Mr. Random @sean-de-brun - Tumblr Blog

So I binged the entirety of How To Build a Sex Room last night and this one scene just cracked me up

The designer's at a western leather/tack store looking for supplies to make a rustic-style sex swing and turns to one of the store employees for advice, which initially goes about as amusingly as you would expect

So then she pulls up some pictures to give him an idea of what she needs

And he's Immediately like

The professional disgust, I'm living

francoanglo

83bondage

catswantlove-deactivated2024092

Feeding cats by remote control 😹😹😹❤️

byjove

I had a Terry’s Chocolate Orange once in an airport 10 years ago (they’re very hard to come by in the US, I’ve never seen them sold anywhere else) and I think about it everyday.

byjove

So what you’re saying in the replies is that they are sold everywhere and they’re just hiding them from me every time I enter a store.

byjove

So what you’re saying is some sort of evil sorcerer put a curse on me to make Terry’s chocolate oranges totally invisible to me.

byjove

Attempting to obtain the orange by other means is not working.

byjove

My mother just told me she bought me a chocolate orange one year for Christmas and put it in my stocking over the fireplace and it MELTED BEFORE I COULD EAT IT. I’m starting to think there is an actual curse on me and this is no longer a joke.

zegalba

Azuma Makoto: X-Ray Flowers (2023)

taxidermycanine

them: you better not be gay wolf when i come over

my gay wolf ass:

aevallare

do you think mocking catholicism is funny

yes. next question

tikkety-tok

Harsh, but I accept it I suppose.

youkoartemis

[Transcription: Speaker is a blue-eyed older man with dark blond hair that falls down his back, a round face, and a moustache and beard combo with some gray hairs amongst the blond. His voice is deep, and a bit choked up at points.]

“These are my red flags for women:

If she stabs me more than twice.

If she has a concerning amount of ex-husbands who died on their honeymoon, like... [a brief pause for thought] Like four or more.

If Gozer the Gozerian asks me to choose the form of the destructor and then one of my childhood crushes walks through New York City at 300 feet tall, uh, and steps on a church... [takes a breath and pauses for a second] I mean, it’s not the height! It’s not the height. I like a climb. But, like. [another breath] She stepped on a church. Or any building, really, ‘cause. [deep breath followed by a brief pause] Legally they’re not supposed to be able to ask you about that on like your homeowner’s association application, but- but they’ll ask. They’ll look it up.

If she doesn’t exist in the same physical timeline as I am... [several seconds long pause before continuing, sounding distraught] I’m not doing that again.”

homunculus-argument

Imagine if you had a neighbour who keeps performing songs from Phantom of the Opera in his apartment every night, by himself but accompanied by a parrot, which he has taught to sing Christine's part. Admittedly it's kind of obnoxious but you are far too baffled to even be properly annoyed. And also you don't want to confront someone with that kind of power and determination. So every once in a while you just hear this guy dramatically bellow

"SING FOR ME!"

[ASTONISHINGLY HIGH-PITCHED PARROT SHRIEK]

bob-artist

I'm so sorry I had to it was haunting me

crystal-mouse

Hey Spock- watch out!

ah beans

k-eke

Nothing like a little workout session 🦀

gsirvitor

scottlava

“A guy told me one time, "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."”