A broccoli with attitude

Hobbyist writer who's passionate about tomb raider, lartis and procrastinating Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seashellbikini/works FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/~seashellbikini

[seashell-bikini]

Master Post of all my fics

Here's a master post of all my fanfics with a link to them, because why not and anyway, you should totally read them.

I'm going to leave this pinned on my blog xoxoxo

Witching Hour

It’s 3 AM in a run-down Turkish hotel, and Lara can’t sleep. Neither can Kurtis.

Nature Abhors a Vacuum

One year after the events of Turkey, Lara runs into Kurtis, whom she did not miss at all.

At least that's what she's been telling herself.

Weapons of Love

Summary: Kurtis finds that when it comes to gifts, Lara is very easy to please.

Sacrilege (NSFW)

Summary: In the dull, dim-lit prehistoric temple Lara finds nothing attention-worthy. Kurtis begs to differ

Method to Their Madness (NSFW) - WIP

Summary: After a close-call with the Cabal, Kurtis and Lara get into a heated argument about each other's working methods. Luckily, they manage to come to a compromise.

Memento Mori - WIP

Summary: Kurtis didn't mind being dead, it's the lecture from a parent long-gone something he could go without.

[insert-witty-user-name-here]

[starknstarwars]

Me opening up the half-finished draft of my ‘narratively creative’ Conclave fanfic:

[seashell-bikini]

I know all lartis fans love the famous Louvre scene, but for me, the second airlock scene is the pinnacle of sexual tension, there's so much packed into it I mean

The completely unnecessary patting down Lara did at the start (I see you, and you have my full support, girl)

Them being inside a small, enclosed space - a commonly used trope in thrillers to create sexual tension - circling each other with their eyes locked.

Weapons drawn and pointed at each other, in a non-serious threat of 'I could totally kill you if I wanted to, you know ^_^' 'me too 🥰' like it's just some formality, a handshake.

Kurtis turning his back to her in a moment of vulnerability, trusting the woman who'd just held a gun to his face not to just end him right there.

Lara catching that quick glimpse he had at her face and lifting his chin to make him look into her eyes as if to say 'I saw what you did, don't try to pretend otherwise.'

Them coming up with a plan in a seamless harmony, like they've done it dozens of times before.

All this within like what? 2-3 minutes?

On-screen, graphic sex would have been less erotic than whatever the hell was going on between these two in this scene.

[seashell-bikini]

dozens of spambots swarming my fic on ff.net since I posted it today lmaaaooo this site is a mess, someone pull the plug on it and put it out of its misery

[seashell-bikini]

Speaking of Kurtis's eating habits, and taking a break from tomb raiding...

My newest lartis oneshot is done and it turned out to be extra spicy this time~~

It's been a long while since I wrote smut (if I have ever tbh). I started this as mostly as a writing exercise and to get a headcanon out of my head, but I liked it too much not to share, so here you go!

✨BON APPÉTIT✨ to kurtis

Title: Sacrilege

Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: 4,468

Summary:  'Lara sees nothing exciting or noteworthy the the dull, lifeless temple they are trudging through. Kurtis disagrees.

Tags: post-canon, established relationship, altar sex, oral (female receiving), cunnilingus, teasing, smut, smut with feelings, aftercare, banter, blasphemy but make it sexy

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88124261

[bellaaldamas]

Murti apparently commented just a year ago on that issue of the AoD comic (which mind you is now decades old, like the game itself) where Lara and Kurtis share a kiss and have an implied future together and he *yet again* made a vague jab at the idea of their romance. Even though other writers wanted that, Morton evidently wanted that and the comic timeline actually DID that. The comic is not the same as the in game timeline but does fit into the pattern of Classic Lara either ending up alone (in the timelines where Kurtis does not exist like the movies starring Angelina) or Kurtis being established as her only true love/possible endgame.

I wish Murti well, I respect his contributions and expertise but his continued suppression of Lara's romantic agency along with him wanting Kurtis to simp for his toxic dead daddy and reintegrate into the cult that made his childhood and life miserable (as in, have NO kind of agency at all) is sadly reflective of all the problems modern media has with writing women and men alike.

[positivelyamazonian]

I love Murti, he's an amazing human being and the kindest person I've encountered in a long, long time - I can attest that personally - but I wonder how he went from "Oh, they were gonna end together absolutely!" to dismiss or slightly mock the possibility of Lara and Kurtis having a romance.

I mean, apart from being Morton's intention, the game definitely introduces and serves you enough evidence it was gonna end that way.

From some years to now it's like this is some fangirls invention and fanfiction elaborating what the game actually introduced is dismissed as low writing or girly illusion. The nerve.

[seashell-bikini]

Shipping has always been a women-dominated hobby, so unfortunately, like all other women-dominated hobbies, it's not immune to being dismissed as silly, frivolous, or even 'pathetic'.

There's also this attitude that strong female characters cannot ever have love interests because that somehow makes them weak, or takes away their independence. Because that's what almost every horribly written romantic media shows, people started assuming that's a fact.

