You're Not Safe.

Your secrets aren't safe.

[secretsoflimaheights-blog]

My favorite kind of females? Rowdy Females.

The 2012 William McKinley High PowderPuff Football game is coming up this weekend and things are getting even more bitchy than usual in the halls.

We have two teams: Team Swagson and The Avengers.

It seems as though there's a bit more than just friendly competition between the two teams and their coaches. 

My sources have told me that Miss Emily Fields was seen body checking a few of the girls on Team Swagson, and is plotting her own personal revenge against the one Miss Olivia Lewis. Though, it's not like Miss Lewis' teammates are going to help her out if she continues to bitch out the upperclassmen of her team. The only other person that seems to have her back is Miss Faye Cowper. Lucky for The Avengers, Team Swagson is divided, as the self-proclaimed Unholy Trinity isn't associating with the other two girls. Coach Evans has a lot on his plate.

I have also been informed by my sources that there are bets being placed on this game. There are people voting for Team Swagson to lose by 50 points, The Avengers head coach to show up hungover, for Emily Fields to win the game single handedly, for Rachel Berry to get hit in the nose by half time, for Team Swagson to get disqualified due to Olivia Lewis being a guy, for Santana Lopez to tackle more people on her team than the opposing team, and for Tina Cohen-Chang to cast spells on the entire Team Swagson to get her team to win.

I'll keep you updated.

[secretsoflimaheights-blog]

Well would you just look at this. It seems as though we've got a little bit of a love triangle going on here. Oh wait, is it a love square?

First of all, my sources tell me, that Flex Carter and Santana Lopez were seen wandering around one of Lima's abandoned buildings late one night last week and it was reported that they had a quickie before heading home from exploring. 

The stupid Latina felt the need to tell her boyfriend, Hunter Scott, about the encounter, which made him run to Miss Faye Cowper to have her relieve his pain, the two already reported for having a bit of a fling. 

Though this is where it gets complicated. A fifth party is brought in when Landon Brooks is reported to be hanging out with Miss Whorepez, "cheering her up." This is suspicious because Mr. Brooks and Mr. Scott are known for not being the best of friends, as well as Miss Cowper and Mr. Brooks have been seen canoodling. 

Will Landon help Santana get over Hunter? Will Faye forgive Landon for helping her worst enemy? Will Santana and Hunter get back together? Or Will Fay and Hunter continue to "mess around"?

And what's going on with Flex?

I'll keep you posted.  

[secretsoflimaheights-blog]

Of course I have plenty of sources all over, but I would like to hear what you people think! Or if you have a question about anyone, please don't hesitate to ask. I'm always here to provide you the most reliable information.

[secretsoflimaheights-blog]

We all know that you people have lots of code words.

"Secret recipe," "Sportscenter," and "jogging." Don't think I don't know. 

Well it seems as there's another code word floating around. Something that took me awhile to catch on to, and it seems like you dumb Lima residents have yet to grasp. Oh don't worry, I'll fill you in. The code word, well phrase, is "going to the gym." 

Sounds ridiculous, right? That's what I thought, too. But just think about who are frequent goers of the "gym." There's Mr. Chance Keller, who seems to go to the gym quite often, almost every day it seems. What are you training for? It's not like you have any juice in your system like before to make you want to lift weights that often. Then, there's Mr. Samson Evans. Who seems to frequent the "gym" with Chance, and sometimes on his own. But maybe the poor boy should actually start going to the gym rather than the "gym" because all of the sitting on his ass and playing Skyrim whilst shoveling junk food into his mouth can't be good. And some of the other guys seem to go to the "gym" as well, just not as often. Guys like, Mr. Aaron Chambers, Mr. Flex Carter, and Mr. Cameron Hale. 

But now that you know who all is "going to the gym." What does this phrase mean?You won't be able to guess, that's for sure. I wasn't able to figure out the code words until my sources have told me that they saw Mr. Keller and Mr. Evans together in the mornings, but not at the gym. My sources spotted the two boys at Adult World, the local strip club! Now ladies, before you start getting mad, you may want to thank them. Have they been performing a little bit better lately? Well that's because they're not going to the strip club to see female strippers, oh no, they're going to take the morning male stripper classes!

My sources have got the details, informing me that these boys have been taking classes to learn how to strip, but only one has actually performed on "Ladies Night." Can you guess which one? I'll give you one chance to guess...

I'll keep you updated!

[secretsoflimaheights-blog]

Mr. Landon Brooks.

As you all know, Mr. Brooks hasn't had a girlfriend in God knows how long, and every girl who's shown blatant interest in him, he's shot down. But what I wanted to know was why. Why hasn't he gotten together with the attractive girls in his life? He's had Santana, Faye, and Mindy among other girls as options over the months, yet he hasn't done anything about any of them. Well, sleeping with Miss Lopez isn't really anything to write home about since just about everyone does it. 

