mind around almost every day.
The amount of joy I feel to be alive and living the life I have, I have never felt this full before!!
If you or anyone you know are interested in having weight loss surgery, please show them me. I took the doctors words to heart and I go to the gym regularly, I eat the recommended amount of protein and calories, I’ve recently been able to get my fluids to 64 oz. Your vitamins are SUPER vital to not being a zombie and in a fog.
Please take your doctors and nutritionists seriously, they know what they’re talking about. Let your guard down and accept critique, changing your behavior is the key for maximum success with your tool you’ve been given! 😊
coping mechanisms
after weight loss surgery- losing my coping thru food was a tough blow. I changed it into shopping and then weed and now cigarettes.... I can’t exercise right because the internet has told me exercising releases thc back into your body and I need to pass a drug test soon. I am counting down the days till I can go back to the gym and just run on a treadmill and lift some weights.... tomorrow is the first day without it. Trying to stay positive about work this week.... we’ll see!!!!!!!
venting my frustrations into a void where no one can see is so therapeutic.
spiraling
I’ve been running on E.
I am completely fed up with my job. I work tons of overtime and bust my ass for this company to only be shat on and reprimanded. Tuesday we’re supposed to have another “talking to” because we use our phones too much and there’s too much office chatter. I get all my work done within the time restraints my job asks and THEN SOME. I’ve been working till 11 PM most nights for my clients to meet their demands. All of this nonsense to be yelled at by management. Fuck that. I don’t need money if that’s what it takes to get it. Repo man can take my car, creditors can come after me for delinquent cards. Sure I’m ruining my credit but i won’t be talked down too like I’m a fucking child. I can just get a job where ever. They’re literally growing on trees nowadays.
6 months since surgery. I finally got the courage to post my accomplishments online... the first photo is my heaviest... 546. I can’t believe I was ever that big. I don’t even remember myself looking that way! This morning I weighed in at 318!!! I haven’t been this low in over 10 years. That is 228 lost since October 2018. I am astounded by the transformation of my body. I couldn’t be more proud of myself. I really hope someone who is struggling will see this and give them just a little spark to keep going toward their goals. I still have about 120ish more lbs I want to lose... being heavy all my life and now finally going in the opposite direction is one of the most exciting and crazy experiences I have ever done. I can’t wait to see what my “final” transformation will look like!! I can’t wait to show you all.
two month update
the doctor prescribed me prozac.
it was a slow transition but I’m now on the other side.
every morning I find something to be happy about.
exercise has become somewhat of a regular thing in my life.
going outside and enjoying nature excites me.
spending time with friends and family is the most precious thing you will ever get in this life. please cherish every moment, hold on to them.
love one another.
Today is the start
I finally saw a psychiatrist. He told me that I have major depression, go figure. I got my prescription for prozac and I’m taking it in the morning. Here’s hoping I will finally start feeling “normal” and want to do something other than hide in my room.
My therapist told me to start journaling... I hate writing with my hands so now this blog will be my journal.
It’ll be even more private than a book someone can pick up since no one follows this blog...heheh
I want to love my life – enjoy every moment. It sounds so simple yet it’s one of the hardest things to wrap my mind around.
May 7th 2019 - a day I hope to one day remember as the day I started LIVING.
small things to stay alive for
getting to see yourself grow over time
finding new music
late night drives with the person you love
warm cups of tea
the colors of a sunset
new movies releasing
seeing someone blow out birthday candles
hearing someone laugh
inside jokes
making playlists
giving people gifts
lazy days where you watch your favorite movies
baking cupcakes and frosting them
your dog waiting for you at the door
small cafes
aquarium touch pools
seeing someone’s face light up
focus on getting healthy, getting money & getting your life together
I’m actively looking for help with my mental status and every doctor I call don’t work in my specialty/are not taking new patients/call in the morning.
Why is it made to be so hard to get help?
I hate that I will lay in bed for hours and ignore things I need to do like:
Showering
Eating
Exercising
Laundry
Cleaning my room
Me: I’m scared I might secretly be an awful person and I’m just fooling everyone into thinking I’m good.
Therapist: the fact that you care so deeply about being a bad person is proof that you’re actually good. Bad people don’t mind being bad.
Me: oH NO, I have fooled her too,
tw: eating disorder, drug use
It’s been 7 months since I last binged. My triggers are stress, all kinds, mostly stresses in my home. My mother has been with this dude for almost 7 years and he’s a drug addict. He has proved time and time again that he doesn’t want to be rehabilitated. I hate that he uses my mother. I hate that when I try to talk to her about it she takes it as judgement and shuts down. I love my mother and know she deserves better. Usually instead of talking about my feelings I would just eat, a lot... because of this way of dealing with my problems I’ve gained a lot of weight throughout my life. So much that in January 2019 I was approved for weight loss surgery and have lost 100+ since October 2018. I haven’t had a trigger to eat in this time. Today I find out my moms boyfriend is using again. He lost his job two weeks ago and is doing more than his drug of choice. I want him out of this house and our lives YESTERDAY. We’re all grown adults, contribute to this house, and pay bills... except for him. He syphons my mother’s money and uses her car for god knows what. I can’t cope the way I normally would so tonight I am screaming my frustration into a void.
Good night.
