凪

hope and i pray— DARLING, THAT YOU WILL STAY.

[seishiroh]

when i take a look at my life & all of my crimes,

hiii ! it's rowi. 20's. she/her. writes for bllk, hq, genshin, jjk ... (?)

mainly sfw but blog is 18+

about me - dni / cards of fate

꒰ your fate, my hands... ꒱

+ for whatever it's worth.

+ three knots.

+ take a chance smau.

we're brewing . . .

– four-leaf clover (bachira)

– the playlist that helped me write three knots.

INBOX OPEN ! :3

you're the only thing that i think i've got right.

[seishiroh]

your theme ughhh i hate you for being so creative 😒 (jk i love you n your angsty fics mwah lemme kiss 💋💋💋)

(๑-﹏-๑) ty !!! i'm ngl i tried my best since i made this acc not to default back into the violet shades but haaaaaaaaaa i cannot stop the urge ! here have kith ٩( ˘ ³˘)۶♥

[seishiroh]

— in my dreams, you love me back.

— just a drabble. angst. unrequited feelings. friends to not so lovers.

you used to want this.

for over a year, you wasted so much time trying so hard to move on from sae itoshi.

that's probably why you feel silly now. somehow, right now, you wish you felt the same way you did before. just for him. your only exception.

instead, you stand in front of him and you're comfortable enough again to be playing with his fingers.

you think you might've truly been so stupid to want more at one point—to think that the way he hugged you and placed his hand on top of your head so often meant anything more.

but sae itoshi, for the past few years, has been your best friend and only that.

as he will only be for the next few years.

when you hurt inside like this, it makes you wonder if you've truly moved on. silly crush turned love unrequited. but you've stopped hanging onto him, all wide-eyed and willing, it must mean you've moved on—or getting there.

it's hard to know for sure. especially when he still feels as safe, as comforting as when you still loved him with everything you've got.

and you were so obvious.

but now, it seems everything has died down.

that's why you're about to tell him this.

"sae," you speak his name so softly. always laced with underlying affection, something that might just never change.

he hums, blinking at you.

everything about you looks—feels serene to sae right now. your voice, your smile, the expression on your face.

"i used to love you," you admit, sounding so brave, so proud.

sae has always known. you acted so tough and unfeeling so often but you're so soft and keep your heart on your sleeve, especially when it's with him.

"what's the point of telling me this?" he frowns, eyebrows furrowed together.

"well, i'm doing this for me, sae," you laugh a little. "not for you."

a heavy sigh leaves you, sae watches it. watches you. and he can't help but be hyperaware of the way you're still playing with his fingers.

"i know it's all in the past and i know you knew," you continue, "and i know i said i just wanted to be friends despite it all, but somewhere along the way i started hoping you might feel the same way."

the corners of your mouth twitch, your eyes turning glassy, you're about to cry but you're stubborn enough not to let the tears fall.

"but you never did, sae," you utter under your breath. he can't tell if you realize you're gripping on his hand tighter, but he doesn't say a word. "and it hurt, the whole time."

you inhale, smile trembling, breathe out shakily. a single tear betrays you and it's only reflex, he thinks, but sae is quick to catch it. quick to wipe it away.

"i think in another universe i'd still want you to want me, sae," you tell him candidly. "but i think i'm finally glad we can just be friends."

"i just wanted you to know," you smile at him, so prettily.

sae nods, and you think it's because he just understands. for the most part, he does.

it's too bad, really.

sae nods, because he thinks, yeah. in another universe, he'd love for you to want him want you too.

in fact, in this universe, he'd love to let you know he wants you now.

but you that's not what you need anymore.

[seishiroh]

“THREE KNOTS.” / itoshi sae x f!reader.

— sfw. angst. non-established relationship. long distance lovers. pining. fluff. mentioned rin itoshi (not too canon compliant vague state of their relationship.) insecurity. some jealous undertones. misunderstandings. no real comfort.

— not proofread. might be a bit too wordy. also some chance of ooc-ness cause, idk, i tried though. :] ending might've sounded a bit rushed but i was trying to do something and it was not... doing anything. loosely inspired of NIKI's Autumn.

it's a tempestuous relationship—whatever you have with itoshi sae. but he's all you've ever known. whatever love is, it's defined by him.

you met him only three years ago. when he flew to japan to renew his passport only to stay because of blue lock—and whenever you think about it, it's almost like it was meant to be—you and sae.

the meeting him, the wanting him, the wanting you.

you're not sure what it is about him and what it is he saw in you that kept you together then. but his nights were yours. you'd trace your name against his exposed skin and you know he can tell, because you can feel him tense up whenever you do it.

he never stopped you then.

and you wonder which reaction was the most real from sae: the way he'd tense up as you traced your name or that he never told you to stop.

like you could.

like you had him.

you were both only eighteen; it's the first love you've ever known—maybe it's the only love you'll ever come to know.

but sae itoshi's reality is far from yours. so, so far from yours. that's why you're gripping his hand in yours like you'd fall from the earth or float away from it if you let go.

sae doesn't tell you this, not when he needs to board his plane with only a few minutes left, but he almost wishes he could stay with you.

play house, play lovers.

maybe he won't be itoshi sae, and you won't be y/n, but he'd love you the same.

you've gotten only barely a year of you and sae, but at the airport, you hold out your heart—soft and beating fast.

"i love you," you whisper against the pulse right under his ear, like if his heart could hear it, then maybe he won't have to go.

he hears you loud and clear. only because the language of your love is something he could recognize from a mile away.

sae itoshi is only barely nineteen. and i love you are foreign words even if he means to say them.

his thumb brushes against your bottom lip. it's gentle, along with his gaze, trained on the movement.

sometimes you wonder what goes through his mind whenever he does this, just right before he tilts your chin up, teal eyes meeting yours. you're also unsure what it is about sae's eyes that makes them look so piercing; you only ever see it when he's looking right at you.

he leans in, eyes flickering from yours down to your lips, then he brushes his lips against yours—it's barely there—like he's testing it like he hasn't done this a million couple times before.

then he presses a kiss on the corner of your mouth, butterfly kisses, fleeting then coming back for more.

only then—does he really kisses you. he kisses you like it's enough to make up for the words he's not saying.

"i'll come back," he says in between kisses; even at that, he can feel the smile on your lips. it's just a promise, but you smile like you trust him—like you genuinely believed it, like you'd hold him to it even if it took a decade.

"i'll call you when the plane lands," he adds.(because it's the best he could say.)

"it'll be midnight here," you reply, while still gripping on his unzipped tracksuit, your other hand against his chest—because he could keep the words to himself, but you figured the wild thumping of his heart couldn't lie, couldn't ever keep a secret.

"you'll answer," he tells you.

and he's right. he always is.

and one day, you'd wish all of these stolen moments with him were enough. only because they had to have been, only because itoshi sae knew little else outside football, but he knew you.

sae thinks you're quite easy to read from the get-go, but in the months you've spent together, sae has learned you. as though you mattered that much.

you were only barely nineteen. you think you might've shot to the stars when you dreamt about sae itoshi not leaving you or maybe keeping you.

"sae-chan!" his manager yells from a distance, "we have to get in now!"

it's barely there, but you can feel the way he sighs. when sae lets you go and walks away, he doesn't turn back, doesn't wave, doesn't glance to see if you're walking away too.

he doesn't look out the window once he's seated inside the plane; he doesn't watch the view of japan fade away.

but at one thirty-six am, your phone is ringing.

you pick up at the first ring—because you haven't slept, subconsciously waiting for his call.

his voice filters in first, too monotonous for the words he's saying, "i should've asked you to come."

you laugh. only because you know he doesn't mean it, not really.

you miss him already, though. so you allow his little lie. besides, maybe it's not a complete lie. perhaps he really thinks so, but even if he did, he'd never allow it.

unlike you, allowing his calls at midnight to talk about the day and whisper empty promises for the next few months.

