It’s Not Working: Page One Troubleshooting
As queries become more and more competitive, unprecedented pressure is being put on your first page to grab audiences (or editors, or agents) and pull them in immediately. Even when something is posted online, audiences have a tendency to keep scrolling or give up quickly if the first few paragraphs don’t impress them. If you think your first page needs work, you’ve come to the right place. Let’s do some troubleshooting.
What’s your opening scene?
You can’t have a first page without a first scene. Let’s think about the tone of your book: if you’re writing a comedy, is the first scene funny? If you’re writing horror, is the first scene scary? If you’re writing action/adventure, is your first scene exciting? This is how readers will judge if you can deliver the goods. Make sure your first scene is a reflection of what’s to come.
How do you frame your scene?
Framing refers to the way that you set up your scene for your audience. For instance, if the scene is about stealing the crown jewels, do you frame it from the perspective of the thieves? The security guard? The private eye trying to solve the crime in retrospect? Furthermore, do you start the scene with breakfast that morning, or in the middle of the heist, or afterwards when they find the jewel missing? Framing focuses on where, when, and who.
As a writer, deciding how to frame your scenes to match the tone readers are expecting is a really important tool. In terms of your first page, the most important thing to figure out is how to start it.
Once you decide how you want to frame your scene, you can make sure that your first line is the absolute starting point. What kinds of things can you start with? There are infinite possibilities, but a few work better for some genres and tones than others. Here’s a short list:
Setting Description: This places the reader where you want them immediately. It’s great for most genres because the setting you choose and the words you use to describe it will contribute to the tone. But be warned: some readers glance over setting description, so your carefully worded first impression might be skimmed.
Dialogue: This is really hard to do well, but when it works, it’s very effective. This is great for books where you want to jump right into the action. Comedy especially pops to mind, but any genre can utilize this with a lot of work. Remember, the character speaks before we know them. The readers have to have a good reason to care about their story quick, or they might not stick with what they’re saying.
Middle of the action: Running from werewolves. Walking to ask someone to prom. In the midst of a battle. Walking upstairs in the obviously haunted house. You don’t have to be writing an action/adventure to start in the middle of the action, but it works particularly well for that genre. Why wait? Put the reader in the ‘middle’ of the scene. This draws them in faster, but like dialogue, you need to have something right up front that invests the reader in the character.
Character description, third person: Now here’s a way to make readers care about your character before anything else. Like setting description, some people might skim past this, especially if you’re focusing on physical attributes (height, hair color, build) that don’t affect the plot, instead of personality ( @kirstenmcwriter and I did a podcast on this topic that you can find here). If you’re writing a slower paced, character driven story, or using a stylized narrative voice, this beginning can work well.
Character description, first person: The infamous “main character describes what they see in the mirror for some reason” start. This has gotten a lot of flack in recent years, probably because it was so overused. It isn’t inherently wrong. I like to think that any technique could be done well, with enough work and practice, but stopping the story for the narrator to describe themselves, especially in a self-aware way (think: “I should probably say something about myself now. Here’s what I look like” kind of thing) can come off as weak writing. This is really hard to do effectively, and whatever way you have of telling the audience what the narrator looks like, you don’t necessarily need that on your first page. Showing us who they are by what they’re doing or saying works better most of the time.
Waking up in the morning: Another trope that’s gotten torn apart lately. The reason people make fun of this is, again, it’s become overused, but more importantly, it usually buries the action. Starting off with waking up and going through your normal morning routine is not the escapism most readers are here for. Again, anything can be done well. This isn’t a terrible way to start for a comedy, romance, or contemporary YA, as long as it matches your tone, and there is some sort of conflict in the scene.
Dream: This is such a tempting place to start. I know it is, I’ve done it before. But the main issue people have with starting with a dream is that you’ve pulled them into one scene, and then immediately ripped them out. The world that they were sinking into, that you carefully built up, is not what they’re getting now, and some readers might feel cheated. If you are going to start with a dream, make sure what they’re waking up to is as exciting, or funny, or scary, as what they left behind.
A first page does not a book make. Don’t focus so much on your first page or scene that you neglect the rest of your book. Editors, agents, and some readers can tell when a scene has been overworked.
Don’t get caught up trying to make your first line the wittiest thing ever. I have this problem, too. You need to build a whole book, not one line.
Trust the readers to pick up on context. You don’t need to spell out every detail of the world, character, and setting on page one. Put down the necessary details and let the readers have questions- if they’re curious, they’ll keep reading.
Make sure there is some conflict. Every scene needs tension, and for tension you need conflict. I break down exactly what that means and how to get it in It’s Not Working: Scene Troubleshooting, so check that out if you need more support on that.
Proofread, then proofread again. Whether you’re querying or posting online, your first page is your first impression. Typos and grammar mistakes are not going to convince anyone to read more. Text-to-speech sites, beta readers, and reading aloud are all good ways of catching errors. I know this, because every post I make has a least three typos, and they haunt me.
Have fun with it. In theory, you enjoy writing. Don’t get stressed out. Readers can feel joy through a page, and if you enjoyed writing it, it’ll come through.
I hope that helped with some of your first page struggles. For other writing troubleshooting, you can scroll through the tag here. I post new It’s Not Working’s every Wednesday, so send an ask if you have any suggestions for other topics to cover!