Barely Alive

Oh Sehun • 18 • Heart reserved for Him • Pansexual • Supernatural • Absorption The world ended, but it seems like his life had just began. Key: Thoughts. Written words.. /Written words/ . "Spoken words". ((Just a rp account. Action and para are weclomed. Closed rp. +18 material))

[sagwa84]

[i-growl-growl-growl]

[parkchanyeools-blog]

when the baby wolf…

grows and turns in a hot guy…

he decides to become the alpha male of your group…

[ohsehunn]

(╥_╥)

[sehun-dbd]

Tap tap || Sehun x Joonyoung

[acejaehwa]

Joonyoung closed his eyes and lit up another cigarette. He blew out a puff of smoke and adjusted his leather jacket and all the things on his bag. The slender young man looked around and hummed a bit. “Look, I can’t ignore the tracking when its simply so close…so just please come out,” he said, coming close to where the other was hiding. Joonyoung was probably one of the best people to travel with and trust, since his tracking capabilities enabled the young man to sense everything that was coming.

Tuning into his ability again, Joonyoung opened his eyes. “Look, kid, wherever, you’re hiding here, we have to move. Government agents will be here soon. Basically we have about ten minutes to get away from here,” he said, checking his voice. “So you have a reason to trust me,” he added. He knew he didn’t sound extremely trustworthy but he was good.

[sehun-dbd]

He peeked from behind his safe corner, his lips jutted into a pout and in his position he almost looked like an actual puppy, a really frightened one.

He covered his ears when the other spoke, although that didn't do much to help. He quite just hoped for the best possible outcome and kind of prayed the ground will swallow him whole and spit him out back to safety but he had no such luck. He let out the smallest of whimpers when the male quite firmly confirmed knowing he was there and finally let his hands drop, looking at the figure again, his nose scrunching as he wondered where could the male have possible gotten himself one of those cancer sticks and why is he trying to make his already possibly short life, any shorter.

His eyes widened at the metion of government and at that moment he rose up, a bit too quickly. His vision grew blurry for a moment or two and he found himself stumble on unstable feet towards the other-- quite blantly ignoring them as he walked towards the exist without much of a notice to them, hoping to kind of just turn invisible and manage to sneak (or maybe not so much sneak) right under their nose.

[sehun-dbd]

-Sits in the middle of the road and tosses pebbles onto the ground, quite bored as he watches it barely bounce off before stilling on the hot cement-

[sehun-dbd]

Broken melody || Sehun X Amber

[amberdbd]

She watched the boy carefully from her hiding spot. All he seemed to be doing was looking at the instruments. Amber thought she could try to make a break for the door, but decided against it when she figured he might be one of those people who didn’t immediately try to harm you at first meeting.

With a shaky breath she stood up from behind the counter. Amber walked “confidently” towards him and gave a small smile. 

"Hi," She started. "Guess you heard me. Sorry about that, I don’t really know how to play." 

[sehun-dbd]

He blinked at the female in surprise, not really expecting anyone to show up from the shadows and reveal themselves, he knew he probably wouldn't. With a small smile he held out his hand before quickly withdrawing it, his eyes wide at the sudden realization.

Boy had he changed. A few years back he'd had fled the spot the moment he heard a peep and here he is almost shaking hands, touching, a stranger.

Settling for a bow and a salute, he reached for his notebook quickly and began writing, "So, why were you here so late? You could have attracted yourself dangerous people. Are you stupid?"

He didn't mean to be rude, not really. He just didn't know better. It's definitely been a while since his last normal human communication--- besides Yifan.

[sehun-dbd]

Wow I still have one open para from like 6 months ago. stares at it. 

anyway ,sumin, yeah it's my birthday again ikr im getting old ugh. people who'd been here from the beginning know me for over a year and a half woo.

Tracker; 

Owe to; 

Taekwoon

Amber

Joonyoung

Kyungsoo (TOTALLY FORGOT YOU WROTE ME A STARTER SORRY MAN0

Waiting on;

Yixing

Chanyeol

Yifan

Chen

(EXO rpers are so lazy??)

Wow that's it? That's sad- 

Umm ppl. Like hey.

Hi.

LIKE HELLO.

Cum plot with me. I meant come. OrdidI?

I'm a bit high. Okay so yeah hiheyhello Plot with me. Or smthn.

