So.
Um. Hi. Iâm still alive. Iâm sorry for disappearing like that. I promise that it wasnât anybodyâs fault - not mad, not avoiding anyone. Initially it was because seeing political stuff/current events was making it hard to convince myself being awake was worth the pain, then it was just⊠easier, I guess, to stay away. Tumblr had become toxic for me, so I ollied the fuck out. Iâm not sorry for that.
I am sorry for not telling anyone what was going on. I know I scared a few of you, probably more. Iâm used to just cutting and running when I get scared, but. I realized how unfair that was to yâall. This isnât a video game I can just stop playing and come back to whenever. I have to think about how my actions impact the people around me.
So. To bring yâall up to speed: Iâm safe, Iâm healthy (or at least Iâm less unhealthy), Iâm relatively stable. Iâm living with my parents, I see an individual therapist twice a week and I go to a DBT (dialectic behavioral therapy) group once a week. Iâm on new medications, including something specific to agoraphobia, and I think the cocktail is working. I volunteer twice a week at my local SPCA, feeding and caring for cats. Iâm in New Jersey at the moment. My brother turned 17 today and my sisterâs getting married tomorrow, and then itâs back to California.
I donât plan to come back to Tumblr, certainly not right now and certainly not as much as I used to be. I just figured I owed you all an apology, and an explanation. Iâll try to pay attention for the next week or so if any of you want other ways to contact me or want to ask questions or talk or whatever.Â
I love you guys, and Iâm sorry if I hurt anyone by not communicating.




