"after soccer," he says silently, "we can stay together."

his voice is warmer through the phone, mostly from his exhaustion than anything, but you think it must mean something at least—that it's always you on the other end of the line whenever he comes home, it's always you on the receiving end of his smile through the screen, always you that you see him texting after his team wins a match.

"after soccer," you echo him with a laugh, "i don't think there's an after soccer for you, sae."

your tone isn't malicious when you tell him this, and he's not sure what comes first—that he knows he's hurting you or that he loves you more for understanding.

"i'll figure it out," he answers you, completely serious. he says he will like he could do it all on his own.

"i'll figure it out with you," you say. "i'm right here with you, sae," and you tell him because you think he needs the reminder.

it's odd, you hope you're not wrong, but you can feel sae smiling through the phone in the silence.

when you whisper these promises to each other, promises that are as empty as they are pretty—you think it must mean something.

sae only wanted things that pushed him towards his goals but then there was you... and for a while, you thought you belonged there.

it must mean something, that there was you—running and trying so hard to catch up to his dreams because he wanted you there. running eastward to the warmth that sae had reserved only for you.

but if you were more honest with yourself, there is nothing between you and sae.

sometimes, when sae is gone from you and far into his own world, you think perhaps you might've truly been delusional to think you ever had a shot at calling him yours.

that's why when he gets involved in a dating scandal—with someone who's not you—you have to pretend everything is fine. you think it shouldn't be much of a challenge to do so, since no one even knows about you and sae.

as for sae, you wait for his calls, but for the next few weeks, they never come.

still, you try to think maybe it's your fault. you haven't reached out since then, but he hasn't either; you're stuck with nothing but a promise that you're starting to doubt ever even existed.

you know you love him, and you'd like to think that somewhere in his heart, sae loved you too.

except it's not enough to keep you from doubting otherwise until itoshi rin comes knocking on your door, plane ticket in hand, like whatever you had with sae hadn't ended when you stopped talking to him weeks ago.

but sae's little brother is there, telling you to come to sae because his brother's not doing well without you.

you're not sure what it means because sae seems to have been doing just fine when you saw his recent game—especially when you saw a picture of him leaving a building with the rumored girlfriend.

that's why you're shaking your head at rin, who's still standing by your front door. at rin, who's sighing and finally relenting.

"i don't care what you do, i'm just here to give this," he tells you (and you can't help but pick up on the way he speaks like sae) but he reaches out and takes your hand, leaving you the plane ticket and walking away without so much as a goodbye.

the flight isn't til three more days.

you stare at it, laid on the palm of your hand, and somehow you feel like crying. sighing, you close your door and leave the plane ticket on your coffee table.

maybe the universe would do you a favor and let the wind take care of it, fly out the window or fall somewhere you couldn't find.

the next morning, it's still there.

when you come home, it's still there. you consider ripping it, hoping you won't let yourself stumble over and stupidly back into sae's arms somehow.

but when the night comes and there's a gaping hole in your chest where sae resides, you miss him so much you think you'd die—your resolve breaks. you think about texting him because that's the easiest part, but the curtains of your window sway forward at the wind, and it makes you think of sae and the way it's the first thing he does when he wakes up, opening the window and letting the air in, and how it would be so lovely to see him do it when you're there.

there's a plane ticket taunting you.

you figure flying all the way to spain for sae is crazy but if it meant seeing his face, hearing his voice—if it meant you'd have the chance to keep him in any way he'd allow, perhaps it'd be worth it.

rin sends you a message just as you're boarding the plane the next day; it's an address to an apartment in spain and instructions to contact sae's manager once you land.

you follow it all—heart over head until he's right in front of you, lithe fingers curling over the handle of your luggage and rolling it inside his apartment—where all his windows are open, all wind and sunlight pouring in.

"rin said you didn't wanna come," he speaks up, turning to look at you awkwardly standing by the door.

"i didn't—" you try to say, but it feels like a lie, "but i missed you more."

sae walks up to you, his hands tucked inside his jacket and his stare that never really gives away how he feels.

"why not?"

you give him a shrug. "is there someone else, sae?" you ask, so blunt and earnest that his lips twitch in a smile.

sae reaches out, holds onto your hips, "you've got a good brain in there. use it," he replies, lets your question fall back to you, "is there, y/n?"

you frown at him like you're a child telling him he's being unfair. "there might," you pause, "but then i'd have to leave," but your hands moving to his chest doesn't make it convincing.

his heart jumps at your touch, it beats steadily. it's a rhythm only you're privy to.

"...there isn't," he says finally, eyebrows furrowing. "you're with me."

you smile because you believe him, "you stopped calling, though?"

"you were upset," he quips.

you nod, point taken. "and you let me be upset at you, itoshi sae? just like that? and let me think maybe you don't love me after—?"

the scowl on his face is quick to form as you spoke, "shut up," he says, completely serious.

"will you say sorry?" you say instead, trying to sound teasing, but your voice is soft and it's the easiest thing in the world for sae to pick up on.

"no," he whispers, pulling you even closer.

"make it up to me?" you continue even though you know he'll shake his head, stand his ground. not scared enough to test his patience, even though maybe you should be.

you want to let up, to take it as it is. to love him with no need for anything else, but the reality of your feelings win and you're asking another question before you could stop yourself.

"am i with you, sae?"

"stupid," he mutters. "i love only you."

right there, in his hold and the sunlight hitting him just right, you find yourself in itoshi sae's apartment for the first time, finally offering you his affections.

perhaps the world can have him every other way, but him just like this, you get to have all for yourself. in the way he pulls you in, presses kisses to your skin. in the way he comes through the door and searches for you in the room, and he smells so good and feels so safe for no reason at all.

while you're there, still unknown to the world, your hands are intertwined beneath the tables when he takes you out, it feels just enough.

in the mornings, you wake up early with him. it's contagious—he's contagious. his habits and idiosyncrasies. when you're brushing your teeth, he's carelessly littering kisses on your neck until you're scolding him about how you can't move. he gives your hips a pat—once, twice—peers at you through the mirror, then he's off.

sometimes, you wonder what it would be like to be able to call him yours. say he's your boyfriend, mean something more.

you think about how nice it would be if you could stay here with him. play house, play lovers.

and no one had to know, because he was enough.

but when sae's stopped for a post match interview and they're asking about her—the girl in the pictures—you wonder if you're enough. because sae stops only for a moment, then he’s sneering at them to fuck off.

under the sheets and a few hours left before you fly back to japan, sae's room is dim in the night. you tug on the necklace he keeps on all the time, bodies pressed together in a bed only fit for him.

he hums, eyes sewn shut still.

