the art of aching,

she caught everyone's gaze and held it until it hurt

[seafind]

#SEAFIND ––––––––––––––––– ;

𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭. 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝. 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭. 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐢𝐭.

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an independent and selective nami from oda's one piece, primarily set in the east blue saga / the arabasta saga. a study in fighting for survival, grief so poignant it's an anchor, and navigating stormy seas. may contain sea/ocean horror, violence, and trauma + ptsd. animated by dollie.

[sugurau]

THE CORRUPTION BEGINS WITH THE MOUTH, THE TONGUE, THE WANTING. THE FIRST POEM IN THE WORLD IS I WANT TO EAT. ©️

suguru getō. penned by dollie.

[seafind]

hello i'm overcoming illness to say that i did on a whim decide to bring my suguru blog to life

[weltenwellen]

BEE LB, from "friction polish"

[weltenwellen]

Franny Choi, from "I Guess By Now I Thought I’d Be Done With Shame"

[seafind]

i'm home and itching to do some writing <3

[edenmemes]

red dead redemption 1 starters

❝ it’s wanting that gets so many folks in trouble. ❞ ❝ it ain’t no secret i didn’t get these scars falling over in church. ❞ ❝ if you win power, remember why you wanted it. ❞ ❝ you do a man wrong, he’ll shoot you for it. you do a man right…well, he still may shoot you for it. ❞ ❝ trust me. there’s things you’re better off not knowing. ❞ ❝ you remind me a lot of myself. how i used to be. stubborn and angry. ❞ ❝ i hope you will give me some warning if you get the sudden urge to kill me. ❞ ❝ my side wasn’t chosen. my side was given. ❞ ❝ a little sore, but apart from a couple extra scars, it will be as nothing happened. ❞ ❝ i don’t think you’re a bad person. a little stupid perhaps, but not rotten. ❞ ❝ i certainly don’t mind you asking, if you don’t mind me not telling. ❞ ❝ you are being deliberately obscure as a substitute for having a personality. ❞ ❝ so do tell me, have you needlessly risked your life since we last spoke? ❞ ❝ i came into this world fighting. and i’ll go out of it fighting. ❞ ❝ i hear you speak and suddenly i'm reminded of how the people i respected most in my life had a problem with authority. ❞ ❝ you're looking much better. considering you were almost buzzard food a couple days ago. ❞ ❝ power is like a drink. the more you have, the more you want. ❞ ❝ people don’t forget. nothing gets forgiven. ❞ ❝ sometimes in the service of what is right, you got to do terrible things. ❞ ❝ you have quite a story. i really am a little jealous. ❞ ❝ old friends make the worst enemies. ❞ ❝ i had everything, and gave it up in the pursuit of nothing. ❞ ❝ hah. you were always bad at lying. ❞ ❝ i’m not going to stand by and watch good people suffer. ❞ ❝ some trees flourish, others die. some cattle grow strong, others are taken by wolves. some men are born rich enough and dumb enough to enjoy their lives. ain't nothing fair. you know that. ❞ ❝ if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. ❞ ❝ now, if you don't mind, i'd hate to spoil such a beautiful afternoon on such beautiful land with any further unpleasantries. ❞ ❝ i, too, have a family, friend. and so that we may see our families again i suggest we part ways amicably. ❞ ❝ sometimes i tell myself that everything happens for a reason. ❞ ❝ i see the good in everybody. it’s a flaw of mine. ❞ ❝ well, try not to get yourself killed. ❞ ❝ see if you can keep your gun holstered for once. ❞ ❝ i don’t pay much attention to rumors. ❞ ❝ i swear, if it was down to me, i’d never have gone anywhere. ❞ ❝ lock all the doors. whatever happens, don’t come outside. you hear me? whatever happens. ❞ ❝ what would you care? i’m just a nuisance to you anyway. ❞ ❝ i’ve been hearing some things about you. ❞ ❝ i would rather be dead than a cynic like you. ❞ ❝ damn, a little gratitude wouldn’t kill you. ❞ ❝ trust me, i ain’t no hero. ❞ ❝ as it turns out, it's you or me. the way i see it, might as well be you. ❞ ❝ you live in a dream world. it ain’t like they tell it in books. ❞ ❝ i’m asking you to do what i say, before you get yourself killed. ❞ ❝ those who sit on the fence make a choice…in their own way. ❞ ❝ i’d do anything for you, you know that. ❞ ❝ better watch your mouth, my friend. i've cut out a man's tongue for less. ❞ ❝ there's nothing worse than a nobody thinking he's a somebody. ❞ ❝ you got it all wrong. i’ve always loved you, even now. ❞ ❝ what the hell were you thinking, going off on your own? ❞ ❝ first impressions are hard to erase. ❞ ❝ it’s a long story. too long to tell without a drink in my hand. ❞ ❝ i’m not angry. i’m disappointed. ❞ ❝ you know me. i’ll be late to my own funeral. ❞ ❝ that tone of voice ain’t so becoming on you. makes you seem all pent up and angry. ❞ ❝ you think i don’t know who you are. ❞ ❝ why don’t i get a warm and tender embrace? ❞ ❝ what do you want me to say? yippee? ❞ ❝ there’s always a choice. you’re just too blind to see. ❞ ❝ you’re not ready for that yet. one step at a time. ❞ ❝ every time you go off, i worry you’re not coming back. ❞ ❝ it didn’t have to be this way. ❞ ❝ come on now. try to look on the bright side. ❞

