https://www.patreon.com/posts/changing-things-148983700
Me having thoughts

titsay
Today's Document

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Stranger Things
NASA
Monterey Bay Aquarium

izzy's playlists!

Discoholic 🪩
$LAYYYTER
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cherry valley forever
Keni
Show & Tell
occasionally subtle
Acquired Stardust
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Andulka
Peter Solarz

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@scribblestatic
https://www.patreon.com/posts/changing-things-148983700
Me having thoughts
SPOILERS for Uma Musume Pretty Derby, Kawakami Princess Route
---
So, I play the silly horse daughter game, and I've recently started playing more of the storyline routes.
I'm on Kawakami's storyline and she's been trying to figure out who she wants to be. She wanted to be like Princess Striker, but Kawakami came off as too self-centered, and then she started listening to some old ladies and other critics who were saying she was too rambunctious (she kinda was a lil, but they were being asses about it). Meanwhile, there was this suntanned boy who would go to her races and watch them quietly.
Now, I'm at this scene where she is speaking with others at an event and reflecting on her past behavior. Turns out, one of the old ladies was the suntanned boy's guardian or mom or something. And the boy came out.
No, seriously.
With this being what I think is a mainstream Japanese game, I was very surprised. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I was, pleasantly so.
So then, of course, the guardian/mom pushes back.
And what does Kawakami Princess, a horse girl based on a real life racehorse, say?
Kawakami Princess says Anyone Can be a Princess.
Princess is a Mindset.
I'm happy she's the first horse I'm training for June. (* ´▽`*)
Happy Pride Month!
THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL
I love when people ask "how did you learn this skill?" I just started, there's no secret. that's it. a vast majority of the time the only thing holding you back is your trepidation to start.
augh im hit with critical levels of ennui
Sometimes I have extremely vivid dreams, to the point I sometimes have difficulties determining if they actually happened or if it was a dream. Like, I've always dreamt in full color, but now, some of the more fantastical bits are absent, and I can dream something completely normal and almost mistake it as reality.
For example, I'm having a bit of trouble determining if a conversation I had about showering being cooking our flesh meat a little with soap being the wet brine seasoning was a legitimate conversation I had with my sister or if that was a dream.
It's the middle of the night, so I'll have to ask her at a much more reasonable hour if we had that convo. We probably didn't, but it really is something that I'd talk to her about, so it's entirely possible we did... Hm.
*looks down at a receipt*
Who ordered a Trash of the Count's Family fic with a side of depression?
--
Cale is very good with kids.
He doesn't seem like the type, initially. But he's genuinely good with them.
Calm, accommodating, and firm when he needs to be. A very stabilizing, comforting force.
Choi Han makes that observation one day, and Cale scoffs it off, insisting he's no better with children than anyone else.
As though the human hasn't managed to endear and sufficiently baby a severely abused dragon toddler into becoming the least selfish and most amicable of his species.
. . .
Sometimes, Cale gets a faraway look on his face. After all, staring into space is one of his favorite pastimes, as he says.
But On feels like it's different this time.
He sits at a desk, looking out the window, his left hand supporting his chin. His right one rests on his lap, thumb moving in absent circles.
It didn't happen as much before, but after Choi Han mentioned Cale being good with kids, Cale started daydreaming more often like this, with a far-off energy about him.
"...Cale?"
He turns to her.
"Hmm?"
A glimmer of red fades from his eyes.
She comes up with an excuse for having interrupted him. Something about a snack for the afternoon. It's clearly something she could've talked to Beacrox about, and both of them know it.
Both ignore it, and Cale accepts the interruption without question.
. . .
Upon realizing that Cale is actually a transmigrated Korean from his same world, there's another question on the tip of Choi Han's tongue.
A quick, silly idea.
Cale, through some failure of magical shenanigans, becoming half cat. Like, cat ears and tail, but not actually a cat beastkin.
It was supposed to turn him completely into an animal and reduce him into nothing but a mindless creature, but bro is so full of ancient powers and stuff, that wasn't gonna work. It wasn't fully ineffective though, so now he's a catboy (catman?) for a bit.
At first, they don't really notice much of a difference between his usual self and his current part cat self. He looks as haughty as ever, with the fluff of fur where his human ears were leading up to the large red ones on his head that looked, frankly, quite majestic alongside his long-furred tail. His ears and tail twitch and shift outside his control, showing his emotions much more than his expression ever would, but otherwise, there's not much more to say than that.
