Cabi's Secret Base @secretcabbagebase - Tumblr Blog

poor people core and it's a panorama of my empty fridge

#poor people core part 2 and it's a picture of my 3 year old work shoes with holes in the toes (you can see remnants of super glue on the soles)

As a little bonus treat I'll add a photo of my 50 cent (all thrifted btw) plastic cups partially melted from the dishwasher

#poor people core #shitpost

I get mild gender dysphoria at the thought that AMAB people get to pee standing up

like if I did that, there's piss all over my legs

I wish I was born with a dick just so I could take a leak wherever I want

but instead I'm subjected to sitting on a porcelain stool with a hole in it or popping an awkward squat when it's urgent

#if i had a dick I'd let people try to wring horseshoes around as a party game #yeah sure it would probably hurt but I'd be the life of the place #at some point I'd either pass out or grow numb to it so what's the problem #life goals #im mostly joking #key word here is mostly #shitpost

Looking through male dating app profiles is torture I subject myself to for a little laughter in my life

because when I see that Derek, a 29-year-old divorcee with a hairline that's afraid of his eyebrows, "doesn't want kids" I have to giggle

It's okay bro, no one wants kids with you either

try your luck at a gay bar, maybe they'll take pity on you

#sometimes enrichment is gained through hardship #the hardship being men three times my age trying to hook up with me #and the occasional bot that just needs my SSN to verify im not a bot #shitpost

So I'm trying to learn how to make anime edits because they are cool and that'd be awesome

but I'm deadass the dumbest bitch alive when it comes to technology

like how tf do I rename an image I downloaded in my files

Cabi vs technology round 1

Cabi is losing

#shitpost #but seriously #i fear the technology revolution skipped right over me #send help

Working a retail job during Christmas is so miserable, not just because of the increase in entitled customers

the worst part is listening to jingle bells being meowed by cats on the store playlist

every.single.shift.

the real Christmas miracle is me keeping my job

#shitpost #i hear those meows in my nightmares #but on a real note who came up with that #and who produced it #and who decided it'd be perfect for a store playlist #and who's targeting me so that song only plays when i just get off break #theres no escape

my dream job is to be a stripper at a lesbian bar

#shitpost #now i just have to learn how to shake ass #shake what yo mama gave ya #new goal unlocked #my future seems bright

And when my steam deck said she'd take 15 minutes to download a 39.9 MB file, she meant it

like sorry for overestimating you

won't happen again

#shitpost #lord help me #and her too apparently #steam games #gaming

first mukbang kinda nervous

and it's me eating the bouquet of flowers I bought for the girl who kissed me but is religious and 'struggling with it'

This is targeted

#i was like 14 but i still think about it sometimes #shitpost #is this what it is to be a girl kisser?

practicing free will by buying an ice cream cake

problem is I don't have a fork, but I do have a spoon tucked away in an empty tupperware container in the center console of my car.

there's food residue on it though, from when I brought an actual meal to work a questionable amount of time ago

Do we risk it for the biscuit

Do we say fuck it and ball

#practicing free will until i can comprehend that i have no mental limits on this mortal plain #attempting to achieve enlightenment by buying a cake #its a start #shitpost

And I'm gonna confess something to you, my 'first kiss' was in 5th grade with three different girls

I was at a sleepover for my friend's birthday party and we were playing a game where one girl would close her eyes and the rest of us would kiss her then she'd try to guess whose kiss was whose

yk typical sleepover activities

I will never forget the connection I felt with one of the girls at that party

Too bad she was a horse girl

Megan, if you're reading this, that was a joke

#shitpost #no hate to horse girls #live your truth queen #queer pride #wlw #confession

I want to get a buzz cut, but I know the first thing I'm gonna hear from any given family member is the classic "why did you do that? you won't get a boyfriend with that haircut."

And another kid won't save your marriage, pack it up

I'm hoping maybe the buzz cut will give off enough of a delinquent vibe that my family will start to avoid me.

One can dream.

#shitpost #girl I'm bored lets self reflect!#my haircut will not be my ruining I promise

i feel bad for the shitpost tag right now

I've been spamming my blog all night just for funsies. The 'latest' tab is gonna be swamped with my content

my bad team, I thrive on adderall and sleep deprivation

#anyways #enough about that #back to spam posting

I pop adderall like it's my birthright (my prescription adderall, don't mix me up here)

And I'll pair it with caffeine sometimes too

yeah my heart could stop, but I get a lot done, so if the question is whether or not I care, the answer is a spirited no

#shitpost #adderall is a blessing in my life #but its also a stimulant and can be addictive so be safe

"I don't know if he likes blondes or brunettes!"

I don't know if she likes girls

#shitpost kinda sorta not really #but still kind of #shitpost with implied undertones how about that #queer pride #wlw #wlw post #lesbianism #is this what it is to be a girl kisser?

And to the underpaid fast food worker about to experience the influx of teen customers out of school for the summer,

godspeed soldier

#i have mild faith you will come out of this alive #probably #stay strong #remember that crying in a bathroom stall at work in a canon event #shitpost

And I can't sit through a movie, not because my attention span is chopped, but because if a scene comes on that I see maladaptive daydream potential in

the movie is getting paused and I'm circling my room with music blasting for an hour

#maladaptive daydreaming #kind of a shitpost #but also daydreaming severely impacts my life #I spend hours a day imagining different scenarios and acting them out to my wall #I don't know how to stop #but I don't know what else I would do with my time #coping with mental illness is tough

I tried watching one piece but I can't fucking do it

The very first episode, that one scene where they're on the ship, and Luffy pops out of the barrel

I'm not kidding it's the same scene four times, shot from different angles

I thought the TikTok videos were joking about the pacing; they were in fact not

"But it gets good later though"

I'm going to use my free will here and pull the no card

#call me stuck-up but i'm not subjecting myself to that for an unfinished plot #give me a god damn break #shitpost #one piece #anime #one piece anime #joke vent

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