But when a girl like that starts to develop feelings for you and actually tells you about them, you would think a guy would go for it. But he hasn't. And then again with Faye, the two were spotted hanging out often and even going on a few dates together. But even still, Landon just didn't go for it. At least with Miss Lopez you were getting sex every now and then, now you've just got nothing. My sources even tell me that you've been spotted at Walmart buying Vaseline and tissues. And I don't think you've got a cold there, Brooks.

Now, the big question is why. Why hasn't he done anything about these girls practically throwing their selves at him? Why has he tried to push all of the attractive girls away? Why does he not even admit to finding them attractive? Well I've got the answer for you, folks. Mr. Landon Brooks is the big G-A-Y. Yes the anonymous messages have been true. My sources tell me that Brooks has been seen purchasing an enema and Brokeback Mountain on DVD. Not convinced yet? It's also come to my attention that he's got a Cher album in his car that he listens to to get "pumped up" for races. Yeah sure, Lando, that's what it's for. And last but not least, my sources have informed me that he's got a poster in his room of a shirtless cowboy. Oh Landon, Brokeback Mountain and a shirtless cowboy? Flex, you may want to reconsider this whole bros thing that you two have got going on.

I'll keep you updated.

[secretsoflimaheights-blog]

Attention all!

My sources have just given me a whole new stock on alotof you Lima residents, so get ready for your secrets to be aired out.

I'll keep you updated.

xoxo

[secretsoflimaheights-blog]

What about Kurt and Blaine?

What about Kurt and Blaine? I haven't heard from either of them lately. But my sources tell me that it might be true that Blaine is hiding out at Flex's house to avoid Kurt for awhile since Sebastian's been creating tension between the two. I'll keep you updated.

[secretsoflimaheights-blog]

Please tell me what your sources have informed you of so bad. I'm dying to hear this one.

Sorry dear, I never give out my sources. What I give you is what you get.

xoxo

[secretsoflimaheights-blog]

It looks like it's all happening behind closed doors.

I'll hand it to you kids, you're getting smarter. You're not cheating on your significant others at parties anymore, oh no, you're taking it a step further. What am I talking about, you ask? Well, let's just have a look.

First, there's Miss Melrose Pierce. Melrose has spent a lot of time with Matt Rutherford. The boy is known for sleeping around with the girls at McKinley and other schools in the area, and Melrose is continuously stressing the fact that they are "like brother and sister" so there could be nothing going on. Well my sources have informed me of something very different. Could the "brother and sister" excuse be just an act?

Then, of course, what's an update without the town whore, Miss Lopez. It turns out that Samson's cousins being in town were the perfect excuse for her to stay at Flex Carter's house for the weekend. Why did you ask your boyfriend to stay at his house, Lopez? What is it about Flex's abode that is so appealing to you? Again, my sources have told me that it's because Santana's wanting to complete some unfinished business from the party at her house last weekend.

And last but not least, Miss Kellan Jacobs. Don't you dare think for a second that this one is off the hook. Sure, Kellan and her boyfriend, Aaron Chambersseemlike the perfect couple, but oh no. Why do you think Jacobs has been talking to Landon Brooks a lot lately? And she's going to be on a pretty long car ride with him tomorrow, despite how bad of a driver Landon is. And what do you all think is going to happen on that journey with just the two of them, alone?

I'll keep you updated.

[secretsoflimaheights-blog]

Rachel and Cameron. Any thoughts?

Well, Rachel's said herself that she likes the "bad boy" types, and Cameron fits the bill. But what will Puck think? Or Finn? Or Brittany?

And it's been pointed out that Cameron's getting soft. Maybe it's because he has new feelings Miss Berry. Is that why you're going to Flex's (her best friend, by the way) to drown your feelings in alcohol?

[secretsoflimaheights-blog]

Flex is single now. I wonder who is gonna screw him. Any guesses?

It's like you read my mind, anonymous messenger.

As far as I can see, Flex has a few possible options.

It seems as though the long haired delinquent is interested in Sam Evan's cousin, Sharpay. Will he go for it and break the bro code? Or will he actually be a good friend?

There's the top ho, Santana. She may not be single but come on, who won't she screw? And my sources tell me that they were getting awfully close at Sam's birthday party last weekend.

He could run back to Brittany. Stick with what you know, right? But the blond bimbo has been MIA lately so who knows about her.

Or him and Melrose have been talking lately, who knows what could happen with that.

I'll keep you updated.

[secretsoflimaheights-blog]

And you thought you were safe.

Sorry dears, but just because you've been boring and dull lately doesn't mean I can't conjure somethingup from you bunch of misfits. But for now, if you've got something to say, go right ahead on over to my ask box. It's always open for you to spill your secrets, rumors, or just something that I might have missed. I'll keep you updated.