[sehun-dbd]

I totally suck at this being active thing. BUT good news is me and Sumin are going to make a few changes in the directory and because my dad is a douche and gives me a hard time, Sumin will update it once we have it all settled out so you won't wait for too long and jesus I still need to make an event crap. Umm ANYWAY I HAVE A BIRTHDAY IN LESS THAN A MONTH, WHAT ARE U LIL POOPS GETTING FOR ME? HMM? MAYBE SOME PLOTS? YE THAT'LL BE NICE.

[sehun-dbd]

If today was my last day. / Diary entry #

I remember how in the past I used to love music. I mean, music was my only savior. My parents abused me, hated me, wanted to dispose of me. My only real friend was my butler that I came to realize he only faked his affection for me because of his work and because he wanted something from me. What else could I have? I had one friend during that time and we hung around for maybe a month before he had to leave with his dad. 

Honestly my life sucked. And that's the sad part about this all. Because even though it sucked I still miss it and wish for it to return. I prefer abusal than this petty excuse for existance any time. 

Anyway, my point was, I remember this one song that went something like;

"If today is your last day and tomorrow was too late, could you say goodbye to yesterday?" Or something like that. It was in English and I grew a bit rusty. Stupid boyfriend teaches me Chinese but not English. Idiot.

Anyway, this song came to mind the other night and I kept thinking to myself, right now each day that passes by can be my last day. I can't promise myself or anyone that tomorrow I'll wake up to a new day. I can't promise Yifan a forever by his side. I can't have him promise me that either. At any day another set of awful events can errupt and kill what's left of human population. Or I can get killed by someone or something that won't like me. Or I can even catch a cold! A cold that'll go badly and I'll die all pale and green and red nose and mucus and gross and make Yifan sick to his stomach.

Wow I think I'm getting shallow, I care more about what Yifan will think of me if I look ugly while I'm dying rather than the fact I'll be dying.

Anyway as I tried to remember more lyrics and words of the song I came to realize how much I'm wasting precious minutes and seconds of my life. How every slipping moment is a moment I won't have back and that if I won't make the most of it, I might never get a chance to do it again.

I kept thinking to myself that right now is the youngest I'll ever be again. Right now I'm alive and well and this might not happen again. Right now is where I need to live. Not the tomorrow, not to worry about what might happen next year, or month.. or even tonight. I need to live the right now because if I won't, I might not get the chance to enjoy life ever again.

Today I decided I'll find food, vegetables that are safe to eat (I read all books I could find about food because after that one time I ate mushrooms and nearly died from the fever, I decided to be more careful) and cook! I mean I never did that before... okay maybe that cake for Luhan's birthday but we had to close three bathrooms that day on the second floor of the hotel because.. boy was that bad.

I'll find some food and I think I found an olive tree somewhere in town. I can try making oil to fry them. We still have some gas, Yifan keeps stealing gas from a lot of different places and since we don't use it often, it usually lasts for long. And then I'll find some fruits for a dessert. If I'll be able to hunt meat I might try to cook that too but the best I can try are small animals and I can't just get myself to do it no matter how many times I tried. I end up thinking of the puppy Yifan gave me and how someone might try one day to hunt him and what if this creature is someone's pet, or worse.. only friend? I can't seem to find myself killing something with big eyes and a pulse.

Yifan keeps telling me I'm too nice for the end of the world. I keep telling him he's right. And then we both wonder how did I even manage on my own.

Anyway after I'll make the food and set the table, I'll grab Yifan and force him to share a romantic meal with me. I might throw in flowers to make it special. Speaking of which, I found a way to make flour on your own so if we can grow wheat and rice I might be able to make us something that is more than just.. plain food. Maybe even bread! I found this huge book of DIY food and it's not just recipes there but ways to create your own.. well almost everything. I still wish Yifan will allow me to find us a cow. I want to drink milk again. 

So I've decided I

ll make my best to just create us this cute romantic meal together. Then when we're done I'll grab Yifan and pull him to the couch with me and wrap his arms around me and fall asleep like that because I tend to fall asleep easily on a full stomach and then I'll probably start squirming and swatting at him because he'll start nuzzling my neck as always even though he knows how ticklish I'm there and then we'll laugh and tomorrow when I wake up, I'll know I might have not done too much, but I've done enough to make sure it was worth it.