Except, they start actually looking at what his cat parts are saying.
*sees people leaving replies on my Tumblr ficlets*
Luo Binghe has a little chat with Ming fan
This is art in its purest form, bless amen.
KRS!Cale is a SLUT (affectionate), a WHORE (beloved), and I HATE HIM (exaggerated).
What do you mean his sense of fashion is to sometimes have his collarbones and back out because he gets toasty easily? Put your ankles away, you harlot.
What do you mean he has the physical constitution of a Victorian child and the vicious mental machinations of a New Yorkian scam artist? What a brilliant bitch!
What do you mean he's so easy to clock as autistic?? Me? Put autism on him? Noooooo...but maybe???? (It's more likely than you think!!)
What do you meaaaan he is the type to sacrifice himself for his friends but just short of dying because he knows the pain of losing those he loves and doesn't wish to inflict that upon them??
What do you meaaaaan he's willing to undergo consistent and grievous pain instead like that's a reasonable trade-off??
What do you mean he's willing to work himself to the actual bone in pursuit of a lazy life because he cannot know peace unless everyone he loves also knows peace????
WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE IS IGNORANT OF HIS OWN FEELINGS AND SIMULTANEOUSLY LONELY AND SO FULL OF AFFECTION FOR HIS FAMILY???
RAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH
I hate him so much (obvious lie).
I have joined a religion called Caleism and I'm 387 chapters into their bible.
I have so many ideas and not enough spoons.
Augh, the woes of a mortal bodyyyyyy
Svsss scumcum au where Shen Yuan becomes Shen Jiu's reflection and he gains Shen Jiu's memory and he's trying to turn Shen Jiu into a better person by coaxing him and Shen Jiu thinks he has a heart demon but is slowly coming to fall in love with the version of him that appears in the mirror, whispering sweet words and smiling at him. The version of himself he never was.
Don't... Don't do this to me.
I will write about this if you're not careful.
MY AU DRABBLEA ARE FREE FOR ANYONE TO WRITE LOLOL, IF YOU WANNA TO FOR IT! >:] (you should totes let me read it after you’re done >:]])
*cries as my hands drag my body to the keyboard*
But I already have so many AUs to continuuuuueeee...
*sigh...*
...
"Jiu-ge, you should really try being nicer to Liu-shidi. Having looked at him long enough, this one can tell he's just emotionally constipated. The man has barely considered an emotion in his life."
Shen Jiu raises an eyebrow, the Heart Demon in the Mirror prattling on as they comb through their hair.
It was a habit he already had, but this ritual has new meaning to him now.
The Mirror Demon doesn't always mimic his movements. Sometimes he defies his actions and does something else, but when he does something harmless, like caring for his body, they move in sync, like a dance to a song only they can hear.
It reminds Shen Jiu of swans, necks bent and turning in tandem.
"He's a thorn in my side."
"He's just trying to feel you out after you let him take that disciple you both wanted. Which, you were very gracious to let him do that, Shen Jiu. Besides, this one doesn't think you would've had much enjoyment with the little one running around. Your hands are full enough with the current children, especially since you've decided to take on a more hands-on approach with them."
Shen Jiu scoffs. "You're the one who suggested it."
"Which, this reflection only did because I believe you have much more to teach them directly!"
The Mirror Demon opens his eyes where he'd had them closed, his irises an inexplicable green, somewhere between moss and malachite. Shen Jiu's are slate, with frown lines seemingly etched in place. The Mirror Demon has many expressions, a swath of them, like the guilty amusement making him push out his lower lip as he continues explaining himself. It makes Shen Jiu's face look like it belongs to someone else. It feels like someone else entirely.
Someone better.
"You learned so much from your time in the streets—and I know you don't like to talk about it. You don't even have to mention or reference it. But this is the peak of the arts and strategy, and knowing how the world works in its darkest places is imperative for that, isn't it? Your experience is perfect for that role, moreso than anyone else."
His Mirror sways his head as Shen Jiu does, switching the side their hair is on and returning to combing oil into it so it's shiny and smooth. Shen Jiu's gaze lingers on the long curve of his Mirror's lithe neck.
"Your survival is nothing to be ashamed of, no matter what anyone else says."
"...Hmh."
"Don't you 'hmh' me, I mean it!"
"In what world is it good for an immortal to be sly and vindictive?"
