So.
Um. Hi. I’m still alive. I’m sorry for disappearing like that. I promise that it wasn’t anybody’s fault - not mad, not avoiding anyone. Initially it was because seeing political stuff/current events was making it hard to convince myself being awake was worth the pain, then it was just... easier, I guess, to stay away. Tumblr had become toxic for me, so I ollied the fuck out. I’m not sorry for that.
I am sorry for not telling anyone what was going on. I know I scared a few of you, probably more. I’m used to just cutting and running when I get scared, but. I realized how unfair that was to y’all. This isn’t a video game I can just stop playing and come back to whenever. I have to think about how my actions impact the people around me.
So. To bring y’all up to speed: I’m safe, I’m healthy (or at least I’m less unhealthy), I’m relatively stable. I’m living with my parents, I see an individual therapist twice a week and I go to a DBT (dialectic behavioral therapy) group once a week. I’m on new medications, including something specific to agoraphobia, and I think the cocktail is working. I volunteer twice a week at my local SPCA, feeding and caring for cats. I’m in New Jersey at the moment. My brother turned 17 today and my sister’s getting married tomorrow, and then it’s back to California.
I don’t plan to come back to Tumblr, certainly not right now and certainly not as much as I used to be. I just figured I owed you all an apology, and an explanation. I’ll try to pay attention for the next week or so if any of you want other ways to contact me or want to ask questions or talk or whatever.
I love you guys, and I’m sorry if I hurt anyone by not communicating.