❝ after all i taught you…i’m ashamed. ❞ ❝ it’s easy to make promises you can never keep. ❞ ❝ we all make mistakes. i never claimed to be a saint. ❞ ❝ how does it feel to kill hundreds of men in cold blood? ❞ ❝ it ain’t the first time i had a gun to my head. ❞ ❝ you’re not perfect, and i’m sure not. but you’re better than they are. ❞ ❝ you alright? you’re not hurt, are you? ❞ ❝ this really couldn’t have gone more horribly wrong. ❞ ❝ you’re just like me. you can’t change who you are. ❞ ❝ my whole life, all i ever did was fight. ❞ ❝ you’re in no position to make demands. ❞ ❝ the bright side? there ain’t no bright side. ❞ ❝ my heart’s beating like a drum. ❞ ❝ are you sure you’re alright? i mean, i know all that business must have been hard on you. ❞ ❝ you’ll make me blush with all these kind words. ❞ ❝ i never took you for the jealous type. ❞ ❝ come now, you’re stupid, but you’re not that stupid. ❞ ❝ you’re weak. you always were. you never had the stomach for this. ❞ ❝ seems real quiet, don’t you think? ❞ ❝ you were always a hard and nasty man. ❞ ❝ see, i have nothing but your best intentions at heart. ❞ ❝ don’t talk about things you don’t understand. ❞ ❝ i guess there’s only one room for one hero in this family. ❞ ❝ for a wise man, you are a really stupid man. ❞ ❝ what would have happened if i hadn’t come along? ❞ ❝ you must have mistaken me for someone else, friend. ❞ ❝ you ain’t very talkative, are you? ❞ ❝ we cannot be too careful. the world is very dangerous. ❞ ❝ no, i’m not okay. do i look like i’m okay? ❞ ❝ you are so tense all the time. come, let’s have some fun! ❞ ❝ i will stay and fight. i am ready to die if necessary. ❞ ❝ i know i can’t change the past but i’m sure gonna do something about the future. ❞ ❝ i’ve given you no reason not to trust me. ❞ ❝ choose your tone rightly. remember who you’re talking to. ❞ ❝ there are guards everywhere. if they see you, they will kill you. ❞ ❝ it was nothing. i’m not a kid any more.❞ ❝ a lonely, forsaken place. some people say it’s haunted. ❞ ❝ i’m not sure your idea of paradise and mine are the same. ❞ ❝ maybe if you were more cordial to folks, they’d be better inclined to help you. ❞ ❝ i’ve been in far worse situations. ❞ ❝ you have the exterior of a violent man, but the soul of an angel. ❞ ❝ you’re not gonna pass out on me, are you? ❞ ❝ you’re no better. how many men have you killed? ❞ ❝ stay alert. something doesn’t feel right. ❞