"are you only ever with me, sae?"

there's a beat of silence. sae knows exactly what you're talking about, but he's almost sure nothing he could say will never stop you from wondering what if.

so he doesn't try to dispel it, but at least he pulls you in and presses a kiss on top of your head.

he offers you a whisper of yes, and that's all you get.

you're not sure why sae is risking this, when the media always has their eyes on him, but he insists on bringing you to the airport.

there's a sinking feeling in your gut you can't quite shrug off. but sae is holding your hand, igniting your body aflame, peering over you like there's so much he wants to say.

your anxiety insists that it's nothing good. the words never come, though; just sae hooking a finger around one of the belt loops of your jeans to pull you in.

he tugs one, two, three times more, securing you close to him and then he's cupping your face in his hands, kissing you like it's the last time.

all sweeter, all slower. almost like if he cause pause the time, stay there forever, he might actually do it.

you wonder if he feels it now, the way you felt a year ago. in the airport, not really sure when you'd see each other again.

sae doesn't tell you to call him when your plane lands.

instead, he tells you to send him a message when you're home. you nod only because it feels better not to shatter this now, when he's all affection and the one who loves you most.

it's the first thing you do.

your chest is burdened with a weight that doesn't truly exist until his message comes before yours.

we're done.

you'd think that if you anticipate the pain, it would hurt less. but it doesn't, not for the quick sob that rips itself out of your chest, not for the tears that start falling before you make sense of it.

it's only a two-year run and you're barely twenty-one, but you think you'd be sae's forever.

it's a love hard-earned, hard-learned. a love letting go of you before you even stood a chance.

you tell him you're home, just like promised. right before you delete his number, because if you knew sae at all, he'd have your contacts deleted soon enough—if you're optimistic, maybe he'd do it more for him than you.

and miles away, you're right. while you grieve the love you'd always want, sae makes sure he won't crumble from thinking what if.

this is the choice he made for your sake, for his. he could only hope to god if he could finally keep you close to his chest, that you would still let him.

it's a terrible fate, though.

sae could only come back when the chance no longer exists.

[angelismmm]

all i see is red. ⟢ with jealous! hsr men

— synopsis. jelly welly hsr men, god, your touchy male 'friend' definitely didn't wanna lay off you, and didn't wanna just be friends, and it's like you didn't mind, hell you didn't even say anything when the guy made you uncomfortable?? why?! seems like you were too nice to say anything, he'll just show who you belong to, and hopefully he'll fuck off.

— a letter from the author. taking advantage of the algorithm especially when it comes to this!! 1.5k notes on the 7mih helpp, this is my revenge post because i got claras card thing, and not her at 90 pity on the standard banner. you will see how much emotion i put into this. i lowkey just put them into to categories; nice and polite while the guy is around, and absolute bodyblock barrier while you hangout with him, or both, giggles

— heads up. smutty at the end of each thing, sextapes (caelus), kidnapping mentioned (dan heng & jing yuan), masturbation (all of them), possessiveness (most of them), creepy guy alert (the guy friend im talking about weeee), killing (blade/sampo), hickeys mentioned (most have), public fucking, just beware sex is everywhere, NOT IMPLIED FEM READER, TY !!!!

DAN HENG

・he never liked your 'friend'. he was almost too touchy with you whenever he got to hangout with you (& him). it seemed like he forgot you even had a boyfriend, a very dedicated one too. and he did not approve of this guy's actions at all. and it didn't help at all that he flirted with you for the fun of it, yeah right. he obviously wanted to get rid of him, and get with you. he isn't easily fooled, and that is so bold, of him to assume he can't see right through his little schemes to take you. too late honestly, because you loved him way more than that guy friend of yours. he's way better anyway. more utc.

・anything that the guy friend of yours offered? thinks there is an ulterior motive to it, and politely declines, makes it more obvious if he continues trying to shove the 'homemade food' that the guy made for him and his s/o. dan heng is not one for a lot of pda, but he's willing to hold your hand, by your waist, kisses on the cheek, hell, he'd go so far to kissing you on the lips and giving a hickey or two just to try telling the guy you already were his. always have been. but he kept trying... it's like an annoying little bug that won't stop 'till he stomps it dead. well, that's quite alright, he's willing to stab the hell out of this guy, gouge his eyes out and skin him alive, makes dan heng more protective and possessive if the guy tries anything that makes you uncomfortable. just really can't take the hint, huh?

・as he starts to do more things that made you uncomfortable but you were too nice to say anything, the angrier glances he gave to the guy while you looked away. trying to get the whole "you're making my s/o uncomfortable. get away." message, and best bet the guy just takes him as jealous that he was reeling his girl in. it really was the polar opposite. whenever he tried asking about the guy at home? you immediately change the topic, it was worse than dan heng thought. do.. you want him.. to perhaps.. get rid of him completely? just say the word, and he will..

nsfw ?!

・i will put most of the guys underneath 2 different sections on what they would do, and dan heng the type of guy to kidnap the creepy touchy flirtacious friend of yours, and fuck you infront of him :)

・might be a bit of a stretch, but thinking about it, he would, right infront of the man who thought he'd fuck your hole better? yeah right. you were made for him, dan heng, no one else, praises you like crazy, saying you're doing well and stuff, like there's no tomorrow, and every now and then glances at the guy, cloth tied around his mouth to keep him quiet, actual metal cuffs around his hands, and feet to keep him from moving, he really wants to show you aren't single, at all, wants to let him know, for the millionth time, you belonged to him, not him, not anyone else, he already marked you infront of him and that wasn't much of a hint? he's dumber than he looks. probably blindfolds you so you don't see the guy, but just keep letting out those pretty little moans of yours so he could get to work, ever since you introduced that sketchy guy to him, and saw his actions, this is a dream come true.

・makes real fucking sure he sees how good your boyfriend, dan heng, makes you feel, so much that the image of you and him will appear in that man's mind if you ever dare to think any bad or if he's a bad boyfriend to you, the slow hours that he'd fuck you in, it will make an impact on the poor man's mind. it was his fault anyway, dan heng gave him soo many chances, all he had to do was back off, he knew dan heng was yours, and you were dan heng's. and he didn't lay off. well, there's a price to pay when you date someone so beautiful as you are, getting to be in you felt better than being given a whole galaxy.

・when he can, he'll probably come back to this moment and jerk off to it, it was one of the first actual times you both got to do anything intimate after getting of jarilo VI. and the xianzhou situation really kept postponing anything between you too, just as so far to instead going on dates during the mission, maybe even quickies in alleyways. really loved the image of you being blindfolded, and moaning like a bitch in heat for his cock, nothing gave him more pleasure. maybe except you.

CAELUS

・poor baby, trying his best to not let the guy do anything more to make you more uncomfortable. the first few pickup lines and slight touchiness was.. bearable. but when he started getting too close for comfort, like almost kissing you at times, and that the guy claims it to be 'accidents'? tripping on nothing doesn't count as an accident, and he was right beside you, why didn't he go tumbling down with you? doesn't matter anymore, he's making you uncomfortable, so whenever you were too nice to decline the guy's offer, he'd come along and act as a barrier between you two. he doesn't want anymore accidents like that to happen, does he? no worries, caelus to the rescue!

・still never trusted him enough to take anything the guy offered, he would take it, but throw it away into the trash, where he and it belong. he tries to be emotionally understanding to the guy, but he just keeps hitting on you, how is he supposed to just sit there watching his s/o become uncomfortable, will body block any advance the man will attempt to do. he loves you like the sun, and he can't just let the sunshine in his life go.

・always, and i mean always advised you to just cut him off, but you felt like it was too rude. but it was so rude of him to continuosly flirt with you infront of your boyfriend. and you really couldn't say anything to not be 'impolite'. he was mad definitely, but not, never more mad at the guy, caelus would give an immensely huge amount of clues and hints to the guy that you're taken, he literally goes with you to your hangouts with the guy, is that not enough? what a blind guy, like how blind you were to realize he liked you. it's okay though, nothing a little video can help him realize that you're taken.

nsfw ?!