While I don't doubt that Murti is a sweet person, his dismissal of Lara's and Kurtis's romance stems from the same attitude. Two decades later, and the romance is what fans still discuss extensively, not the lore he created for the game. I kinda get why it peeves him in a way, but dismissing or making subtle jabs at it is doing a massive disservice to his own writing, the characters he created and the dynamic between them.

Not to mention fans who have done massive work to keep AoD relevant.

In the end, this can be taken as a case of 'death of the author'. He wrote them with a certain intent (romantic relationship), that intent is confirmed by other writers and even Kurtis's voice actor, whatever he wrote after that changes absolutely nothing.

[seashell-bikini]

When will this nightmare of a heatwave end, I'm trying to write but my brain is MUSH, I can't THINK and I'm sweating like a pig even though I take a shower every hour UGHUGHUGH I hate it here

[seashell-bikini]

Looks like he came from a nu-metal band

but Mozart is one of his favorite musicians

Is set up in a way that makes you think he'll be an antagonist

but turns out to be Lara's most reliable ally

Has supernatural powers your average joe only dreams of having

but his favorite weapon are his fists.

Happy Birthday to Kurtis Trent, the man of contradictions. 💓

[majisthelle]

[seashell-bikini]

'Kurtis wanting nothing to do with his estranged father and holding resentment towards him for all the bs he put him through to """"train"""" him in his creepy little cult'

and

'Kurtis being devastated and grief-stricken when his father died because he realized they never got to have a real relationship all because of a bullshit shadow war.'

are two statements that CAN and WILL coexist in my headcanon for maximum angst character development.

[nondelphic]

writing is 10% storytelling and 90% rearranging three sentences for an hour like you're trying to solve an ancient curse

[seashell-bikini]

Although Lara is an adrenaline junkie, I have this image of her sometimes just... stopping during an excursion.

She takes a breather.

Sitting down, enjoying the silence of the crypts, gazing at the clear night sky as she meditates in the company of the dead.

She enjoys the solitude and sometimes even longs for her home in Surrey. But when she returns there, she longs for her home in the the trap-filled tombs and ancient places.

Always restless.

[seashell-bikini]

Remastered Kurtis's model has a slight overbite and he also has a small toothgap between his front teeth which makes me think that he-

that he, uh

mmm I mean

uh what was I saying

[seashell-bikini]

Lara's favorite food is beans on toast, so I wonder what Kurtis's fave food could be.

imo he has a thing for all things hot and spicy: curry, chili, Lara. Maybe some home-made navajo dishes his mom made like mutton stew, or navajo tacos, or something german because of his father. I can also imagine him being secretly a sucker for home-made comfort food.

Or maybe he lives off exclusively of takeout food, pizzas and frozen food.

Or better yet, the american equivalent of beans on toast: peanut butter and jelly

[toot-tr]

i remember reading its sauerkraut or in english pickled cabbage, reading it in his bio somewhere

[seashell-bikini]

Lara's favorite food is beans on toast, so I wonder what Kurtis's fave food could be.

imo he has a thing for all things hot and spicy: curry, chili, Lara. Maybe some home-made navajo dishes his mom made like mutton stew, or navajo tacos, or something german because of his father. I can also imagine him being secretly a sucker for home-made comfort food.

Or maybe he lives off exclusively of takeout food, pizzas and frozen food.

Or better yet, the american equivalent of beans on toast: peanut butter and jelly

[potkanice]

I need someone who knows about different cuisines to figure out any German and Navajo overlap, to find the perfect Kurtis food! (Germans will come after me for not distinguishing different parts of Germany T_T But I don't know where exactly Konstantin is from. Also there are probably different Navajo areas with different cuisines which I don't know about either.)

Though yeah, I imagine that usually he doesn't really care and goes for takeout food? (Perhaps his favourite food is like... sausage pizza or something.) Oh, I wonder if Lux Veritatis were really strict about their diet to be the best warriors, so Kurtis would turn to fast food later as a form of personal protest? XD Especially also after the French Legion where I imagine they also have stricter diets.

I do very much like the idea of Lara and Kurtis being horrified about each other's favourite food though!

[seashell-bikini]

There's some overlap between the two from my research, both cuisines like hearty meals with meat like stews and such. Now I can see his mom making german food with her own twist on it.

And true, might have got used to living on a strict diet because of his LV training. Legion diet is not that strict, though, it's a pretty high-calorie diet.

But I like the idea of him just eating the complete opposite of what he was told lol like the contrarian he probably was.

[seashell-bikini]

Lara's favorite food is beans on toast, so I wonder what Kurtis's fave food could be.

imo he has a thing for all things hot and spicy: curry, chili, Lara. Maybe some home-made navajo dishes his mom made like mutton stew, or navajo tacos, or something german because of his father. I can also imagine him being secretly a sucker for home-made comfort food.

Or maybe he lives off exclusively of takeout food, pizzas and frozen food.

Or better yet, the american equivalent of beans on toast: peanut butter and jelly

[seashell-bikini]

Kurtis in the french foreign legion, probably