❝ i'm going to hand you over to them and watch them tear you limb from limb…i'm just kidding. ❞ ❝ you love to talk badly of other people because it makes you feel better about yourself. ❞ ❝ it’s been a pleasure spending time with you. ❞ ❝ that’s a lot of sacrifice. i just hope it’s worth it. ❞ ❝ i’m not cut out for this. no, not cut out for this at all. ❞ ❝ i don’t need you to show me. ❞ ❝ men are born, and then they're formed. at least, that’s how i see it. ❞ ❝ a little flattery…now we’re finally getting somewhere. ❞ ❝ i thought you were supposed to be fearless. ❞ ❝ you are a man who has lost his spirit. ❞ ❝ if you were less secretive, people might be more inclined to trust you. ❞ ❝ me mean me no harm? this is funny. what harm could you do to me, exactly? ❞ ❝ come on, after everything we’ve been through, i think we can trust each other, don’t you? ❞ ❝ i can’t rightly believe it. just like in the books. ❞ ❝ i didn’t ask for your help back there. i owe you nothing. ❞ ❝ be careful. what’s stopping me from killing you? ❞ ❝ one day, i promise you, you’re gonna regret this. ❞ ❝ you know i’ll do whatever i can, but i have problems of my own. ❞ ❝ what would you know about leadership? ❞ ❝ you make a choice by not making a choice, you know. ❞ ❝ hold your excuses until you figure out which one to use. ❞ ❝ i'll give you a bad case of "someone just shot me in the head" if you don't hurry up. ❞ ❝ being honest though, this tastes bad enough to kill a man. ❞ ❝ do i look like i need saving? ❞ ❝ sarcasm should be beneath a man such as you. ❞ ❝ are you always this stupid or are you making an extra effort today? ❞ ❝ i don’t like to kill a man on his knees, even if he deserves it. ❞ ❝ don't forget you need me more than i need you. ❞ ❝ i’ll hunt you to hell and back. ❞ ❝ you’d best not be lying to me. ❞ ❝ let's get going. before the weather gets any worse. that sky don't look good.. ❞ ❝ thank you for telling me all that back there. it must have been hard for you. ❞ ❝ i know we ain't exactly old pals, but…have i ever done you wrong? ❞ ❝ your nobility's almost as affecting as your naivety. ❞ ❝ you are a romantic who wants to be a cynic. ❞ ❝ i apologize if i seem to be prying. ❞ ❝ strange place for a decent person to visit, if you don't mind me saying. ❞ ❝ well, you must admit…it's an unusual start to a friendship. ❞ ❝ i can’t really say i understand you. ❞ ❝ every man has a right to change, a chance of forgiveness. ❞ ❝ hello, old friend. it’s been a long time. ❞ ❝ i hope you understand now why i've been playing my cards somewhat close to my chest. ❞ ❝ nobody made my path but me. ❞ ❝ it’ll be a piece of cake. trust me. ❞ ❝ oh, don’t be so deliberately enigmatic. ❞ ❝ my word, what a difficult life you’ve lived. ❞ ❝ you have a strange sense of humor. ❞ ❝ stay and fight me, you coward. ❞ ❝ i ain't planning on staying very long. ❞

[voidealt]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤYOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN LOST AN EMPRESSㅤ

he was born of salt and sweat, muscles burning and teeth bared; a stain that would never come out. he was made to rip empires apart and the heavens were envious because he burned so brightly. 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑 : 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐕𝐎 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐎

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑭𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑩𝑶𝒀 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.  (  all of these are taken from the album ‘american beauty / american psycho’ released in 2015.  feel free to adjust to better fit your muses.  )