・will film you guys fucking. now i know i said i'd split the categories here into two, and i know not all the guys would do this, but think about it, that's all im saying. anyways, will film you both making love, capturing every little pretty moan you let out, and how well you take his cock in you, placing hickeys on you while praise spills off his lips, whispering just how good you feel, seems like the vanilla kind of guy, but i promise you he isn't always vanilla, like this kind of moment, will go rough. and really harsh with it. during these kind of days too, he will leave marks and hickeys on you, gets pleasure from it honestly.

・sends a picture and a small clip to the guy with a smiley face and captioned "never fucking speak to them again. they're mine, not yours, not anyone else's. :)"

・doesn't do this often, but again when he can: will stroke himself to the same image he sent <3 you just looked too pretty for him to not get erect by looking at the picture! he's sorry really, he just loves you so much.. probably fucked you infront of a mirror, just so you could see how much of a mess you were for him, just for him~

SAMPO

・at first, thinks it's funny, no one is as charismatic as him than himself. he thinks it's funny that guy can take you away from him, yeah right, not in a million years. when the guy starts to become obnoxiously flirty and touchy with you, that's when he starts to become protective, before that, he just thought it was funny. but he's actually trying to.. get with his amazing s/o when you clearly have the most perfect partner to be with you, no matter how much he decided to mark up your neck, and made sure the man saw him placing another, and he still kept trying to hit on you, not like you'd fall for someone like that guy, he makes you uncomfortable and is overly touchy. and to be frank, sampo is not that bad of a boyfriend, when you get closer to each other, is a big big sweetheart. literal angel tbh<3

・did take what the guy made, like food or etc, and poured it all into the trash while the man was looking. and mouthed words "stay away from my spouse :D". will always and from whenever the guy starts to go over the line, sampo will start holding you close, and is oddly more erotic than usual. will whisper in your ear how horny he is, but aside that, the guy seems like the thirdwheel in this situation, and that is not what he wanted at all, he didn't want it to be like that at all, and sampo sensed that a long time ago, as soon as the guy tries to lean in to close, sampo will go in for a kiss between the both of you.

・at some point kind of was scared you'd leave him for someone else, but your reassurance will always keep him relieved and safe to know that the person he loves the most and admires will always stay with him, forever, and now.

nsfw ?!

・probably will either kidnap the guy and fuck you infront of him, or will kill the guy and fuck you anyway. depends on his mood. hard & rough sex with him, because he's jealous, it's obvious enough, not just jealous, he's mad you just stood there and didn't tell the guy to fuck off. it's alright now though, he probably gets off to your frightened expression as he fucks your hole, seems like that kind of guy. his back just painted with all your scratches, putting you into a mating press does something to him idk. can't help but tell you your dazed expression from his cock was adorable!

・even after sex he'd probably would will eat/blow the hell outta your pussy/dick, sorry not sorry. kind of guy to fuck you in random alleyway somewhere in belobog, and makes sure the guy friend sees you guys at some point.

・likes to come back to that moment while you and him are fucking, just knowing that guy saw you both relentlessly so in the moment with each other in a public place, and no, just staying silent is not a choice with him, there's a reason why you just let the guy trip over nothing and trip on you as a result, there's an answer to why you did that. he knows it, and he'll fuck the answer out of you if he needs to.

WELT YANG

・already protective of you, and the guy just made him even more protective (+ possessive).. unlike before that welt really just followed you around without really having to do much that gave signs you were together, matching rings, possibly matching jackets/cardigans, literally holding hands, and the guy asks "is he your brother?" just gives him a really plain look, like what the fuck you guys didn't even look that much alike each other. before you could say anything though he'll kiss you on the lips, and it's a really long kiss to just rub it in.

・will intentionally bump into you when you receive stuff like food from the creepy guy, like will spill it on the floor, like fully calculated solution too, oh no the guy's gift suddenly fell on the floor and the 5 second rule isn't real oh nooo just seems like we cant do anything about it.. that's okay, welt just happens to have your favorite snack prepared for you right in his pocket (he wants to be better than the guy in every way possible). will one-up the guy on everything just to make sure he proves that he's better for you, that's his little red flag, just if he's jealous.

・scared if you're ever more impressed by the creep than him, scared of replacement probably, more scared if you even are comfortable with the touchiness that the guy does near you, kind of guy to actually sit between you two because he knows the guy will try something. holds your hand constantly, even if the guy makes him uncomfortable and anxious himself, he doesn't want you to feel the same.

nsfw ?!

・just the type of man to block him everywhere on your end, and fuck you pretty vanilla just to get his mind off it. just wants time with you by himself, and that stupid guy friend of yours just had to interrupt. but all he could is think about how good you feel around him. how well you take him is all and everything on his mind, the tight warmth around his cock is one of the only things that could distract him from anything.

・kind of hesitant at first about blocking the guy, but he knows you're uncomfortable with it, and to make you feel better, he wants to give you the most pleasurable night possible, maybe not the most, that can wait for your wedding night <3

・just really wants to take your mind off that creep, and let you focus on how good his cock is making you feel, those little mewls of yours is proof that his plan is going well! just wants to see your hole overwhelmed with his cum, loves it so much honestly, and has a lowkey breeding kink so be ready to bear his children (real not fake)

・lowkey been dreaming of this moment, he's jerked off to it before, just railing the hell out of you while he's just so calm about it, your dazed, blurry vision, could only see welt's face, the only thing registering in your mind, was his relentless pace, throbbing dick so easily sliding in and out from the cum from all the other rounds, doesn't seem like he'll stop 'till you can't walk at all <3

JING YUAN

・no mercy at all, will side eye the guy all the damn time. wym you gonna give my s/o a gift... fuck off bro... unimaginably and overtly possessive, you are HIS. and why are YOU hanging out with other guys. you are supposed to only be his to talk to smh (he means it as a joke but is jealous you even talk to anyone else.) does not hesitate to make out in front of the guy and mark you all over your neck or what. because you're his, and it's only right he marks what's his before someone tries to take you. blatantly ignores the guy when he tries to talk to him, someone who's trying to take you from him wants to talk to him? yikes... yeah right, no.

・will personally pull him into a private place and tell him to lay off, that he makes you uncomfortable, and that you aren't up for new relationships, because if he really hasn't seen yet, you are his, why and how does this creep that you met 2 days ago will ever one-up someone as great as he is. and he knows you'd pick him over the guy friend any day of the week. intentionally kisses you and while you aren't looking he will glance and smirk at the guy because he knows he just saw you and him kissing, tongue contact and everything.

・why does this guy even keep trying? quite the stubborn brat, he'll just have to show him who you belong to, and he'll die with the secret <3

nsfw ?!

・kind of guy to kidnap the male friend and fuck the shit outta of you infront of him. such a meanie, thrusting so harshly out and inside you again and again, the belly bulge as clear as daylight, and will shove fingers down your throat if you end up being too loud, his little room all the way at the bottom of his home isn't sound proof you know.. but the servants know he fucks you almost every night there anyway, kind of forgets the guy is there and goes down on you like there's no tomorrow.

・makes sure to torture the guy a bit more before he decides or either killing him off or just knocking him out and carrying the man back into the wild, phone in his hand, with a message from you saying "never text or come near my s/o ever again, i hope you had fun watching us last night. <3"

・where did he put the guy exactly? err... totally not onto another planet.... totally.

