Scumbrella News ATX

Bringing you the stories you want to hear and keeping you out of the $h!tstorm while we sort through all the mess for you.

[coinfarts]

I’m fine with my gas

[st-pam]

[spookygeorgie]

[ i hope no one has done this yet ]

Its Doug Dimmadad, owner of the Dadsdale Daddydome.

[vaighish]

I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE

[judithbuttplug]

[passion]

“pokemon is running out of ideas”

geodude was a rock with arms

[powerburial]

no, he also had eyes, and a mouth, and a strong brow, and a great personality

[conbiniiko]

[bigfatphallusy]

[kiskolee]

THIS.

[professorbutterscotch]

I have never thought about it in this context

that’s actually really, really creepy.

[purplespacecats]

I… fuck.

[casuallystudious-blog]

Yeah, basically.

[avoiding-catatonic-surrender-de]

I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages. 

[rosefire]

There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.

[baronessvondengler]

THE BOLDED

[andoutcamethewolf]

! ! ! !

[charlesoberonn]

Adventure

You’re in a room. What do you do?

[querty]

Scream

[charlesoberonn]

[s-y-t-deactivated20190531]

Open the door and tell the person you’re expressing yourself

[charlesoberonn]

It’s locked.

[holysnickerpuffs-deactivated201]

Look at the picture. It might e a window.

[charlesoberonn]

It’s a painting. Very handsome.

[mercuryzeta]

Take the painting off of the wall and embrace it.

[charlesoberonn]

There’s a piece of paper under it

[compostings]

Rub the moustache gently 

[charlesoberonn]

The moustache came off

[amongthespaghetti]

try key on door

[charlesoberonn]

There’s no keyhole on your side of the door

[talikitty]

Remove the poster

[charlesoberonn]

You remove the paper and put all items in your inventory

[hosbae]

EQUIP THE MUSTACHE

[charlesoberonn]

Looking good

[geonome-deactivated20161029]

Walk backwards into the void

[charlesoberonn]

You walk to the next corner of the room

[otakusapien]

Stand on the chair.

[charlesoberonn]

You appear to have reverted into a younger age. Your moustache reverted into peach fuzz.

[cobby-cobby]

sit on the chair

[charlesoberonn]

You become old. Your peach fuzz become a long white beard.

[perpetuareality]

Put the painting on the chair.

[charlesoberonn]

As you get up, you revert back to normal, but the beard remains

The handsome figure in the painting transformed into an equally handsome skeleton

[alolatotodile]

Put the key in the skeleton’s eye.

[charlesoberonn]

[abolish-everything-deactivated2]

Give the skeleton the beard

[charlesoberonn]

The skeleton rejects your offer

[onlytwitterpics]

[richharry]

[hushhatake]

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

[56blogsstillcrazy]

He too real for these fake kids

[theyjustloveme]

Before #2015 ends…

[amey-winehouse]

What a time…

[virginremy]

Great year

[b3hold-a-lady]

I forgot all about that demonic ass dress

[shitmystudentswrite]

No wonder he died.

Thomas Jefferson wasn’t even important. No wonder he died.

[weekndupdate-deactivated2016110]

Bigfoot is fake

he only calls me when he needs money or snacks or a place to hide

[arisonas-deactivated20181110]

tumblr endgames

a tub.tumblr.com reblog chain with over 1000 unique names (True ending)

the whitehouse blog accidentally reblogs furry porn (good ending)

memes are outlawed from tumblr (bad ending)