detuned radio @seafaring - Tumblr Blog

how am I supposed to sleep knowing you are out there, the other half of my soul I’ll never meet

I keep collecting boxes of darkness like a bad hobby

Hello my little planet

Tell me

Do I look the same as the day we met

i love my (not so) little city because of all the random nights of bliss and running into random weird shops and the tons of shows that are always here and how you never know who you’ll meet. like tonight, i saw matt Bellamy at the rage against the machine concert and no one else said anything ?? So I went up to him and said ‘hi’ and he said ‘hi’ and had to catch up with his friends and that was all. last week we met joel madden, in April it was Alex Somers and Sindri…

a distorted sense of reality is now necessary

i have to be optimistic and if not, to maybe change it, else to hide under the covers and drown in melodies and pretend nothing exists. maybe i'll learn. i say i will but i run and do it again; make a rule and forget about it, then come back and break it. i'm too impulsive and i do that all the time.

#(senti)mental

now, where were we

the old familiar taste of melancholia permeates my mouth, tongue, throat. terrified of change yet wanting to dive off of the cliff regardless of whether or not i’ll be able to fly. sometimes i stare at my own fingertips and wonder if they actually belong to me. what have i created and done? i’ve been tired for so long, exhausting myself with anxiety, believing that somehow we get points for worrying. intentions matter, yes? or are the means unjustifiable by an explosive, entertaining end? but the worrying got me nowhere, still in the same place with the same desires - for once it might be grand to have someone understand...

i let go. holding on to the prison cell bars in my mind became too exhausting, just cramped my fingers into the shapes of fists. i don’t know how to embrace change even though i desperately want it. want to do more, be more, give more, be given more. anxiety creeps through the cracks but the melancholy has sufficiently smothered it. mourning the loss of who i thought i was but i reread my old ramblings and think that i still relate to her. i was young then and the world was so fucking wide with promise and opportunities for the mere fact that my age was smaller. have i gotten anywhere since then? i’m too tired of making the same mistakes by being afraid of the same things. i fucking let go. things will happen as they ought so i suppose i should just let the divine handle those sordid affairs, not worrying about the hows but just begging for a sooner answer.

i’m afraid and not afraid anymore of what will happen, leaving it to the deft hands of the divine and time. meanwhile, i watch the same characters in their rotations and wonder if the same set of people who you’ve loved really don’t ever leave you. they always come back, we used to say, not realizing how eerily accurate those words were. they stay back if you wan’t them to. i don’t care. i let go with the aim of finding myself this time and trusting my own mind for once, watching those lonely rotations. somehow i am still here and so are you. so what now?

#(senti)mental

Finally found it

Poems, 1999

#Books of Albion

oldfilmsflicker

“Poem (Instant coffee)” by Frank O’Hara

#frank o’hara

beeishappy

When did you decide, and how did you decide to form the band?

The Last Shadow Puppets on The Late Late Show with James Corden | 19.04.2016

through the looking glass, july 2001

#pd #Books of Albion

oh it’s been a long time

not exactly returned but hell it’s bittersweet to see all the memories here, the friends, good things, very good things, and also me in a very strange headspace. all these things are here immortalized (the american with the ‘z’), a testament that we were here and we did this and talked about these things. i never know how i feel looking back - whether i’m happy or nostalgic and nostalgic has never tasted good for me as much as i’d like it to. i never knew how to get over a past love. it’s been years...

it’s brilliant though to see people are carrying on as we once did, as I once did and maybe will? i don’t know. just wanted to check in so that i’m not just a lurker. we’re grown up and perpetually navigating what that means and yet i truly love that we still get to share these things that we once loved, those things never leave us. and if you and i do, that’s brilliant and will be just as beautiful and if you want to, i’ll be here.

greetings from the otherside of the world, it’s nice to meet you (again).

#(senti)mental

violentwavesofemotion-deactivat

I have loved, really loved, a few people and it always seemed to be tragic or something equally neurotic. When I am with you I feel happy. I guess that sentence says the whole thing and says what I meant in the first place.

Anne Sexton, from A Self-Portrait In Letters (via violentwavesofemotion)

stfuprolifers

They introduce themselves as pro-life. And I say, ‘Oh, I’m so glad. You must be fighting for healthcare for the poor.’ And they look at me like I’m bonkers.

-Sheila Walsh, a Catholic nun (via ereyes312)

#when you get called out by a nun

(via windscurve)