He nodded, feeling confirmation that she understood that when he made a promise, he meant it. That was important to him in life generally, but now felt like the most important thing, a foundation for them to grow their family from.
Sean knew trust went way deeper with her than the way she spoke of it in that moment. He found himself so immediately coveting that level of trust with her. Was it because he still had something for her? Yes. He wasn’t daft enough to believe that just because he fell in love with Larissa didn’t mean he didn’t still hold a candle for the one that got away. That was the tricky part about the one that got away wasn’t it? But he also wondered if it was because she was the mother of his child. A brand new feeling that he didn’t have much of awareness of at the moment.
But when she brought up calendar’s and visitation, the man was utterly silent. It wasn’t because the gravity of being a father was shocking him once again, no. He felt ready to be a father. A part of him was truly thrilled that Poppy was his. And even more so, that Layla was her mother. She had such a fire that he’d want any daughter of his to have. It was also clear that she’d been doing an amazing job. So why then, was he growing so frustrated as she spoke of visitation, home schooling, weekends, and long distance?
What was dawning on him, was not fatherhood, but the lack of control over his role as Poppy’s father. It was clear that she had put thought into how this would actually work which was nice to hear. But what about what Sean wanted, and even what Poppy might want?
“Okay.” He echoed her sentiment from earlier. He too, didn’t know what else there was to say. This was a case in which Sean knew that this was not the time nor place to discuss these things in depth with her. He had to hope that everything would work out between the three of them in the end. But he’d be lying if he didn’t say he wasn’t scared. Scared that he wouldn’t be allowed to be the father he’d always dreamt of being.
Sean removed his hat as he listened, running a hand through his hair as a touch of liquid kissed his eyelids. He’d wanted to be a dad for so long and he couldn’t help but feel so much pain at the loss of time with Poppy. He folded his hat in his hands as he placed it on his lap, looking down. “Please just, make sure she knows that–I always wanted her. And I always loved her. That I never wanted to miss out on these last few years with her. That’s all I ask Layla.”
The woman had to listen to him, the feelings that were stirring in her stomach had to be ignored. The questioned that threatening to leave her mouth had to stay forever unheard. This was not a position she had ever thought that she would find herself being in. This entire situation just took place because of small mistakes here and there. Maybe she should’ve fought more to locate him. Maybe she should put her job on hold till she located the father.
These are thoughts that had crossed her mind when everything was unfolding, but never had they been given enough notice and that was mostly due to the fact that Layla didn’t know how to handle the bomb that had been her pregnancy? What if Sean wanted nothing to do with her or with Poppy? Would that not hurt more than if just never heard from him? What if he wanted full custody and took her to court and eliminated her from the picture? With the description of her job, it wouldn’t take much for a judge to believe that Layla was unfit to be a mother. She was not being irrational, at least she didn’t think that she was.
“Sean…” his name sounded to foreign on her mouth. As if she hadn’t mouth his name in the darkness with their bodies pressed onto each other. Almost felt like she was trying to hide any sentiments she still held to the man in front of her. At the same time there was an apologetic underlying tone because hearing his words, she knew the weight of her actions had taken more from him than she had ever truly wanted. Saying that she had tried would ultimately be met with it not being enough; and how could she ever fault him for feeling like that?
Her hands clasped together as they laid on the wooden table, her lower lip rolling into her mouth as her teeth grazed the skin, thinking of how to be – be herself in this entire situation. “Poppy is going to love you and she will know the truth.” That was the best that she could do with what she was being given. Layla knew when she was in the wrong and could easily owe up to her mistake if her emotions were not triggered; which was not often in such a heated and delicate topic but as she sat there in front of the father of her daughter, and perhaps who could’ve been the love of her life she found a way to swallow her own pride.
“She will know that it was I that left the town without moving dirt and water to locate you and the moment that you found the truth you didn’t hesitate.” That would be the only thing that she would have to hear from her father to forgive him if this was happening to her. And Poppy had a even bigger heart than she did, “I guess the next time I see you it’ll be with Poppy,” the brunette could not imagine how his conversation with her sister would go but she wished him well, without realizing she reached over and gave a slight squeeze on his left hand, “I am sorry. I know Larissa loves you and she’ll still want you.” Who wouldn’t?