BLADE

・i would be lying if i said he didn't already place hickeys on your neck, lowkey a kind of high sex drive honestly. and who allowed you to have other friends that are outside of the stellaron hunters, whatever he doesn't wanna seem like the manipulative boyfriend type, he'll let this one slide, for now.

・hates him from the very second he meets the guy. you shouldn't even be friends with such a creep. plus he seems like he just wants to sleep with you then steal all your belongings. and that's when he won't let it slide anymore. no, why the hell would he take a 'gift' from a sketchy looking guy you met 2 days ago?? you already are a gift so he considers it useless, and the guy useless, so desperate for his spouse..

・will grab you by your hair/collar and fuck you there instead, and the guy can't help but overhear your sweet little moans, all bubbling up at once, and he can't help but just indulge himself into what a mess he made you. just like to hold you face up to his while he thrusts so thoroughly wrecking your insides, just as he kisses the tip of your nose and releases into you, gets you dressed up and walks out the alleyway like nothing happened.

nsfw ?!

・as if the 'sfw' section of this wasnt already nsfw LMFOA, anyways, like i said he'll fuck you even while you and the guy are hanging out, just to show who you really belong to, no one else can manhandle you like this, not in a million years. your hole was made for only him anyway.

・doesn't really care about the guy seeing you both or not, and id you are uncomfortable around him he'll be dead by morning and he'll give you a good fucking as an apology for not realizing it sooner, wants to be a better boyfriend fluffy wise, but your fucked up little expression when his cock finally shoots his warm cum into you is much more adorable, he wouldn't trade it for the world <3!

taglist: @edit-me-prettyplease @sucrosia

[hanrinz]

✩ ‧ ₊˚ TROUBLE YOU ! — SAE ITOSHI.

you have a bad habit of forgetting things. thankfully, your roommate, sae is there to remind you.

being roommates with sae comes with a lot of benefits, namely the spacious apartment you love a lot, not worrying about any loud sounds in the middle of the night (courtesy to your previous roommate, who obviously can't live without any music blasting through the walls) and finally, an attractive person you can look at under the same roof.

you can't say the same thing for him though.

especially, when times like this at this very moment happens and sae could only let out a sigh.

it was already 8 pm when you walked into the doors of the field, your hair a little disheveled, your phone and car keys in your hand as you look around the field—for him, he presumes.

and he was right, like almost all the times he remembers whenever you visit him here.

and the looks and knowing smiles of his teammates that were sent his way were rather annoying, especially when their captain would give him that look whenever you're around, "your girl is here, genius." is what he would always say and he'll only shoot back a glare.

and he turns his gaze back to look at you, and you're already halfway through the field, your eyes all bright with a sense of relief in it, and he might just stop and look at you.

and if he doesn't try to silent away the sound of his heart getting a little faster maybe he'll acknowledge it.

"sae!" you yelled, as you scurry off to him with a smile on your face. and he saunters to you with one hand buried in his pockets, meeting you across.

"hi," you breathe out, chest heaving from your little dash. after all, you did run through the entrance of the stadium all the way here, in the fields.

sae has a feeling of what was the reason that brought you here and he's sure what you're about to say next. he raises a brow in question as to what you were doing here and you were quick to pick up on that, like you always do.

"uhm, well..." you start off, with a sheepish look on your face, "i left my key at the apartment." you confessed, a hand coming up to rub on your arms, embarrassed at your clumsy mistake and it doesn't help that it's already the fourth time this month that you've forgotten the keys to your home.

"i figured as much," sae replied, turning his back on you as he walks over to the bench by the sidelines, with you following behind him.

really, how can someone forget something so important? he shakes his head from the thought.

"aw, come on. this will be the last time, i swear!"

"you already said that the last time." he deadpaned.

"i swear! this is the last time, sae. you won't see me here next month!"

he highly doubts it, but sure he'll humour you just this once. he grabs his duffle bag as he turns around to face you, his eyes trail from your eyes to your nose and your lips, before looking away from you just as quick as he would change his expression.

and you didn't point it out, he's grateful.

walking off ahead through where you came from awhile ago. with you still following him, confused.

"hey, where are you going? i only need the keys, sae." you questioned, while trying to catch up to his long strides.

he only gave you a glance before answering you, "we're going home."

"huh? what- wait you still have practice right?"

you were right, of course. but, he won't tell you that, it's not that someone would get mad at him for leaving earlier than usual, but even if someone did, he can't give a single fuck anyway.

and he's sure the guys on the field are giving him big thumbs up and snickering among themselves, he ignored them.

he doesn't answer you. still walking, a little slower now, matching your pace. spotting your car and he's thankful there's no camera or paparazzi on sight—not that he minds being seen with you, though.

because sae would rather lose a limb than be seen with someone else other than you.

"give me your car keys." he didn't even give you a choice, already stealing it from your hands. you didn't stop him, no. what's out there would be brave enough stopping the itoshi sae, when he sets his mind on things? the answer is none.

so, you let him.

maybe, sae has become accustomed to this occurrence. with you, by his side, in his mornings, in his days, in his times. because you bleed like an ink into his life and it seeps through him with color.

he doesn't mind you troubling him at all.

"this is the fourth time, y/n. don't forget your keys."

"i will, i'm trying!" you whined, sounding embarrassed, "it's not like you'd be gone soon, so it's okay for now, right?"

"what if i was away for a game, idiot?" he counter.

"well.. too bad, i'm coming over with you overseas, then."

sae doesn't mind you asking him, but you're just too much trouble for his heart though.

◞♡ omg rosie out of her burnout phase?? we couldn't believe it either :o likes & reblogs are highly appreciated!

[l5mine]

FROM THE START !

don’t you dare look at me that way

nagi seishiro thinks you hate him. you wont talk to him, you avoid him, and, shit. you refuse to even just look at him.

STATUS : ongoing | TAGLIST : open

nagi x f!reader

PROFILES : abangers | anti-selos

O1 - tba !

lia’s chats ¡

written in taglish

inspired by from the start ! ilove u laufey 🤍

i don’t need reminders of how you don’t feel the same

©️ l5mine, 2023

[rintosei-deactivated20240805]

ONE KISS LESS

feat. nagi seishiro x gn! reader

prompt: "bend down a little so i can give you a kiss." (requested by anon for my 1k event! i think nagi is a bit ooc here but you know it's fine)

nagi is a tall guy for someone who's just eighteen years old. you on the other hand was stuck with a short height, just barely reaching 5'2. although there were some perks to being short, nagi loves teasing you about how short you are.

for example, you were struggling with getting the highest cup on the shelf because someone decided to be an annoying little shit and placed it there. however, instead of helping you, nagi only leans against the doorway, stifling a laugh, and said, "you look funny trying to reach the cup."

you gave him the biggest frown you could muster, "shut up and at least help me? don't just stand there and laugh at me!" nagi didn't help you, and instead gives you a smile and leaves. you ended up having to use a chair.

however, nagi being taller than you also has it's own perks. he was able to fully engulf you in a hug when cuddling, scaring weird people off when they try to talk to you because he towers over them, and many other things.

"sei, do you need anything from the grocery store?" you asked as you put your shoes on. when you don't hear a reply, you turn your head to the couch nagi was sitting on and see that he was too focused on his video game.

you sighed and walked over to him and stood in front of him, placing both hands on your hips. "sei, did you hear what i just said?"

"mm? yeah, i did," nagi replies, though his eyes did not leave his phone. "ah, i died." he lets out a sigh and finally looks at you.

"so? do you need anything?" you repeat the question.

