Shit My Students Write

Evidence of the true cost of educational funding cuts: a compendium of reports from the field

[shitmystudentswrite]

Birth giver

A young girl only sees other girls wearing skirts and birthing smaller humans so she too feels compelled to be an efiminate birth giver.

[shitmystudentswrite]

Mind games

There are two circles, one of them is blue one is red. What if I told you one of them was bigger? Which one would you think is bigger? The blue one? No, you are wrong. The red one? No again. Actually none of them are bigger. They are the same size. You just thought that because I told you so. This proves that humans are easily manipulated. 

[shitmystudentswrite]

Scientific racism

Racism was invented in the 1800s by scientists.

[shitmystudentswrite]

Ancient social media

This online communication is very different from older generations that witnessed the start of the internet and ancient social media platforms such as AOL.

[shitmystudentswrite]

All I know

All I know is that syphilus was created because Christopher Columbus was fucking llamas…fuckboy Chris

[shitmystudentswrite]

Rooted

By this I mean that Wordsworth is deep in the ground, planted, like a carrot.

[shitmystudentswrite]

Where should we eat?

Decisions are a lifetime skill, one that people aren’t too accustomed to. Some people can’t even decide takeout places let alone who to save and who to die. Putting that kind of pressure on a human race that has been pre-determined to take care of themselves over their fellow man is Ludacris

[shitmystudentswrite]

Choices

He then presents him with two choices with which he chooses that she is to choose which of the two should be chosen.

[shitmystudentswrite]

Capitalism by rail

If a train reaction starts and the name of my business is in that train it is a great way to gain new customers.

[shitmystudentswrite]

Period Place

The feminist theory stems from a period place.

[shitmystudentswrite]

Et tu Kanye

Now, obviously, stabbing simone repeatedly in the chest and facebook are two very different things. However, both Julius Cæsar’s death and Kanye West’s social media do prove heroism in the end.

[shitmystudentswrite]

Cat man

Masculinity is considered in many forms; hegemonic, alternative, marginalised, toxic and feline.

[shitmystudentswrite]

Ethnic work

My dad practices ethnic work. He is in construction and has hired a bunch of Mexicans to work for him. They work hard and he treats them all fairly. They deserve to get paid well for all their hard work. Other than that my family does not practice any ethnic work.

[shitmystudentswrite]

Life imitates art

Doctors are trained similarly in Canada and Sweden, they must apply for an advanced training called ‘medical school’.  Very similar to the hugely popular Grey’s Anatomy, students must complete vigorous testing and long hours studying to then endure deadly competition within hospitals.

[shitmystudentswrite]

Taxidermy

I know that “stuffed my face” is an idiom because you can’t really stuff anyone’s face, unless you are a taxidermist. 

[shitmystudentswrite]

Bible times

Now obviously, the human body has always been held in high regard, evidenced by the fact that prostitution has been around since the earliest of Bible times.

[shitmystudentswrite]

“Dictator”

Hitler was a facetious dictator.