Pairing: Peter Parker/Reader
Plot: Peter tells Thor that Hela has BDE
Warnings: None, except light cursing and slightly inappropriate language due to a phallic word
A/N: In case anyone wants to berate me on the use ofĀ ābig dick energy,ā just realize it basically means having a lot of confidence and not much more. Also, Iām glad to be back :)
ā-and that was how my home was violently destroyed by my misguided older sister in her attempts to succeed to the throne.,ā Thorās voice boomed, as he explained to Peter and you the story of what happened to Asgard and why he, and his people, were now permanent residents of Midgard.
Peter was silent in thought for a moment, taking in Thorās story.
Only moments later, you could see Peterās smile beginning to form as his voice rang out, āWow, Mr. Thorā¦ Your sister really has big dick energy.ā
Oh fuck, Peter. You are going to die. Why was this a good idea? Heās not wrong, but why in this situation would he say that?
Peter still had that dumb smile of his on his face as Thor sat in silence. You could see is chiseled features become contorted in confusion.
You wish you couldāve had been out of the room as Thor hollered, āWHAT IN THE WORLD, MAN OF SPIDER? MY SISTER DESTROYED MY HOME AND YOU GO ON TO TALK ABOUT HER HAVING THE VIGOR OF MALE GENITALIA-ā
Peter looked absolutely terrified, which you donāt blame him for, as he tried to explain, āMr. T-Thor, y-you donāt understand. Itās an e-expression.ā
It was too late for explanations, you knew.
This was only cemented as Thor called for Tony in slight hysterics.
Tony rushed into the room, probably expecting another alien attack, but instead found a petrified Peter with Thor holding his hammer to his chest as he demanded Peter to not treat his tragedy as something to joke about.
Luckily, Tony de-escalated the situation (which is ironic in comparison to the situation that led Peter into his first encounter with Tony in the first place) and explained to Thor what Peter meant.
For his trouble and for interrupting his work though, Tony grounded Peter from the next operation.
You tried to protest, seeing this all as just a joke gone wrong, but you ended up grounded as well.
Only a few hours before the next mission, that you and Peter were grounded from taking part in, you could hear Nat as she asked Steve, āHey, why arenāt the munchkins coming with?ā
Steve let out a light laugh as he explained, āThey got grounded by Tony because Peter told Thor that his sister has ābig dick energyā.ā
āWasnāt she the one who killed Thorās friends and destroyed Asgard?,ā Nat asked, amusement tinged in her voice.
āYeah, thatās the one.ā
āWell, Peter did have a point there.ā
Youāre damn right he did.
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