"no, don't need anything," nagi replies, letting his phone fall down to the empty space next to him. "you're leaving now, right? bend down a little so i can give you a kiss."

you blinked and let out a laugh. "pft, that sounds funny when you're the one who says it. usually i'm the one who says that whenever you're about to go leave for practice. no wonder you find it amusing."

nagi gives you a glare and stands up, immediately becoming taller than you. "so? kiss me."

"okay that's not fair," you lift your head, annoyed that nagi was now standing. "you can't just stand up after i just said that!"

"hm? i don't like sitting around all day though," nagi teases, and you can't help but want to smack him. "kiss me, y/n."

you grit your teeth in annoyance and instead of kissing him, you turn around and walked to the door. "if you don't need anything else i'm leaving."

nagi makes a sound of surprise and quickly caught up to you, grabbing hold of your wrist as a pout forms on his face. "you can't just leave without giving me a kiss!"

"you were being annoying so no thanks," you give him a cheeky smile. "so if you don't mind, i'll be going-"

nagi suddenly pulls you into a kiss, briefly catching you off guard. your eyes widened in surprise, and when he pulls away, he gives you a smile. "mm, you were saying?" you opened your mouth to say something, but all you can do is just gape at him, cheeks turning red. "what? cat got your tongue?"

"nagi seishiro, what the fuck!" you exclaimed, smacking his forearm (gently of course).

taglist: @hyomagiri @tim-shii @fallenssun @17020 @saetoshi @inariezaki @venusbby @piichuu @yuansen @yuquinzel ♡ (let me know if you want to be added or removed! mutuals only)

[yoichiris]

happily always after | isagi yoichi x reader tags: hurt/comfort, misunderstandings, idiots in love ✩ you think he's going to propose, and maybe he will, maybe he won't.

you shouldn't have heard isagi say that he had bought a ring.

you've had conversations with your boyfriend about marriage. after four years, it was only natural. i'd like to get married one day, you had said a few months ago. in response, he had pulled you in his arms, grinning, me too.

and it was also only natural that on your anniversary dinner, at one of your favorite restaurants, that you thought he would propose.

but you miss the clang of the fork hitting the ground, or maybe you ignored it unconsciously, yet when you see isagi get on his knees, you let out a gasp.

the sound is audible enough that he looks up to you, and that’s when you see the fork in his hand.

“what’s wrong?” he asks, looking concerned.

it wasn’t your fault that you had overheard him. it was an accident. he had been getting ready to leave for practice in the morning, thinking you were asleep, talking hushed with bachira on the phone, and you had heard him clearly say, i'm going to pick up the ring today.

the shame that fills you when you realize he’s on his knees to pick up a fork, and not to propose, is immediate.

“oh! um...” you stutter, your voice cracking, "...n-nothing." you clear your throat uncomfortably.

he looks at you weirdly, before getting back up. you give a shaky smile to the waiter when he comes to replace isagi’s damned fork, and try to keep your disappointment hidden for the rest of your dinner.

as you get into the car, you wonder where you went wrong.

was it so bad that you wanted to get married after four years? did you have to push your thirties to get married to the love of your life? were you unreasonable to expect a proposal on your anniversary?

as isagi drives you home, to the apartment you’ve shared with him for the past two years, and it’s becoming more obvious that he didn’t have anything else planned, other thoughts start to cloud you.

maybe you had heard wrong, or he was referring to some other ring. maybe you were dreaming. maybe he didn’t want to marry you, after all. why would he when he was rich, good-looking, a star athlete? what did you have to offer him, except for your love?

his voice snaps you out of your trance.

“you’re kinda quiet,” he remarks lightly, “are you okay? did you like your food?”

you clear your throat, and force a smile, “yeah, it was good, as always.”

he’s peeking at you from his peripheral vision, and you can tell he doesn’t believe you. but you’re so caught up in these doubts, the disappointment so heavy on your chest, that you’re having a hard time hiding it.

isagi pulls into the parking garage of your complex and shuts off the car. you’re about to get out, feeling suffocated, but he puts his hand on your wrist.

“y/n,” he says, “i can tell when you’re upset.”

you fiddle with your hands, anxious, about to explode. the silence is deafening, and you feel like you're at the edge of a cliff.

“i thought you were going to propose,” you blurt, looking down at your lap.

it’s quiet, only the sounds of tires against pavement faint in the background. you can hear your heart pounding in your ears, the blood rushing through your veins.

finally, he chuckles—as if it was funny—and wonders, “why would i do that?”

your heart sinks, and your blood freezes.

“i don’t know,” you mumble, feeling silly, "nevermind."

when you finally glance at him, he’s looking at you blankly, as if he hadn’t just confirmed your worst fears. as if the thought had never crossed his mind. you unclick your seatbelt.

“let’s just go home,” you insist.

you’re not sure how you manage to act normal, or maybe isagi just doesn’t want to bring the issue up again, but you manage to fall asleep beside him for a few hours.

at dawn, you’re already awake. and you remember exactly what isagi had looked like when he had asked you why he would ever ask you to marry him.

you glance at him beside you, his expression soft, his snores even. and usually, you love this version of your boyfriend. all versions of him, in fact.

but right now, all you want to do is leave.

so you get ready, slipping out of bed without waking him up, pulling on your big sweater that isn’t his, and leave through the front door.

you enjoy your morning coffee at your favorite café, watching customers come and go. you see the anxious college students studying on the table in a dark corner, or the couples coming in to grab a coffee to go with their dog, and you wonder why you couldn’t be like them.

because they want to be together, you think, even though you know it’s unfair to isagi.

you don’t even notice the time until you’ve finished your second coffee and your stomach growls.

it’s past noon already, and you hadn’t even received a text from your boyfriend asking where you were. he had to be awake by now and done his morning jog. so why wasn’t he saying anything?

instead of getting lunch, you get an iced tea to go, and leave to take a walk.

when you finally return home, the doorway is dark. but you see isagi's shoes, so he must be there.

"yoichi?" you call, unsure.

it's quiet. you turn on the lights in the living room, and when you round the corner, you see that it's been completely changed.

MARRY ME? was written in petals on the floor. the room was so filled with flowers that the scent was thick in the air. you're stunned, even as you take a step forward, touching the bouquet to confirm that it was real.

"surprise," isagi murmurs, coming up to you from behind, covering your eyes.

you can't help it, after everything. you start to bawl loudly. he laughs, different from last night, and spins you around in his arms.

he takes your face in his hands, "why're you crying? i didn't even propose yet."

"i just—" you hiccup, your eyes swelling, "i don't—"

isagi grins at you before he drops to one knee. he pulls a box from his pocket and opens it to reveal a ring he knew you'd love—the prongs coming up around the diamond, a hidden halo wrapped around the base of the prongs, looking just like a tulip.

your lip quivers.

"i love you, always," he tells you honestly, "will you marry me, y/n?"

"yes," you breathe, "yes."

isagi holds you in his arms later that night, your ear next to his heart.

"sorry about last night," he mumbles, embarrassed, "i didn't mean to say that. i had this planned for tomorrow. i wanted your parents to be here, but their train got delayed. when you asked me, i was already stressed and just got caught off guard..."

"when i woke up this morning, and you were gone, i knew i had to do it today. so i was busy getting this all ready, hoping you would come home eventually."

you tighten your arms around his waist. "it's okay," you reassure him, "but it did hurt."

"my bad," he tells you, kissing the top of your head.

"did you just wait in the dark for me to come home?" you smile a little, imagining him sitting in your kitchen, wondering when you would arrive.

he pouts. "i would've waited forever for you, if that's what it takes."