Every day, when and if I wake up again, I want to make sure I look at the day before and smile proudly to myself, thinking that what I did was totally worth it. That I am not regretting any wasted moment. 

I want to know that if today will be my last day alive, I will be happy to die knowing I spent it doing the things I want, the things that make me happy. I'll drag Yifan with me for walks. Another day at the beach. A walk in the park. Catching butterflies because why not? Looking at the sky, counting stars. Hugging, kissing, making love. 

If Yifan is all I have left in this world, I want every second I breathe spent with him. I want to leave knowing I made my life worth it. I want my last breath to carry Yifan's name following by a weak but sincere I love you. I want to know that if today was my last day, I can say goodbye to yesterday with sincere heart.

After all, we all get to die one day, right? So it doesn't matter what or when will you go, the road ends at the same destination. The only thing that matters is how you made your journey worth it.

Each day is a gift, and not a given right. So do whatever it takes 'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life Let nothing stand in your way 'Cause the hands of time are never on your side.

[lovesehunnee-deactivated2014081]

[4thfloors]

[ohsehunismydaddy]

[angelanguyen7-deactivated201508]

flower boy ♥ on We Heart It.

[sehun-dbd]

Happy birthday to... me. || Self para

So I think it's my birthday this week. That's nice, right? I'll be like... what? Nineteen? Twenty? Ah I don't really remember anymore. 

I miss cakes. And I miss blowing out candles and ask for dumb wishes that might never happen. Now your only wishes can be 'I wish I won't get killed. I wish those I love won't get killed'. Such a sad, pathetic life.

I remember I once wished to find someone who'll love me for who I am. For all my flaws and my abilities and abnormalities. I guess sometimes birthday wishes do come true because I met Yifan, so that's good. I also met Luhan which is probably dead now (I remember spending a big handful of nights crying myself to sleep at the thought and having Yifan waking me up from nightmares because apparently I was kicking really hard in my sleep.) and a brother.. half brother. That is also probably dead. And Chanyeol, that changed so I don't know what to think anymore. Basically I met so many people.. most of them are dead. I am happy though, that the world spared me Yifan. If I'll lose him, I'll probably go mad and end up killing myself one way or another. I don't deal well with loss, especially if it'll be someone as important to me as him.

I really miss presents too. Opening dumb things you'll put aside in a closet and forget all about it because why the hell do you need a decorative candle that smells like vanilla that's supposed to have spme special powers to make you have a beautiful future or something like... or why do you need the exact same pair of sneakers you already have in black, in grey? It's stupid, but still, it shows people care... or at least didn't forget and pretend to care. I miss that. I want that again.

This week my present will probably be a kiss from Yifan, some cuddling and hopefully a shared meal. Not so sure about that last part either. I guess life changes, huh?

I still remember when I got you last year, diary. I think that if I somehow could fall for Yifan even more than I already loved him, I did that day. 

I think one day if the humans will manage to rise up to their glory and build up the world again, I'll make Yifan celebrate the best birthday I'll ever have with me. Even if we're both past ninty. I'll drag him to an amusement park and to buy really fattening, bad for your heart foods and just kiss him obnoxiously around people because he's mine even if he's wrinkly and old and has no teeth anymore. Besides, I think he'll age gracefully. It's me who'll probably look older than I really am because I always worry about stupid things and it's really bad for you.

I want a birthday, diary. I want cake and dumb presents and candles that I can blow and ask for something dumb like a working TV when life gets boring or maybe a piano to practice on or just.. I don't know. I don't want to ask for food because ours is starting to run low, I don't want to ask for safety, I don't want to ask not to be killed and I don't want to ask for cleaner water because sometimes I get sick from drinking the water we have now. I don't want to be old and collective! I don't want to be thoughtful about these things and worry about what tomorrow might hold! I want a party and I want to be stupid in it and I want to just cling to Yifan and make him carry me around because I'm a prince that day and he should treat me really really nicely. And just.. I just want to have a normal life back.

One day if Yifan will read this, he'll probably roll his eyes. Or maybe feel sad for me because I'm still a little brat of a child. Or maybe he'll feel sad because he can't really get me what I want... I don't want him to do any of these. I want him to hug me without a word and whisper to me happy birthday even if it's not my birthday and just tell me he loves me and everything will be okay. 

I think that this year... this'll be my birthday wish.

[poutbaek]

lovely krishun (♥u♥) D-3

[lovelyeureurongday]