a day in the life

a fun-loving, anxious mess

[searching-for-memory]

Because its 2am and I start acting like I'm 10 years old again... #stretching #dancer #tilttuesday

[searching-for-memory]

One of my favorite professors and my Bio major advisor told someone that I was "awesome" today. Pretty happy about this one part of my life.  Everything else, not so much... but this one thing made me smile, so yay.

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Grateful to still call this girl one of my best friends thanks to USY's Poland Israel Pilgrimage! #3yearslater #pilgrimagemonday @unitedsynagogueyouth @shanishahmoon

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Why is it that all my friends go to sleep early. I'm left to fucking sit around with my bad thoughts. Fuckkkkkk

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As the minutes tick by getting closer to when this paper is due, the less I want to start it.

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I feel like I can't do anything with my life. I literally suck as a person and a friend and am going to amount to nothing.

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solo quiero llorar.

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What if it's cancer? No it won't be. Now that I typed it, it definitely won't be. I just want to know what it is.

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we've lost a true woman of valor

אֵֽשֶׁת חַֽיִל מִי יִמְצָא, וְרָחֹק מִפְּנִינִים מִכְרָהּ.

בָּֽטַח בָּהּ לֵב בַּעְלָהּ, וְשָׁלָל לֹא יֶחְסָר.

גְּמָלַֽתְהוּ טוֹב וְלֹא רָע, כֹּל יְמֵי חַיֶּֽיהָ.

דָּרְשָׁה צֶֽמֶר וּפִשְׁתִּים, וַתַּֽעַשׂ בְּחֵֽפֶץ כַּפֶּֽיהָ.

הָיְתָה כָּאֳנִיּוֹת סוֹחֵר, מִמֶּרְחָק תָּבִיא לַחְמָהּ.

וַתָּֽקָם בְּעוֹד לַֽיְלָה, וַתִּתֵּן טֶֽרֶף לְבֵיתָהּ, וְחֹק לְנַעֲרֹתֶֽיהָ.

זָמְמָה שָׂדֶה וַתִּקָּחֵֽהוּ, מִפְּרִי כַפֶּֽיהָ נָֽטְעָה כָּֽרֶם.

חָגְרָה בְעֹז מָתְנֶֽיהָ, וַתְּאַמֵּץ זְרוֹעֹתֶֽיהָ.

טָעֲמָה כִּי טוֹב סַחְרָהּ, לֹא יִכְבֶּה בַלַּֽיְלָה נֵרָהּ.

יָדֶֽיהָ שִׁלְּחָה בַכִּישׁוֹר, וְכַפֶּֽיהָ תָּֽמְכוּ פָֽלֶךְ.

כַּפָּהּ פָּרְשָׂה לֶעָנִי, וְיָדֶֽיהָ שִׁלְּחָה לָאֶבְיוֹן.

לֹא תִירָא לְבֵיתָהּ מִשָּֽׁלֶג, כִּי כָל בֵּיתָהּ לָבֻשׁ שָׁנִים.

מַרְבַדִּים עָֽשְׂתָה לָּהּ, שֵׁשׁ וְאַרְגָּמָן לְבוּשָׁהּ.

נוֹדָע בַּשְּׁעָרִים בַּעְלָהּ, בְּשִׁבְתּוֹ עִם זִקְנֵי אָֽרֶץ.

סָדִין עָשְׂתָה וַתִּמְכֹּר, וַחֲגוֹר נָתְנָה לַכְּנַעֲנִי.

עֹז וְהָדָר לְבוּשָׁהּ, וַתִּשְׂחַק לְיוֹם אַחֲרוֹן.

פִּֽיהָ פָּתְחָה בְחָכְמָה, וְתֽוֹרַת חֶֽסֶד עַל לְשׁוֹנָהּ.

צוֹפִיָּה הֲלִיכוֹת בֵּיתָהּ, וְלֶֽחֶם עַצְלוּת לֹא תֹאכֵל.

קָֽמוּ בָנֶֽיהָ וַיְאַשְּׁרֽוּהָ, בַּעְלָהּ וַיְהַלְלָהּ.

רַבּוֹת בָּנוֹת עָֽשׂוּ חָֽיִל, וְאַתְּ עָלִית עַל כֻּלָּֽנָה.

שֶֽׁקֶר הַחֵן וְהֶֽבֶל הַיֹּֽפִי, אִשָּׁה יִרְאַת יְיָ הִיא תִתְהַלָּל.

תְּנוּ לָהּ מִפְּרִי יָדֶֽיהָ, וִיהַלְלֽוּהָ בַשְּׁעָרִים מַעֲשֶֽׂיהָ.

[searching-for-memory]

2 funerals in less than 2 weeks

2014 is getting off to a great start

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Why are people taken too soon, it literally makes no sense.

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rule of threes

I should be the third

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If I wasn't an overachiever, I'd check myself into a mental hospital.

Like right now. Really. A lot.

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I need another week of break.

This has not been a vacation. This has been three or four weeks where I have been spending every day saying "I love you" while watching someone close to me deteriorate and die. This was not a vacation, not even in the slightest. I don't want to go back to school and responsibilities and I am so behind on everything I was supposed to do this break because clearly it just didn't happen.

[searching-for-memory]

Today really fucking sucked. Basically I hate school and life and people. ----------- Break the rules. Follow your passions. Love unconditionally.

[ofpaintandstars]

we think we’re made of numbers. percentages on tests, pounds on a scale, likes on a photo, price tags on clothes. but we’re not. we are made of love and happiness and they way we laugh. we’re made of good memories and late nights and past-curfews. we have more substance than numbers.

[squarlo]

this post is really important

[searching-for-memory]

Funeral

In the morning I will be a pallbearer, guiding someone very close to me to his final resting spot. This doesn't feel real. I miss walking into the house and hearing his scruffily voice shouting, "hey, my other daughter is home!" while he was in a white bathrobe an slippers no matter what time of day. Geoff was truly one of a kind. I will try to do him proud and carry on his legacy of spunk and care-free attitude throughout the rest of my life. A true fighter until the very end: Geoff Z. z"l