[seishiroh]

“THREE KNOTS.” / itoshi sae x f!reader.

— sfw. angst. non-established relationship. long distance lovers. pining. fluff. mentioned rin itoshi (not too canon compliant vague state of their relationship.) insecurity. some jealous undertones. misunderstandings. no real comfort.

— not proofread. might be a bit too wordy. also some chance of ooc-ness cause, idk, i tried though. :] ending might've sounded a bit rushed but i was trying to do something and it was not... doing anything. loosely inspired of NIKI's Autumn.

it's a tempestuous relationship—whatever you have with itoshi sae. but he's all you've ever known. whatever love is, it's defined by him.

you met him only three years ago. when he flew to japan to renew his passport only to stay because of blue lock—and whenever you think about it, it's almost like it was meant to be—you and sae.

the meeting him, the wanting him, the wanting you.

you're not sure what it is about him and what it is he saw in you that kept you together then. but his nights were yours. you'd trace your name against his exposed skin and you know he can tell, because you can feel him tense up whenever you do it.

he never stopped you then.

and you wonder which reaction was the most real from sae: the way he'd tense up as you traced your name or that he never told you to stop.

like you could.

like you had him.

you were both only eighteen; it's the first love you've ever known—maybe it's the only love you'll ever come to know.

but sae itoshi's reality is far from yours. so, so far from yours. that's why you're gripping his hand in yours like you'd fall from the earth or float away from it if you let go.

sae doesn't tell you this, not when he needs to board his plane with only a few minutes left, but he almost wishes he could stay with you.

play house, play lovers.

maybe he won't be itoshi sae, and you won't be y/n, but he'd love you the same.

you've gotten only barely a year of you and sae, but at the airport, you hold out your heart—soft and beating fast.

"i love you," you whisper against the pulse right under his ear, like if his heart could hear it, then maybe he won't have to go.

he hears you loud and clear. only because the language of your love is something he could recognize from a mile away.

sae itoshi is only barely nineteen. and i love you are foreign words even if he means to say them.

his thumb brushes against your bottom lip. it's gentle, along with his gaze, trained on the movement.

sometimes you wonder what goes through his mind whenever he does this, just right before he tilts your chin up, teal eyes meeting yours. you're also unsure what it is about sae's eyes that makes them look so piercing; you only ever see it when he's looking right at you.

he leans in, eyes flickering from yours down to your lips, then he brushes his lips against yours—it's barely there—like he's testing it like he hasn't done this a million couple times before.

then he presses a kiss on the corner of your mouth, butterfly kisses, fleeting then coming back for more.

only then—does he really kisses you. he kisses you like it's enough to make up for the words he's not saying.

"i'll come back," he says in between kisses; even at that, he can feel the smile on your lips. it's just a promise, but you smile like you trust him—like you genuinely believed it, like you'd hold him to it even if it took a decade.

"i'll call you when the plane lands," he adds.(because it's the best he could say.)

"it'll be midnight here," you reply, while still gripping on his unzipped tracksuit, your other hand against his chest—because he could keep the words to himself, but you figured the wild thumping of his heart couldn't lie, couldn't ever keep a secret.

"you'll answer," he tells you.

and he's right. he always is.

and one day, you'd wish all of these stolen moments with him were enough. only because they had to have been, only because itoshi sae knew little else outside football, but he knew you.

sae thinks you're quite easy to read from the get-go, but in the months you've spent together, sae has learned you. as though you mattered that much.

you were only barely nineteen. you think you might've shot to the stars when you dreamt about sae itoshi not leaving you or maybe keeping you.

"sae-chan!" his manager yells from a distance, "we have to get in now!"

it's barely there, but you can feel the way he sighs. when sae lets you go and walks away, he doesn't turn back, doesn't wave, doesn't glance to see if you're walking away too.

he doesn't look out the window once he's seated inside the plane; he doesn't watch the view of japan fade away.

but at one thirty-six am, your phone is ringing.

you pick up at the first ring—because you haven't slept, subconsciously waiting for his call.

his voice filters in first, too monotonous for the words he's saying, "i should've asked you to come."

you laugh. only because you know he doesn't mean it, not really.

you miss him already, though. so you allow his little lie. besides, maybe it's not a complete lie. perhaps he really thinks so, but even if he did, he'd never allow it.

unlike you, allowing his calls at midnight to talk about the day and whisper empty promises for the next few months.

"after soccer," he says silently, "we can stay together."

his voice is warmer through the phone, mostly from his exhaustion than anything, but you think it must mean something at least—that it's always you on the other end of the line whenever he comes home, it's always you on the receiving end of his smile through the screen, always you that you see him texting after his team wins a match.

"after soccer," you echo him with a laugh, "i don't think there's an after soccer for you, sae."

your tone isn't malicious when you tell him this, and he's not sure what comes first—that he knows he's hurting you or that he loves you more for understanding.

"i'll figure it out," he answers you, completely serious. he says he will like he could do it all on his own.

"i'll figure it out with you," you say. "i'm right here with you, sae," and you tell him because you think he needs the reminder.

it's odd, you hope you're not wrong, but you can feel sae smiling through the phone in the silence.

when you whisper these promises to each other, promises that are as empty as they are pretty—you think it must mean something.

sae only wanted things that pushed him towards his goals but then there was you... and for a while, you thought you belonged there.

it must mean something, that there was you—running and trying so hard to catch up to his dreams because he wanted you there. running eastward to the warmth that sae had reserved only for you.

but if you were more honest with yourself, there is nothing between you and sae.

sometimes, when sae is gone from you and far into his own world, you think perhaps you might've truly been delusional to think you ever had a shot at calling him yours.

that's why when he gets involved in a dating scandal—with someone who's not you—you have to pretend everything is fine. you think it shouldn't be much of a challenge to do so, since no one even knows about you and sae.

as for sae, you wait for his calls, but for the next few weeks, they never come.

still, you try to think maybe it's your fault. you haven't reached out since then, but he hasn't either; you're stuck with nothing but a promise that you're starting to doubt ever even existed.

you know you love him, and you'd like to think that somewhere in his heart, sae loved you too.

except it's not enough to keep you from doubting otherwise until itoshi rin comes knocking on your door, plane ticket in hand, like whatever you had with sae hadn't ended when you stopped talking to him weeks ago.

but sae's little brother is there, telling you to come to sae because his brother's not doing well without you.

you're not sure what it means because sae seems to have been doing just fine when you saw his recent game—especially when you saw a picture of him leaving a building with the rumored girlfriend.

that's why you're shaking your head at rin, who's still standing by your front door. at rin, who's sighing and finally relenting.

"i don't care what you do, i'm just here to give this," he tells you (and you can't help but pick up on the way he speaks like sae) but he reaches out and takes your hand, leaving you the plane ticket and walking away without so much as a goodbye.

the flight isn't til three more days.

you stare at it, laid on the palm of your hand, and somehow you feel like crying. sighing, you close your door and leave the plane ticket on your coffee table.

maybe the universe would do you a favor and let the wind take care of it, fly out the window or fall somewhere you couldn't find.

the next morning, it's still there.

when you come home, it's still there. you consider ripping it, hoping you won't let yourself stumble over and stupidly back into sae's arms somehow.

but when the night comes and there's a gaping hole in your chest where sae resides, you miss him so much you think you'd die—your resolve breaks. you think about texting him because that's the easiest part, but the curtains of your window sway forward at the wind, and it makes you think of sae and the way it's the first thing he does when he wakes up, opening the window and letting the air in, and how it would be so lovely to see him do it when you're there.

there's a plane ticket taunting you.

you figure flying all the way to spain for sae is crazy but if it meant seeing his face, hearing his voice—if it meant you'd have the chance to keep him in any way he'd allow, perhaps it'd be worth it.

rin sends you a message just as you're boarding the plane the next day; it's an address to an apartment in spain and instructions to contact sae's manager once you land.

you follow it all—heart over head until he's right in front of you, lithe fingers curling over the handle of your luggage and rolling it inside his apartment—where all his windows are open, all wind and sunlight pouring in.

