art blog(derogatory)
noise dept.
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

ellievsbear
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Today's Document
Fai_Ryy
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tannertan36
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@screamingswifts
GO 👏 THE 👏 FUCK 👏 OFF. Also, the American educational system is trash. I applaud this child’s parents for giving her a voice and standing up against bias authority.
(Can someone caption this?)
Classroom full of mostly black and brown students:
Black student: [unintelligible—and then] …and then throwing everything away beneath it because it doesn’t pertain to you. I’m sorry —
White teacher: —you know what, I’m sorry -I’m sorry…
Black student: —No, no, no…I let you talk -I let you talk, you’re gonna let me talk.
[Other students gasps]
White student: Go ahead. Finish.
Black student: I’m sorry that this is the way that it is. You’re right, it is fucked up. But white people control everything…and that’s not fair. And when anybody, any other minority tries to say anything about it or change it, we’re complaining or we’re ungrateful or all this other stuff because we still have this or that. But then you say something about ‘Oh, I don’t want—there’s too many Latinos and there’s too many—’
White teacher: I didn’t say that—
[Various students disagree]
White teacher: I said I want to control the border!
Black student: You said you don’t want this to turn into a Latin country because there’ll be too many
White teacher: I did not say that.
[Various students disagree]
Student 2: You said you want to preserve the American culture.
Black student: There is no American culture. American culture is EVERYTHING.
[Various students agree]
Random: Mayonnaise!
[Students laugh]
Black student: And because you are white and so closed-minded, you refuse to accept that, you refuse to accept—
White teacher: Don’t tell me I’m closed-minded—
Black student: Everything you’ve said to me is closed-minded.
White teacher: Just because I don’t agree with you doesn’t mean I’m closed-minded.
Black student: You don’t need to agree—I -I’ve had conversations with people that don’t agree with me, but if they at least listen and try to accept—you’re not accepting the truth.
White teacher: Why do I have to accept what you think is right?
Black student: You need to accept the truth! Not what I think is right, what is actually happening right—
White teacher: Well, let me tell you what I think. You said white people have been in control of everything….who is the president of the United States right now?!
Students: A black man!
*Various sounds of incredulity*
Black student: WITH A WHITE CONGRESS! WITH A WHITE SENATE! WITH WHITE EVERYTHING ELSE! HE DOESN’T HAVE THE CONTROL OF EVERYTHING!
Random: GO OFF
Other Random: GO OFF–
*The class is in an uproar*
Random student: YOU ARE SO PRIVILEGED THAT YOU JUST DON’T SEE IT!
White teacher: Do we have to yell?!
Black student: Yes, because I’m mad.
me: i’m really stressed
someone: just relax!!!!!
me:
Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.
To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.
I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…
Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.
Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.
One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[stifled giggling]
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.
This is the best band post
Everyone else go home
Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this
which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,
that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that
Who does that?
This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.
Julius IdontgivaFucik
More like Julius Fuckit
Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share
I haven’t been in band for years but this made me laugh so hard
I haven’t seen this post in ages and I’m dying of laughter
I didn’t think it could get better after The Foghorn Tuba Story, but it did. It got better. Bless you, MusicTumblr.
the foghorn tuba story got me
Actual Reasons Why People Were Dumped
is this post secret
Topic: Dumping reasons Level: Seinfeld
RIP, little barbell pressing dude.
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[this funny picture via lolsnaps]
Helena Bonham Carter, 1980’s.
Michael J. Fox c. 1980s.
COOLIN
Ellen Ripley alias Sigourney Weaver (Alien, 1979)