"This one, clearly. I mean, I'm still quite pleased with how you handled the complaint from Huan Hua regarding 'training ground infractions'. Which, what kind of bullshit was that, anyway? There are villages full of people who need help, and their disciples hadn't cleared out the Viper Ocelot-Lizards in over two months, and it was right around time for hatching season, so of course there was going to be a problem! It only made sense for you to interfere in their sloppy—"
His Mirror continues, praising him for his technical subterfuge and the tonguelashing he gave those children, then the higher ups that came after those children went crying to them. Of course, back then, he and the Mirror had questioned why a semi-demonic creature was so close to a border between two immortal sects in the first place, leading to further investigations and border monitoring that continue to this day. But, it was the thought that someone else was on the same wavelength as him that really calmed Shen Jiu while Yue Qingyuan and the others questioned his insistence as needling until they too finally understood, some begrudgingly, that he was in the right.
Someone saw him and was pleased. Even if that someone looked like himself.
That someone was a better, kinder version of himself. Someone he could never be no matter how much the Mirror coaxed him with honeyed words and subtle nudging that he knew the other was doing.
That someone mimicked his movements, but in increasingly imperfect ways, the timing still just right regardless.
Loose and relaxed at the wrists. Shoulders light. Back a little hunched until he remembered to straighten it when Shen Jiu moved.
Separate, different, but with him.
His in a way no one else has ever been.
And all he has to do to get a little gratitude is egg him on, and it spills from his lips as easily as air.
Soft. Weak. Would such a silk-made thing survive outside of the mirror?
It's an inexplicable feeling. The desire to keep him in place and take him out of it one and the same.
"Jiu-ge?"
He blinks.
Shen Jiu didn't realize he had stopped combing his hair until just then, his left hand on the mirror. His Mirror's right hand mimics his, fingers separated by a pane of glass and a sliver of reality.
"Are you okay?"
...No, not one and the same.
"...Hmh."
His Mirror frowns as Shen Jiu pulls his hand away, grabbing a cloth with which to wipe his own oily finger prints clear.
"Again with the 'hmh'. You're starting to sound like Liu Qingge, you know."
"Excuse me?"
"Heh, that is more like it. Use your words, Jiu-ge."
"You use them plenty enough for the both of us. There's barely a moment since I've come to notice you where you shut your mouth."
"Hey!"
The latter is clearly the stronger desire.
LET'S GOOOOOOO OH MY GOD WE'RE SO BACK WE'VE WON THANK YOU SO MUCH RAAAH THIS IS SO AMAZING??? THANK YOU GOD!!!!
I'mma have to write some more of this some time, your idea is so
Svsss scumcum au where Shen Yuan becomes Shen Jiu's reflection and he gains Shen Jiu's memory and he's trying to turn Shen Jiu into a better person by coaxing him and Shen Jiu thinks he has a heart demon but is slowly coming to fall in love with the version of him that appears in the mirror, whispering sweet words and smiling at him. The version of himself he never was.
Don't... Don't do this to me.
I will write about this if you're not careful.
MY AU DRABBLEA ARE FREE FOR ANYONE TO WRITE LOLOL, IF YOU WANNA TO FOR IT! >:] (you should totes let me read it after you’re done >:]])
*cries as my hands drag my body to the keyboard*
But I already have so many AUs to continuuuuueeee...
*sigh...*
...
"Jiu-ge, you should really try being nicer to Liu-shidi. Having looked at him long enough, this one can tell he's just emotionally constipated. The man has barely considered an emotion in his life."
Shen Jiu raises an eyebrow, the Heart Demon in the Mirror prattling on as they comb through their hair.
It was a habit he already had, but this ritual has new meaning to him now.
The Mirror Demon doesn't always mimic his movements. Sometimes he defies his actions and does something else, but when he does something harmless, like caring for his body, they move in sync, like a dance to a song only they can hear.
It reminds Shen Jiu of swans, necks bent and turning in tandem.
"He's a thorn in my side."
"He's just trying to feel you out after you let him take that disciple you both wanted. Which, you were very gracious to let him do that, Shen Jiu. Besides, this one doesn't think you would've had much enjoyment with the little one running around. Your hands are full enough with the current children, especially since you've decided to take on a more hands-on approach with them."
Shen Jiu scoffs. "You're the one who suggested it."
"Which, this reflection only did because I believe you have much more to teach them directly!"