"rin said you didn't wanna come," he speaks up, turning to look at you awkwardly standing by the door.

"i didn't—" you try to say, but it feels like a lie, "but i missed you more."

sae walks up to you, his hands tucked inside his jacket and his stare that never really gives away how he feels.

"why not?"

you give him a shrug. "is there someone else, sae?" you ask, so blunt and earnest that his lips twitch in a smile.

sae reaches out, holds onto your hips, "you've got a good brain in there. use it," he replies, lets your question fall back to you, "is there, y/n?"

you frown at him like you're a child telling him he's being unfair. "there might," you pause, "but then i'd have to leave," but your hands moving to his chest doesn't make it convincing.

his heart jumps at your touch, it beats steadily. it's a rhythm only you're privy to.

"...there isn't," he says finally, eyebrows furrowing. "you're with me."

you smile because you believe him, "you stopped calling, though?"

"you were upset," he quips.

you nod, point taken. "and you let me be upset at you, itoshi sae? just like that? and let me think maybe you don't love me after—?"

the scowl on his face is quick to form as you spoke, "shut up," he says, completely serious.

"will you say sorry?" you say instead, trying to sound teasing, but your voice is soft and it's the easiest thing in the world for sae to pick up on.

"no," he whispers, pulling you even closer.

"make it up to me?" you continue even though you know he'll shake his head, stand his ground. not scared enough to test his patience, even though maybe you should be.

you want to let up, to take it as it is. to love him with no need for anything else, but the reality of your feelings win and you're asking another question before you could stop yourself.

"am i with you, sae?"

"stupid," he mutters. "i love only you."

right there, in his hold and the sunlight hitting him just right, you find yourself in itoshi sae's apartment for the first time, finally offering you his affections.

perhaps the world can have him every other way, but him just like this, you get to have all for yourself. in the way he pulls you in, presses kisses to your skin. in the way he comes through the door and searches for you in the room, and he smells so good and feels so safe for no reason at all.

while you're there, still unknown to the world, your hands are intertwined beneath the tables when he takes you out, it feels just enough.

in the mornings, you wake up early with him. it's contagious—he's contagious. his habits and idiosyncrasies. when you're brushing your teeth, he's carelessly littering kisses on your neck until you're scolding him about how you can't move. he gives your hips a pat—once, twice—peers at you through the mirror, then he's off.

sometimes, you wonder what it would be like to be able to call him yours. say he's your boyfriend, mean something more.

you think about how nice it would be if you could stay here with him. play house, play lovers.

and no one had to know, because he was enough.

but when sae's stopped for a post match interview and they're asking about her—the girl in the pictures—you wonder if you're enough. because sae stops only for a moment, then he’s sneering at them to fuck off.

under the sheets and a few hours left before you fly back to japan, sae's room is dim in the night. you tug on the necklace he keeps on all the time, bodies pressed together in a bed only fit for him.

he hums, eyes sewn shut still.

"are you only ever with me, sae?"

there's a beat of silence. sae knows exactly what you're talking about, but he's almost sure nothing he could say will never stop you from wondering what if.

so he doesn't try to dispel it, but at least he pulls you in and presses a kiss on top of your head.

he offers you a whisper of yes, and that's all you get.

you're not sure why sae is risking this, when the media always has their eyes on him, but he insists on bringing you to the airport.

there's a sinking feeling in your gut you can't quite shrug off. but sae is holding your hand, igniting your body aflame, peering over you like there's so much he wants to say.

your anxiety insists that it's nothing good. the words never come, though; just sae hooking a finger around one of the belt loops of your jeans to pull you in.

he tugs one, two, three times more, securing you close to him and then he's cupping your face in his hands, kissing you like it's the last time.

all sweeter, all slower. like if he could pause the time, stay there forever, he might actually do it.

you wonder if he feels it now, the way you felt a year ago. in the airport, not really sure when you'd see each other again.

sae doesn't tell you to call him when your plane lands.

instead, he tells you to send him a message when you're home. you nod only because it feels better not to shatter this now, when he's all affection and the one who loves you most.

it's the first thing you do.

your chest is burdened with a weight that doesn't truly exist until his message comes before yours.

we're done.

you'd think that if you anticipate the pain, it would hurt less. but it doesn't, not for the quick sob that rips itself out of your chest, not for the tears that start falling before you make sense of it.

it's only a two-year run and you're barely twenty-one, but you think you'd be sae's forever.

it's a love hard-earned, hard-learned. a love letting go of you before you even stood a chance.

you tell him you're home, just like promised. right before you delete his number, because if you knew sae at all, he'd have your contacts deleted soon enough—if you're optimistic, maybe he'd do it more for him than you.

and miles away, you're right. while you grieve the love you'd always want, sae makes sure he won't crumble from thinking what if.

this is the choice he made for your sake, for his. he could only hope to god if he could finally keep you close to his chest, that you would still let him.

it's a terrible fate, though.

sae could only come back when the chance no longer exists.

[seishiroh]

im almost done, im abt to break free from this godforsaken fic !!!!!

[seishiroh]

this sae fic is overcooked at this point ngl...

[seishiroh]

— hiii I'm just stopping by to say i LOVE 'it felt like the world' sm i think its my fave nagi fic on this app ^^

hiiii-lo !! sorry im just getting back to this,, I HAVENT CHECKED MY TUMBLR FOR A WHOLE MONTH I TJINK LFMAOHSJS but THANK U SMMMMM <33

[yoiseis]

◤ EPISODE 6: SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE

pairing ⇢ itoshi rin x f!reader

synopsis ⇢ you're excited to fall in love, but unfortunately for you, itoshi rin does not believe in soulmates.

genre ⇢ soulmates au, strangers to lovers, angst to fluff

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FUN FACTS

☆ listen to bachira's voice message here: BRUH ☆ rin does it almost unconsciously, but he seems pretty used to your attention by now. ☆ bachisagi has found yn's priv and has been bugging her about letting them in. ☆ i had to re-do the messages just about 4 times ... for multiple little details, like forgetting to put on dark mode :smh: —rowi

[yoiseis]

◤ EPISODE 5: HEY GOD IT'S ME AGAIN

pairing ⇢ itoshi rin x f!reader

synopsis ⇢ you're excited to fall in love, but unfortunately for you, itoshi rin does not believe in soulmates.

genre ⇢ soulmates au, strangers to lovers, angst to fluff

⇢ PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT | TAGLIST

FUN FACTS

☆ nagireo replied to yn's priv tweet and said yes you are annoying... #FreeYN ☆ bachisagi can tell when rin receives one of your texts because he frowns. nagireo can tell what kind of response you get (or dont get) from your expressions ☆ everyday, the four of them take bets in their gc about whether rin texts you back today

[seishiroh]

reo gives off like, angsty he's nice n caring to everyone so you don't know if he likes you or just playing w your feelings :3

[seishiroh]

goodnight i hope nagi seishiro knows i would spoon feed him anytime he wants