[innerchildabortionclinic]

good morning everyone it's time to be tortured to insanity and then of course tortured for being insane

[persephoneme]

you can't say "hey has anyone noticed that M/M fic outnumbers F/F like 100:1” or “it feels racist that only 3/202 characters on the ao3 top 100 ships list are Black and two of them are Alastor HazbinHotel” bc some ppl will start going like “oh so you think we should FORCE people to write about things they DON’T CARE ABOUT for WOKE????” and you’ll be like “no, i’m pointing out that the conditions that created this disparity are informed by racism & misogyny” and ppl will say “it’s not BIGOTED to only care about WHITE MEN” and then the gargoyle king appears

[dogpuppy]

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

[moisterpeggingchampion]

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

[dogpuppy]

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

[b0nkcreat]

one part of my breakfast today was sour patch kids and i can feel that shit opening the evil dead necronomicon in my digestive system

[b0nkcreat]

HELP ME

[b0nkcreat]

😏you know what sounds delicious right now

[slushiethecryptid2]

*poofs into existence holding a baguette*

*hits you on the head*

No

*bonk*

More

*bonk*

SOUR PATCH KIDS

*bonk bonk bonk*

[b0nkcreat]

i feel like i just got sent back in time to 2013 tumblr where am i.Hello. Hello can anybody hear me

[agentofdeterioration]

The Catalogue of Ships in the Iliad is, to a modern audiences, what classicists have called “boring as hell,” but I can’t help but think that if you were watching Homer recite it it would have been more like when comedians go, “anybody here tonight from Chicago?” and the Chicagoans in the back start cheering

Homer’s like, “and there were forty black ships from… LOCRIS” and the Locrians in the crowd start going absolutely nuts

[theorangepdf]

getting fixated on something is funny because the first like week i have an insatiable need to tell everyone i know about it and spread the good word but by weeks 2 and 3 it becomes so intense and personal that even hearing it mentioned in public makes me sweat as if a dark secret was alluded to

[neurodivergentaf]

im dying i completely forgot this conversation i had with a friend three years ago 😭

[jeejyboard]

i thinkit would be cool if there was an omegaverse but for salmon instead of wolves. Like when the time comes certain members of society get really juicy musclewise and get yiffy fangs and are suddenly compelled to return to the neighborhood they grew up in and 96 hours later show up barefoot in full starvation mode and ravaged by walking through interstate traffic to fuck whoevwr smells the best in the local burger king. Then afterwards they die and disintegrate to be eaten by seagulls in the parking lot

[jeejyboard]

omega-3verse

[one-step-at-a-time25]

on anger

[one-step-at-a-time25]

on anger

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

while they share a similar base flavor, dick tastes more umami while pussy tastes more acidic, though recent menstruation conveys an overwhelming metallic flavor that some diners object to (though i am not one of them). recommended wine pairings are

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

(today i learnt that if you don’t know how a post should end, just post it unfinished anyway and someone else will come up with an ending)

[battleofthejohns]

Battle Of The Johns Round 1

Big Boss (Metal Gear)

John Granby (Temeraire)

Remaining time: 8 hours 57 minutes

(art by shyangell)

Propaganda:

Big Boss:

"real name John"

John Granby:

“he’s canonically gay, has an asshole fire breathing dragon who loves him very much and wants to cover him in jewels, loses his arm, he almost marries the queen of the aztecs but then she marries napoleon instead (long story).”

[brucebocchi]

[vierryn]

attack on @commonfinch >:)

[point-at-horses]

horses 🫵

[recordstore]

i don’t understand how anything works i just walk through life terrified

[mengyaosevilpussy]

tragedy enjoyers when a character upholds the system that they themselves were a victim of

[etirabys]

can anyone find me that mesopotamian clay tablet telling you to marry a party girl because she'll bring you joy

[mentalwires]

It's from the "Maxims of Ptahhotep", purportedly written by a 96-year-old vizier to pass on his wisdom to his son:

If you marry a good-time girl

A joyful woman known to her town,

If she is wayward,

and revels in the moment,

do not reject her, but instead let her enjoy;

joyfulness is what marks calm water.

[etirabys]

yay ty. Between the above and the links in the mentions we have 3 translations total

[fatsexybitch]

Happy Wife Happy Life is 4.5k years old

[assortedinsanities]

Other sites also have the "Does anyone have this image?" posts, but only on tumblr you'll find "Does anyone have that mesopotamien clay tablet?" posts.