❛  i didn’t come for a fight.  ❜ ❛  i will fight ‘til the end.  ❜ ❛  i love the way you hurt me.  ❜ ❛  i don’t know what you’re doing to me.  ❜ ❛  the truth catches up with us eventually.  ❜ ❛  i’m coming for you and i’m making war.  ❜ ❛  i think i fell in love again.  ❜ ❛  i’m the best worst thing that hasn’t happened to you yet.  ❜ ❛  you take the full truth, then you pour some out.  ❜ ❛  we were only meant to make you live again.  ❜ ❛  we were pity sex, nothing more and nothing less.  ❜ ❛  just one mistake is all it will take.  ❜ ❛  no, it’s nothing wrong with me.  ❜ ❛  i never meant for you to fix yourself.  ❜ ❛  and i can’t stop ‘til the world knows my name.  ❜ ❛  you look so pretty but you#re gone so soon.  ❜ ❛  maybe i bit off more than i could chew.  ❜ ❛  in the end i’ll do it all again.  ❜ ❛  i think you’re my best friend.  ❜ ❛  i’ll be yours.  ❜ ❛  it’s our time now if you want it to be.  ❜ ❛  i can’t believe that you couldn’t see it coming for me.  ❜ ❛  i can work a miracle.  ❜ ❛  may nothing but death do us part.  ❜ ❛  i can’t get you out of my head.  ❜ ❛  you’ll find your way.  ❜ ❛  i’m the last one that you’ll ever remember.  ❜ ❛  i’m trying to find my peace of mind.  ❜ ❛  did you ever love her?  ❜ ❛  or did you never want to be alone?  ❜ ❛  just stay with me.  ❜ ❛  the sweetness never lasts, you know.  ❜ ❛  i am your worst nightmare.  ❜ ❛  don’t mind me, i’m just the son of a gun.  ❜ ❛  so don’t stop, don’t stop ‘til your heart goes numb.  ❜ ❛  i don’t feel a thing for you.  ❜ ❛  i said i’d never miss you.  ❜ ❛  i’ll be as honest as you’ll let me.  ❜ ❛  you are my favorite what if.  ❜ ❛  what did it ever mean to you?  ❜ ❛  oh, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean any of it.  ❜ ❛  you don’t have to lie.  ❜ ❛  i wish i’d known how much you loved me.  ❜ ❛  you can get what you want but it’s never enough.  ❜ ❛  i can’t remember just how to forget.  ❜ ❛  they say we are what we are but we don’t have to be.  ❜ ❛  i’m still comparing your past to my future.  ❜ ❛  i don’t want to remember it all.  ❜ ❛  i just need enough of you to dull the pain.  ❜ ❛  i need a new partner in crime.  ❜

[streetsrot]

❝ you tell me. ❞ she takes a small bite of bread, gnawing on the rough texture, unbothered by the quality. ❝ saw the way you jumped when you heard his voice. ❞ it'd been impossible to miss, even in the dark. ❝ not the first time i've been locked up. not even the first time i've been kidnapped. ❞ v sighs, seemingly annoyed by this, ❝ doubt it'll be the last. ❞

outwardly, she sits unbothered, but inside, fear eats away at her piece by piece. the damp darkness infects her mind, threatening to pull her deeper and deeper into desperate anguish. v silently reminds herself of the arsenal she holds in her mind. they haven't gouged her cyberdeck out yet, which means even if they'd stolen her weapons ( which she has every intention of getting back ), she is far from defenseless. she could still fry their brains with a blink of her eyes, or fracture their mental state, or short circuit all the tech in a room. v doesn't advertise herself as a netrunner, never had, but that doesn't change the fact that she is one.

