cold takes served daily

*off-key kazoo fanfare* | too old for Leo DiCaprio | certified AI hater | follow @boku-no-anime-phase to see me be a rabid anime fan

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

Lets be a snowdrift with mama

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

My phone sometimes does this "1 year ago" thing where it plays a reel of old photos to jazzy music, but I don't take all that many photos, so in practice my phone just sometimes offers me jazzy music over a series of context-free nearly identical photos of the neighbour's cat.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Occasionally I am reminded that I went somewhere a year ago when the music plays over context-free nearly identical photos of a different cat.

[hunkybeans]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Help I'm choking on my toast

[chainmail-butch]

Hi, its me. The warmest creature in the world. I love you. Im the warmest creature in the world and I love you so much and I need to be in your lap right now. Yes, I know about the heat wave. That's okay though because I was already the warmest creature in the world so I don't mind. I love you and you need to let me sleep in your lap right now. I'm soooo warm and I love you sooo much. If you say no you'll be saying no to a thing that love you. Let me sleep in your lap. When I fall asleep I get warmer. I love you

[omtai]

They just don’t release the hounds like they used to

[hobohobgoblim]

in my day someone just let the dogs out. never did know who.

[clingyduoapologist]

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife

[apolladay]

Before you are two magic buttons. Button A: you will never have to clean your kitchen again (dishes are automatically done; floor swept and mopped; etc). Button B: you will never have to clean your bathroom again (toilet & sink & tub/shower cleaned and sanitized; etc) Which button do you push?

A

B

Voting ended onJun 3

[heliophile-oxon]

So many comments, many of them wise and all of them heartfelt, and yet nobody has thought to add ...

the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. Not only are there dishes every day, not only are there food preparation surfaces of various kinds every day, not only are there crumbs and odds and ends that fall on the floor every day ... but the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. The oven is in the kitchen, the food cupboards are in the kitchen, and above all THE KITCHEN BIN IS IN THE KITCHEN.

I mean, it's not like the bathroom is all sweetness and light, but seriously! Who in their right mind is choosing the bathroom?!?!?!?

Ils sont fous, ces Romains tumblrains.

[sufficientlylargen]

Having a magically-self-cleaning bathroom would be cool, but it wouldn't dramatically change my lifestyle.

If I could cook or bake whatever the hell I wanted, knowing that all my pots and mixing bowls and baking sheets would just zap themselves clean when I finished? If I knew that I could spill batter or grease inside the oven or burn things onto baking racks and it would just go away? I would be making delicious shit constantly.

[earhartsease]

from @baddywronglegs

#You can piss in the kitchen sink but you can't make lasagna in the shower

@theshitpostcalligrapher this one deserves to be writ large

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

yeag.....

[kiwipeel]

this shit sucks. wish bulbasaur was real . 

[gotyouanyway]

anything u think about YOUR life after 10pm is bs to be ignored. anything u think about a character’s life after 10pm should be posted about online and expanded on for paragraphs. :)

[proudchimera]

Local hero neglects his responsibilities in favor of fucking around

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[chilewithcarnage]

[ten-and-donna]

the utter ecstasy of “is that lavENDER?” is what sells it for me

[pulling-aggro]

a level of appreciation for charcuterie the likes of which has never been seen before

[tragediegh]

stay vigilant. there are still people out there who will try to convince you that eating fruit is somehow bad for your body

[fishpondfish]

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

[mousidy]

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

[decomposedmaw]

Would you spend some time here?

[ryley-robinson]

Calling something empty 'a desert': ❌ Wrong, deserts are genuinely valuable, diverse, beautiful places, full of life, you just gotta look around.

Calling something empty 'a parking lot': ✔️ Correct, parking lots are wasteful uses of space, created simply to serve a car-centric society, contributing to a capitalist hellscape, and causing continued environmental damage.

[northern-punk-lad]

I hate the uk government for making me agree with Elon musk

[a-cheetosandroid]

[accras]

Two-year-old Albert Apsassin feeling the spirit at National Indigenous Peoples Day in Camrose, Alberta.

[knitmeapony]

Babies doing the Thing with their grownups will never not be an immediate and loving reblog.

[aspen-aura]

This is also important because until 1951, Indigenous kids were not allowed to dance at pow wows. It was illegal for them to participate. This is not only heartwarming, but an act of defiance against the ongoing oppression and genocide sanctioned by the Canadian government.

[acreaturecalledgreed]

the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible

because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person 

from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating

it’s fucked up. 

[falliblefabrial]

What is the most important step a man can take?

The next.

[inklesspen]

[babblingfishes]

I think part of the pushback about this is the idea that, to “redeem” bad people, their victims must first forgive them for unforgivable acts.

This is false. No one is obligated to forgive you. You can learn from your mistakes and become the best, kindest person on earth, and the people you’ve hurt still won’t forgive you, and you’ll have to accept that. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to grow. Because we aren’t just “pure” or “sinful”, we’re complex.