The Mirror Demon opens his eyes where he'd had them closed, his irises an inexplicable green, somewhere between moss and malachite. Shen Jiu's are slate, with frown lines seemingly etched in place. The Mirror Demon has many expressions, a swath of them, like the guilty amusement making him push out his lower lip as he continues explaining himself. It makes Shen Jiu's face look like it belongs to someone else. It feels like someone else entirely.
Someone better.
"You learned so much from your time in the streets—and I know you don't like to talk about it. You don't even have to mention or reference it. But this is the peak of the arts and strategy, and knowing how the world works in its darkest places is imperative for that, isn't it? Your experience is perfect for that role, moreso than anyone else."
His Mirror sways his head as Shen Jiu does, switching the side their hair is on and returning to combing oil into it so it's shiny and smooth. Shen Jiu's gaze lingers on the long curve of his Mirror's lithe neck.
"Your survival is nothing to be ashamed of, no matter what anyone else says."
"...Hmh."
"Don't you 'hmh' me, I mean it!"
"In what world is it good for an immortal to be sly and vindictive?"
"This one, clearly. I mean, I'm still quite pleased with how you handled the complaint from Huan Hua regarding 'training ground infractions'. Which, what kind of bullshit was that, anyway? There are villages full of people who need help, and their disciples hadn't cleared out the Viper Ocelot-Lizards in over two months, and it was right around time for hatching season, so of course there was going to be a problem! It only made sense for you to interfere in their sloppy—"
His Mirror continues, praising him for his technical subterfuge and the tonguelashing he gave those children, then the higher ups that came after those children went crying to them. Of course, back then, he and the Mirror had questioned why a semi-demonic creature was so close to a border between two immortal sects in the first place, leading to further investigations and border monitoring that continue to this day. But, it was the thought that someone else was on the same wavelength as him that really calmed Shen Jiu while Yue Qingyuan and the others questioned his insistence as needling until they too finally understood, some begrudgingly, that he was in the right.
Someone saw him and was pleased. Even if that someone looked like himself.
That someone was a better, kinder version of himself. Someone he could never be no matter how much the Mirror coaxed him with honeyed words and subtle nudging that he knew the other was doing.
That someone mimicked his movements, but in increasingly imperfect ways, the timing still just right regardless.
Loose and relaxed at the wrists. Shoulders light. Back a little hunched until he remembered to straighten it when Shen Jiu moved.
Separate, different, but with him.
His in a way no one else has ever been.
And all he has to do to get a little gratitude is egg him on, and it spills from his lips as easily as air.
Soft. Weak. Would such a silk-made thing survive outside of the mirror?
It's an inexplicable feeling. The desire to keep him in place and take him out of it one and the same.
"Jiu-ge?"
He blinks.
Shen Jiu didn't realize he had stopped combing his hair until just then, his left hand on the mirror. His Mirror's right hand mimics his, fingers separated by a pane of glass and a sliver of reality.
"Are you okay?"
...No, not one and the same.
"...Hmh."
His Mirror frowns as Shen Jiu pulls his hand away, grabbing a cloth with which to wipe his own oily finger prints clear.
"Again with the 'hmh'. You're starting to sound like Liu Qingge, you know."
"Excuse me?"
"Heh, that is more like it. Use your words, Jiu-ge."
"You use them plenty enough for the both of us. There's barely a moment since I've come to notice you where you shut your mouth."
"Hey!"
The latter is clearly the stronger desire.
Svsss scumcum au where Shen Yuan becomes Shen Jiu's reflection and he gains Shen Jiu's memory and he's trying to turn Shen Jiu into a better person by coaxing him and Shen Jiu thinks he has a heart demon but is slowly coming to fall in love with the version of him that appears in the mirror, whispering sweet words and smiling at him. The version of himself he never was.
Don't... Don't do this to me.
I will write about this if you're not careful.
Birdzuku Stuff
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few things more humbling than the realization that you really do write the same fic(s) over and over again
Someone mentioned on another tumblr post about how nobody complained that Agatha Christie wrote ANOTHER book about murder.
Write your story. Write it again. And again.
Okay but do you understand the TREASURE TROVE of reading a fic you enjoy and then looking at the author's page and discovering they have written multiple just like it?! That is the ultimate score!
Nobody complained that Agatha Christie wrote ANOTHER book about murder
☝️☝️☝️
People were so happy about Conan Doyle writing murders that they vigorously protested when he tried to kill his detective and write something else.
Do with that what you will