❝ 'tween the two of us ... you're lookin' worse off than me. ❞ v dangles the chains, ❝ and that's a pretty shit sign. so what's the deal ? you're with 'em, aren't you ? or is that not your choice ? ❞

[seafind]

❝ my ' deal ' is none of your business. ❞ nami leans in and hisses, but the tremble of her eyes shows fear. there's something perpetually glossed to her gaze, like she is always just a little bit lost. stuck. as if she forces herself to be removed, she won't have to think about where she is.

nami scoffs, leaning back into her own personal space. ❝ you have no idea what you're dealing with. you've been kidnapped before ? not by arlong. ❞ there was no one, and nothing, like him. nothing could instill fear in her heart the way he could. nami has spent most of her life at this point under his chain and ball, and she knows there's no way out. not until he gets everything he wants. she commends v's courage, however. it's hard not to. everything she says is everything nami wants to say.

she spares a quick glance around herself, ensuring their solitude. ❝ look, ❞ she starts, voice quiet. ❝ your chances here aren't good, but if you just comply, you won't get immediately murdered. what other choices do you think you have ? ❞

[juhotookaku]

hands fell back to his side once the plush was taken. ❝ you act like they cannot rebuild. people are more resilient than you seem to be giving them credit for. ❞ of course that required there to be survivors.

idly standing around on the beach, observing the ruined village before them did nothing, so he stepped away from nami. he strolled up the beach to the first ruined home that hugged the sand.

nanami reached forward to touch the charred wooden frame. it was all that was really left. ❝ if we knew who did this, i doubt we'd still be here. ❞ he answered as he moved past the first house, head turning slowly to look toward the next two coming up on his right. whoever did this was still there. the wood still smoked and cinders still burned amongst some of them but there was no indication of who did this— but he did spot a set of footprints leading away from on of the ruined structures.

❝ there are people here. ❞

[seafind]

her sensitivity was her flaw. her weakness. nami hesitates, falters, unable to approach the burnt village for a moment with all that she feels for it. there's an uncomfortable grief that sits inside of you, see, when your memories are not fully healed over. coco village is safe enough, yes, but the horrors nami's seen linger like infection. perhaps she's never bothered to clear it, perhaps she doesn't know how.

❝ people ? ❞ it brings her back to full attention now, the hope that maybe, just maybe, someone lives. someone to save. nami swipes at wet cheeks before nanami can see, and then she's darting up the beach to where the man stands. nami takes a look around, taking in the destruction and sadness, looking for a person.

footsteps, actually, are perhaps even more promising. she exhales something shaky. ❝ it could be the bad guys. ❞ she warns, but it's just something she does to keep herself from being so hopeful of signs of life. ❝ we could be getting in over our heads. ❞ the warning is banshee - sharp on her tongue, but nami is already following the footsteps.

[flowerytale]

Robert Goolrick, from The End of the World as We Know It: Scenes from a Life

[bled]

via vsco.co

[seafind]

the night is warm. sea breeze feels like some kind of salve to the skin, the heart, the soul, as nami takes a deep inhale of what she's called home for so long. the ocean was a dangerous thing, and yet nami felt nothing but comfort when staring out into it. on the horizon is a storm, powerful and dangerous. there's no doubt in her mind that it's capsizing boats right now, but all she feels is serenity.

a throat clears behind her, bringing her from her daze. nami turns to find sanji with his back straight, head up, elbow extended as if in invitation. she raises her brows with thinly veiled amusement. ❝ you want me to ——— ❞ the tangerine - haired girl trails off, sarcasm on her tongue. ❝ come on, humor me. ❞ @lovehungered says, and nami sighs.

she's in good spirits. as much as sea life calls to her, it's nice to have land breaks. with a roll of her eyes that's more for show than anything, she locks elbows with him, slipping her arm into the space he left for her. ❝ fine. wherever we're going better be good, you know. ❞

[goodsirs]

Emily Rudd as Nami in One Piece — 1.08 "Worst in the East"

[seafind]

there were two ways this could realistically go. nami has her back to the voice, her fingers curled carefully around the purple glowing orb as @inkyembers says, ❝ put that down ! ❞ nami weighs her options. it's true she's survived every fight, so far, she's had to be a part of, but wouldn't it be nice to take the easy way out ? surely she's supposed to at least try.

