~my second diary~

sometimes it just comes back. sometimes it feels like your feelings are just too damn big for your body and you might explode. sometimes it feels like your mind is a giant ocean of nothingness and there not a single sight of feelings that you could grasp onto. sometimes being alive just sucks. but that feeling is always going to pass. be kind to yourself,be patient. this is you first time being alive.

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— storydj

[cyborgsmanifesto]

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

[the-moon-whisperer]

[vixensofdeath]

I want to go for a walk and never come back. I’ll walk for miles listening to my music to forget my problems, I’ll make a new life, I’ll make a new identity and I’ll never be who I was before.

[agonisingpain]

Nobody understands me and the more I try to explain the more i feel like I'm wasting my time and energies + i feel like im giving pieces of myself to people that don't deserve it.

[lakrimasx-deactivated20240622]

I often want to rip the skin off my body to free whatever's destroying my insides

[the-moon-whisperer]

[candy-colored-misery]

"my soul aches for something better than this."

2023 journal entry, from me.

[vixensofdeath]

waking up gets harder and harder every day

[secondlina]

I drew a little something for the Hiveworks micro comic summer~

Hiveworks Comics

It's time! Today is the day. Share the comic you've been working on all summer with the tag #MicroComicSummer

[anorektyczka-z-wyboru]

Pro ana diets

[requiemforimmortals]

The greatest heights

Have the greatest falls

My all time high

Will be my deadliest low

But you were worth

The jump

-KMS

[neonbaseline]

Bruises moodboard 

[sarcastic-iccle-btch]

Disclaimer: these rules are for me personally and I am not promoting anything on this list.

• Don’t eat more than 900 cals • Don’t eat before 07:00 • Don’t eat after 19:00 (7pm) • Sunday I can eat up to 1,100 cals as long as I haven’t binged that week • exercise in the morning (yoga, push-ups and plank challenge) • exercise after school (squat challenge, hourglass & ballet conditioning workout) • go to the gym everyday (treadmill, weights & drop 10 workout) • have a cold bath after the gym • workout before bed (Before bed workout & yoga) • constantly fidget • drink as much water as possible • eat small bites slowly with non dominant hand • never finish a meal • drink as much green tea as possible • get 6-8 hours sleep a day • weigh myself every morning before breakfast

[extrasad]

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

[stillesgeschrei]

“Whatever happens tomorrow, we’ve had today.”

— David Nicholls; One Day (via thoughtkick)

[quotefeeling]

“She tries her best, but it hurts her chest.”

— The 1975, “She Lays Down”