❝ i — i wasn't taking it, honest ! ❞ she offers, turning around with eyes doe - wide and innocent, big and wet and brown. her smile is sweet, here. ❝ it was so beautiful, i only wanted a closer look. how can magic be stored in such a way ? i have nothing but admiration for the maker. ❞

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝟐𝟕 𝑫𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑺𝑬𝑺 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  you look so beautiful.  ❜ ❛  don’t worry about anything.  ❜ ❛  thank god you’re here. i’m freakin’ out.  ❜ ❛  what are you doing?  ❜ ❛  are you sure you wanna keep this up?  ❜ ❛  let me give you some advice, do not drink moet on an empty stomach.  ❜ ❛  easy. just take it easy.  ❜ ❛  thank you for helping me.  ❜ ❛  i loved your thong, by the way.  ❜ ❛  it was very interesting meeting you.  ❜ ❛  well, it’s not gonna matter much longer anyway.  ❜ ❛  what’s the good of your job if you can’t abuse the power?  ❜ ❛  tell me that crazy crush is the reason you work as hard as you do, ‘cause it’s upsetting.  ❜ ❛  i spent two days in bed with a guy, and you get flowers.  ❜ ❛  leave me alone!  ❜ ❛  do you wanna come over to my place before the party?  ❜ ❛  how many times do we have to go over this?  ❜ ❛  we haven’t really had that kind of relationship before so i just wanted to make sure you were okay with it.  ❜ ❛  okay. stop it. this is real life. this is not a fantasy.  ❜ ❛  i don’t need to be taken care of.  ❜ ❛  i’m really not gonna be very much fun tonight.  ❜ ❛  who was that? and where can i get one?  ❜ ❛  you talked about me the whole time?  ❜ ❛  why would it be weird?  ❜ ❛  by the way, your life is insane.  ❜ ❛  i wanna make it up to you.  ❜ ❛  can you please, please find someone else to be creepy with?  ❜ ❛  we have more things in common than i thought.  ❜ ❛  you okay? you seem a little bit nervous.  ❜ ❛  will you do me a favor?  ❜ ❛  that’s not what i’m upset about.  ❜ ❛  come on. humor me.  ❜ ❛  for some reason, girls just don’t like me.  ❜ ❛  you could be a little excited for me.  ❜ ❛  now can we talk about more important stuff?  ❜ ❛  i’m just gonna have to get over it.  ❜ ❛  i don’t really have a choice.  ❜ ❛  please don’t leave me alone in this.  ❜ ❛  you can do anything, and we both know it.  ❜ ❛  i’m just … i’m a little bit confused.  ❜ ❛  i feel like i found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.  ❜ ❛  i don’t know why you keep saying that.  ❜ ❛  can we just get this over with?  ❜ ❛  i don’t believe you.  ❜ ❛  what about you? you don’t have any needs?  ❜ ❛  i don’t really know what i’m doing.  ❜ ❛  for someone who has no insight whatsoever into herself you nailed me right on the head.  ❜ ❛  if i didn’t know you any better i would say that you’d developed a little crush.  ❜ ❛  you don’t know what you’re talking about.  ❜ ❛  but you can’t understand that because you’re … you’re mean and dark and cynical.  ❜ ❛  well, that’s your problem, not mine.  ❜ ❛  what the hell are you looking at me like that for?  ❜ ❛  well, statistically that was bound to happen.  ❜ ❛  this whole cynical thing is just an act so that you can seem wounded and mysterious and sexy.  ❜ ❛  how could you let this happen to me?  ❜ ❛  before you say anything, can you just not say anything?  ❜ ❛  you don’t care about anyone but yourself, do you?  ❜ ❛  i have no idea what you’re talking about.  ❜ ❛  i just destroyed my life and i didn’t need your help to do it.  ❜ ❛  i think you deserve to be taken care of for a change.  ❜ ❛  you got what you wanted, right?  ❜ ❛  why would you want to be me when you get to be you?  ❜ ❛  but the truth is, fighting with you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  ❜ ❛  i think there’s a very good chance that i’m falling in love with you.  ❜ ❛  so is this moment everything you hoped for?  ❜